Je Ne Veux Pas Mourrir Toute Seule
Chapter 4: Friends Like Mine Make Enemies Divine
Please excuse me: I must admit that I am getting overly dramatic. Although this specific event occurred only four months ago, it's vivid to the point that it feels as if it only happened yesterday.
Now, however, now I wish it never happened at all. If not that, I wish there was a way to change at least one aspect of the darn thing. Of course, that will never happen for as long as I live –
Oh dear, why do I think about things like this? Why do I torment myself with such thoughts?
There I go again, rambling as always when I am practically at my wits' end and thus losing my train of thought. I beg your pardon: I am a little tired and emotionally drained. You will understand when all has been explained.
Then I suppose I had better get on with my story, correct? Bear with me, there is plenty of time: by the time I am finished, another dawn will grace us with its presence, the rays of the morning sun peeking in through my window with benign intent.
Sometimes I wonder if the light, ever constant and ubiquitous, is my only friend now …
"So what was Jughead the Jock jabbering to you about, huh?"
"Oh, nothing of importance, I can assure you."
Eddy scrutinised me, looking up at me with a scowl and a sparkle of suspicion shining conspicuously in his eyes. "Good, 'cause he's the last guy I want to see after what happened today. Man, I feel like punching someone in the face right now …"
"Not for me, Eddy – I'm driving," said Ed, grinning good-naturedly with a familiar vacant look in his eyes.
A word about my friends at this point: let it be known that behind their seemingly (ahem) simple appearances (and, uh, personalities), there lies a cunning mind and … a not-so-cunning mind, respectively (though Ed's Herculean strength more than made up for this slight).
When I moved to Peach Creek at a very young age, Ed and Eddy became my friends. Even then, young Eddy displayed an astute, scheming mind for business, and that infantile Ed demonstrated god-like brawn (without a god-like brain to match). It just so happened that, on the day that I decided to venture out into the neighbourhood for the first time to meet some of the children and potentially make some new friends, Ed and Eddy were in the middle of a scam – something to do with Ed swallowing a television, as far as I can remember. Despite the sketchy details of this scam, I was, then, very curious about how this could be scientifically – and humanly – possible (from a young age, I already had an interest in the wonders of science).
Therefore, I willingly coughed up money to Eddy and watched the spectacle unfold.
And from that day onwards, I developed mysophobia, in that I have a pathological fear of germs and contamination (seeing Eddy being exposed to Ed's mouth is enough to convert any unsanitary persons into clean-freaks).
In addition, not only did I become friends with Ed and Eddy and form part of Eddy's many plans to attain money in order to purchase mouth-watering jawbreakers, but also I almost always end up seeing the scams failing.
Almost always? Even I'm being too kind to myself.
However, I digress from the point.
To make a long story short, Eddy is usually volatile at the inevitable failures of our schemes – basically, Eddy is fuming, extremely livid when his plans do not come together. Every so often, Ed and I are at the receiving end of his temper tantrums. I repeatedly question my tolerance towards him; lovable Ed is perpetually without care, living in an invisible bubble of happy-go-lucky contentment (lacking in proper hygiene, of course).
Yet, they are among my dearest friends.
Egad, I'm being kind to myself again.
They are my only friends.
By associating with them – the no-good, scheming Eds, with whom I share the same name – I have literally alienated myself from the other kids in the neighbourhood. I am an outcast, and coupled with my neurotic cleaning habits and the mystery behind my hat, I seem even stranger. Mother and Father do not know of my current social status among the children: I felt that it did not concern them. That, and I didn't want to worry them in any way.
I sigh. The "children" of Peach Creek are no longer "children", so it does feel rather silly to call them that, even if there are one or two persons who have not exactly (ahem) matured. We have all grown up somewhat. The kids have changed in appearance to an extent, and they are slightly wiser than they were in their youth. I have reached the tender age of 15, and I have noticed many bodily … uh, changes, if you know what I mean.
Let us just say that good ol' Double D is no longer the gangly lad he used to be.
Oh dear, curse my sad excuse for an attempt at humour.
My apologies – that was a lame effort at wit, disgusting as it was. I have only succeeded in embarrassing myself. Nevertheless, you get the idea … hopefully.
Again, I digress. I shall now return to the subject of my friends, who are also at the same age as me, just so by the way.
Yet despite the physical changes that the years have granted unto them, their personalities are the same as ever …
So would they be able to able to handle the horrific news that I had received only a few minutes ago?
Eddy glared at Ed. "You'll be in traction if you don't shut your yap, Ed!"
"'Traction?' Where's that, Eddy?" asked Eddy, looking confused. "Is it far?"
"Not too far from YOUR FACE!" hissed Eddy in response.
Sighing, I interjected. "Eddy, please – first of all, that remark does not make any sense whatsoever. Secondly, you're making a scene for nothing. You had a rough day, I know, but that's no reason to have a temper tantrum. You have to calm down and take it in your stride."
It was pointless to have said that last part, for Eddy never learns from his mistakes.
Ever.
As expected, Eddy dismissed my interjection with a wave of his hand. "Yeah, whatever. I can be angry if I want to, Double D, so there."
"Very well, Eddy," I replied, sighing. "I only say what I have to say because I'm looking out for you in your best interests."
"Why, did Eddy's best interests go missing, Double D?" said Ed, looking around in a frantic manner. "Are they in Traction?"
"Ed …" I groaned.
"And you wonder why I'm angry all the time," Eddy said, rolling his eyes in Ed's direction.
Ed only grinned in response, beaming with delight. His beam of a smile reminded me about why I was here.
"Speaking of best interests, gentlemen, I have some important news to tell you –" I started, but Eddy cut me off.
"But hey! I'm willing to forgive and forget." He put his arm around me in what was supposed to be a friendly gesture, and I received a full-view display of his teeth. "We were just going over to my house to make some pizza and to pick you up on the way. Seeing Kevin just made me mad, that's all, though not for long."
Eddy whispered the last part in a conspiratorial tone, looking around to see if Kevin was in sight.
I tried again. "That's great, Eddy, but I have something to –"
"Pizza, Double D!" Ed exclaimed, pulling Eddy and I into a tight hug that took the wind out of me (Ed, as I am sure you're aware by now due to my comments, is a strong lad, and his strength increases as the years go by – much to my chagrin at times). "With cheese and pineapple and anchovies and chocolate sprinkles and marshmallow bits with a dash of mayo. Yum!"
"That's, uh, nice, Ed, but I really do have something –"
"Save it for later, Sockhead, we got plenty of time to talk AFTER we make the pizzas!" Eddy said, freeing himself from Ed's grip. "Come on! Those pizzas aren't gonna make themselves, you know!"
"Uh, actually, Eddy, I was on my way to the store to get some groceries for Mother – she left a sticky-note in the kitchen to remind me, you know how it is," I muttered, suddenly downcast. I managed to get free of Ed's embrace, and I patted myself down. "You can start making the pizzas in the mean-time. After all, what with the Nutella incident today, pizza-making will be a bit of a messy business …"
"Whatever, Double D, works for me," said Eddy, shrugging. "You'll be missing out, but what the heck."
"I'll save you a slice, Double D!" Ed chirped in with a grin.
"Idiot, we're only gonna eat it when Double D shows up!" Eddy responded, throwing his hands up in the air. He looked up at me. "Be at my house in an hour before Edzilla eats the damn pizza dough before we even bake it."
"Eddy, don't use language like that in front of Ed," I chastised.
"It's okay, Double D," said Ed good-naturedly. "You're lucky you didn't hear Eddy earlier after you left." Then he sang, "'What starts with F, and ends with -UCK, I want to ride my fire truck'!"
"Eddy!" I exclaimed, turning on Eddy. "Did you say the f-word?!"
"Uh …"
"In front of ED!?"
Eddy shrugged his shoulders. "What's the big deal? I only said it once."
"In front of ED!"
"What? It's only Ed."
"Who is liable to repeat it in front of people! Think of the children, Eddy!"
"Double D, those twerps aren't "children" anymore."
A slight pause.
"Alright. Think of Jimmy, Eddy!"
"Jimmy hangs around Sarah, he's used to hearing stuff like that," Eddy replied, again dismissing everything I said with an infuriating sweep of his hand. "Just make sure you turn up at my house in an hour. Then we can hear what you got to say, 'cause right now I'm starving."
Biting my lip, I said, "Alright, I'll see you then."
Before I could dare to say anything else, Eddy was dragging Ed by the collar of his shabby jacket towards his house, leaving me – once again – alone.
With friends like Ed and Eddy, you have to admit that even Sarah would make better company than those two.
Sighing, I brought my wristwatch into view to look at the time. My wristwatch was almost new, given to me by my parents as a gift for my outstanding achievements at school. It was shock-absorbent, waterproof and apparently Nutella-proof, thank the Lord.
Glancing down at the time, I could see that it was nearing 2 PM.
2 PM!
Eddy expected me to be at his house in an hour's time.
3 PM!
Kevin was expecting me at the creek around that time.
Oh dear …
I was conflicted, of course. Kevin was certainly not my closest friend, but at least he was amiable and an engaging person to converse with (when he chose his words carefully). After all, he extended an invitation to join him at the creek prior to my meeting with my friends, and he really did seem interested in my news. I had agreed to come, and I could not possibly go back on my word.
On the other side of the coin, Ed and Eddy were my good friends, and I wanted to reveal the news regarding the growth of my hair because of this fact. However, they did not let me give them the chance to tell them, and this disheartened me. After all we went through today, I expected them to hear what I had to say, at the very least. In a way, I suppose, they were making it up to me by inviting me to Eddy's house for a pizza-making session. For that too, I had agreed to come, and I could not possibly go back on my word.
I looked in the direction in which Kevin had left. Down an unfamiliar yet seemingly harmless path if I were to join Kevin at the creek
I looked in the direction in which Ed and Eddy had left, leading to his house. Down a familiar yet rocky path if I were to join my friends.
.
.
.
Curse Kevin if he expects me to swim in the creek just after I had a shower…
A/N: Golly gee, an update at last! And a day before New Year's Eve, too! Such random timing, do I have. ^3^ Compliments of the season to you all!
Grade 11 is finally over for me, so I have been working part-time at a toy-store and as a volunteer Puppy Trainer's Assistant for the last few months (though I only started the job in October), so I've been pretty busy. However, due to the great response out there to this little fanfic of mine, I just had to write another chappa.
I must admit, I did not expect this chapter to be so EPICALLY long, but you know how Double D is – a big thinker. I do hope you guys out there think that I'm staying true to his character. I know I'm being vague 'bout why he's melancholy, but it's sort of the point (you gotta admit, though, you just want to hug Double D because of his troubles, the poor dear). :) The worst part, I think of this chappa, is writing the parts involving Ed and Eddy. For one thing, to write their dialogues whilst staying true to their characters was difficult, in that I tried not make Eddy seem too hackneyed as a jerk and not make Ed too much of a simpleton. The only thing about the dialogue of his that I actually like is the "Traction" thing, which was lame. Geez …:)
And yes, the Eds are 15 years of age. As you can see, Eddy has developed colourful language indeed (and Sarah has too, by the sound of it, heh heh). He's still a short little bugger, though. *shrug* Double D sounds positively MANLY, don't you think? ;)
To my readers out there and to those who just pop in to have a look, I would like to extend my thanks. The reviews, the faves, the alerts … it's unbelievable. The response was unexpected, and it is appreciated. Thank you so much. I will try to actually answer the reviews this time ... ^-^;;
Enjoy what is left of 2012 (to those who expected the world to end along with this fanfic, you needn't worry anymore), and please be safe on your travels. Have a happy new year, and I'll see you next year!
*~AI07~* ;)