Pain by Three Days Grace
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
The war was over. Soul Society had won, the worlds were saved, Aizen and Espada were extinguished, and everyone was safe, blah... blaaah... blllaaah...
Ichigo certainly felt as if he hadn't won. He was left with an emptiness that he doubted even a Hollow could compete with. Thankfully, he had one close at hand to prove him otherwise. A long winded verbal battle, a brutal beating at the hands of his irate inner albino, and being forced to submit to a different kind of vicious pounding, he finally felt something again.
You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand
His Hollow demanded a name after that, insisting that he wanted to have his name leave Ichigo's lips in a scream, instead of just an incoherent sound, when he made Ichigo feel again, the only way he knew how.
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Their couplings were always the same; brutal, possessive, filled with overbearing lust and that pleasurable burn of agony and ecstasy mixed into one. They would struggle for dominance atop the other, Shirosaki most often winning simply because he inflicted the most pain and Ichigo became too dizzy from the blood loss to protest the blinding pleasure of getting fucked into the nearest flat surface. Occasionally, Ichigo would seize a rare chance to be dominant, when his resolve was strongest and his pain tolerance the highest. Those were the days that his Hollow screamed out his name, his real name.
Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand
How they still hated each other, but they needed one another. Their loathing was still there, just more often replaced by lust in the heated moments, their brief escapes from the plain, numb world that followed after the constant chaos ever since Ichigo had met Kuchiki Rukia. The young teen's secret, guilty pleasure; that he loved fighting- the rush of adrenaline and power that flooded his limbs. His friends never knew, he wouldn't let them think their savior was so close to breaking his restraint and just throwing himself, unarmed, at the next Hollow just to feel a little of that rush again.
But of course his inner Hollow knew his innermost secret desires, and there was always a fight. No matter who won, even though the battles were brutal and destructive to the inner world, there was always an exhausting, mind-numbing struggle that often left bloody gashes as much as bite wounds behind in its wake. It wouldn't matter who claimed victory that day; it would always be left up to the one with the remaining strength to be the Top.
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain
"We can't keep doing this…" Ichigo murmured sleepily, his head resting against Shirosaki's ribcage and eyelids fighting to close as all kinds of exhaustion swamped his body. He swore at the albino when the white form sat up, removing himself from being the orange head's assigned impromptu pillow.
Shirosaki looked down at his King lazily, one eyebrow arched into his forehead and a long cut right above the brow mimicked the motion. "An' why th' fuck not? Ya havin' those damn moral issue shits again?" He asked in a sneer, reaching over to dig his black fingernails into the closest gash on his partner's skin, reveling when Ichigo cursed thickly and his body squirmed indecisively under the painful touch.
"No." The orange haired teen snapped, swiping the pale, but now bloody fingers away from his injury, his mind telling his body it should be pain, but it was thought of as pleasure. "I meant we have to stop trying to gut each other every time I come in here. We're gonna bleed out one of these days, and I dunno about you, but I'd like to stay alive to continue our 'activities'." Ichigo grumbled, using lazy air quotes around his last word.
Mildly surprised by his King's willingness to admit he liked their rough-n-tumble, Shirosaki's face was eaten by an obscenely wide grin. "No guarantees."
Ichigo snorted. "Of course not."
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later
Ichigo didn't have any gratitude towards Shirosaki, because what they had didn't mean anything really. It was just the perfect way to satisfy both their vicious wants and desires without bringing anyone else into it. The albino Hollow damned Ichigo's still heroic nature; that he still felt as if he had to protect everyone from a danger that wasn't going to come. Shirosaki wanted to break that last remnant of the old Ichigo, so that he could show his new King what real pain was.
Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain