Oh hi there, here's another chapter. Bit more serious this time, because I think people would get tired of the light-heartedness.
The channel really didn't turn out well at the end, so he sold it to someone else for a somewhat large sum of 500,000 US dollars. Thing is, the Commander Keen channel started out great, Flynn was delivering the news and everyone was taking it, that was all, no nonsense bullshit unlike the other news channels. *cough* *cough* DramaAlertwithkillermemestar *cough* *cough*
That was until he got some beef with the largest persona on YouTube, then it all went downhill. But it got worse when he reported some news on D. Va about her getting a copyright strike on Twitch which resulted her in getting banned because the copyright holder stated that the situation cannot be made public other than 'This streamer has been dealing with some copyright issues, he/she will be back soon.' Well, Flynn somehow hacked into her Twitch account and made all that info public.
Then D. Va got Zarya to beat Flynn to a pulp and started a petition which garnered millions upon millions of signatures to retake the Twitch channel. That happened but D. Va was still pretty pissed about getting it taken down because of one of her colleagues infiltrating her privacy. After Zarya beat the pulp out of the Doom Slayer, Commander Keen exposed D. Va for hiring someone to beat the shit out of him. Which in turn made the Twitch celebrity do a diss track against Flynn. Commander Keen obviously fired back with a diss track that was so fire that it nearly burned the collective houses of 2 million people down.
Which resulted in 2 million people trying to sue him. Because of the amount of people suing the Commander Keen channel and it's host, Commander Keen, who was now forced to sell the channel for 500,000 US Dollars to pay for the defense as Overwatch wouldn't be too happy if someone took 450,000 US Dollars from their funds.
Yes, he knows, he sold it for more than he needed. Luckily, nobody exposed him for that. And yes, nobody knows why his channel was worth $500,000.
Now, Flynn had 50,000 US Dollars on hand. Ready to do anything with it.
In the end, D. Va won the battle against Commander Keen and the Keen Nation was dissolved, now under the name DramaAlert being commanded by Killer Keemstar. Who, by the way, is a total piece of shit that nobody liked but still relied on to deliver the news since, well, the other news channel was gone. There have been rumors of another channel on the rise, but nothing has been confirmed.
"This is my last video before I sell the channel, it was fun delivering the news for the Keen nation, but I can no longer operate this channel, I'm sorry for nearly setting you guys' houses on fire, but I had to fire back against D. Va. Commander Keen out." Flynn sighed as he cut the recording and the fan-made outro for the Commander Keen channel played, with a final message of goodbye.
Now what was he gonna do with all this stuff? Opening up the EBay website, he sold everything that he bought for the Commander Keen channel and made approximately 7,500 US Dollars. Including the ultra-powerful computer he bought for $3,500.
Now what was he going to do? He had some beef with D. Va and his channel was sold. He was sitting down in his Praetor suit on the couch of his room, the TV facing him with a turned-off screen. He yawned, going to sleep.
/
It was the monthly physical that everybody hated. All the men and women of Overwatch (except the Omnics) would just line up at the medical bay to see if they got Ebola or some other weird disease, cancer, mind control device or tracker. Everyone usually got nothing other than the tracker.
Of course, Mercy was in charge of screening every person that goes through the door.
Once Flynn came into the room, in his body suit and not the Praetor suit as that would have crushed the seats, everybody shot him a look with some of them sneering. He blinked once or twice, not knowing what was up, and casually sat down on the chair.
He bought a phone with all the money he obtained from the Commander Keen channel. Being pretty much connected with everyone at Overwatch. He was forced to see all the selfies Tracer, D. Va and some other people took. He scrolled through the Twitter timeline until he stopped at a particular picture posted by Tracer.
It was a picture of Mercy doing mouth-to-mouth with Flynn. At Numbani.
His body immediately shut down, he could even see the "doomslayer. exe has stopped working Windows is checking for a solution to the problem…" Before he started smashing his head into the wall multiple times, garnering the attention from everyone in the room.
He kept on bashing it, not caring for the potential consequences before his head saw the sunlight outside, he nearly bashed through it. Bashing through the wall he rested his head in the hole, looking outside and enjoying the sunlight.
/
Doctor Angela Ziegler or 'Mercy' as her colleagues would call her didn't have much time to dwell on things like social media, as she had more important things to do. But whenever she does have time, it always had the worst things.
This time, the bad thing she saw was a picture of her doing the mouth-to-mouth procedure on Flynn Taggart because he was choking on something. The captions under it read: "Need a room?"
Then her body immediately shut down, she could even see the "mercy. exe has stopped working Windows is checking for a solution to the problem…" Before her head dug itself into the sheets, face fully red of embarrassment.
/
Currently, the hulking Space Marine without the Praetor Suit was chasing Tracer down, in an attempt to get her to take the photo down.
He made an attempt to grab her by the jacket. "Take!" Lena dodged the attempt, "The photo!" He made another attempt to grab her, "Down!"
Tracer only giggled, "Can't do that love!" She blinked forward, giggling even more. "It was just in good fun love! Calm down!"
"Just take it down D. Va's gonna kill me!" Flynn screamed back, "She's probably downloaded it anyways!"
He stopped. Yep, his life was over, time to go back to Hell. He stopped chasing her, went up the stairs to the landing pad of the ORCA dropship and threw himself off, essentially committing suicide.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR SUIT!" Tracer tried catching him but even at her speed, was too slow to catching the falling man and when he reached the floor, he was a corpse.
"No, no! No!" Tracer ran up to him. "You aren't dying on me!" The corpse sunk to the floor, she tried pulling it back up, but to no avail. She started crying as the corpse fully sank through the floor.
/
D. Va was currently laughing her ass off in the lobby for the medical bay. She didn't know what happened to Flynn until a Hellish looking portal opened up on the floor under the coffee table, essentially just swallowing the piece of furnitue.
And Flynn came out with demonic looks eyes and red energy crackling in between his hands as he levitated above the ground, the demonic portal under him.
The portal closed and Flynn fell to the floor.
"The Hell just happened?" The Space Marine looked around to see horrified and shell-shocked expressions from everyone in the room. Even McCree let his cigar drop from his mouth. Flynn was still in his same clothes before he realized what just happened. "Hell does not want me back down there." And he sat back down on a chair like nothing happened while flipping through the latest IKEA magazine.
Then Tracer burst through the door, tears in eyes as she sobbed uncontrollably, everybody turned to look at her, the usually peppy girl of Overwatch now in tears. "You don't look alright, anything wrong?" Lucio asked.
"Flynn's dead!" She blurted out while still sobbing. Everybody turned to each other, "Huh? He's just over there, reading a magazine." Tracer looked at Flynn, who was reading the IKEA magazine.
"You're alive!"
"Yeah, Hell doesn't want me anymore after I gave them a good lesson." Tracer blinked up to him, not realizing the coffee table in the middle of the lobby was gone and nearly squeezed him to death in a bear hug. "Oh my god I was so scared!" She said while squeezing him to death. Realizing that he was turning as blue as Widowmaker, she let go. "Where's the coffee table?" She asked, finally realizing the coffee table wasn't there.
"The portal that dropped him here sucked in the coffee table." Winston said while pushing his glasses to his eyes. D. Va looked at Flynn deviously. "GG." McCree decided to be the one to inform him why there was a devious look on her face, "Y'see, last time someone messed with the coffee table here, ooh boy did they get an earful from Angela." McCree lit up another cigar, much to the ire of everyone else. "You might as well be cooked pork."
Flynn groaned, when he and the team got back home from Numbani, Mercy gave him the worst talking to he has ever heard about not chewing gum during battle. Not in the sense that he lost interest really quickly but she genuinely scared him and was listening to each word she said. Speaking of which, the doctor came from the door. "Hana-" D. Va stood up as she heard her name but sat back down as she saw the glare coming from the doctor as Angela glared at the empty space that used to be where the coffee table was. "Where's the coffee table?" She asked, sounding really pissed off. Tracer, understanding the situation enough, decided to explain. "Flynn died, went to Hell, but Hell didn't want 'im there so they opened up a big ol' portal here that sucked up the coffee table."
The Combat medic glared even harder at Flynn, seemingly unphased by the fact that he died. "Flynn. I want to see you in my office. Now." Everyone gave him a look of apprehension and empathy, even D. Va felt sorry as she mouthed the words "GG" at him. Flynn returned the nervous look.
/
A couple of screams from the doctor, a few bitch slaps to the face, a few more screams and terrified responses from Flynn. It was all horrible inside the medical bay as Mercy just vented her anger at him for making the coffee table disappear.
"I SPENT AN ENTIRE SALARY ON THAT COFFEE TABLE!" She continued screaming at a wincing Space Marine, "AND YOU JUST MAKE IT DISAPPEAR ALL OF A SUDDEN!? HOW COULD YOU!?" The soft and kind Mercy that everyone knew no longer existed because of a disappeared coffee table.
"Alright! Alright! I'll buy you another one!" Flynn held his hands in front of his face as to defend himself from any other bitch slaps.
And he got one despite the defense he put up. Mercy took a deep breath, "I believe, that is all my frustration vented." She let out the breath and the Mercy everyone knew came back, "The physical, shall we?"
Thirty minutes later…
Nobody looked at Mercy the same way after Flynn came out, genuinely shell-shocked and looking behind his back worriedly. McCree whistled, "That sounded like the worse earful I have ever heard."
"Hana?" Mercy asked with a normal tone which contradicted her mood half an hour prior. D. Va nervously stood up and walked into the medical bay.
/
A week later…
Today, it was the bimonthly combat exams, basically Athena just tests each and every member on their combat efficiency, if you don't pass, you don't get to go on a mission until you do pass, simple as that. Everyone passed obviously, not much of a problem there, but what piqued everyone's attention was the new candidate, Flynn Taggart or the Doom Slayer.
Because of his, well, 'aggressive' nature, everyone was interested on how the Doom Slayer, the person that went from Hell and back, then in again, then back and so on and so forth, ripping and tearing along the way would perform in a test like this. There was an overarching story behind his ripping and tearing but Flynn never really cared for the story and was only interesting in murdering the shit out of things.
His knuckles cracked, bones popped, neck stretched and suit on, Flynn was ready for the obstacle course. Of course, he wasn't going to do the obstacle. Because if one thing was good about him, it was that he could break through walls just as easily as he could tear an Imp's head in half after decapitating it.
"Do not think you can burst through the obstacles." Athena's generic voice informed him, "I have reinforced the obstacles and calculated that it would be one-hundred percent impossible for you to break through them."
"Doesn't hurt if I try." Flynn smirked under his mask. "Please do not, or else you'd be risking a concussion."
"Had lots of those before."
"Even with the concussion, you'd most likely suffer severe damage to your spinal cord and major brain damage."
"I went through Hell and back."
"Adding on to the mentioned possible injuries, you would have to interact with Doctor Ziegler again."
"…Fair point."
"Course starts in five…four…three…two…one." Flynn started running, going faster and faster, then and, against all laws of physics, he broke through the obstacles, which resulted in Athena trying to calculate the possibility which resulted in the AI committing digital seppuku because it couldn't find the answer for why he could break through the obstacles she reinforced.
However, what Athena didn't mention was that there were jumping obstacles, which were easy work because the Jump Thrusters attached to his boots.
"Woo hoo!" Rock music just blared inside Flynn's helmet as he burst right through the next set of obstacles. Winston in the meantime took over the test. By the time that happened, he was already finished the obstacle course.
"The second part of the exam is combat efficiency. Kill as many simulated enemies as possible in the allocated time frame." Winston cleared his throat, "There is a leaderboard so please do try and make an effort to put your name on it."
"The test begins in three…two…one..." Then a number holographic soldiers appeared on screen. Flynn, using his common sense for the first time ever took out his chain gun, activating the Turret Mode, the single barrel split up into three barrels, essentially just tripling the amount of bullets thrown at the enemy. He held his finger on the handle of his weapon. The barrels already were at full speed and the holographic soldiers were dying left and right.
Deciding that got boring, Flynn took out the Rocket Launcher, unmodified, by the way, as he couldn't find a field drone to modify it and just unleashed Hell with it as rocket after rocket poured out, the holographic soldiers turned into vehicles and mechs but served no difference as the rocket barrage that was oddly familiar to Pharah decimated vehicle after vehicle and mech after mech.
And then the allocated time was up.
"Aw." Flynn pouted.
Winston cleared his throat over the microphone, "You, Flynn Taggart, have just set the new record."
"I did?"
"Yes. You did."
"Who did I beat?"
"You…won't want to hear it."
"Come on, tell me!"
"If you so desire. But I am not liable for any injuries you sustain when you walk through the exit." Winston warned.
"Let me guess, big muscles, pink hair and very scary?" Flynn shifted nervously.
"Exactly."
"I don't want to know anymore."
/
Flynn left the exam area with a couple bruises and a broken visor courtesy of Zarya. Maybe a concussion too, but that was unconfirmed.
"Ow…" He stumbled his way back to his barracks, very dizzy from the horrible beating. He was genuinely afraid of that woman. Well, any women with muscles that big would scare him.
He continued stumbling, occasionally slamming into a wall leaving a big dent in it before trudging his way back into his room. From there, he just stumbled on the couch, closing his eyes as sleep enveloped him.
The next day…
Flynn woke up, still thinking that he was on his bed, he rolled off the couch onto the floor, leaving a dent on the floor. He slept in his suit and his helmet was rolling around with a cracked visor.
"Dammit…" He managed to get himself to sit upright. Looking around his room, his vision continued to come back to him.
"You don't fuck with a Russian person again." He knocked his head a couple times in an attempt to curb his dizziness.
It didn't work.
He slumped back on his couch. When he did that, he started to gather his bearings.
Looking at the screen saver that displayed the time on his TV, Seven PM? Whoa, he was out for a long time. Looking to his small dining table, he noticed a covered plate on it. His bearings fully gathered, he stood from the couch and to the dining table.
He sat down, removed the cover from the plate which revealed a variety of food that probably came from the mess hall.
Devouring the food was putting it lightly.
The plate all devoid of food, he tossed said plate towards the sink which landed perfectly.
He walked to the door, it slid open for him and he walked in the hallway of rooms. Rubbing his head, he needed to get outside. He walked across, landing himself on the outside parts of the area. There was a bench with a nice view of the sunset. Deciding that the bench was probably a good place to take a breather, he walked up to it and sat down, wishing that he would be left alone.
But Tracer noticed him sit there, but even worse was that she sat right beside him on the bench.
"You've been out for a while. Zarya must've done a number on you, love." Tracer laughed, "Mercy looked ready to kill when we told her about it."
"I could imagine that, after last week." Flynn let out a breath, "Heh, guess I only serve to piss people off."
"What do you mean by that love?" Tracer asked, looking at him with a curious expression, from what she saw, Flynn was pretty nice to be around, fun loving and adventurous. Just like her. To be honest, they had a lot in common. But in no way could she see him actually try to piss someone off. "Well, when I was back on Mars, there was guy named Samuel Hayden, chairman of the UAC and all that stuff, he wanted me to try and preserve this Argent Energy stuff by making me carefully disengage the filters and all that so I could get to the killing part. Guess what I did? I Just kicked the shit out of those filters, basically just destroying essential energy for the Earth I knew. He was pissed, let me tell you. Then there's Hell's demons, I killed so many of them that they didn't even want me there. Hence why I came up from a Hellish portal a week ago." Tracer laughed. "Oh come on! I'm sure you didn't mean it!"
"I guess I didn't really know the consequences." Flynn let out a dry laugh. "Wonder how Earth back there is doing. Wouldn't expect a single guy running the operations of at least sixty thousand people all at the same time." Tracer inhaled a small gasp, "Sixty thousand people died?"
"At least." Flynn took a breath. "Couldn't save them. Woke up too late on this sarcophagus. But seriously, if someone programs their base to alert you in case of a demonic invasion, I think they should stop what they're doing. Well, they might have deserved it cause that's just stupid. I mean, who thought it was a good idea to harvest energy from Hell itself? You'd think that a couple of solar panels around God's beard would do the trick?" Tracer laughed and smiled. "Oh don't worry love, it's a lot better here!"
Then a few minutes of silence, both of them just enjoying the view. For the first time in forever, Flynn wasn't being a psycho but behaving like a real human being. "Nice view isn't it?" The Marine asked, "Yeah, before Overwatch got disbanded, I would just sit on this bench and enjoy the sunset at this exact time." Flynn chuckled, "Guess old habits die hard." Lena chuckled a bit too.
"I guess." Then time passed, the sunset eventually settled and Lena's head slumped over onto Flynn and his suit, sleeping. He smiled and picked her up, holding her bridal style and carried her to her room that was right next to his. She started snuggling a bit inside Flynn's arms.
The door opened, and Flynn set Tracer down on her fairly large bed, most likely designed for two people. She mumbled a few words before pulling Flynn in with her and cuddling with a very uncomfortable green space marine that mind you, was still in his armor save for the helmet.
Ignoring the armor and well, who he was sleeping with, returned the favor. Flynn fell asleep, despite him sleeping for at least 14 hours yesterday.
/
Next morning…
Flynn's eyes slowly fluttered open, blinking a few times. From his surroundings, he wasn't in his room, he looked to his left and-
Tracer was there, sleeping by his side. She was holding a firm grip on him and his armor. He wiggled a bit, releasing a bit of himself from the woman's grip. Lena mumbled something before holding him even tighter, making his progress meaningless.
Wiggling himself a bit harder, he released himself from her grip a bit more than last time, before rolling off the bed and landing with a small thud. "Ahh…" He quietly murmured. Tracer was still peacefully sleeping thankfully. Carefully standing up, as to not awaken the sleeping Lena Oxton. Flynn carefully walked towards the exit before some mumbling caught his attention.
"W-wait…don't go…" It was the voice of Tracer coming from her bed, he turned back at her and walked towards said bed. When he got to said bed she blinked behind him and rested her head on his shoulder while holding her arm around his neck.
"Got you!" She giggled, Flynn smirked as he quickly rolled away from her tight grip around his neck. "Not so fast."
It continued on like that for a good couple minutes before the both of them fell to floor, laughing their asses off.
/
An hour later.
Flynn left her room, much to the ire to Tracer but the day had to go on, he took off his armor piece by piece and put on the normal clothing.
Looking at the Praetor suit with the cracked visor, he realized the paint on it had faded considerably and looked horrible. He needed to do something about it. Now if there was anything he could use…
…Of course, there was a huge depot just dedicated to spray paint because all the agents had their 'sprays' that they would use to vandalize the shit out of places which left a mildly annoyed enemy seeing someone's spray all over the place.
There were so many colors to choose from, he had to pick one which, an image flashed in his head, the corpse of an Elite Guard, their red armor looked great. So that was settled now it was time to find some red paint and a mask so he wouldn't inhale the stuff.
Looking around the huge depot, he went through the aisles of colors, D. Va was there, picking out some blue while holding onto some other paint that he couldn't tell the color of. No matter, he needed to find the red. Looking through more aisles, he found the aisle dedicated to red and every shade of red.
Rushing up to it, he looked through the cans, looking for a shade of red that would look cool.
It didn't take long.
/
In the end, he took some black and red, the black for the accents and the red for the general color of the suit. He slipped on a pink particle mask and it was off to work.
/
"Hey, you there?" Flynn hasn't left his room in three hours since this morning, which worried much of the team, but when Mercy opened the door to his room all she saw was a can of red spray paint that looked like it was being hurled at her but landed in the trash bin.
"What are you doing?" The Marine turned to the doctor, a mask on with a can of black spray paint in his hands. "Look for yourself." His voice was a bit muffled but still understandable. He gestured his head towards the suit of armor that had a different color than his regular. "You painted that yourself?" She was certainly impressed, he painted it extremely well!
"Yep! Now, er, just get out of my room cause the air's filled with paint." Mercy understood the warning and stepped out the door, informing Athena that Flynn was just spray painting his armor.
A couple hours later…
He still hasn't come out of his room, Mercy, being the kind and nice person she was, took a covered plate of food with her on her way to check up on Flynn. She opened the door again to see another can of paint being hurled at her but landing in the trash bin. "You have to stop throwing those." She sternly said.
"Close the door! Paint's drying!" She closed the door, "I've been doing touch ups on this shit for hours, and I don't want it ruined now- Oh you brought me some food?" Flynn walked up to her, hands covered in red and black. "Yes. I did."
"Aw, thanks!" He took the plate from her hands, placing it on his dining table before washing his hands. Mercy, being somewhat curious of the sudden paint job of his armor, started asking some questions.
"Why'd you pick black on red?" She asked, looking curiously at the newly painted armor. "Ah, inspired myself off of other people with armor mostly looked the same as mine but painted red." He chuckled, "Makes me want to pull out the chip on that thing and load it onto another set of armor that isn't red. God knows how many times I've done that."
"Why would you do that?" She titled her head, trying to come up with an answer, "You see, back on Mars, the Elite Guards were pretty much the badasses of the base, they had an upgrade chip plugged into their suit and I would use that to upgrade my Praetor Suit. They were the badasses of the UAC base and survived Hell of a lot longer than everyone else."
"I…see, so you're painting your suit in a style like theirs to honor them?" Mercy examined the painted suit from up close. "Yeah, might as well say that."
/
The new paint job of the Praetor suit was finished. And it was lookin' great. He hasn't rested or eaten for the last five hours just to make it look awesome. He stretched his neck and turned towards the plate of food on his table.
/
It was about 7:30 PM and he has never left his room except for this morning. And he needed to get outside, cause not going outside of his room instantly makes him introverted. Not really but that's what he thought.
Yes, he knows, Hell has twisted his social skills and perception of society. Although he might not be a tad wrong.
He sighed, his hands finally clean and now wearing clean clothes, and he had a full laundry basket to deal with.
Yes, Mercy has been trying to teach him basic social skills. And they seem to have been working.
He grabbed the laundry basket full of dirty clothes to the laundry room, said room was filled with washing machines next to the dryers, currently there were a score of people inside the room, doing their laundry and all that.
Most of the washers were full so he put his dirt clothes inside the machine next to where D. Va was putting her laundry. That was he noticed Hana was wearing mismatched socks.
"Why are you wearing mismatched socks?" Flynn nonchalantly asked, D. Va turned to him and looked down at her socks before doing her best to hide them. "No reason." Flynn decided not to push. Deciding it wasn't worth the trouble. Mercy walked up to the washing machine beside D. Va's, and just like the gamer, had mismatched socks. D. Va was gone by then. "Why are you wearing mismatched socks? And why was Hana wearing mismatched socks?"
"Wait, you saw D. Va wearing mismatched socks?" Mercy just ignored the first question.
"Yes."
"Hm…" And just like that, she bolted off, leaving her dirty laundry there.
Some more people came in, some left and Flynn was all done with his laundry after he put the detergent and softener in. Then he realized, everyone was wearing mismatched socks except for him.
Deciding not to ask about it because it would probably end disastrously for him, he left the laundry room.
It was about 9 PM and most people were turned in for the night. Flynn opened up his laptop and noticed that D. Va was streaming live on Twitch. A devious idea come to his head.
Hijack the stream and prank her live.
That was what came into his idea before his eyes turned crystal green and jet black. He launched the command prompt for his laptop and went on a hacking spree that shouldn't have been possible, like last time.
Now he almost had control over the stream and needed to type one more command, but first, he needed to find something to prank her with.
Spray paint.
He knew what to do, attach a grenade to cans of spray paint and throw it in her room.
Perfect.
He grabbed the remaining cans of red and black spray paint that somehow he didn't even touch, took out a grenade and taped it to the cans. He put on his Praetor suit helmet. Then he typed the command then pressed the enter key and now D. Va's stream was hijacked and currently showed his point of view.
To make the viewers understand, he showed the camera the cans of spray paint taped to the grenade. The chat was having a third World War right now.
He quickly and sneakily got out of his room and sneaked up on Hana's room. The door was locked obviously. He pulled it open and pulled the pin for the grenade, then threw it in the room.
"Huh?" D. Va turned her head towards the door only to see cans of spray paint being hurled in her general direction before exploding in a great explosion of red and black, covering the entire room with the two colors.
Then Flynn let go control of the stream. D. Va, not letting this slide stood up and walked towards the torn open door to see who did what just happened. All she saw was a tall man sneakily re-entering his room. "Dammit. I'll get him back."
For now, the stream was shut down.
Tracer X DoomGuy? Maybe, if you guys so want it. Suggest other pairings in the reviews too.
As usual, Rate and Review.
EDIT: To Guest 'Curious' about the mismatched socks thing, it was some weird idea I got when I wrote this chapter, obviously based off another Overwatch fanfiction.