Kleptomaniac
Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto. Kishimoto owns Naruto. I own zip. I own squat.
"Normal Speech"
"Thoughts"
'sound'
"Crazy mad psycho"
"Code"
"jutsu"
(Three years ago, Five years after the Kyuubi's attack)
"Sandaime oji-san..."
A short blond five-year old tugged at the sleeves of the venerable leader of Konoha.
"Yes, Naruto?"
"I don't have enough money for food anymore."
"Again?" The Sandaime raised an eyebrow. This was a regular occurrence whenever Naruto was caught stealing food from the local shops.
Which was pretty much every time he tried stealing, which was usually on the days before he received his stipend.
Although the Sandaime would have loved to dump a fat load of cash into the child's arms, he could not.
'Damn the council!'
"I'm sorry, Naruto. You will have to endure it for one more day."
"Oh."
Disheartened, the blond was the picture of defeat as he walked away.
--
"Ow! What's the big idea?"
Grumbling, Naruto rubbed his head as he looked around for the offending object, and the culprit.
"Bah. Coward," he snorted as he picked up the scroll. He thought no more of it as he headed for Ichiraku Ramen. Hopefully they would spare him a meal.
--
Snuggling in his rickety bed, Naruto tried to get some sleep. His room was awfully drafty...
He must have tossed and turned for hours, before he gave it up as a bad job.
Suddenly, he remembered the scroll. Getting out of bed, he lit the candle at his bedside and held up the scroll.
An idiot's guide to the Art of Financial Assistance I
Feeling poor? Need more dough? Unable to support yourself?
Have no fear! With this scroll, you will soon be on your way to a richer you!
That's right, free cash!
To get started, please see: Technique 1 - 3
1. Practitioner-sneaks-up-on-target technique
2. The Scoop
3. Fading : Leaves in wind
Additional resources
1) Anatomy of an pocket : A seamstress's guide
2)Touch : The Magic
3) DIY: Finger traps and other useful things to make
Reading anxiously, Naruto immersed himself in the instructional scroll.
The candle burnt late into the night.
--
The next morning, Naruto made a beeline for the local library, his mind whirling with new ideas.
The first item he had to borrow? Anatomy of an pocket : A seamstress's guide
"Excuse me, kiddo. Are you looking for something? Maybe I can help you," said a gentle voice way above his head. It was the librarian.
"Um.. Can you help me find Anatomy of an pocket : A seamstress's guide, Touch : The Magic and DIY: Finger traps and other useful things to make?"
"Certainly. Stay here, and don't wander off, now." said the librarian crisply.
Was it him, or was the librarian looking at Naruto weirdly?
'Nah, can't be. Trick of the light.'
Naruto waited idly, as the librarian slowly but surely found all the items he requested.
After three hours, she returned. "Here you go."
"Thank you," Naruto said as he turned to leave.
"Pardon me, but..."
"Eh?"
"Are you trying to be a tailor?"
Snickering, Naruto refused to dignify the question with a response as he left the librarian utterly confused.
--
"Righto. Masking Tape. Check. Rubber band. Check. Toothpick. Check. Painfully tight clamps. Check. ."
Naruto slowly ticked off all the possessions he had with him from the list of materials he would require.
He nodded to himself. Flipping open to the appopriate page in DIY: Finger traps and other useful things to make, Naruto prepared to create his first finger trap.
--
Thirty minutes later, a shout disturbed the neighbours.
"HELP! SOMEONE FREE ME!"
The source of the shout?
An profusely blushing blond trapped in lengths of masking tape.
--
"Ow! Damn it." Naruto cursed. That was the fifteenth time in three minutes that he had set off the finger trap.
He was improving, though. Before, he had set it off twenty times in three minutes.
While his thoughts ran wild, his moments of distraction caused him. Again.
'OW! Damn it!"
--
Naruto looked over Anatomy of an pocket : A seamstress's guide once more.
Anatomy of an pocket : A seamstress's guide
1. Dimensions of a pocket in trousers
2. Dimensions of shirt pocket
3. Hidden compartments : how to identify
4. Overview/Summary.
"Alright... Let's see," Naruto murmured as he pulled out an old orange jumpsuit from his closet.
It was full of pockets, making it the ideal tool for learning about pockets. Naruto placed his wallet into his jumpsuit and the jumpsuit on a coat hanger. There, he practiced bumping into it, apologising, and freeing the wallet from the confines of the pockets.
"One down, nine hundred, ninty-nine tries left!"
--
With Touch : The Magic spread before him, Naruto spread the ultra sticky paper in front of him. According to Touch : The Magic, if he could touch the paper without it sticking to his skin, he would have mastered The Scoop, enabling him to pilfer items without being noticed.
Naruto grinned and continued.
--
'This is ridiculous,' decided Naruto after he read the line.
You must walk across Jinta paper without being stuck to master Techniques 1 and 3.
'Good luck to me,' sighed Naruto. In his distraction, Naruto failed to watch his step. Tripping over another scroll, Naruto fell facefirst onto the paper.
"HELP!"
--
"That's it, demon scum. Learn! Learn it all!" cackled a man in a nearby alley. "Soon, my plan will be a success!"
"Halt! Who's there?"
"Grr. Demon-lovers."
By the time the passerby arrived in the alley, the man was gone.
Miss me? I was afraid you guys thought I dropped down a hole and disappeared or something... Psh. I dropped down a flight of stairs but...
Anyways, that's all for now! Click the button to review! Because Snufflefeet tells you to.