A:N Guess who's biz-ack? It's me! Here's our slippery slope update. Uhh I think there's one more chapter left and maybe an epilogue or maybe a sequel I'm not sure, but it' almost over. Don't worry I have sexier things planned for this pairing in the works. So.. Be on the lookout for that and Glory and gore will be going for a while until that story plot is finished so you can always seek solace in that. Oh 2 weeks till scandal baby. YES! Anyway.. Without further hesitation….
….
"Jake asked me to marry him. Jake wants to marry me."
Fitz could feel his throat seizing up.
"Olivia." Fitz said slowly.
"He asked me to marry him Fitz. He loves me enough to marry me and what am I doing?" Olivia said both saddened and angry.
"Liv."
"I'm cheating on him with my married boss. Cheating. All he wants to do is spend the rest of his life with me and I'm-"Olivia kept rambling.
"LIV!" Fitz sad trying to break through her bubble.
"What?" She said sounding broken. Fitz cringed.
"What did you say?" He finally asked after a long pause.
He could hear her breath hitch over the phone and he could feel his stomach drop.
"Olivia, what did you say?" Fit said again trying to keep the grating sound out of his voice. He didn't like where this was going and he wasn't used to this feeling. This feeling of losing control.
"What was I supposed to say?" Olivia sobbed into the phone.
He could tell he pushed too far. The sounds she was making were practically breaking his heart.
"I can't wait forever Fitz, I don't have time to wait for you and you shouldn't have to break apart your whole life for me." She said her voice shaken.
"Liv-"Fitz started again. The anger had passed through him now all that was left was sorrow, compete and absolute sorrow.
"I told him yes, Fitz." She finally breathed. "He just wants to give me the life I've been dreaming of, give me the family I've been talking about my whole life and I owe him the chance to try." She said sadly.
"I owe him that much." She said again when Fitz didn't speak.
He was once again rendered speechless.
His mind was running but his voice wouldn't work and his heart. His poor heart was hammering away in his chest like it wanted to bust out of him and run away.
"I'm so sorry." He heard her say before the line went dead.
He stayed in the same place, the phone still too his ear.
She told him yes.
She told him yes.
She told him fucking yes.
"Olivia, Liv, LIV!" he finally screamed into the phone before throwing it across the room in a fit of rage. He was panting and pacing running his hands through his hair roughly over and over not understanding what was happening anymore.
"Fitz?" He head softly from the doorway.
Fitz turned to the door. His body still huffing and raging.
"What?" He spat looking over his wife.
Mellie went wide eyed at him her body going still.
"Nothing, I just-"She started but trailed off.
They held eye contact. The rain pounding against the roof. Fitz was still panting his breaths deep and quick. He couldn't move he couldn't speak and somehow he paralyzed her in the door way. Whatever snarky, sarcastic remark falling from her mind.
Fitz felt his emotions building and building and building. His mind was running in a loop over and over and all it contained was moments with her, conversations with her. In the short amount of time they had been together he had more memorable moments then in his entire life. She was his everything, she was his all and now she was gone.
Realizing that he finally collapsed.
He let go.
He fell to his knees with huge sobs that seemed to rack his entire body. No sound, just pain it felt like. Coursing through his body from his chest.
"Fitz!" Mellie exclaimed making her way over to him. She fell by his side holding his head as he fell apart. He laid his head down in her lap unconsciously letting everything go.
"What's wrong? What's wrong?" Mellie said trying to console him. She didn't understand what was going on and Fitz was too distraught to even attempt to explain it to her. "What do you want me to do? Tell me what to do Fitz and I'll do it." She said rocking him back and forth.
"Just tell me what to do."
…
"Quinn!" Fitz barked from as he walked into the firm and like clockwork she was by his side.
"Yes Mr. Grant." She said quickly.
"Miss Pope is in Correct?" He said not waiting for an answer just moving his feet in the direction of her office. He was going to give her piece of his mind. He was going to tell her that she wasn't the only one suffering. That life was hard and you couldn't take the easy way out every goddamn time things got difficult. He was going to show her how much anguish he'd been in, in the last 24 hours and with any luck make it out before he lost it again.
"Mr. Grant-" Quinn started but they had made it to her office door before she could finish.
"Wait out here." Fitz said grabbing the knob.
"Mr. Grant!" Quinn tried again as he opened the door.
It was bare.
Completely bare.
Only her desk remained.
"I was going to tell you that she cleared her stuff out earlier this morning. She told me to give you this." Quinn said a little sadly.
Fitz turned to her with a wide eyes. He looked down at the white envelope with his name scribbled in her hand writing.
Fitz grabbed it from her and closed the now empty office behind him.
"She looked kind of sad when she left do you know what-" Quinn started but Fitz out walked her and closed himself in his office. His back finding stability against his closed door. He looked over the envelope in his hand. There were wet marks on it from what he assumed were tears.
He didn't want to open it.
He didn't-
KNOCK
KNOCK
KNOCK
KNOCK
"Sir."
Fitz stayed against the door hoping that Cyrus would go away.
"Sir. I know. Open the door."
He heard muffled from the outside. He turned and opened the door stepping back to let Cyrus in.
"You know what?" Fitz said composing himself. He walked over to his desk and heard Cyrus shut the door behind him.
"I know about you and Olivia." He said looking at Fitz dead on.
Fitz plopped down in his chair and sat the envelope on his desk with a sigh this was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Fitz said reaching in his desk and pulling out a glass and the near empty scotch bottom from his left hand drawer.
Cyrus took a challenging step toward him still not breaking eye contact.
"Don't do this. Don't try and hide it from me. We've been through thick and thin with this firm. Hell I was the best man at your wedding. If I'm not being to presumptuous sir, I would consider us friends and I know about you and Olivia, Hell I've known since the first night when you dragged her out of the conference room in a temper tantrum." Cyrus said almost running out of breath.
Fitz eyes brows shot up. He continued to listen sipping slowly from the glass letting the liquid sooth his wounds.
"I could understand if you two were just fucking around. I feel sorry for Mellie but then again Mellie is Mellie but now it's becoming too much. I've been watching you two flirt and have dealt with the constant sexual tension for damn near 3 months and then suddenly she's gone. The best lawyer we've had here in a long time is gone all because you can control yourself." Cyrus scolded.
"Excuse me?" Fitz coughed.
"You heard me. You were angry, upset, acting like a child and you went off and dragged her into you're childish games, hell she's still a child herself in a way with big eyes and hopes for the world. You are supposed to know better, you were supposed to control yourself and behave like an adult, have your fling and be done with it but no you had to be greedy you had to keep milking it and milking it until it was dry and now here we are a great lawyer short and a leader missing.
"I don't know who the Hell you think you're talking too." Fitz said standing up out of his chair. He'd had enough of Cyrus sideline input.
"I'm talking to you. Mr. Grant! I'm talking to Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the third whose name is resting on the outside of this building because he runs this place. He created it from the ground up and I'll be damn if I sit by and watch it crumble away because you got a puppy crush on Olivia Pope. When we interviewed her I didn't say no because I didn't think she was qualified. I said no because I seen the way you looked at her like she was the Apple in your garden and I knew sooner or later that things would get messy and now they are messy. What happened? She realized that you were never going to leave your wife? She got out before you is that what has you ticking mad? That you couldn't enjoy your free ride a little longer? It's a shame really because she was a hell of a lawyer I just wish you were a better man." Cyrus said turning to leave. As if Fitz was going to let him say his peace and leave just like that.
"Do not leave this office." Fitz said anger making his voice brooding and intimidating.
Cyrus stopped mid-step and turned toward Fitz again his face red from ranting.
"Do not come in here and scold me like some child. It's my name that's on the outside of this building, it's me who made this place happen. Not you, not Mellie, not even Olivia so I'll be DAMNED if I let YOU come in here and tell me what's what like you're running the show. You're not, and if you knew about us and you had your little fears and doubts why not tell me sooner. Why wait until now? If all it takes is a few good men to do nothing Cy than you're as guilty as me. I'm sorry I couldn't be stronger when it came to my emotions. Not everyone has it all figured out with their life partner. Sometimes you rush into things without thinking and then you wake up years later wondering where the time went and how you got to this place. So excuse me for thinking I had a SHOT at happiness, excuse me for wanting to dream of a life where I don't work all day and all night JUST so I don't have to go home. Excuse me for wanting Kids and a family. Don't come in here and scold me like I made the biggest mistake of my life because for a moment I was happy and if that's all I'm going to get then I'll never regret it. Now get out of my Office, and if I ever hear you talking about this again I will fire you Cyrus. Friends or not I will fire you." Fitz finished picking up the rest of his drink.
Cyrus was gob smacked. He stood around for another minute before nodding and walking out of Fitz office. Fitz sank back down into his chair. To say he was tired was an understatement. HE was exhausted emotionally, physically and mentally.
His eyes wandered to the white envelope sitting on his desk. He sat the glass down and picked it up examining it one final time before opening it. He unfolded the paper slowly. It smelled like her. He caught a brief hint of it when he opened the envelope but then no more.
He inhaled one more time slowly letting his eyes fall closed before he opened them and began to read.
Fitz,
If this somehow was another world and we were married. You would be a big shot lawyer and I'd be the doting wife that stayed home with the kids and made sure the house was clean, but secretly gave you legal advice then this would work, we would work but it's not. You are married and I'm not trying to beat a dead horse when I say this. Marriage to me is the most sacred thing and I couldn't dare take that away from you and your wife no matter how much it hurts me. I know she may be difficult but somehow, sometime you loved her, like you think you love me. I don't want you to wake up 15 years from now and realize you threw it all away and I don't want to wake up and realize you're not happy anymore. Jake may not be the best and he certainly not you but he wants to make us work he wants to make me happy and I think after everything I've put him through he deserves a chance. I will never forget you and what you mean to me and I will never regret what we've done but it's time to move on it's time to get my head out of the clouds and it's time for you to start living in this world. Not the one we've created through lies and stolen moments. Work it out with her for me and try and forget. Try and forget us. I am sorry that this couldn't be everything you wanted it to be but it's never too late to start over. It's never too late. I've cleaned out my office and I think it should go to Quinn she's earned it and like you used to tell me when I interned "We won't know how good you are until your first case." Give her a shot, you're going to need the help. I doubt we'll be living in California after the wedding. Jake's family has land in the east and he wants to take me there for a new beginning. How ironic huh? I will miss you however and your ridiculous sense of humor. Stay strong and stay on top. I'll keep watch of Grant and associates, you slip up once and….never mind. I know you hate goodbyes and I'm not finding them easy myself right now but somehow I think it will work out and who knows in the next life maybe it will work in our favor, I just I hope you aren't mad with me and I hope you can be happy again. Never doubt that I loved you, and I still do love you. See you on the flip side bossman.
Forever and Always,
Olivia Carolyn Pope
Fitz couldn't help the lone tear that escaped his eye or the wave of emotions that rashe through him. How could a letter, a simple letter make him feel so strongly.
Because it came from her.
He slammed it down on his desk.
But it still seemed to loomed over him.
He folded it and put it in his desk.
Ut it seemed to call from him there to throwing up in his face how wonderful the girl he jus tlost was. He wise an intelligent and caring and absolutely-
"Mr. Grant." Fitz heard Quinn small voice echo through the room.
"Yes." Fitz said clearing his throat.
"Did you find out the situation on Olivia?" She said standing in the doorway.
"Olivia is leaving us." Fitz said more shaken then he wanted.
'She what?" Quinn said her mouth falling open. "How could she? Why is she? We need her we.." Fitz stopped her even though the same questions she was asking aloud were bouncing around his head as well.
"For starters I'm giving you her office, I think it's time you stop interning and show us what you've got if you want the job."
"Mr. Grant I want the job but I can't take her office. I just, I would be more comfortable taking Billy's. That's Olivia's office I don't deserve it." Quinn said humbly.
Fitz sighed internally. He didn't know how well he would have been settled f Quinn actually wanted Olivia's office.
"Fine you can start in the morning take the day to finish up your small tasks and stop by to see Cyrus regarding the paperwork." Fitz said glimpsing at her.
"Yes sir. Thank you sir and Mr. Grant?" Quinn said before leaving. Fitz looked up again.
"She'll be back. She loves y- this place. There's no way she could leave." Quinn said nervously before fleeing the room.
He could only dream.
…
"And then my parents can sit beside yours at the main table and- Olivia, Liv are you listening?" Jake bellowed in her ear.
"Yes, yes my parents and your parents. " Olivia said flashing another fake smile. She'd gotten used to them in the past 3 months. She had to get used to a lot of things. She moved out of her house and into jakes. Half her things were in storage and she wasn't used to sharing space with him yet but it was fine. The wedding was soon. Sooner then she could believe and they were holding the ceremony at his parent's extravagant home in Rhode Island. The after they would settle not far from them in the town where Jake already had a job lined up and ready for her. Everything seemed to be coming up Olivia, but it all felt so new and confusing. She didn't remember it being this bad with f-
She stopped herself.
She didn't think about him.
She didn't speak of him.
She tried not to dream of him but she always did every night since she quit the firm.
"Liv, Liv you realize the wedding is in two weeks?" Jake said closing the giant planner.
"Yes I do, I do." Olivia said subconsciously scarfing down french-fries to ease her nervousness.
"Then why are you acting like you have all the time in the world to sit, stare at trees and think about you're old boss." Jake said storming back inside.
Olivia's eyes went wide as she followed after him.
"What did you say?" She said following him inside watching as he threw the wedding planner book down on the table.
"You heard me. I know you had a crush on him or you cared about him or something and I thought after I proposed that we could get back to the way things were before, I don't know. You started changing liv. I heard you say his name in your sleep last night." Jake said a little sadly.
"Jake I-" Olivia started trying to figure out how to explain to him. "I'm just not used to everything yet things will get better after we're married and I start that job and-" Olivia tried to reassure him.
"Will you stop sobbing his name at night? And crying in the shower and, and Dammit Liv! You can be honest with me. I just want you to be happy and if you can't be happy with me." He started
"I can. I am. I just needed a little time, but I'm okay now. Can we just get back to the seating chart please and drop this?" Olivia begged. A feeling of apprehension and fear filling her stomach. She gave up everything for Jake. She'd given up Fitz for Jake and now it was falling apart. The very thing she willed it not to do.
"I don't know, I just. I got to think okay. I got to think." Jake said running his hand through his hair before grabbing his jacket and walking out the front door.
"JAKE!,JAKE!" Olivia screamed after him.
Tears flooding down her face.
…..
"Grant and Associates, Grant speaking."
Olivia tried not to breathe too hard into the phone. Just his voice, just his voice brought instant solace. The deep tone of it, the natural scruff it held. It made her feel safe. Jake hadn't come back yet and it was starting to get late.
She'd stop crying long ago.
She was so tired of crying.
"Hello." She heard his voice again, but stayed silent listening to his uneven breaths. She did this at least three times a month. Sometimes he'd hang up immediately and sometimes he'd get into fit of rage about prank callers before hanging up.
"Listen I don't know who this is but if you don't talk in the next 5 seconds!" He snapped into the phone. Olivia suck in a quick breath of air. There was silence on the other end, but he hadn't hung up yet. She got the feeling he knew it was her. She didn't know how, but she felt like he just knew.
"Liv."
Olivia let out a big breath of air and pulled the phone back from her ear to end the call.
"Livvie wait, wait don't hang up, just don't hang up." He sounded broken for a brief minute before his voice was back to normal.
She couldn't bring herself to end the call. She put the phone back her ear and sucked in another deep breath as if it was her only way of communicating.
"Liv." He spoke her name again but she couldn't speak. She couldn't talk to him.
What would she say?
Everything she had to say she thought she'd written in her letter and with that letter she could get rid of that part of her life but it was becoming clear that that part of her life was never going to go away.
"You don't have to speak it's just…." She heard a chuckle on the other side of the phone. "Has this been you the whole time? I was starting to think it was Cyrus messing with me. We got into an argument after you left and things aren't the same yet, I doubt they'll ever be the same." He said with a sigh. Olivia had silent tears rolling down her face, holding back cries of her own listening to him talk.
God how she missed him.
"Quinn is doing great, you were right about that. She was ready." He said pausing again. She knew Fitz said she didn't have to talk but she knew he was hoping she did.
"Listen Liv," Fitz said letting out a sigh along with it. Olivia held onto the phone for dear life. Wiping her face. Trying not to sound as pathetic as she felt.
"I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you but you were wrong. I just want you to know you were wrong." He breathed into the phone. She could tell there was a deeper meaning then he was letting on. Wrong about what? Out of all the things he could talk about in the 3 months they were apart all he could do was shove it in her face that she was wrong about something?
"Wrong about what?" She finally uttered her voice nasally from the crying.
"Goodbye Liv." Fitz said sadly into the phone.
"Wrong about what?" She said into the phone again.
She heard him breath one last time before the line went dead.
"fitz? Fitz? FITZ?" She said into the phone turning it off and throwing it across the hallway.
…
She hadn't called again.
And from what he could gather about Abby's happy chatter around the office her wedding was in a two days. Technically one day considering it was in the afternoon. So tomorrow she would be Olivia Carolyn Pope-Ballard.
What a ridiculous name.
"I'm home."
He heard from the foyer. Mellie had been patient with him and understanding almost caring even. Helping him get through everything even though she didn't know what was happening. On some level that strengthened his respect for her but he still didn't see their marriage becoming shiny and new like Olivia wanted.
He would never be fully happy not without her.
"I brought Chinese and I thought we could eat and watch some of those old movies you love so much." She said walking into his study.
"You hate Chinese food." He huffed still reading the paper.
"But you love Chinese food and old movies. I figured you needed a pick me up." She said a bright smile on her face, but Fitz knew it was tempered. The whole act was. She'd been walking on eggshells since his mini break down and this just wasn't a way to live a life anymore. Not like this.
"Mellie we need to talk." Fitz said putting the paper down.
"Oh thank god, I hate this food." She said tossing the Styrofoam on the nearby loveseat.
"I know you do." Fitz sad letting a small smile slip through.
"And those movies, honey you need to get them remastered or in color or something." She said shaking her head.
"That would ruin the quality." Fitz said raising one eyebrow.
"Whatever." Mellie said sitting down on the couch dismissing his comment. "So are we going to talk about your meltdown? Or Olivia?" Mellie said timidly.
"How do you-" Fitz started.
"I asked Cyrus and I pushed and pushed until I got it out of him. He didn't tell me everything but he told me about Olivia leaving. Don't be mad with him, you know how persistent I can be." Mellie said looking up at Fitz.
He just looked at her.
"I filled in the blanks." She said after Fitz hadn't spoken in a while.
"You did, did you?" Fitz said walking over to his liquor cabinet. He was going to need a drink or 6 for this conversation.
"I did and at first I was hurt. I was so hurt and so angry and I-"Mellie stopped herself. Fitz looked back at her. Her hands balled in Fitz on her lap and then they relaxed as she relaxed. She smoothed her dress out and began again.
"I know our marriage and our home life hasn't been the best. I'm not oblivious to it Fitz, I've just chose to ignore it but honey come on." Mellie said looking at him.
Fitz finished off his drink. Here it comes…..
"If you love this girl why are you wasting your time moping around here?" She asked.
Fitz spit his drink out across the room and turned back to her.
"What?" He asked looking wide eyed at her.
"Fitz you forget, I was your best friend before we started dating. I'm not just some girl you picked at random. I was your friend and I will never stop being your friend even after this. We haven't been happy in a long time and we both don't want the same things. I thought as long as you were willing to pretend and make it work I was obligated to do so but this, this right here isn't working." She said standing up and walking in front of him.
"Mellie." Fitz said in a questioning tone.
"Think what you want about me, anyone think what they want, but I have a heart and it has been broken like yours is now and if there was something I could do, anything I could do to change that, by god if I wouldn't move heaven and earth to do so." Mellie said her hand rubbing down his face and falling to his shoulder.
He knew she was talking about him. He felt a pang of regret surge through him.
"But I can't and you can. You will always be my best friend and I will always be yours. I know you love me, you just don't love, love me and I can accept that." She said with tears filling her eyes and conviction in her voice.
"But I cannot accept you sitting here and doing nothing while the love of your life slips through your fingers. If you love something let it go and so Fitz…" She said looking him in his eye. His face held the look of shock and understanding.
"I release you." She said giving him a kiss on the cheek. Fitz hugged her, crushed her tight to his chest before pulling back. She let out a glee filled giggle.
"Mellie I-"Fitz said trying to respond to her. He hadn't felt this relieved in months. Like a rock was lifted off his shoulders and the decision about what to do became clear to him.
"I know, I know, now go. From what I hear she's on a plane to Rhode island." Mellie said wiping the tears from her face.
"Rhode island?" Fitz said grabbing his coat.
"They decided to get married at his parents' home, don't ask me how I know just be happy I know." She said smiling at him. "You could ask Cyrus more about it. He seems to know about everything now a days." Mellie said with a laugh.
"Doesn't he though?" Fitz said rolling his eyes before looking back at her. This is what was wrong, this is why they couldn't click. It wasn't meant to be for them to be married and have kids. She was his friend, his best friend and they'd lost that somewhere in the day to day marital duties until it fizzled out. He wasn't saying that you couldn't be best friends with your spouse but it wasn't right for them and it seemed that she figured it out really before he did.
"Thank you Mellie." HE said placing a sloppy kiss on her forehead and rubbing her hair before leaving.
"FITZ! You know I hate that, and you're going to ruin my hair." She said with a complaining laugh.
Fitz chuckled and grabbed his keys.
He had a plane to catch.
….
A:N SO I bet none of you saw that side of Mellie coming. I was like everyone's always writing Mellie as a bitch and even though she kind of is one in the show Mellie has been through a lot and you got to give her props for that. So I wrote understanding Mellie. Also I want you guys to know No phones were harmed in the making of this fanficiton. (They threw their phones a lot in this one.) Uhhh I don't know how many of you got that crazy snow storm but I got a lot of it and it sucked. My writers block is almost gone! (You have no idea how many versions of this chapter there are.) I hope you enjoyed it, as always leave me a review or a message and I'll get back to you. :D
To infinity and Olitz,
Gabbie.