***One step back, two steps forward***

Barney and Marshall came into the bar, and found Lilly sitting alone at their usual booth, her arms folded in front of her chest and a pouty look on her face.

"Hey, Lillypad," Marshall said as he slid into the booth next to his wife.

"You!" Lilly said, pointing an accusing finger at Barney. "This is all your fault. Would you slap him for me, please?"

"Hey!"

"Actually, I already did once tonight," Marshall said with a smile.

"It hurt!"

"Good." Marshall and Lilly said in unison.

"Will some one explain to me what is going on?"

"You just had to choose bimbos! You couldn't have manned up and dealt with this months ago. Now, Robin is upstairs, making a horrible mistake, and using Ted to do it. Now everyone is just going to end up hurt."

"Oh. . . That." Was all Barney could manage. He knew that Ted and Robin were probably sleeping together. He'd viewed it as inevitable once she moved in with Ted. He was fine with it. Fine. It's not like he had any right to be angry about whom she slept with. "Can I get a gin and tonic over here?!?" He blurted out as Wendy walked past.

"So why'd you slap him?"

"Oh, he professed his love for Robin to me today. He did it as part of his twelve step recovery process."

"Idiot."

"You know, you two aren't being very supportive right now. The woman I love is upstairs about to get it on with my best friend. . . Again."

"And whose fault is that?" Marshall asked, sounding vaguely paternal.

"Um. . . Ted's?"

"No."

"Doug's?"

"Try again."

"You two?"

Lilly looked at Marshall "Slap him again."

"Kids, don't tell your mom I said this, but the truth is. . . Sex is fun. Sometimes when your down and life is kicking you around, a little sex can put a smile on your face, pick you back up. . . And set you up to get kicked in the stomach again. That's something I wish I had known before having 'benefits' with Robin."

Ted kissed the base of Robin's neck, and she closed her eyes, moaning appreciatively. This was nice. This didn't hurt. When they were doing this, Robin didn't have to worry about finding a job, or a place to live, or unresolved feelings for a tank of piranhas. This was safe and pleasant. Nothing wrong with this.

They switched positions on the sofa, so that Robin was laying more on top of Ted, and she ran her hands across the fabric of his Cleveland Indians tee-shirt. Tee-shirts and sweaters, that was Ted. No Armani suits. But that was fine.

This was fine. This was the safe, smart choice; the sensible pick. She ran her hand through his hair. . . Which was kind of icky actually, what the hell did he put in his hair?

Ted could tell that she had gotten some of his hair wax on her hand, because he could hear her wiping her hand on the back of the couch. Ted took the opportunity to step up his game, and gave her some of his best moves. As hoped for, she rewarded him by letting a soft whisper escape her lips.

"Kids, pillow talk is an acquired skill, and not everyone has it. Back when I was single, I heard some pretty bad stuff."

"I'm such a bad girl! Send me to my room!"

"Ride me like a mechanical bull!"

"Who's your mommy? Who's your mommy?"

"But by far, the worst pillow talk ever, happened that night."

"Oh, Barney."

Ted stopped. Robin stopped. Everything stopped. Birds stopped in midflight and plummeted to their doom. Ted pulled away from her, and looked at her. Robin's eyes were filled with shock and fear. Instinctively, she brought her hand to her mouth. There was a long moment of silence, as the two shifted to sit awkwardly next to each other, finally, Ted broke the silence.

"Ted. You meant to say Ted."

"I'm sorry."

"Barney? Barney! Barney?!?"

"I know. I'm an idiot."

"Yeah. . . I'd say so."

"Hey!"

"You're in love with Barney Stinson." His voice was a combination of shock and amazement.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. I can't believe I didn't see it. . . Does he know?"

"Of course not. Ted. . . I'm sorry if this whole friends with benefits thing. . . I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"Yeah, this was probably a really bad idea."

"Probably."

The silence settled in again, and Ted, once again broke it. "You should tell him."

"What?"

"I'm serious; you should go talk to him."

"Why? "

"Well, sleeping with me obviously didn't make it go away. It's time for the direct approach."

Robin nodded. This was what she really needed from Ted, for him to be the amazing friend he naturally was. "I guess I should go down and talk to him." She said as she got up and straightened her clothes.

"I'll walk you down, Roomy." Ted said as they headed out the door.

"Kids, I'm not going to lie to you, things were more then just a little awkward around the apartment for a few weeks. But I think that eventually you find away to move forward. I was glad I had been there for Robin, and she had been there for me. But our futures lay elsewhere. Mine was out there somewhere, and Robin's. . . Robin's was downstairs."

They walked into the bar, and found Marshall and Lilly still in the usual booth, with no sign of Barney. They slid into the booth, and Ted noticed Lilly was avoiding eye contact with him.

"Oh, Lilly knows." Ted said to Robin.

"Wait," Lilly said, "You mean Ted knows now, too?"

"Yeah," Robin said, looking sheepish. "I sort of accidentally said something about it."

"Moaned something, actually." Ted corrected.

"Dude," Marshall shook his head, trying not to laugh. "Just as soon as you're ready for us to mock you about this, you let me know."

"Where's Barney?" Robin blurted out. The other three looked at her, and she turned another shade of red.

"He's in the bathroom, oh, here he comes." Marshall answered.

"Everyone act natural!" Lilly commanded.

"Hey, Ted. Robin." Barney said, his voice almost cracking, as walked right past the booth and to the bar. "I'll get the next round."

"Okay. . . I'm gonna go talk to him." Robin said, her hands clenching and unclenching into white-knuckled fists.

"Good luck."

"You can do it!"

"You go, girl!"

Robin just sat there. Unmoving.

"Um. . ." Marshall broke the silence, "Are you going to have this conversation with Barney telepathically, because our track record at that is spotty at best."

"I can't do this," Robin said, sounding utterly defeated.

"Sure you can." Lilly offered.

"Right then, I realized what I had to do. It was four years coming, but it was long past time for me to repay an old favor. . . "

"Come on, Robin. I got this," Ted said as he slid out of the booth. He took Robin's hand as she got out of the booth and guided her over to where Barney stood talking with Carl.

"Ted, what are you doing?" Robin hissed at him.

"I told you, I got this."

Ted tapped Barney on the shoulder. When Barney turned around, Ted pushed Robin ahead of him and asked, "Have you met Robin?"