Author's Note:
I keep meaning to mention it and forgetting. The title of this is actually based off the song, and sharing the same name, by Skillet.
John slept for three hours before groaning, his neck protesting to the position he picked to fall asleep in. He sat up slowly and rubbed at his eyes. "Sorry..." His voice was still rough with sleep and after a few moments he slumped back against his husband. After a quick yawn he locked his eyes on the water. Nothing. What is it now? Going into day four? He had lost count, focusing more on food and making sure everybody was all right. "How are you?"
While John slept, Sherlock looked over the camp. There were a lot of things inefficient, that could run smoothly if they were tweaked a bit. However, he couldn't say anything to his husband could he? John had already felt threatened by him. He frowned in thought. Two years ago, that wouldn't have mattered. Now… His thoughts dispersed when he heard his husband talking. "I am fine. Did you get enough sleep?"
Sleep. Had he even slept comfortably since they had crashed? "Yeah, of course," John lied smoothly, turning his head to place a soft kiss on Sherlock's shoulder. It was still dark outside so he hadn't slept too long, a thought that made him frown. He wasn't going to be very efficient on the next day's hunt. "Anything interesting you saw while I napped?" He looked up at his husband and smiled softly, a hand moving to twirl the long strands of hair around his fingers.
"Mmm, you should try to get more sleep." Sherlock looked John over thoughtfully before he shrugged. "Not really. Just some rocks, sand, and a lot of water." He smirked at his husband a bit. Never too soon to make jokes right? "Just another quiet night, I'm sorry." Probably not the news John would want but really, did his husband expect anything?
John chuckled and shrugged, chewing at his bottom lip. "Not much different from every other night, really. Didn't expect it to be any different," he said softly as he lifted Sherlock's coat up, leaving his bare back exposed. He didn't care, though. It was warm and despite its dip in the sea water, it still smelled like his husband. It was comforting, something to take his mind off of everything. "Camp is talking about us," he finally muttered, glancing at Sherlock.
"People do little else, even when in situations like these." Sherlock shrugged again. "Does it…bother you?" It didn't matter to him, but John was a little more sensitive to things like that. Frankly, he had expected it. Considering they couldn't keep their hands off each other for more than a few hours. Even if they were fighting, especially if they were fighting. Fights always seemed to result in something sexual. Not that he was complaining, it had merely been an observation on his part.
Did it bother John? At some point he figured it would. Hell, Kelly and Kevin were married and nobody was talking about them. They had just finished their honeymoon, Sherlock was attractive...what was he supposed to do? Just stop any touching at all because they were on an island? He shrugged. "Not really. Just don't see the point in gossiping about us. We are a couple, married even, it is natural to be intimate. I wish they would just keep their business to themselves and let us be," he muttered, eyebrows drawn together.
"John, there is no point to gossip. They just need something to make them feel normal, probably." Sherlock shrugged a bit and then gave his husband a sideways hug. "I thought maybe it would upset you, is all. In the past…it would have…" He trailed off, hoping this wasn't heading for another fight. Because God, he was sick of fighting.
It would have upset John in the past, there was no doubt about it. "Yeah, it would have," he said softly before looking at his husband. "'M going to go wash up real fast." He stood slowly, draping Sherlock's coat over his husband's shoulders before wandering away. Why did Sherlock have to bring it up? Yes, he would have been upset in the past. In the past, Sherlock wouldn't even be in a bloody relationship but he wasn't bringing that up at all. He moved into the small inlet and splashed his face several times with the water, running a hand across his stomach to clean up their earlier activities.
Sherlock frowned as he watched John leave. He had upset his husband anyway, hadn't he? He sighed at his thoughts. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut? Always had to be clever and say something, didn't he? His thoughts were interrupted when he heard screaming. Thomas. He stood up quickly, the coat dropping to the ground and went to the boy's shelter. Thomas was curled in a little ball, crying. He frowned. He knew that haunted look. The boy had a nightmare. "Hey. It's over now. Everything is fine." Comforting John after a nightmare was one thing, but he had no idea how to go about it with a child with whom he was barely acquainted. Thomas didn't even seem to realize Sherlock was there.
Was that screaming? John sprinted from the inlet and stumbled into camp, looking around before he noticed Sherlock had moved. His husband was in the boy's shelter and...comforting him? Oh. Nightmare. He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax, hands on his hips as he glanced out at the water for a moment. If he could toss his emotions aside then he could go and help Sherlock, comfort Thomas like the Dad he said he was earlier. But going near Sherlock made him tense for some reason, made him want to shout. Sod it. He moved away, heading toward the shore.
John's movements caught his attention and Sherlock watched his husband, the frown on his lips deepening. Yep. John was certainly annoyed with him again. He sighed, turning his attention back to Thomas. What else could he say? The boy was being completely unresponsive. None of those stupid books he had read on parenting gave him tips on how to deal with something like this. Should he try tactile comfort? Depending on how traumatized the boy was, that could end up back firing on him completely. So much for being a genius and knowing everything. He had absolutely no clue what to do right now.
John watched his husband curiously before moving from the shore toward the shelter. The least he could do would be to help Thomas. He moved beside the boy and shifted him to sit up, leaning against John's chest. "It's all right," he whispered softly, his hands rubbing up and down the boy's arms. "Deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth, yeah? Just be calm. Think about something happy.. London." He closed his eyes for a long moment, doing the exact same thing.
Sherlock moved to the side. John made it look so easy and effortless. He was never going to be able to make it as a father, was he? He couldn't even do something simple like comfort a child. On top of that, he couldn't even be a proper husband because all he seemed to do lately is piss John off. He was pretty much useless at this point, so he decided to leave. His husband didn't want him around anyway, did he? He sighed, stood up and walked back to the shelter to sulk.
Thomas finally began calming down, pressing his face into John's chest until he noticed that Sherlock was leaving. He looked back up to John. "Why does he look so sad?"
John studied Sherlock for a long moment and licked his lips, clearing his throat as he looked down at Thomas. "We just had a little row," he muttered softly as he ran a hand soothingly through the boy's hair. "It happens a lot but we are adults. We will figure it out." He smiled down at Thomas and then looked back up at his husband. Shit. He had really made a mess of things, hadn't he? "Are you all right, then? I...I need to go talk to Sherlock." He smiled a bit.
Thomas nodded slowly. "I think so." He didn't think he would be able to sleep again. It was too scary. "Can I go play on the beach?" There wasn't a lot to do, but throwing stones out into the water always made him feel better.
Sherlock had sat down against the shelter, his head leaned against it and his eyes shut. They had been doing so well by the end of their honeymoon and now…they couldn't seem to stop fighting. Would this insanity ever end?
"Yeah, of course." John smiled a bit and ruffled through Thomas's hair. "Just don't go too far." He stood up slowly, moving toward their shelter and picking up his husband's coat on the way. "Here, it is getting cold out." He slipped the coat on over Sherlock's shoulder. He slipped his own boxers on and sat down beside his husband. "I got a little annoyed because...because I thought you thought I was upset that people were talking...that it was bothering me. It doesn't, you know? It doesn't at all because I am proud to call you my husband. I really am. I don't want you too ever think I am embarrassed that people talk about us." He finally looked over at Sherlock and shrugged.
Sherlock lifted his head and opened his eyes when he heard John approach. Right. He had figured that much out on his own. He managed a small smile and he nodded. "Yeah…chose my words poorly." He was quiet moment. "Just goes to show I am terrible at being married and just now with Thomas, obviously not cut out to be father. I don't know I think I can be…" He trailed off, looking away. The feeling of being defeated didn't happen often and it was damn near crushing him now. Why couldn't he be cocky and arrogant about those things, like everything else?
"No. Sherlock, no. Don't even go there." John shook his head and studied his husband for a long moment. "You are amazing with Amy. So amazing. You talk to her and entertain her and take care of her. You're a wonderful father." He paused and smiled a bit. Good, they were talking. Talking was what they needed. "And you are the greatest husband anybody could ask for. You talk to me, support me, comfort me." He leaned forward and gave his husband a small kiss on the cheek. "Please don't ever think you are horrible at being part of a family. You are doing so well." Negative thinking would tear anybody apart and for Sherlock, a man who was always so positive and confident, it would never be a good thing.
Sherlock looked up at John. Maybe his husband was right. "I…still have room for improvement. I will do better. I swear to you on Amy's life, I'll get better John." He fell silent again, realizing what he had just said. Christ, would that upset his husband too? He had never made a promise like that before and he wasn't sure if it had been appropriate now. He had just wanted John to know that was going to strive to be a better husband and father.
"Quite the promise," John whispered with a smile. On top of that, his husband has used her given name over the nickname. "I believe you will. I know you will get better. No doubt about it." He shifted and moved to give Sherlock a slow kiss, exhaling shakily against his husband's cheek. "I believe in you, Sherlock Holmes," he whispered softly before smiling against his husband's lips.
Sherlock smiled. He wrapped his arms around John, to pull his husband closer. He rested their foreheads together. "I love you." He kissed his partner's lips, making it slow but passionate. "I love you," he repeated and then continued the kiss. If people were going to talk, then they might as well give them something to talk about.
It could never be repeated enough times that Sherlock was an absolutely amazing kisser. John moaned softly and moved to pull Sherlock. Just snogging, he told himself with a small snort. Right. They could never stop. Sherlock was far too attractive for him to just pull away from. What really made him grin, made his heart beat a little faster, was that his husband had said 'I love you' twice. He had never done that. He whimpered into Sherlock's mouth and wrapped his arms tightly around his husband.
Sherlock smirked, he was rather pleased with himself right now. He moved with John easily, pressing into his husband despite having gotten off only a few hours before. He would have continued the kissing but Thomas had come up and was staring at them.
"Do all grownups kiss like dat?" The boy's eyes were wide, as he watched Sherlock and John with the utmost curiosity
The...Hell? John pulled away from the kiss with a small gasp, panting as he studied Thomas. Damn kid. He licked his lips and closed his eyes for long moment. "Yes, they do," he said breathlessly, his hand curling against his husband's bare back. They would probably have to stop now with Thomas being all curious. He had completely forgotten about the little boy. "What happened to throwing rocks in the ocean?" He asked softly, not bothering to move from under Sherlock. He rather liked the position.
Sherlock raised his eyebrows, the smirk returning to his lips. He thought about trying to explain it to Thomas but then he remembered it probably wouldn't be age appropriate. Also, he wasn't this kid's dad…so who was he to say anyway?
Thomas furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "But…never seen other adults do it…" He shrugged at the question. "Tryin' to skip 'em and it not working. I quit."
"Lots of adults do this," John said with a small nod, happy that he had finally caught his breath. "Thomas, can we have a bit of privacy? Sorry mate, Sherlock and I...we just need some time alone, yeah?" His hips lifted up slightly on their own. God, this was the worst time to be extremely aroused. "How long has it been since you went and washed up in the inlet?"
Oh God. Sherlock bit his lip as John moved up into him, so he wouldn't moan. His body did squirm reflexively into the man below him though.
Thomas dropped his head. Had he done something wrong to get sent away? He walked away muttering and kicking at the ground, as he disappeared toward the inlet.
John should have cared that Thomas was clearly upset, that the little boy just wanted to be around people. But Sherlock was squirming into him and it felt wonderful. "Sh-Sherlock," he whispered into his husband's ear. Not again. If they wanted to hold out until they had fish oil then they couldn't keep this up. He turned and gently met his husband's lips. Snogging. Just snogging.
Well, that was rather easy to get rid of Thomas. Was this one of things he should care about? Sherlock was distracted easily and readily from his thoughts when John started kissing him. He returned it immediately. They were supposed to shag tomorrow with the fish oil but here and now was more alluring to him at the moment, and he continued to grind into his husband.
Okay. Grinding. Shit. John moaned softly and forced his hips to still. "L-Later," he muttered the best he could manage, stumbling over his words. He could hardly focus, couldn't stop his hips from lifting marginally. That wasn't a very convincing argument at all. "Fish oil. F-Fi-" He tensed and slammed his head back into the sand as he tried to stay still. Damn it.
Sherlock continued to squirm into the man below him but a commotion coming from where Thomas had gone off too met his ears. Damn it. Couldn't that boy be left alone for more than two minutes? The commotion continued, sounding more frantic now followed by Thomas screaming for help. Of course. Well, they were going to have to wait until tomorrow after all. "If he is just doing this for attention," he muttered and finally got off of John.
John got to his feet immediately, darting toward the inlet. "Thomas!" He was sprinting now, trying to find the little boy. "Thomas!" What could he have gotten into? The water wasn't horribly deep and there wasn't much else around. "I'm coming! Just...Thomas!" He darted between a few trees before sliding to a stop and looking frantically around the washing area.
Right. Now wasn't the time to stand around and mutter. Sherlock ran after John and frowned at the scene they found.
Thomas was on the ground crying. There was a dead snake next to the boy, and a large thick stick in his hand. He had probably used it as a club. His ankle was swollen from being bit, probably from the snake. "Don't wanna die!" He wailed miserably, constantly looking from his ankle to the snake.
Sherlock picked up the snake and pressed the roof its mouth. No venom came out. Not poisonous, that was a relief. John would probably know how to take care of the boy better than he did, so he stayed out of the way. He thought about throwing it away but then realized it could be used for meat and possibly other uses, so he held onto it now.
"Shhh. Calm down, Thomas." John looked up at Sherlock for a moment before moving to rest on his knees in front of the boy, gently pulling the stick away. "It is all right." He turned to Sherlock and smiled a bit. "Hold on to it. Dinner," he whispered before turning back to Thomas. "How about I take care of that for you, yeah?" He moved and dipped his hands in the water, rubbing it into the small wounds he found. "Good job, Thomas. You got some dinner for us," he said proudly.
Sherlock nodded at John. "I will go back to camp and try to make a comfortable spot for the kid." There wasn't anything else he could at this point.
Thomas made a face. "Snake...for dinner?" He had managed to stop crying, but he still sniffled. "Dunno why it bit me...didn't do nuffin to it...just wanted to get it offa me so I kept hitting it..."
"It's all right. It was a wild animal, Thomas. Sometimes they do that." He smiled warmly and moved to ruffle the boy's hair. "C'mere, let's get you back to camp." He moved and put an arm under the boy's knees and another tightly around his shoulders before picking him up. Not too heavy. "It is going to be all right, I promise. We will get some leaves on there to cover the little cuts and then you will be set," he came into camp and looked at his husband warmly, standing on his toes for a moment to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, dear," he muttered as he set Thomas down and moved to grab a few leaves from under their shelter.
Sherlock had found some bigger, fresher leaves and made a pile with them. He then laid his coat over the leaves. It was the best he could do under their current circumstances. He smiled at John. "Do you think the boy would like a trophy? Thinking of stringing the teeth on vine. Little boys like that, don't they?"
Thomas nodded, still sniffling. "Not gonna die then?"
"No, of course you aren't going to die," John said with a small laugh as he finally made Thomas comfortable before standing up. He turned to Sherlock with a soft smile and grinned, laughing a bit. "If you can manage to get them all off, yeah. Some are a bit small, I imagine. I dunno, we could skin it before we cook it? He would like that, too." He moved forward and wrapped one arm around his husband, giving him a soft kiss. "You are better at this fathering thing then you think."
Thomas nodded. "Gonna sleep," he muttered. He had worn himself out after beating wildly at the snake to get it off of him.
"Should be able to get them out. Yeah, maybe he would..." Sherlock shrugged and then looked up to John. "You think so? Sometimes I seem to be doing fine and others...I just feel lost..."
"Just fine. I promise." John smiled a bit and studied Thomas. "Sherlock...we should look into..." He cleared his throat and glanced back at his husband. "What is he going to do when we are rescued?" When. He had to keep it positive. "We should look into adopting him." There, it was out. He had been considering it since the boy had admitted he'd never had a father. He didn't see why they would just leave him after he had so obviously gotten attached to them.
What? Where the hell had that come from? "I am sure he has a family waiting for him back home that would probably protest two strangers adopting their son, grandchild, nephew, or whatever." Sherlock wasn't opposed to the idea necessarily, it had just caught him off guard. Were they ready for that kind of responsibility?
"He doesn't have a Dad," John said softly as he studied the sleeping boy with a bit of a frown. "His Mum, no offense to the dead, sounded horrid. I mean, I could ask if he's got family that he sees but...he is from Cardiff and I, oh I don't know, I just..." He shrugged and finally looked at Sherlock. There was a slim chance of them actually having another child unless either of them cheated, something he was keen to never do again. "Look at him. He is so attached to us."
"We can try, but it may or may not work out. So, be ready for that okay?" Sherlock smiled and leaned their heads together. "I know he has Love. He has grown on you too, I saw you with him over at the fire. Little Sandi can have a big brother. That...that would be good." He gave John a small kiss on the nose.
God, he loved little moments like this when Sherlock wanted to just be close to him and did adorable little things like kiss his nose. "I think it will," John said softly, his eyebrows knitted together as he tried to think. Fire? "Oh, when I tickled him," he said with a low chuckle, wrapping his arms tightly around his husband's lower back. "He would be so protective of Amy when they are older. It would be...endearing."
"Older brothers do tend to be protective of their younger siblings." Sherlock smirked a bit. He wrapped his arms around John. "I love you." He leaned down and kissed his husband on the lips gently. This was nice. He would never get tired of just holding onto John.
John smiled against Sherlock's lips like an idiot. How could he not? They had just agreed to expand their little family, to take care of another child. "I love you, too," he whispered as his arms tightened around his husband's torso. "Can you keep holding me?" The question was soft, a bit hesitant. They didn't usually ask each other things like that but he couldn't help it.
"Of course my Love." Another kiss on the nose. "I wasn't planning on letting go anyway." Sherlock smirked a bit as he drew John closer. Things seemed to be getting better between them and that made him happy. He didn't want this moment to end anytime soon, except he could see the sun starting to rise which meant people would be waking up soon and chores would need to be done.
John immediately buried his face into his husband's chest, closing his eyes. For a moment he could pretend they were back in their flat, could pretend that when he opened his eyes Mrs. Hudson would be there smiling at them and saying something utterly ridiculous. When his eyes opened he felt his heart lurch because, damn it, there the island was. Everywhere. Water and sand and the bloody sun. "The moment we get back to the flat I am shagging you. I don't care where."
Sherlock smiled, resting his chin on the top of John's head. Despite how things had turned out he was enjoying this moment with his husband. He smirked at what John said. "Damn right we will." God, shagging. He missed it already. How had they gone a month without it before? He could hardly wait for tomorrow, well today now really. They would have fish oil soon and he didn't give a damn if the whole island heard them.
"Going to pin you to the couch, bend you over," John whispered with a bit of a smirk. "Fuck you until you can't walk straight." He grinned and closed his eyes. There. Now he could work his husband up, have a bit of fun, and get ready for the day. "Just think...fish oil. Need to find a shell to collect it all," he muttered as an after thought. "Want to do that while I take Thomas and Kevin to check the traps? Make sure it is big, I want to feel you but I want to continue with my daily life." He laughed softly and moved his head, meeting Sherlock's lips in a languid kiss.
The words made Sherlock squirm a bit. God, he wanted to shag now damn it. "I can find one. After hunting we can shag then? We could work on the shelters after that?" He returned the kiss eagerly, nipping lightly at John's bottom lip. Today was going to be good, better than yesterday. It had to be.
"We have to wait until lunch. Can't get the oil until we cook it," John said with a soft smile. God, he was so ready. Apparently Sherlock was, too. Nipping at his lips, squirming against him. If this didn't happen soon they might both go crazy. "After lunch we can find a spot on the other side of the island. Isn't too big. We will be fine." He reached between them, his hand stopping just below Sherlock's belly button. He grinned against his husband's lips and pulled away, grabbing his shorts and slipping them over his boxers.
Of course they would have to wait until after lunch. Sherlock sighed at the thought but nodded. Soon. The day should go by fast since they would constantly be doing something. Not a lot of idle time in a survival camp that relies on the daylight. He finally released his husband. "I can't wait to shag you." God, just thinking about it was making him hard.
Calm. John couldn't help the small shiver that ran through his body at the thought. They hadn't shagged in almost five days. He was ready to have that type of intimacy with his husband again. "You can work on the shelters today if you want. I am going to hold off on taking Thomas hunting. But the snake and some fish for dinner should be good." He smiled softly. He needed to focus on everything else before his thoughts swayed to his husband. He couldn't go there just yet.
Sherlock nodded. He would need to wait for more daylight before he should try working on the shelters. So, what should he do in the meantime? He thought about exploring the island, it wasn't that big after all. He had only investigated the camp, and the area to and from the inlet. He might be able to find something of use. He looked over to John, he should probably tell his husband what he was up to. "I am going to look around the island until the sun is a little higher in the sky."