TITLE: "Pass the Piper" (4/4)
RATING: AA
CHARACTERS: The Whole Gang and Piper

SUMMARY: Each person gets some quality time with Piper

DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me. They are the property of Aaron Sorkin. They are only being used with what little imagination I have.
TIMEFRAME: Continues from "The Morning After"

***CHARLIE***

I was called in on a crisis between Leo, Toby and the President. I am still not sure what exactly is going on but I do know that I have this little girl sitting behind Mrs. Landingham's empty desk giving me the evil eye.

Maybe I should try and start a conversation. "How are you enjoying your day at the White House?" No response but she kept her eyes on me.

"It must have been pretty exciting to have all these people running around. I think you made a big impression."

Nothing. I hope Josh didn't do anything to her tongue. I got a quick rundown from Margaret about some of the things that had taken place. Toby arrived shortly before I was branded babysitter and he didn't look all that impressed.

I would have given anything though to have seen Josh being puked on. That would have been worth its weight in gold. "Are you thirsty?"

Okay I know this kid can talk. Usually you can't get her to shut up. I leaned across my desk. "Are you okay?"

I think I heard her say yes but I'm not quite sure. "Why don't you want to talk to me?"

"You're evil," she finally spoke up.

What? "I'm what?"

"You're evil," she repeated. Now who would go around saying stuff like that about me?

"Who told you I was evil?"

"Mommy."

"Mommy? I don't even know your-." Oh she wasn't referring to THAT mommy. She was talking about CJ. Now what has this girl gone and done.

"CJ told you I was evil?" Piper nodded. "I'm not evil Piper. Have I ever done anything to you that was mean?"

"No but mommy said peoples need to watch out for you cuz you turns them into a bad word."

Okay now I am completely lost. I have no idea what she's talking about. "I'm not evil Piper. Honestly I'm not. I think you just misunderstood what CJ said."

"You broke my mommy's desk." Okay now it's slowly coming back to me. Now I know what she's talking about.

"She wasted no time in letting you in all the gossip around here I see."

"Huh?"

"I bet your mommy failed to mention how she broke the rules."

Piper shrugged her shoulders. "Ahh. I see. You've got the one sided version. Okay, okay. I can fix that. Let me tell you a story." I wheeled my chair around and pushed myself across the room to where Piper was. I leaned against Mrs. L's desk and Piper stood on her chair and leaned her small body across the desk.

"Okay first off, if she had respected the rules of the schedule none of this would have taken place. See this is how it started…."

I did the best I could in recapping the events that took place that day. Here and there Piper threw in a few wow's and an oh my goodness. It's all good now. I let her know my side of the story.

"Do you still think I'm evil?"

"No. (pause) But I sure hope nobody asks me to gets your schedule."

I winked at Piper. The President opened the Oval Office door and I jumped out of my chair. "Charlie, Piper. I see you two are hard at work. Has she located Bin Laden for us or designed a nuclear bomb yet?"

I chuckled. "Not exactly Sir. I was telling Piper here a story about her mother."

Bartlet gave me the eye. "Don't mess with a little girl's mother Charlie. It's not healthy." Bartlet was about to close the door when he stopped and said, "Especially when the mother is CJ Cregg."

"No its CJ Ziggaler," Piper corrected the President.

"I'm sorry. CJ Ziggaler," the President corrected himself pronouncing Ziegler wrong as Piper did.

"Was there something you needed Sir?"

"What Charlie?"

"Did you need something? You looked like you were coming out for something."

"Ahh yes. The model is it ready?"

"Yes Sir. And I think Abbey is going to love it."

"That's what I'm going for Charlie. Where is it?"

"The model Sir?"

"No Charlie my youth. Of course the model."

"Well Sir I felt that under the circumstances," I cast a glance in Piper's direction and Bartlet followed it. "That it would be best to keep it hidden out of harms way."

The President raised his fingers and turned them into a gun. "Good thinking Charlie. Just for that I might buy you a DVD player."

"Uh Sir you already did."

The President winked at me. "Then I guess I don't have to buy you anything now do I?"

I fell for that one without thinking. The President gave a quick wave to Piper before going back inside. I took a deep breath and then exhaled. I gathered my chair and put it back behind my desk.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Putting my chair back."

"Why?"

"Because it belongs over here."

"How cuz?"

"How come?"

"That's what I's said."

"Do you always ask this many questions?"

"Does you always answer questions with questions?"

"Are you sure you're only three?"

"I'm almost four."

"Do you have ID?"

"What's ID?"

"It's a card with your picture on it."

"Peoples make me draw pictures all the times. Is that ID?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because. ID is something you use to show you are who you are."

"But I knows who I is."

I sighed. "I know you do. But other people like to have proof."

"What's proof?"

"Verification of something."

"Why does you use such big words? I doesn't get half of them."

"Because I'm an adult."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"Does you got proof?"

"Are you challenging me little one?"

"What's challenging?"

"Do you own a dictionary?"

"Does you always ask so many questions?"

I lost to a three year old who couldn't even see over the desk. I had no comeback. I can't believe I got shutdown by a toddler. I stood up and removed my wallet from my back pocket. I fished through and retrieved my driver's license. Then I went over to Detective Piper and placed it down before her.

She casually picked it up and inspected it. She spent a few minutes turning it over and back. "Hmm," she said.

"Hmm what?"

"This looks like you."

"It's supposed to. It is me. I posed for the picture."

"I like your tie."

I took the license back and looked at the tie she was referring to. It was a Bugs Bunny tie that Deanna had given me for father's day. Or Brother's day as she had changed it to.

"Yeah it is a nice tie isn't it?"

"It sure is."

"You're not thinking of puking on the one I'm wearing are you?" I learned early on that anything can happen with kids this small.

"Not unless you feed me lots of junk and then whip me through the air. (pause) Why does you want to?"

"Not really. I'm out of candy and I don't do the child play thing very well."

"Maybe you needs practice."

"No its not that."

"Is you sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive."

"You know what Piper. Let me take a harder look for more candy. There's bound to be some around here somewhere."

"Alright. I'll help you."

I raised my hand in the stop position. "That's alright. I'll look by myself. You just sit here and….sit."

It's official. When I have children I am not going to encourage them to talk.

***CJ***

I was heading to the Oval Office for a staff meeting. As I came around the corner I spotted Piper right away sitting behind Mrs. Landingham's desk. Piper glanced up and a look of surprise came over her face. She jumped down off of the chair and ran to me hugging my legs.

"Hey you," I squatted down and hugged Piper and placed five or six lipstick smeared kisses all over her. I took a look around and realized that she was all alone here.

"Where's daddy? I thought you were supposed to be with him today."

Piper shrugged her shoulders and then took a step back. "Mommy I hasn't been with daddy since I first gots here."

"Why? Who's supposed to be here with you now watching you?"

"Uh," Piper had her finger in her mouth. She removed it and pointed it behind me. "Him." I turned to see she had pointed out Charlie.

"Put your finger down sweetie. It's impolite to point," I gave her another kiss on her forehead and stood up. I swiveled somewhat so that I was in line with Charlie.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Charlie turned his head as though I may be talking to someone behind him. He looked back and pointed to himself. "Yes you Charlie. Now where were you?" I practically shouted at him.

"I went to get Piper candy. She said she wanted candy."

"She doesn't need any candy Charlie. What she needs is supervision. I can't believe you of all people would wander off and leave a child alone."

"It wasn't like I left the building CJ."

"God forbid Charlie. What would you have done if something happened to her?"

Charlie began to stammer. "Nothing was going to happen to her. I was just around the corner. I could still hear her."

"Did you hear or see me Charlie?"

Charlie didn't answer me. "Yeah I thought not. I'm so disappointed in you Charlie. Why is she even with you?"

"Lack of options is my guess."

"I beg your pardon?" I asked narrowing my eyes on him and being serious.

Just then Sam came around the bend whistling. He stopped when he noticed that there was friction in the area. "Did I come at a bad time?"

I said yes and Charlie said no. Leo came up behind Sam. "What's going on?"

Sam turned to Leo. "I'm not sure yet. But I'm guessing with the daggers in CJ's eyes that Charlie has done something wrong."

"Are we sure its Charlie in the wrong or Piper?"

"Charlie," Charlie, myself and even Piper said in unison. Leo nodded his head and continued on to the Oval Office.

"Bring him down later CJ. We've got a meeting in the meantime."

I turned to Leo. "I can't go to this meeting. Piper's here all alone."

Leo glanced at Charlie. "Charlie's in charge of Piper this time."

"He left her all alone (beat) What do you mean this time?"

Leo concentrated on Charlie. "You left her all alone? I specifically asked you not to do that Charlie."

"I was just finding her candy Leo."

Josh was the next to arrive. "Hey guys what's up?"

Sam shifted to see Josh. "I'm not exactly sure. But Charlie left Piper alone to get candy and CJ knows."

"Nice knowing you Charlie," Josh gave him a pat on the back as he kept walking right into the oval office.

"Where's Toby?" I asked Sam.

"I'm right here," my husband came through the corridor.

"Daddy!" Piper took a running jump into Toby's arms. He caught her and swung her up and planted half a dozen kisses on her face. She started giggling and kissed him back.

"Where have you been?"

"Hello to you too CJ. Sam, Leo, Charlie," Toby nodded slightly to each of us the guys.

"We've got to get going guys. The President is waiting," Leo reminded us.

"Well let's not keep him waiting," Toby held Piper and came up to me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and smiled his beautiful smile. "Shall we?"

"You're not bringing her are you?" Sam asked Toby.

"Yes. I'm not leaving her out here. I heard you guys from halfway across this place." We all walked in to join the President while Charlie was left outside on his own. Probably conjuring up a getaway while I was occupied.

I sat down first and Toby sat beside me with Piper on his lap. The President noticed Piper was with us but didn't seem to mind. "Toby can I assume that your day of leisure has come to a closure and that all is now well for this evening?"

Toby slowly nodded his head. "That you can Sir. And before we all begin I'd like to say thanks to those of you who helped take care of Piper."

I was amazed when Leo, Sam and Josh all told Toby he was welcomed. "Uh, you guys all looked after her? Together?"

"No but that probably would have been a wise decision," Josh said as he sat down across from me.

"Why wasn't I told about this?"

"CJ, you were busy. We couldn't very well disturb you of all people," Josh answered sarcastically.

"CJ we didn't think it was wise to have Piper running around the press room," Leo offered.

"Oh, but pass Piper around seemed to make a lot more sense?"

"Yeah. They passed me to everybodys," Piper said to Toby who only hugged her tight.

"They did? That must have been awful?" The President said as if this was the wildest thing he had ever heard of.

"Ah huh."

"Well if you didn't destroy-"

"That'll be enough out of you Josh," Bartlet warned him. "We need to talk about the speech. I think the first thing I have to ask is why in God's name did it take nearly 8 hours for this thing to land in my hands?"

All eyes traveled to Piper who looked around and then asked, "What?"

"Uh Sir we had a problem reading Toby's first draft."

"Come on Sam. You should know his chicken scratch better than anyone."

"I won't argue that Sir. But the grape stains made it slightly more difficult." Sam winked at Piper who blew him a kiss. Sam pretended he caught it and placed it in his pocket. Piper began to giggle.

"Do you two want us to leave?" Josh asked teasing Sam.

"HEY HEY!" Toby shouted out. "Father in the room and will not hesitate to kick your ass."

Josh moved his attention far from Toby. "Grape stains aside it shouldn't have taken this long Sam. Why wouldn't you have used the backup in the computer?"

"Because it was in Toby's computer Sir and Toby wasn't around." Bartlet seemed to accept this.

"You could have easily called me Sam."

"You could have easily left your phone on Toby when I did try calling you oh, the five hundred times I tried."

"Look all I care about now is, is this speech the final one? The one I am going to give later on? Because I don't ant any surprises."

"Yes it's the final draft. No surprises," Toby answered without looking at the President.

"It's nice to see that in the event of a small disaster you fall apart completely rather than piece by piece. That information should come in handy when they time comes."

"No offense Mr. President but Piper Ziegler is far from a small disaster. Armageddon was a small disaster compared to anything this child can do," Josh said.

I threw my leg out at Josh kicking him in the shin. "Ouch," he cried out as he began rubbing it. I sat back and smiled.

"They tells me do stuffs and when I does and I does a good job they gets mad at me," Piper's lip began to tremble and she threw herself against Toby's chest.

Toby caressed Piper's hair and asked, "Who got mad at you?" Piper didn't answer him. "Hey, you can tell Daddy. That way I can go and beat them up."

That got her to sit back up. Abbey had just stepped inside the Oval Office but nobody was paying attention to her. Piper looked at Leo and began to point when she noticed I was watching her. "Leo," she yelled smiling.

"Leo got mad at you?" Toby asked her. Leo looked as if he was just found guilty for murder. Shock and denial all in one.

"I didn't get that mad at her Sir," Leo tried to defend himself with the President who only waved Leo off. He wasn't backing anyone. Leo roamed the room for help. "She put marker on Sam's copy of the speech."

"Who told her to?" All heads turned in Abbey's direction. She was standing against the door with her hands behind her back. Slowly she came further into the room.

"Well Margaret-"

"No Leo it wasn't Margaret. I've already spoken with Margaret. Try again," Abbey wasn't being rude. She seemed to be having fun. We all looked back at Leo.

"Sam-"

Abbey made the sound of a buzzer when one gets an answer wrong. "It wasn't Sam."

"I wasn't even there," Sam protested.

"I was going to say that Sam put the speech on the middle of my desk. On top of papers that I had told Margaret she could give to Piper."

"So when we cut through the bull, you gave her permission to draw on the speech. The paper being there was unknown to you but it was fair game as it was placed in the pile. Right?"

Leo hesitated before agreeing. Josh leaned over to Sam and whispered, "I think she chose the wrong profession. She should have been a lawyer."

"Josh," Abbey called out. Josh gulped and turned to face Abbey. "You were responsible for making the child sick were you not?"

Toby looked into Piper's eyes. "Were you sick baby?" Piper nodded. "Aww my poor baby," he cuddled her closer to him.

"I didn't know she was going to hurl if that's what you're insinuating. I was trying to have fun with her. The poor kid was so damn bored."

"Anyone with half a sense would know that after loading a child up with junk food and then swinging them won't exactly be able to hold it down."

"You gave her junk food?" I kicked Josh again.

"Stop kicking me," Josh cried out as he switched hands from the left leg to the other leg that was currently in more pain.

"Atleast you only gave her candy. Ginger fed her a grape sandwich that wound up smeared on the original speech," Sam said to Josh.

"Oh my heart bleeds for you Sam. You don't have a dozen or so ties all glued to one another now do you?"

I couldn't keep up. When did Ginger get in this? "Oh please. Donna told me she went out and bought you a new one."

"That's the one covered in kiddy puke," Josh shouted. I looked back to see the President behind his desk enjoying the show. He was wearing this big smile and his eyes were bright and full of life.

"Out of curiosity, did either of you actually feed my kid anything that might have stayed in her belly?" Sam and Josh exchanged glances with each other and then Leo.

"Great. So while you guys are running around trying to cover your own asses, nobody stops to think that she might be hungry."

"I gave her food," Josh defended.

"Sugar isn't a substitute for a proper meal Josh. I don't get you guys. You have each taken her for a full day and she comes back to us in one piece, happy and full. Today you spend what? A half hour each and you all act as if you're a few fries short of a Happy Meal."

"I'll take her upstairs to the residence CJ. Zoey is up there and together they can have dinner while you pummel these guys," Abbey smiled as she came around to collect Piper. Toby hadn't let her go yet.

Toby bounced Piper twice. "You're going to go with Nana Bartlet and have something good to eat with Zoey. Doesn't that sound great?"

"Yes. Will you and mommy be coming too?"

"No sweetie. Mommy and Daddy have to go out tonight. Remember we talked about this. Zoey is going to watch you while we're gone."

"I remembers." Toby kissed Piper goodbye and then passed her to me. I gave her a kiss and a hug and told her that I would miss her too.

Abbey picked Piper up and they made their way to the door. Abbey whispered into Piper's ear and then Piper looked over and repeated, "Goodnight you big babies."

Only the President, Toby and I laughed. "I'm hungry too," Sam realized.

"Tough it out Sam. You eat when we all eat. Now, shall we continue this meeting?" Bartlet rose from his chair and walked over.