Chapter 4: Look What You've Done
"Take my photo off the wall
if it just won't sing for you
'cause all that's left has gone away
and there's nothing here for you to prove
give me back my point of view
'cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
what should I do, well you choose."
She didn't know how long she walked trying to find her.
She didn't know why she even bothered to, but something in her
wouldn't let her let Rei go off so easily, and with so much things
they needed to say.
And fate had it that she stopped by the ferris wheel, whatever
it was child nostalgia was not dead. It was alive and true in the form of
Rei Hino. Minako approached tentatively studying Rei's form carefully
mentally touching her with her eyes. Every slight hand gesture and turn
of the head did not escape Minako's eyes. Rei was mad, and she wasn't
even bothering to hide it, from the slight crease in her eyebrows to the
quick breaths she took to try to calm herself. Noting that Minako was studying
her she stopped her rigid pacing and looked up into Minako's eyes.
Minako's self seemed to have been resurrected just a little as that same
mischevious yet cocky glimmer in her eyes shone through.
"Well, well, well. Still unemployed I see, judging by the way you dress," Minako
prodded trying to get some sort of reaction from Rei.
Rei exhaled a shallow breath as she closed her eyes and let her lips tug at
the corners of her mouth.
"I'm sorry but not everyone can be as glamorous as you. I actually help people
in fact. I work for the government now," Rei stated matter of factly.
At this Minako couldn't help but grab this opportunity.
"Hmm a CEO, huh, Rei? I always thought you were ruthless enough
to take the job. You must have had Gary Coleman cowering at your feet."
At this Rei couldn't help but be goaded into this banter. Actually, it was quite
helpful to Rei it let her work off her stress in a non-violent way, but it also gave Rei
the chance to not be civil around Minako.
"Hmm, oh really? And what are you now? Had enough of your strutting? Or did the
teenagers just drop you like dead weight?"
"Oh and all this time I thought work and miko duties would straighten you out,
figures I was wrong."
At this Rei cursed a curse that did her senshi title proud clenching her fists like
she always did when nervous. This moment had turned sour to Rei at the mention
of her duties. Minako noticing this change in Rei regarded her quizzically.
"Well, I'm not going to have miko duties to tend with anymore. Since my grandfather passed
away he let some big ass corporate managers to rennovate the shrine after he died so
it'd become a bar. So typical, and you know what happens to me? Actually his exact words
were more along the lines of, "I'm setting you free". He just couldn't tell it to my face that I
was worthless," Rei replied dryly but she couldn't hide the deep-rooted anger in her voice
anymore, or the frown now that marred her features.
"I think your grandpa would like it better if you actually fought for the shrine, Rei.
I think he wants to know what the shrine means to you," Minako second-guesses.
"It meant everything to me! He said it was supposed to be the place I could call
home! He knew what it meant to me," Rei turned her head away while she bit back
at Minako for trying to help her.
"Well maybe it has something to do with his last words..."I'm setting you free"
maybe your calling just isn't for the shrine, myabe he knew that, that's why he
didn't want you to worry over it. He knew you belonged somewhere else and he
just left his last words to help you find out where," Minako works out not paying heed
to Rei's remark.
"That's bullshit! I've found what I want...up in Kyoto," Rei exclaims in disbelief.
"What's there for you in Kyoto, Rei? A bunch of star-crossed children so happy
that they have a superhero they can look up to? Stop trying to cling onto the glory days
Rei. Sure, they'll praise you for your accomplishments and award you for your courage, but
when the time comes when you no longer can stand up to the "villains" and to their expectations,
they'll forget about you. They'll forget who you are, they'll forget that you even existed.
They'll leave you Rei."
"What do you know? You only sleep well at night because you have the luxury for it. I won't end
up like you," Rei shot back unable to stop the hurtful words rushing out from her mouth in a torrent.
Minako seemed shell-shocked at Rei's agressiveness and for once she found herself on the
recieving end of Rei's might and temper. Still, she stood her ground despite Rei having dealt
a mighty blow to her smarting pride. She still had a pride....that was good, but maybe because
she was only around Rei.
"And what do you know about me? Did you not even think about what you've just done to
Usagi? And to think you call yourself a friend. Maybe when you've hurt everyone around you
that you care about, maybe then you'll finally see what you have done," Minako quietly
intoned and delivered her retort much more calmly and smoothly then Rei.
"No. No, Minako. Take a look at what you've done....I hope it makes you happy that I went
along with your lie, at least in front of Usagi. Look what you've done Minako, you've made a
fool of everyone. A damn fool...and I was the first fool to fall for it."
At this Minako's mouth slightly hangs agape and she takes a step back finally relinquishing
her stand. Quivering Minako let the helplessness bubble over as she couldn't stop herself
from shaking. Her stomach did flip flops and somersaults, as her fists clenched, and her
strawberry lips pressed thin together, as she fought for domination over her natural instincts.
She had never cried before, never, not in front of Artemis or anyone....she would not allow
herself to, after all that she had been through, she would not let someone's petty words hurt her.
No matter how hard it struck home.
Rei watched Minako go through it all in silence as she observed the way Minako's lips pursed
together and the quivering of her shoulders. A wave of regret washed through her but she refused
to let it break through to her. She hated this new Minako, at what this Minako had become, she wanted
the old back. The one who wouldn't hesitate to prove you wrong, the Minako that hated to lose, not
fear it. Rei couldn't deny it, she had been lonely and she was looking for a friend, and she had hoped
she would find one in Minako, but it turned out Minako needed someone too. One person had to
be strong for all of them in this time of crisis...
"It might as well be me," Rei thought further steeling herself and her eyes flashed briefly
with the desire to be strong.
Reaching over tentatively to not startle Minako she touched the tip of the collar of Minako's
leather jacket, and with the most tenderest of movements slowly started moving the jacket aside.
Facing her Minako's jacket's left shoulder started slipping off. The T-shirt alone that Minako wore
was baggy enough around her torso so that Rei could see how she was...overcome with this
feeling to protect and destroy at the same time, and she wrapped Minako loosely into a hug,
as if she could at least squeeze Minako's problems out from her.
Minako at first her heartbeat jumped at Rei's subtle touch, and she even tried to
push her away, but having not eaten anything at all since she had gotten Usagi's
phone call had drained away any resistance left in her limbs. To struggle was futile
so she learned to relax in the comfort of someone. She felt vulnerable and she believed
that if Rei was anyone else for that matter she wouldn't have cared, but only Rei
could invoke such a feeling out of her...one that ripped through her consciousness
like a flare.
It saddened Rei to feel Minako push against her, not because Minako refused to
try to be comforted, but it was the fact that Minako didn't even have the strength
to push her away at all. Rei realized with startling efficiency that she was stronger
than Minako now, she was responsible for everyone else, and the odd satisfactory
feeling in the pit of her stomach scared her, because it was like she was taking joy
in Minako's pain, like she loved to see Minako defenseless. No, she loved to see her
ruthless, so why was she enjoying Minako being so dependent on her? Sighing softly,
Rei pushed those thoughts aside, and watched the birds above Minako's head fly away,
carefree and careless.
"You know it's not a problem right? I just didn't eat anything at all these last few couple
of days that's why I look...I act like this, right?" Minako asked quietly her words gently blowing
on the creamy skin at the base of Rei's neck.
Rei hesitated at that swallowing gently as she knew what Minako asked of her. She was
asking her to lie, to forget that she even noticed, forget that she knew, and forget that there
even was a problem. Minako felt the instinctive tightening of Rei's arms around her and the
quickening of her breath.
"I'm fine, Rei. It's just a phase...trust me, I'm all right. A few missed meals doesn't
make a difference," Minako said comfortingly, lying through her teeth.
At that Rei stiffened at Minako's touch and she hurriedly stepped away from Minako
anger again flashing in her eyes. Minako stumbled back at the pain she also saw in those
eyes wondering what she had said wrong.
"R-Rei?" Minako finally stuttered surprised at how much she let go of her voice.
"No! Don't say that you're okay because you're not! You have a problem and you need
to realize that....I thought you cared...or at least acknowledged that I cared about you. I'm
not going to start a lie for you again, not ever. I was a fool to think you'd listen to me, and you
even had the audacity to lie to me! To my face!" Rei spat feeling like she was on the midst of an
implosion.
She couldn't breathe in the same air as Minako anymore, couldn't take the sight of Minako's
pale and clammy frame anymore, and she didn't know if she could ignore that wounded look
in Minako's eyes anymore. So she turned and ran. She had never run away before ever since
she was a child and they had announced her mother's death to her, she had run away, because
she couldn't take it. Like that time, and many more, she was running from the people she loved.
And briefly just briefly Rei wondered why she had been on the verge of believing Minako. Minako
had almost made her believe that she was all right, that it was just a phase, but the feel of Minako's
body against hers, provided the undisguised truth that she needed to break free, but why? Why did
she try to lie for her?
"Because only fool's believe...."
then she was a fool for all she knew, for all her life, after everything had come and gone, she was
still a fool, because she believed....