Reasons
"Then why you married him ?"
She looks at me with confusion in her eyes and I see that she's going to tell me something that I've never heard in my life .
"I was scared … he asked me in the second I woke up after the anesthesia … I was not feeling good … I was scared … I thought you were going to die … I said yes and I could take back my words . I'm so sorry . I made the biggest mistake of my life …I didn't want to marry him … you are the man of my life ! You were the only one I want to marry ! I love you so much …." She starts crying and I took her in my arms . I hug her tightly to me chest . My life is so fucked up actually . The woman of my life told me she shares my feelings … but after she married another guy.
Her eyes are full of fear , seeing that I am quiet . I don't open my mouth to tell a thing because I'm stunned , I'm petrified . I am thinking her statement and I hug her tightly than ever . How could she say yes if she didn't love him ? How ? She was scared … maybe the thing they were together … I don't know what to say ,m it's only mist in my head . My thought are darkened , I cannot think straight . But the way she looks at mew demands an answer .
"You don't love him ?" I ask , finally , after four or five minutes of thinking . I still can make order in my head and this is the first think that appeared in my mind .
"Yes I do .." her answer goes directly to my heart "but only as a friend . Nothing more . And I haven't realized until this moment about what I did … Greg " she looks into my eyes "please forgive me … forgive me …. I love you !"
"Sara , is hard very hard for me , you know ? " I try to smile to warm the atmosphere a little ."I am speechless … this thing is overwhelming . Six days ago , when you ran from the hospital after I told you my feelings …. I thought you hate me , Sara … everything … is so much "
"I know … I know …"
"First of all , I think Grissom needs to know about this " I bit my lower lip "you two have to separate …"
"I can't divorce now …." She whispers into my ear
"What ?Why ? " I am very curious to hear her reasons .
"I can't … it'll broke his heart ! " she gives me this stupid answer .
His heart ? But what , mine is made of steal ? Mine doesn't matter ? We have to sacrifice our happiness for his ?
"What ? he's a big guy … he'll have to live with the fact you don't love him ! Sara , it'll the life of two people you are talking about ! mine and yours ! Just talk to him about this ! "
"I can't … we can be together if you want … "
"But how ? We will have to hide our feelings , to make a secret from this . And" I really hates what she proposed "if he finds out you're cheating on him it'll hurt more , Sara , think !" I an a little mad .
"I don't know … I know I love you …" she approaches her lips to mine "but I am sorry I didn't tell you … I didn't realize until the moment you saved me … " she kisses me . Our first kiss … so powerful … so intense . I am so glad to have her here with me … hell , I hope no one saw us .
"I love you too" I whisper
"What do you think ? You agree ? "
I just nod . I know we started a relation that has no future , no past , just present . And I know that it'll hurt us . But my love for her makes me agree with the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life .