We all entered the room. It was filled with various bits of machinery, as well as quite a few boxes, cardboard or otherwise. My bed and I were set down in front of one of the boxes, a rather tall wooden one. It actually resembled a podium now that I looked at it more. The man walked over to stand behind it.

"Now, don't mind the mess in here, our last set of self-inserts were quite rowdy. Now, I have some informational pamphlets here for your convenience. Now, they will tell you everything you need to know about your stay here on the wonderful Self-Insert Island!" He paused his speech for a moment. "Now, I'm passing them out now!" He didn't actually pass them out, he threw them at us instead. I didn't catch mine, neither did the blonde. The other two did though. I scrambled for mine, which was right next to me. But I only figured that out a while later.

The pamphlet was a nice shade of pink, with images of various pirate ships in a collage. The title was "Self-Insert Company: One Piece Branch". I opened it, and commenced reading the fancy text.

"Long ago, the original self-inserts, Raven Star Celeste Diana Robinson Heart Bea'uty Neko, Mary Sue, and Caramolee Shininglight decided to create a place where others of their kind could be initiated into fictional worlds in peace. With the combined strength of their wills and powers, the three gorgeous women brought forth the first branch of the Self-Insert Company. This branch was located at the converging point of the many thousands of fictional worlds. This effort killed all but one of them, Caramolee. The two that gave up their lives for the sake of others were celebrated as heroes for the rest of eternity.

Caramolee led this first branch extremely well. So well, that it was soon overcrowded by millions of self-inserts. This overload of people caused all the portals to malfunction, cutting off all new self-inserts from their desired fictional adventures. This was a dark time for everyone, as it lasted almost an entire week. To end the horror, Caramolee used her magic powers to cut the first branch into infinite pieces, sending them all over the multiverse. Each piece eventually became the many branches of the Self-Insert Company that we see today. Caramolee now resides in the last piece of the original branch left in the Convergence, immortal because of her sacrifice and beauty.

Today, as you read this pamphlet, you are carrying on the will of the three originals, and countless other self-inserts. We know that you will do great things for this cause. Turn the page for information on your specific branch."

I raised my eyebrow after reading all this. It was quite interesting to know, but not that useful. I turned the page, and resumed reading.

"The One Piece branch of the Self-Insert Company manifests itself as an island on the Grand Line. There are many wonders here, like pirates and Devil Fruits. Though this world is run by lawlessness, there are still a few rules every self-insert must follow:

No breaking the fourth wall

No mentioning the Self-Insert Company or any of its affiliates

No talking about future events

No eating moose droppings"

I read these rules over a few times, sneezing between each reading. The first three seemed reasonable enough, but again with the moose droppings? Who would eat those anyway?

"Failure to comply with these rules will make something bad happen, so follow them!"

Okay…?

"Procedures upon arriving upon this island:

You will be welcomed by one of our senior self-insert staff

You will be given this pamphlet

You will be taken to the preparation room to be given all resources pertaining to your health and safety while travelling with us

You will be assigned a crew to travel with and sent to the meeting spot via teleporter"

I knew pretty much all of that except for the teleporter part. But I guess that was how all self-inserts get where they need to go. That pretty much concluded everything useful in the pamphlet. The rest was terms and conditions. I then sneezed.

The others had also finished reading by then.

"Those terms and conditions were really boring!" said the red-head. Wait, she read all that already?

The black-haired girl nodded curtly in agreement. She read them too? Huh?

The man clapped his hands. "Now, to the preparations room!"

The person who had carried my bed into the room picked it up again and carried it to the preparations room. This room was actually very orderly, with large machines along the walls and a small table at the end. The table had some high-tech looking box on top of it.

The man gestured for us to stop, then walked over to the table. "Now, this box is one of the most high-tech items on this planet. Now, it enables us to download everything you need to know for your adventure into your mind. Now, who's first!"

Without allowing us to volunteer, he told the blonde to put the box on her head. She shrugged, and put it on. I saw her shiver, then she took it off. Something looked strange about her, kinda like she had seen the Truth or something.

The red-head went after her, returning with the same look. I went next.

I put the box over my head, it felt really weird, almost like there was a fuzzy octopus tickling you inside. I felt the feeling go straight through my nostrils, and out through my ears. A string of images and words went through my head. It almost overwhelmed me, but not quite. I felt a few years older after going through that. No wonder the two who went before me looked so weird.

The man took the box from my shaky hands, and tapped a few buttons. But instead of handing it to the black-haired girl, he handed it to my bed.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked shakily. I couldn't think that well after that whole ordeal.

"Now, giving your bed the information it needs of course!" I stared at him blankly, not really comprehending. "Now, you didn't know that beds are sentient on the Grand Line?" I stared. "Now, Robin taught me to read Poneglyphs on my journey, and I saw it on one:

The sleeping spots from the land of our great creator are given minds of their own for their diligence.

Now, that's what it said!" I stared again.

By then, my apparently sentient bed had finished. It didn't look any different though. Maybe beds were made of tougher stuff than mere humans.

Much weirdness, yes? But on a more important note, everyone is getting their Devil Fruits next chapter! But I can't decide which one to give the main character! I have a few in mind, they are listed below. Leave a review/PM about which one you would like to see, or if you have a good idea that's not on the list, feel free to elaborate, 'kay?

Choices (In English, because why not?):

Bug-Bug Fruit, Model: Den Den Mushi (Zoan: User turns into a regular Den-Den Mushi, and has the abilities of one)

Water-Water Fruit (Logia: User can turn into water as well as create unlimited amounts of it. Standard Devil Fruit weaknesses still apply)

Color-Color Fruit (Paramecia or Logia: User can create and manipulate rainbows)

Fish-Fish Fruit, Model: Mudskipper/Flying Fish/Blob Fish (Zoan: User can turn into a fish. Standard Devil Fruit weaknesses still apply)

Lizard-Lizard Fruit, Model: Iguana (Zoan: User can turn into an iguana)

Note: I have some entertaining ideas for the ones that would seem overpowered... (Let's just say the sea devil has a sense of humor.)

Edit: Just added another fruit as well as descriptions.