A/N: I'm sorry this took so long! I've been focused on Spanish class and I need to pass it! I already failed it once! XD
Sorry if there are errors, this was written in a rush! But I still tried to make it good! I listened to 'I'm in love with the HERO' by SNSD while writing this so if there are references that's why!
WARNING: I didn't know how to start this chapter so…it's probably not very good in the beginning.
Anyways, enjoy!
-^J^-
Chapter 4: Meeting the parents
The first thing Arthur had noticed was the room. Paint and lavender burned his nostrils as he took it all in. Its cream walls were lined with deep red trimming that complemented the long brown curtains which reached the floor. Women glanced back admirably at the lush plains outside the wide windows as the men chatted of business and life. Each person dressed in bold purples, reds and whites and picked at modest portions of chicken smothered in red sauce. Arthur didn't know these people, never had, however he finally began to understand their fascination.
Arthur stood at the end of the room with a black pea coat and slacks. His undershirt was forest green and peeked innocently out of his jacket. Normally he would've complained about such simple attire had it not been for his mother who had almost forced his scrawny body into an elaborate wedding dress. Thank god she lost me, Arthur thought with a glum pout before he snapped awake by a hand on his shoulder. "Excuse me sir, we will be starting soon." He nodded towards the preacher and turned back to glance at his family.
His mother waved to him with a jerk of her hand as she picked his younger brother Peter (A/N: Sealand) up from his fort under the table. Scott and his other two brothers were chuckling wildly at their food, slinging it at one another and shoving the mush into their mouths. His father, as expected, was not present. "Where is your family, Jones?" Arthur murmured lowly and scanned the crowd. Speaking of Alfred, I wonder how ridiculous he looks right now; he's probably in some bloody American flag tuxedo.
As if on cue, the doors swung open. Arthur immediately choked at the sight of the tight suit that Alfred had squeezed into. His biceps and chest showed exceptionally fit in the grey tuxedo and his glasses had been removed to reveal shining blue eyes. That wide grin was still placed on his pink lips and his hands were clasped behind his back. His stubborn cowlick still stood loud and proud on his head however his amber locks had been tamed. On his breast pocket was a rose with soft out curled edges. He looked ravishing, no-not that, he looked like a prince ready to sweep Arthur off his feet. Arthur could feel heat rush to his face and stubbornly ignored the tightness in his pants. God I hate you, Alfred Jones!
Alfred took in the short statured man at the altar. His shaggy hair had been tamed forcefully with a comb and his hands were tucked elegantly in his pockets. His thick eyebrows were untouched (Alfred had been secretly hoping they messed with those, just to piss Arthur off) and his frown was, unsurprisingly, still clinging to his lips. His green eyes were a lit with a strange golden glow and he looked the picture of gentleman. Okay, he doesn't look cute Jones, not at all dude, Alfred looked over Arthur once more. Fuck it, he looks downright adorable and I really wish I wouldn't have to admit that. To say Arthur was a princess would be a lie, however he could pass for a badass heroine.
Alfred preceded down the aisle with big steps, his father trailing behind him with a flourish. Forcing on a heroic smile, he counted down the steps to his kryptonite. When his throat constricted he thought about turning back and running away when he reached Arthur and his ever-glowing anger. The preacher began speaking slowly to the cooing crowd of men and women. "We are gathered here today," he began in a monotone drawl. Alfred teetered to his side and glanced at Arthur who responded with a deep-set glare. Soon he realized, he was going to be glaring the entire speech and decided to gazing at the wall would better suit him.
After they said their vows, a child scurried up to them with a plush pillow. Alfred gently plucked Arthur's ring from the cushion and held out his hand. Slowly, Arthur responded and curled his fingers around Alfred's palm. They gazed at one another for a few moments in a heated battle then Alfred shoved the gold band onto Arthur's finger. The other grunted in response and swept the other ring off the pillow. With little caution, Arthur gripped Alfred's hand and pushed the ring onto Alfred's finger. "You may now kiss," the preacher paused for the correct word, "the groom?" Then Alfred dug his fingernails into Arthur's shoulders and slammed his lips against the others.
People watched in amazement at the 'love' that the once rivals shared and when Arthur tugged on Alfred's hair, the men cheered. After a breathtaking minute, they released each other. A thin trail of saliva connected their bruised lips. Arthur leaned up and ran his tongue across Alfred's mouth to collect the mix of spit before kissing his jaw.
"I really fucking hate you, Jones," Arthur whispered against Alfred's jaw.
"Hah, that makes two of us Kirkland," he breathlessly replied in Arthur's ear.
As the flashes of the cameras blinded them one thought still hung in the air. Fuck. We're married.
-^J^-
Arthur glanced down at the framed pictures placed on the table. Each photo contained a house, each elaborate and eccentric in elegance. "Lo siento, I guess I should have picked a more secluded home," Antonio winked suggestively from across the coffee table. Alfred blinked at him. Once. Twice. Three times. Then Arthur thumped him on the forehead. "I'll have you know that we do not plan on doing anything of the sort." Antonio chuckled and crossed his arms daintily over his chest. "So, what house do you like, hm?" Alfred focused on each picture then stated firmly, "The third one." Arthur took a moment to scan over the advertisements. "Absolutely not! We want the seventh one!" Alfred snorted mercilessly, "No, we want the third one."
"So help me Jones, we want the seventh!"
Alfred sighed dramatically, "Fine."
Arthur glared at Alfred and asked with a growl, "Why must you always go out of your way to annoy me?" Alfred glanced up at him and shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno." Arthur flew a fist down onto Alfred's skull. "Fuck! Ow-ow-ow!" Alfred held onto his head, mumbling and glaring at Arthur like a disobedient child. "Don't get cross with me, Jones. I'm warning you. I will not hesitate to do that again." Alfred spared his puppy eyes for Antonio, who just grinned in return. Seeing as how Antonio ignored his pleas, he sighed and decided to let the poor secretary leave.
"Anyways, I guess we're taking number seven." Antonio snickered and waited for Arthur's response as Alfred pushed the British man away from him. "Yes, number seven," Arthur agreed. "Si, let me get the papers ready and you will be moving in two days. Be sure to get everything packed." Alfred hopped up and shook Antonio's hand firmly, "Alright dude, see you later!"
Antonio blinked then grinned widely as he pulled Alfred into a bone-crushing hug. "Adios, buddy! I look forward to see how you fare!" Antonio gathered the photos, saluted Alfred and Arthur, and skipped out of the house with a toothy smile. "Look you probably scared the shit out of him with those creepy eyebrows of yours! And I'm still angry at you, why haven't you apologized?" Alfred's voice morphed into a whiny shrill as he threw his arms aimlessly.
"I highly doubt he was frightened. As for that night, I still refuse to apologize for that." Alfred rolled his eyes and pushed past Arthur to pull on his blue hoodie. "What are you doing? It's not that cold in here, wanker." Ignoring him, Alfred pushed up his glasses and sauntered out the door.
"Wh-where are you going? Don't you dare ignore me!" Arthur shrugged on his coat and stomped after him, his finger wiggling in the air in annoyance.
-^J^-
Alfred had led them to a small coffee stand in the park. After ordering a steaming cup of grainy coffee, Alfred parked his butt at a bench and tried not to shiver as the icy wind bit his skin. Arthur reluctantly sat down next to him holding a foam cup filled with American tea (which, mind you, was bitter and weak). "Dude, why did I come to the park?" Alfred muttered to himself and glared at his partner, who glared back with equal disgust. "I have no clue. I was expecting McDonalds or something, not something so," Arthur searched for the correct word, "sanitary." Alfred snorted in response and downed his coffee in one gulp. Few people scattered about, oblivious to the dashing Hollywood actor and his newly-wed on the bench. Suddenly, his phone buzzed awake and irritably he flipped it open and held it to his ear (making sure that it was on the same side as Arthur). "Yo?" He could feel Arthur's glare on him at the greeting and decided to scurry off to a shadowy tree. "Alfred? It's your lover." Alfred rolled his eyes at the nasally accent through the phone. "Oh yeah, my lover. What do you want, man?" He glanced back at Arthur, who blinked around at the scenery in boredom. "You did not tell big bruzer zat you were getting married to-," Alfred was left with an obscene melody of French laughing when the line went dead.
"What the hell? Ah, well, he was probably dead drunk." Suddenly he remembered that last phone call from three weeks ago and reluctantly (though he actually didn't want to see Arthur again) he punched in his mother's phone number. After a few rings he was greeted with a quiet gasp. "Al, is that you? Oh, Al I have so much to tell you!" His mother's airy giggle forced a smile to twitch its way onto his lips. "Yes mother, I also have a lot to tell you."
"Say no more, Al. I know my son better than anyone, have you been getting bullied?"
"Ah-what? Well there is a bully but-," he chuckled and glanced back at Arthur again, who by now was glaring at the tree that blocked him, as if he could hear him.
"Who's been bullying my son?" Her tone lowered dangerously over the phone.
"It's no one important. Anyways, about what I wanted to tell you. I'm moving into a new house so I'll text the directions to you when I get there."
"A new house? Could I help you move some of your things? I would like to see it myself."
Alfred mulled this over his head for a few moments before responding hesitantly, "I suppose."
His mother's soft laugh played in response before Alfred pressed on.
"But! I must warn you of something before you get here. There's a beast so sinister I'm afraid your hero must protect you throughout the journey."
"Oh? Sinister beast? Sounds like fun! I'll be at your home in two!"
"Two minutes?" Alfred gaped at his phone.
"Two minutes? Heavens no! Two days, sweetie. Honestly, your brother must've gotten the brains. Ta-ta, my little hero!"
"Bye, mom!" Alfred slipped out from behind the tree with a grin and bounced back to the bench.
"What took you so long?" Arthur questioned, his eyebrows furrowing together when his frown deepened.
"Francis called. And I had to talk to my mom." Alfred sat back on the bench, pulling up his legs to sit cross-legged.
"What about? With your mother I mean. I could care less about that frog-face." Arthur turned to face Alfred as if interested.
"The usual. She wants to help me pack up to move, so make sure you're not there when she arrives."
"Of course," Arthur replied, his left eye twitching up in amusement.
"I know what that means. 'Of course'! You only say that when you come up with a plan!" Alfred jabbed a finger at Arthur, a smirk evident on his face.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Arthur innocently replied as he tossed his cup into the trash bin next to them. Night arrived thirty minutes later and the park was empty of all New Yorkers who had by now gone for more excitement.
One by one the lampposts snapped on, lighting up the winding sidewalk and the bench that the two men sat at. Sighing, Alfred pushed off the bench and glanced around at the silent park. "What are you doing?" Arthur pulled himself and followed after the American. "It's too damn quiet! I kind of want to scream my head off!" And he had done just that, letting out a blood-curdling scream that could rival the running women in horror movies. "Shut up! Damn git, you are too loud! Shut up! Bloody hell," Arthur shoved his fingers in his ears and glared at Alfred's back. Turning around, Alfred snickered and watched as Arthur unplugged his ears. "Sorry, didn't want to be molested by your eyebrows." Alfred tossed his coffee cup on the ground and walked back in the direction of Arthur's house. "Hey-ah, you pick up this coffee cup! You are such a child!" Arthur huffed and deposited the cup into the bin and stalked off past Alfred.
-^J^-
Two days later, Alfred pulled up into his old house's driveway to gather his things for the new house. Immediately he took notice of the blue minivan that was parked next to him and, specifically, the woman wiggling her fingers at him from inside it. Her wavy dark blonde hair was tied up into a ponytail and she still held that look that spoke 'sporty'. "Is that your mother?" Alfred groaned when he remembered the grumpy British man in the seat next to him. "Yes, that is. Stay in the car, I don't want her turning to stone." Arthur snorted but ignored him in favor of the window. Not even a second after slamming his car door shut had his mother nuzzled him into a hug.
"Hi, mom. Let's get started, shall we?" His mother nodded vigorously and practically skipped through the door. Feeling empowered, he stepped in after her and started to his living room with a cardboard box in hand.
Meanwhile, Arthur was blankly flipping through an old issue of glamour magazine. "Do these women have no decency?" He wasn't talking about their scantily clad bodies but simply their choice of clothing in general. "Jeggings? What are these?" He scrutinized the red-headed woman in a plaid shirt and 'jeggings'. "They look like jeans. I don't understand at all. It's rather stuffy in here, that git better have left the keys in here." Glancing around, Arthur noticed a Mickey Mouse key ring and sighed in relief. Forcing the keys into the ignition, he notched up the air conditioner to full blast and began intently reading the 6-page article on the odd jeans.
"Oh, Al?" Alfred grimaced when his mother dropped his baby booties into the box.
"Yeah?" He examined a quilt his grandmother owned before tossing it into that same box.
"I forgot to ask but, exactly why are you moving?"
He froze in place, hands gripping his couch pillow as if his life depended on it. "W-why do you ask?"
"Well, I assumed you wanted to live further away from me but-," his mother paused and glanced at him.
"Not at all, mom! It's just-Let's talk about this later, okay?" His mother sighed but followed suit and continued to dump photo albums into the box.
-^J^-
Three hours later, they had cleared the kitchen, living room and were now making their way upstairs to Alfred's bedroom. "Uh-oh. Looks like we may need to take two trips!" Alfred nodded towards his mother and pushed open his bedroom door, instantly reaching for his posters. "I agree. Hey mom, could you go get the hammer downstairs? I think it's in the toolbox on the porch." His mother nodded and rushed down the stairs to the front door. When she caught sight of the red metal container she popped it open and shuffled through its contents. "Ah-excuse me?" Blinking slowly, she wheeled around to face a short man. "Hm? Are you the repo man?" The man raised an eyebrow and softly smiled, "Actually no. But, ah-how do I put this?" Grinning, she tugged the man by the arm and led him into the living room, the hammer tucked in her apron. "Okay, how can I help you? Are you a friend of Al's?"
"Not necessarily."
"Mom, where are you? I kind of need that ha-," Alfred stopped in the doorway to the living room. "Didn't I tell you to wait in the car? I haven't explained it to her yet! I'm ruined now!" Alfred knelt on the ground and clasped his hands in prayer.
"You fool! Leaving me in that car to die while you went out reminiscing? And look now the car ran out of gas and I'm stranded here! With you, no less!" Arthur stomped over to Alfred and slapped him on the head.
"What? Why didn't you roll down the windows?"
"It's hot outside! Honestly, how stupid are you?"
"Well at least I don't destroy everything I touch!"
"Well if I do, why are you still here? Arse."
"Ass! At least say it right!"
Meanwhile, the woman long forgotten stared at the arguing men with wide blue eyes and pursed lips. "Al, who is this?" The arguing was silenced by that question and now Alfred stared nervously at her. "Well," he began and looked at Arthur who sighed and stepped towards the woman to sit on the couch. Clasping her hands in his he began, "This may be hard to explain but recently Alfred has," he paused, "gotten married." Tears started rolling down her cheeks instantly she stood up to pull her son into a gripping hug. "That's so great! Al, is that why you're moving? Where's the lucky gal? Let your mum meet her!" Alfred snickered and tossed an arm around his mother's thin shoulders. "Well, the lucky 'gal' is right here, mom." He waved his palm at Arthur, who by now had retreated to the other side of the room.
"That's great, sweetie! I didn't know you were a homosapien! Too bad you can't have children though. So, let me take a picture of you two lovebirds!" She pushed Alfred towards Arthur and ignored the questioning look from Arthur at Alfred being a 'homosapien'. As she set up her phone, Arthur awkwardly stood next to Alfred with a forced smile and pulled at the hem of his sweater. Alfred fared no better and unconsciously twisted the gold band on his ring finger as his mother situated herself for the picture. When she pulled the phone up to her face, Alfred sheepishly grinned for the flash of the camera. However, it never came. And when he focused back on his mother, her eyebrows were knitted in confusion. "Where's the spark? I need to see the passion! Stop being so bashful you two, I won't tell a soul! Come on, everyone else got to see your wedding kiss let me see it too!"
Alfred mentally groaned and cupped Arthur's cheek to bend down and kiss him-on the forehead. "Honestly, can't you do anything right?" Arthur muttered before pulling Alfred down into a bruising kiss, his eyebrows knitted together as he stepped closer to Alfred. Large hands tugged his waist closer and soon their chests were pushed together. Alfred slipped a hand down to grab at Arthur's ass when he suddenly remembered that his mother was present and held his hand in an awkward position in the air. Arthur stepped away from Alfred with ragged breath when he realized that he had almost moaned into Alfred's mouth. 'Damn, why must I be so horny?' both men thought as they slapped the red from their cheeks.
"So nice. How I miss those honeymoon days. Are you two planning on going to the Bahamas for your honeymoon? Mattie and I will gladly come with you guys!" She waved her hands excitedly at the men, who only stared at her in response as they wiped their lips clean. "Well, let's figure that out later. First, let's finish packing and then I will drive you guys to your new house!" They agreed with her and quietly continued boxing up keepsakes of Alfred's. His mother picked up a shoe from under the bed and turned around to speak when she blinked at the scene. It had been unusually quiet for her however now, she noticed, that the two men were speaking volumes with each other. And when they caught sight of each other's hands their gazes locked together. Growing red to their ears, the men turned away from each other and crawled to opposite sides of the room. "So cute," she whispered to herself, hands set on her cheeks, "I should show Mattie." And with that, she sent her previous photo to his phone with a winking emoticon.
Meanwhile, Matthew had his face practically pressed up against his television screen. After all, on a Saturday night what better to do than watch some good ol' hockey, eh? From his side, he heard a buzz of his phone and glanced over at it for a moment then returned to the game. When a 'Macys' commercial popped up minutes later, he sighed and reached for his phone. Flipping it open, his jaw hung slack. "That fokken goof.*"
-^J^-
That took an incredibly long time to update. God, I can see France in my window. Ready to molest me for not updating. Anyways, I will have it in two weeks for sure. Just have to pass Spanish first! I already failed it once. XD I suck at learning languages.
Until next time, Read and review! Please! I like to hear what you guys think, it gives me ideas! Thanks so much for reading!
*I researched offensive words said by Canadians and apparently, 'Goof' is one of the worst things to call someone*
(Which makes sense since every time I call my Canadian friend a 'Silly goof' or something, he stares at me like I just slapped him.) XD