Chapter 4: The Sleep Over

Jacob had me in his arms, carrying me to my room. It was 1:30am, and we had been up for the past 4 hours, talking in the living room.

I woke up, right when he had walked into my room with me. Jacob saw me stir, and froze, not wanting to wake me.

"Hey there, Sleepy Head" he whispered.

"Oh. Hey Jake. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"I tried to get out of his grasp, and apologize for passing out on him, but he cut me off before I could finish.

"Don't worry about it, Nessie. I don't mind." He said, pulling me closer to him, which I didn't mind in the least.

He took me over to my bed, and set me down under the covers. When he turned to leave, I caught his arm, pulling him back.

"Where the hell do you think your going?"

Jacob grinned from ear to ear, and sat down on the edge of my bed. When I got up on my knees, I wrapped my arms around his neck to get him to come further onto the bed. Obediently, he followed.

"So, now that I'm awake, I wanna know how the pack is." I said, sitting down on my pillows and wrapping my arms around my knees.

"Well," He started, his face screwed up in thought, "Claire just had her 7th birthday ( AN- Sorry guys, I haven't the book in a long time, so I don't really remember how old Claire is. If you know, add 4 years to that, and tell me. It would really help and I would really appreciate it ). Quil had gotten her a little stuffed animal wolf. When Claire had opened the present, and seen it, she mimicked Quil's playful growl, and pounced on him. He fell to the ground, with Claire on top of his chest, laughing. It was really cute." Jacob said, rubbing my leg.

I immediately felt bad, for making Jake move. He must really miss everyone there.

Jake used to live in La Push with his dad, Billy. But, after I was born, he was over so much, that now he has his own room for when he stays over. He couldn't stand to be away from me. He always got whiney when the pack needed him, and he was with me. Now, he just promises to be back, and he usually is within the next 24 hours.

Until he left me, that is. But, he promised me that he'll never do it again. He said that he nearly died from having to stay away from me for so long.

"Awww. That is cute. I'm glad she liked it." I said. I didn't want Jake to know how bad I felt about taking him away from his friends. "I'm glad that Claire liked her present. She must really like hanging out with an 18-year-old werewolf ( AN- Like I said earlier, the ages aren't as accurate as I wish they were. If you know the real age of the characters from BD, and then add 4 years, and tell me, I'll give you a special sneak peek at the newest chapter. ). I said, joking around with Jacob. He laughed at my joke, and pulled me into his lap.

I tried to hide the pain of not being able to enjoy what every other child has. I've never had a childhood. For God's sake, I'm 4 and I look like I'm 15! What kind of kid wants to look like they've lived for 15 years, when really, you've only lived 4! Definitely not me. I would trade in the world for the chance to have a real childhood.

It turns out that I didn't do a good job at hiding my pain, and agony. Jacob saw my pout, and immediately there was concern and anxiety in his beautiful, depthless eyes.

He pulled me closer to his chest, and kissed my hair.

"I'm sorry, Nessie. I didn't mean....I..." He struggled to find the right words. But I don't even think he knows what he's sorry about, besides making me sad. But that must be enough of a reason to be sorry for anything.

Finally, he whispered in my ear, running his hand down my back, and across my waist, knowing that in doing so, he can get me to tell him anything.

"What's bothering you, Baby? What did I say?" he asked, truly worried now.

I began to sob lightly. I didn't have the ability to love my childhood. I didn't have one, and it wasn't fair!

"Nessie? Please, what's wrong?" Jacob's voice was pained. I hated hearing his voice shake with pain like this. He shook me lightly.

"Not-t-thing. I-It's just...I ca-ca-cant age at a-all! I n-n-never get t-to e-en-enjoy a chi-child-hood. I HATE BEING A HALF VAMPIRE!" I screamed, pounding the bed with my fists.

I was so infuriated at how even my perfect boyfriend had a childhood, when he was a werewolf.

I couldn't even have friends over to the cottage without the small possibility of Edward or Bella losing control! I could never tell my friends about stupid or funny things that I did when I was little. I never was little. I was little for maybe a day, and I don't even remember that!

I struggled out of Jacob's iron grip on me, and stormed out of the cottage.

When I was about to take off in the woods, a pair of steel arms where around me.

"Nessie, calm down. It's just me." I heard Edward's voice in my ear, gently pulling me away from the edge of the woods.

"Oh Daddy! Why did I have to be born a half vampire?! I want a childhood! I want to be able to tell people about all the funny and stupid things I did when I was two. Why can't I just have a normal life?!" I asked, stamping my foot.

I hated my life. It never seemed to be what I wanted it to be. I wanted so bad to be a normal kid. To be able to go through puberty, to go through kindergarten, and go to the movies with my friends, without the chance of loosing my control on my thirst.

Though it was small, and hardly ever, I still had to hunt. But thanks to Bella, only once a month. And even then, I only had to have about one or two deer.

But that didn't stop my hatred to it.

"I always wondered the same thing, Honey." Edward said, starting to move again, back to the cottage.

"Always wondering why this fate had chosen me. I didn't like it at the beginning. I never did. But, I finally learned to accept the fact that, I could never tell anyone about my secret. Only my one true love. The one person that would change my life forever. That person also just so happened to be Bella. And when the right person comes along, they will accept the fact that you are who you are."

"Nothing you do or he does, or anyone else does, can change that part about you. That person will change your life forever. That person may or may not be Jacob Black. Just because he imprinted on you, doesn't mean that YOU are to love him. It just means that HE has to love you. No matter what he does, he's always gonna love you. Nothing anyone can ever do to change that."

By the time Edward had finished with this little speech of his, we were in sight of the cottage front windows, and I could see Jacob there, in the window, searching the woods for me. When I saw his face, I bolted for the door, ran through it, and crashed into Jacob. I clung to him, crying into his shirt, constantly apologizing for the way I've been acting.

Jacob picked me up, and carried me to my room, never making me let go.

When we got to my room, he set me down, lay down on the bed with me, and allowed me to snuggle up to his side, and fall asleep.

That night, I dreamt that I was a normal girl. Just like Bella when she met Edward. Like when they were in 'Their Meadow' and Edward had proposed his love to her. At the time, Bella was just a completely normal person. Brown hair, brown eyes. 5 foot 5 inches. A natural klutz. Brainiac. I dreamt that, when I met Jacob, I was just like that. Completely normal. Nothing weird about me at all.

Then, all of a sudden, the scene changed, and I was the half vampire that I am now, but this time, the guy in the meadow with me wasn't Jacob.

He was different.

He had beautiful blue eyes, with hints of gold in them. He looked like he was sculpted out of granite. His shirt was wet. I don't know from what, and I didn't care. The cotton clung to his perfectly chiseled body. He looked like a god. His hand was outstretched to me, and when he took a step toward me, he did it hesitantly. As if the wrong move would send me away through the woods again, running away screaming. Or, maybe he was scared of me. Maybe he knew what I was. Either way, that didn't stop his foot...

This confused me, but I didn't bother pondering this feeling much. I don't know why, but it did. I wanted him to afraid that he would scare me off, not afraid of me.

I got my wish.

He smiled at me, showing two rows of perfectly white teeth.

And then it hit me.