Dedication: Albinoeyes- You're brilliant, I love our chats on msn :D
DiamondCurve- Merry Xmas! Here we go, told ya I'd get there at some point xD
Author's Note: Hello! Sorry I haven't updated this in ages, I've been focusing mainly on 'Invisible'. If you want to follow the Vince from that fic the link is on my profile xD
Disclaimer: Merry Xmas everyone! I do not own the Boosh.
Warnings: Absolute filth. 'M' rated for sex
Tony Harrison. That was all it turned out to be; Tony Harrison surrounded by bric-a-brac and smashed objects. Vince and Howard both looked around the room for a sign on how Tony had got in, because he certainly hadn't come through the door.
"Harrison you flipping idiot!" Bollo thundered, "Get out of here before I use you as bowling ball!"
"Alright steady on!" Harrison exclaimed, flicking items out of his vision with his tentacles, "There's not a need to go apeshit is there?"
"I am Ape!" Bollo growled, "I always have reason to go apeshit!"
"What the hell are you playin' at!" Naboo scolded, furious, "How did you get in!"
"New teleportation spell," Harrison grinned, "I've never felt anything like it; it's like riding on the back of a speed-fuelled unicorn! Awwwwwwwwwwwww, m' back's killin' though…"
"What back, Tony Harrison?" Saboo suddenly appeared, folding his arms, "You are a head. You have absolutely nothing that resembles anything close to a back!"
Tony and Saboo launched into an argument, but were almost immediately stopped by Naboo-
"Can you lot just get out of here! You're gonna have to pay for this, Harrison, you berk!"
"What!" the pink Xooberonian widened his eyes, "All of it? Do I look like I'm made o' Euros?"
Vince took the moment while everyone was distracted in an argument to stand on tiptoe and press a kiss to Howard's cheek. Howard smiled at how small Vince was compared to him without his heels.
"I'll be back in a bit, yeah?" he murmured in the northerner's ear, "Jus' gonna get ready."
Howard knew that 'back in a bit' meant 'back in anything from an hour to two or more' and that he'd be in the shop by himself, but smiled nonetheless and nodded and watched as Vince headed back up to the flat, pretty sure that he was swaying his hips deliberately.
OoOoOo
When Vince finally did come down into the shop, his beauty sending the usual shivers down Howard's spine, a jealousy set deep within the northerner, a jealously he didn't even know he could possess. Every time someone came into the shop, male or female, he instinctively reached for Vince, like a selfish child reaching for a toy he didn't want to share.
"H'ward…" Vince huffed from between clenched teeth, trying to smile as a woman came into the shop, "You're stretching me top!"
Howard reluctantly let go and moved his hand down to Vince's waist.
"Hi," the woman leaned on the counter and coquettishly battered her long lashes, dark brown hair tumbling over her shoulders in curls.
"Hi," Vince beamed.
"This is gonna sound ridiculous, but you haven't got a pen and directions 'ave you?" she smiled, rolling green eyes, "Me and my mate have got a gig at The Velvet Onion? Its tomorrow night, but we wanted to make sure we knew the way,"
Vince grinned, disengaging Howard's finger from his belt loop and picking a pen from the selection that weren't part of the infamous 'Stationery Village'
"Here," he said, "You can have it for free, but the directions are gonna cost ya,"
She laughed and leaned close to him, "Oh yeah, what should I er, pay you in?"
Howard cleared his throat to disguise an angry growl and said loudly, "Yeah, we don't know The Velvet Onion, so you could perhaps take your pen and go and ask across the street in Rumbelow's if you don't mind,"
Smiling, Vince gave Howard a look and shook his head, "Actually, me and my partner have got a gig tomorrow night as well. D'you wanna come back 'ere and we could drop you off if you want…"
Howard felt his chest tighten painfully.
He was chatting her up.
Wasn't he?
Wait.
Partner?
What did that mean?
Was that good or too dismissive?
Should he have said 'my partner Howard who is standing here right next to me'?
Wouldn't that have been better?
And then there it was again- Vince waking him up from his panicked thoughts with a kiss.
He blinked. The woman was still in the shop.
"So, we'll see ya then, yeah?" Vince smiled.
"Yeah, ta that'd be absolutely brilliant," She replied, "Thanks Vince!"
"See ya later then, Gwen!"
As soon as the door was shut Vince was flicking the sign to 'closed' and then dragging Howard up the stairs of the flat by his god-awful jumper.
"Wh- what's going on, Vince?" Howard asked.
Vince sighed in fake exasperation, "Well it looks like I'm gonna have to show you that I'm your little Camden Bitch again and not anyone else's, doesn't it?"
"What- oh. Oh I see,"
OoOoOoO
He wondered where he got the patience from to deal with the fuss of condoms and lube when Vince gave him that delicious look. But nevertheless they were essential and soon he was preparing Vince with his fingers and a lot of kinky instructions from the smaller man.
Just a short while later when he became too restless Vince made Howard stop and got up slightly shakily, "Just do it,"
"I- I don't want this to be about just doing it," Howard said as he was pushed to sit on the bed, "I don't want to hurt you again and-" he choked on his words as the head of his erection rubbed between Vince's buttocks as the younger man wriggled above him with his back to him, straddling him.
"Howard…"
Howard held his lover's hips to steady him as he lowered himself down slowly, drawing in a sharp breath. Vince lowered himself carefully until he came to the point where there was no choice but to take one swift move and sit down fully. Both he and Howard moaned loudly as he did so, Howard trying to silence himself by pressing kisses to Vince's back.
"Oh God… you're so…" he pressed his lips against Vince's skin.
Vince, leaning his head back against Howard's shoulder while he took the time to adjust smiled, "Say it; 'M so what?" he demanded. He fully enjoyed making Howard say filthy things that he didn't want to say.
"…"
"Say. It."
"Tight… you're…" Howard groaned, "Vince please…"
Vince smiled again, "Say it properly and I'll reward you,"
"You're…" Howard muttered his words into Vince's ear, his embarrassment adding to his flushed complexion, "Your ass is so tight, Vince Noir…"
Vince moaned and moved his hips in a circular motion, gasping at the sensation it created, Howard leaning his forehead against Vince's back and muttering incoherencies.
Howard held Vince tightly, "Hurting?"
"… N… No it's… just… intense…" Vince breathed in response as Howard reached to slowly stroke him, running his hand from base to tip.
"Like that?"
"Yeah…" Vince began to move, a whimper distinctly in his voice, "Yeah…"
After a few more slow moments Vince began to push himself down faster onto Howard's erection, Howard moving the hand on Vince's length faster and more firmly.
Whimpering, Vince turned his head to kiss his lover languidly.
Within a few minutes it was all too much and Howard felt his orgasm approaching, sending shudders up his spine. "Vince…" he moaned.
Vince answered him with a noise just as passionate, between a moan and gasp, and closed his hand around the hand that was stroking him, "Do it faster…"
Just a few seconds later Vince came, pressing himself down against Howard and crying out his name, spilling over their overlapped hands.
Again that amazing feeling of Vince's muscles contracting sent waves of pleasure crashing through Howard's entire body and he clutched at Vince, shouting his name but the sound only leaving his lips in a whisper.
Though the name still rang loud and clear in his mind, through his entire being.
Vince Noir.
Panting, skin glistening, Vince leant forward, and Howard looked down and made a lustful noise that was almost a growl.
Vince moaned his way through a laugh, "Like that view do you?"
"Uhh… yeah… Vince… oh…Vince…"
"Like to see what you're doing to me, don't you…?" Vince gasped as Howard moaned loudly at the sound of Vince's teasing voice, thrusting into him hard as he came.
"Yes… yes Vince… Vince…"
OoOoOoO
"Wait, what's going on tomorrow?" Howard mumbled into Vince's chest as they lay together.
"We're meetin' her and her mate at nine,"
"Oh, why Vince?" Howard found himself sulking, "She could make her own bloody way down there!"
Vince burst into laughter and swatted him lightly, running his hands softly through his jazzy locks, "Howard. Please. Don't be the jealous type, yeah? Does my 'ead in. If I say I'm yours, then I mean I'm yours. I don't say that to just anyone. In fact, I've never said it to anyone, but with you... I want to be yours."
"Why…?" Howard murmured, "Why… out of… why did you pick me…?"
"Why?" Vince sounded slightly hurt, and it made Howard reverse their roles so that Vince was now lying on Howard's chest, in his arms, close against him, "Because you're the only person I've ever felt love for. I am attracted to you, you know, and I'll be honest, it did freak me out a bit at first but not for any of the reasons you think. It was because we'd known each other for so long, and I was sort of expecting the person I fell in love with to be a girl,"
"Oh…"
"Also, you're the only person I'd ever tell my important things to. Like... about… y'know my birth parents? I've never told anyone else about that except you, you're the only one that knows about them. If I told any of my mates half of 'em'd ditch me and the rest'd spread it 'round Dalston-"
"Hey," Howard cut him off with a tender kiss, "Don't think about that."
"I love you and I trust you and I want you and that's it," Vince laughed.
Howard pulled him close and whispered it back in his lover's ear, "You're my everything, Little Man…"
Vince hummed happily.
"Vince?"
"Mmm?"
"D'you think Naboo's noticed that we closed the shop?"