oXo

Goodnight Elizabeth

oXo

He sat in his laboratory watching the ZPM's power simulations running over his laptop screen, feet propped up on the edge and the radio singing along to the waves crashing against the edge of the tower.

He could see the reflections of the waves dancing across the ceiling of his laboratory, and he abruptly missed the warm breeze as much as the salty smell in the air. The first few chords of Goodnight Elizabeth began to play and he let his head fall to the side, watching how Weir walked past his door, talking heatedly with Carson about whatever they had shared on that day.

Then, he was alone again, not a single one of his trained monkeys disturbing him, which alone should have been odd, but somehow wasn't. It was comfortably quiet for a change, with only waves and music filling the air, and he didn't even care that the data on the screen made less sense than Simpson's last theory about the improvement of the city's sub light engines.

It was one of those days on which he had actually managed to get work done, long gone now, and it had probably never really happened in this exact scenario. He wondered if he should have followed Elizabeth, have a little talk, a little dance, but the fear that the nice dream could go downhill the same way reality had kept him on his chair.

Instead he looked around the room feeling at peace for the first time in a very long time until the little grabby hands going for a device on Zelenka's laboratory table put an end to it.

"Stop!" He bellowed and the little hands stopped mid gesture, two big dark eyes staring at him in surprise. "Don't you dare to touch that!"

"Why?" Meredith asked blinking at him in confusion and pulled her hands back with a pout.

He stood up and walked over to her and the device. "It's possibly dangerous and nothing for little girls to touch."

She pouted at him but stepped away from the desk to walk over to Rodney's desk and tried to sit in his chair. She needed a few jumps and a lot of scooting back before she sat comfortably, looking up at him curiously.

"Why dangerous?"

"It can do you harm." He explained and checked the scanner the device rested under. Data was running over Zelenka's computer screen as well. It didn't quite make sense, but was familiar somehow and he crossed his arms with a deep frown on his face. No matter how he turned the data around it remained gibberish, as all things tended to be on such days.

"This makes no sense." He sighed and shook his head.

He hadn't the patience to deal with such things, never had. Alright, so that might be a lie. He had once; curiosity pushed him forward and made him think about anything and nothing, he just hated it sometimes.

He looked up to find her sitting on his stool. It had been such a nice dream till she appeared.

"It's dangerous, and you can not touch it because we don't know what it does, alright, now go away from there..."

He waved his hand at her in some kind of shooing motion to make her move, but she just titled her head. Her eyes were so curious it hurt.

"What's that?" She asked and pointed at the screen.

"A ZPM Power simulation to determine out how much we would need to compensate for the heightened power consumption of climate control..." He huffed. The kid was really stubborn, but he could be at least as much. "Can I sit back on my stool now?"

Meredith giggled and shook her head. "Why?"

"My back kills me when I have to hunch over the controls all day, plus, I am older than you, so..." He swirled a hand at her direction. "Now, move!"

She looked at him with raised eyebrows. Alright, she probably meant the heightened power consumption, or so he guessed at least. "We are on an ice moon, pretty much no warmth through the thick atmosphere, can I sit down now?"

She nodded and smiled broadly, running for the balcony that suddenly was there, pulling him along by the hand as she went past him.

"And that?!" She pointed out at the blue expanse of ocean.

Rodney inhaled deeply and lowered his head sadly. "That's home."

"Home." She tested the word in her mouth. "It's nice."

"It was."

She looked up to him and watched him intently for a while. "It hurts you?"

"I miss it."

"Miss it." She looked out ahead forming the words with her lips a few times.

"I miss a lot of things." He blurted.

Elizabeth, the freedom to just laugh with Sheppard, maybe pursuing their thing without fear of Carter watching, the training with Teyla and Ronon, the Jumper gliding along just a couple of feet over the water, the sun over the ocean.

Atlantis as it had been, with Carson and Elizabeth and warmth and sun... Home.

But then there was the ice, and Carter and Elizabeth's goodbye, Teyla's fatherless baby... tension in the city, the darkness outside, the tenseness.

A moment later he found the child hugging his waist, pressing her face into the side of his belly.

"Don't worry!" She declared. "You don't have to hurt anymore!"

He had no clue how to react to this and raised his hands awkwardly, blinking down at the child that reminded him too much of his first encounter with his niece, and Jeannie's child in general, to be fair.

And in reality, this dream-child was most likely dead by now.

"I like you." The child mumbled into his belly and he sighed, lowering his hand to pat her head awkwardly. "And I will make you better!"

He stared back out over the ocean, a Jumper zipping along the surface like a bird in the distance, like a little hope flying away.

"I wish you could."