Inner Struggles of a Man in Love

Ron knew in his heart that he loved Hermione, but the idea of telling her so was utterly frightening. He had decided that if he just kept working and she was away for a while, he'd gain some courage. He wrote her letters practically every day, though he never sent any of them. Ron was not as courageous as he had hoped to become and Harry often urged him to just tell Hermione that they should start a serious relationship, but Ron was afraid, as always, that he just wasn't good enough.

The ginger haired young man sighed as he returned to the Burrow with Harry. His best friend was loyal to him, of course, but lately he had shown more concern for Hermione's feelings than for Ron's. Ron couldn't really blame him, however, as Hermione had always been steadily loyal to Harry as well. And she was a girl, after all.

"How was seeing the girls?" Mrs. Weasley asked the boys as they entered the kitchen. She was preparing dinner for all of her sons and Harry as Charlie had come in for a few days and she was clearly pleased.

"Alright," Ron mumbled, taking a seat behind her.

"Spectacular," Harry replied, shooting Ron a questioning look.

"Are you and Hermione still carrying on, then?" the matriarch asked.

"No…we're just not talking."

Harry cleared his throat uncomfortably at the look Ron's mum turned on him. "You need to talk to that girl about your feelings, Ronald Bilius Weasley, or you'll lose her."

"Mum…can we not discuss this?"

Mrs. Weasley sighed heavily, taking pity on her son's disparaging facial expression. "Just owl her sometime. It'll probably help the situation. She probably feels as if you don't even care."

"Why is everyone so concerned about what Hermione feels?" Ron asked Harry once they were out of earshot of his mother.

"Because you're pretty much telling her to bugger off until you can get your act together," Harry replied, a bit testy. "I know you don't want to hear this, but Hermione's not as strong as you think. She cried for ages when you walked away from the tent. I can't imagine how she's getting along as she waits for you to want her again."

"I want her now, but it's a bit more complicated than sweeping her off of her feet, now isn't it? We can't all be Harry Bloody Potter!" Ron raged, stomping off toward his room. Harry was a bit shocked, but kicked himself mentally. He and Ginny had just come together and he know Ron was trying to work out how he could carry on a more than friendly relationship with the girl that had been their best friend for the past eight years, but Ron was making things more complicated than they really were."

"I just don't want to disappoint her," Ron said when Harry entered the attic bedroom nearly an hour later. "We'll be apart for a while and I'm rubbish at keeping up with things unless they're right in front of me. And she could probably find a bloke at Hogwarts who was interested in her now…and…well…and she'd lose interest in me…in us."

"You know she's not like that," Harry pointed out."

"But I couldn't stand the off chance that it would happen."

Harry paused, swallowing hard. "You could try to owl her and ask to see her again. You two could meet up more often in Hogsmeade or something like that," he suggested.

"I don't know how you're finding all this time to write Ginny and see her. You're in auror training for Merlin's sake. I'm so busy at the shop most times that I can't even remember to change my socks."

Harry held his nose playfully. "You should check them now, mate."

Ron tossed a ball of parchment at Harry, who ducked it laughing. "I just…I don't know. What if we don't work out? Things would never be the same and it would be my fault."

"Ron, you shouldn't be so pessimistic. You can't tell what'll happen until you try," Harry told him. "And I really don't think the three of us would separate completely if you and Hermione couldn't get along…we've been together for eight years now!"

"That's different…if we got married, had kids and all…then just broke up? That would be hard on the family and our friendship."

"You can manage," Harry told him confidently.

"I don't know."

"Would you rather let her go and settle for less than love or do you want to see where your feelings take you?"

"You sound like a girl, Harry."

"Shut it or I'll tell you things about your sister!"

Ron wrinkled his nose. "Let's go get some dinner."

All through the meal and conversation afterward, Ron's mind was on Hermione. He really wanted to take Harry's advice and ask her for another chance, but he was still afraid to let go. He pulled out a quill and parchment and began to write out all his feelings for her, just to get them out. 'I can't send this…I'd never live it down,' he thought to himself. Before he could scrap it, however it was confiscated by George.

"What are you doing? Give me back that letter!" Ron said, getting to his feet.

"Not a chance. You're going to send this to your bookworm and get it over with…it's been long enough."

"GEORGE!!!!" Ron yelled, rushing forward in an attempt to stop his brother from tying the letter to Pig's leg. Charlie hit him with a body bind spell, however and he was powerless to do anything other than watch as Pig flew out the window into the night. Ron's heart raced, wondering what would happen now that he had lost control. The only thing he was certain about was the pain he would inflict upon his brothers for sending Hermione that letter.