It had been several hours since Richard had been brought back to the ICU. Emily had been granted permission to remain by his side as well as stay overnight. Lorleai and Rory were permitted in only once every hour for a limited amount of time. So the girls camped out in the waiting room for the rest of the afternoon. The doctor had come and gone, reporting that Richard's progression was going very well. He was starting to come fully out of the anesthesia and Emily had reported he had spoken a few brief sentences to her during those times. But mostly, he just slept.
The first time Lorelai entered his room, he had still been asleep. She stood there next to his bed for several minutes and just watched him breathe. He looked so frail. His skin was pale and he was very still. Too still. If it weren't for the fact the machines were beeping and his chest was rising and falling, she would have been sure they had lied to her about the surgery being successful.
When Emily had stepped out awhile later, claiming she needed to freshen up a bit, Lorelai went in to sit with him. It took a few minutes to gather her courage but she eventually reached out, tentatively covering his hand with her own. At the sudden contact, his eyes fluttered open briefly and his head turned slightly in her direction. Their gazes locked for mere seconds but for Lorelai, it had felt like an eternity passed. Her eyes filled with tears and she gave him a watery smile. Before she could speak, his eyes drifted closed once more. However, before succumbing to sleep, she felt the tiniest amount of pressure on her hand. She choked back a sob at the simple gesture that held so much meaning for her and had the nurse not entered at that moment, she's sure she would have had Emotional Breakdown #2 there at his bedside.
She quickly left the room to rejoin Rory in the waiting room, quickly wiping her eyes in an attempt to compose herself. On her way, she met Emily in the hallway speaking with an older gentleman Lorelai recognized as her parents' primary care giver, Dr. Joshua Reynolds. She wasn't sure when Emily had called him but her only surprise was that it had taken her this long to do so. He assured Emily that Richard was in excellent hands and she had nothing to worry about in that sense. He smiled a polite hello to Lorelai before heading off to track down Dr. Saunders.
As he walked off, Lorelai felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Surprised, she dug it out and checked the Caller ID, expecting to see Christopher's name displayed. It had been approximately six hours since her last harshly worded message to him so she figured he was finally calming down enough to check his voice mail. At least, she thought grimly, he had better not have checked voice mail prior and simply ignored the situation. That was a situation she didn't even want to contemplate.
Instead, what she saw was Luke's name. In all the chaos since he'd left, she'd almost forgotten about him. She wondered idly as she pushed the talk button why she had never removed his name and number from her contact list. Surely it would be considered inappropriate to keep her former lover's contact information considering her current marriage. A simple oversight, she told herself as she answered the phone.
"Hello."
"Lorelai, it's Luke," he said. His voice sounded tired.
"Hey Luke, you've been gone awhile. Did you have trouble at the house?" Lorelai saw Emily glance over at her with surprise and apparently, she wasn't the only one to have forgotten about Luke's errand. She motioned for Emily to go back to Richard's room and shockingly, she did just that but not before a pointed look in her direction.
"No trouble. But I somehow got suckered into driving this woman around town all day."
"What are you talking about? What was wrong with her car?" Lorelai asked. The nurse stationed at the desk a few feet away motioned to the "Cell Phones Allowed in the Waiting Room Only" sign and Lorelai waved her understanding, mouthing an apology as she hurried off. She made her way down to the room as Luke began to describe his afternoon. She stopped in surprise as she saw they had a new addition to their group. Rory was sitting on the small loveseat that sat against the far wall, her head resting against Logan's shoulder. His arm was wrapped protectively around her and they were whispering quietly. Logan gave her a slight wave as she entered the room and she nodded in his direction, giving him a small smile in return.
"Nothing. Nothing whatsoever," Luke was saying on the other end of the line. "But she had no idea how to get to the catering appointment Emily had asked her to attend. I had a general idea of the area so I attempted to draw her a map. By the way, I never thought I'd meet someone as directions impaired as you but I have now. So congratulations. How this woman manages to get out of her own driveway each day is a mystery I'd really love to see solved. But since it was mostly on the way back to the hospital, I offered to let her follow me part way there."
"Sounds reasonable," Lorelai offered with amusement, as she leaned against the wall, watching her daughter being comforted by her boyfriend. She was not jealous one bit of her daughter and nobody could ever make her admit otherwise. She tuned back into Luke's rant with a slight frown.
"Tell that to this woman! Because she then had the nerve to ask if I'd just drive her there myself because she'd just had her nails done and in her hurry to get over to the house, she'd already smudged the polish on her left pinky. You would have thought she'd run over small children on her way here, she was carrying on so much. There was simply no time to go back and get it repaired, she assured me about seven times, as she had a function to attend with her husband later that night and just could not bear to have them ruined any more. By the way, apparently I need my eyes checked because when I mentioned I thought her nails looked perfect, she told me I was blind as a bat."
Lorelai smothered a laugh as his rant continued, which included the snobbery, idiocy and cluelessness of the elite upper class. After finally agreeing to personally chaperone the woman around town, she then realized they'd be taking Luke's truck. He said Tilda didn't even try to hide the distaste she felt at that and actually asked Luke if he would drive her BMW, to which he of course adamantly refused.
"The only pleasure I got out of this entire day was the horrified look on the woman's face the entire trip there and back," Luke said, laughing a little in spite of himself. "She actually scrunched down in her seat whenever we came to a stop sign or a light. So I tried to linger as much as possible, just because."
"Aww, you poor thing!" Lorelai said, laughing out loud. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with that today. But we all appreciate it, Luke. So much." Lorelai hoped her voice conveyed the appreciation adequately. She still couldn't believe he had even shown up today to begin with.
"It's ok, I was glad to help," he said. "So, how is your Dad? He should be out of surgery by now, right?"
"Yeah, he's been out a couple of hours now. He's doing fine. The surgery went well and they've got him in the ICU at the moment. But he should be out of there into his own room by tomorrow afternoon, they believe."
"That's great, Lorelai. I'm so relieved to hear that." Lorelai could hear the sincerity in Luke's voice and the depth of feeling behind his words was almost overwhelming.
"Yeah," she said quietly, clearing her throat. "So, where are you now? Back at the diner?"
"No, I'm actually pulling into the hospital parking lot."
"You are? Luke, you didn't have to come back."
"I wanted to. Plus, I have your mother's keys. I'm surprised she hasn't had the cops out for me for having them this long."
Lorelai laughed and told him she didn't even think she'd noticed the time. Things had been so crazy all afternoon and they'd all lost track of what was going on. Lorelai gave him directions to get to the ICU and they hung up. Lorelai stared down at the phone in her hands, not moving from her perch against the wall. Rory saw the bittersweet smile on her mother's face and her heart went out to her.
Lorelai sensed she was being watched and looked up to see her daughter's eyes trained on her and she snapped back to reality. She pondered trying to call Christopher again but she shoved that aside, not wanting to deal with him right now even if he did answer his phone. She made a mental note, however, to check on Gigi after Luke left.
She put the phone back into her pocket and walked over to join the duo snuggling together on the couch. She sat down in one of the chairs across from it.
"So, Luke's on his way back?" Rory asked, trying to be casual.
Lorelai wasn't fooled and she narrowed her eyes in response. "Yes, and please don't go there."
"Go where?" Rory asked innocently.
"Where your highly intelligent yet-semi-annoying brain wants to go. I'm too worn out for another fight," Lorelai said with a sigh, rubbing her temples.
"No fights, I promise," Rory assured her. "Hey, look who showed up?"
"Yeah," Lorelai said, smiling at Logan. "I see that. Hey Logan. It's nice to see you again."
"Nice to see you, too, Lorelai," Logan said with a concerned smile. "Sorry it's under these circumstances."
"Yeah," Lorelai said quietly. "Thanks." She checked her watch and saw that it was past 5:00 already. "You know, we should talk about getting some dinner soon. I bet Mom would like to get away for a bit."
"Yeah, I'm starved. We finished off the junk food over an hour ago."
At that moment, Luke entered the room carrying a bag of something that smelled suspiciously like cheeseburgers. Lorelai's stomach rumbled at the heavenly aroma and she sat up straight.
"Hey, Luke," Rory called out, waving him over.
"Hi," he greeted the girls, giving a questioning look in Logan's direction. "Logan, right?"
Logan stood up and held out his hand to Luke. After setting down the bag, he accepted the offered hand and the two shook. "Yes, sir," Logan said. "Nice seeing you again."
Luke nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking back slightly on his heels. Lorelai noted with some amusement that Luke had a slight glare adorning his features as he regarded the young adults before him. To Logan's credit, he looked a little uncomfortable under Luke's intense gaze. She recalled with some fondness the last time Luke and Logan, well, met and had to stifle a laugh. Luke's protectiveness of Rory had always endeared him to her and that certainly hadn't changed. It was heartening to know that no matter what happened between them, his affection for her daughter remained high as always.
The four stared at each other for a minute, Rory glancing between Luke and Logan with her lips pursed slightly and giving Lorelai a raised eyebrow, clearly begging her to do something.
"Oh Luuuuuke?" Lorelai said suddenly, her voice raising an octave or two.
"Huh?" Luke muttered, dragging his focus away from the pair to look over at Lorelai, who was eyeing the bag at his feet with a look that clearly indicated an attack was imminent.
"Whatcha got in there?" she asked, trying to sound casual and failing.
"Well, I figured you guys probably hadn't had much at all to eat today so I got some take out from the restaurant across the street. You don't have to eat it if you don't…"
Luke hadn't even finished speaking before Lorelai had snatched the bag and was eagerly pulling out the contents.
"Come to Mama," she called happily as she unwrapped the greasy food before her.
"Gee, Mom, share with the rest of the class, why don't you?" Rory teased, sitting up straight. "Can we even eat in here?"
"I don't see a sign anywhere," Lorelai said, not even pretending to look around. She took a huge bite out of the burger and made sounds bordering on indecent. Luke, Rory and Logan exchanged amused glances.
"Good enough for me," Rory said, standing up. "I'll go get Grandma, see if she wants to eat."
Lorelai's mouth was too full to answer and she waved her on. Luke looked over to Logan and smiled an apology. "Sorry, Logan, I only brought enough for the three of them. I would have brought something for you if I had known you were here."
"It's quite alright," Logan assured him, waving off his concern. "I'll grab something later."
"I could go and get more," Luke offered. "It's just across the street."
"No need, no need," Logan said. "But thank you for the offer. I appreciate it."
"Well, if you change your mind," Luke said, turning around and sitting down in the chair next to Lorelai.
"Thank you, I will."
The room fell into silence for a moment until Logan spoke. "Actually, I really do need to make a call. When I got Rory's message a few hours ago, I kind of left everything at the office in a bit of a mess. I should go check in and take care of some things. If you'll let Rory know that I'll be back?" With Lorelai's nod, Logan left the room.
Luke's gaze wandered around the room before settling on Lorelai. His eyes narrowed slightly as he watched her devour her food.
"Mwhah?" she said, glancing up at him.
"Swallow," Luke advised. "Before you choke."
She made a big show of chewing and swallowing. "At least I'm in the right place for it," she quipped as she grabbed some fries from the bag.
Luke winced slightly, looking down at his shoes. "Don't even joke about such a thing," Luke murmured.
Lorelai's smile faded and she nodded. "Right. Sorry"
Luke waved her concern away, not really sure where the mood had come from.
"So, Luke," Lorelai asked after another minute of silence, "moment of truth. Why are you here?"
"What do you mean? I told you, I wanted to help."
"Right," Lorelai nodded, looking at a spot on the wall across from them. "You wanted to help. Me. Just because?"
Luke shifted uncomfortably, his hands straying to fiddle with his cap. "I know what it's like to have a sick parent. When I heard, well, I remember how upset you were the last time and was concerned about you. And Rory. That's all."
Lorelai stared at him for a long moment without speaking. She honestly didn't know how she was feeling. She sighed and took a bite of her fries and chewed thoughtfully.
"You know, I shouldn't be here," Luke said suddenly, standing up. "I'm sorry, you're right. This probably isn't a good idea. I guess I just didn't think. I mean, Christopher could have been here and that wouldn't have been very good if I'd shown up with him here. Where is he anyway? Why isn't he here with you? Anyway, he will probably be here soon, right? I should get out of here before he gets here."
"Luke," Lorelai called out to him, hurriedly tossing the uneaten portions of her meal onto her chair and standing up. "Wait!"
Luke was walking towards the door, his eyes glancing back at her over his shoulder. "I'm really glad your father's going to be ok. Please, do let me know how he's doing and if there is anything I can do, I will. Just ask."
"Luke!" Lorelai called out firmly. "Stop!"
Luke stopped at the doorway and turned to face her.
"I didn't mean you couldn't be here. I'm…I'm glad you're here," Lorelai said, unable to meet his gaze as suddenly her shoes became the most fascinating thing on the planet to her.
"It's meant a lot to have you here like this," she finally continued after a long pause. "You've done so much for my mother for one thing, which frankly if you hadn't been here I don't know what would have happened. I might have strangled her and then I'd have two parents in the hospital and one is stressful enough. So really, it's good you came." Lorelai finally looked up to gage his reaction. Luke stood still, hands shoved deep into his pockets and he stared down at the ground.
Lorelai took a few steps closer to him so that they were standing toe to toe. She placed her hand tentatively on his arm and his eyes slowly followed her movements before looking back up into her eyes. His expression was unreadable as he regarded her.
"Thank you, Luke" she whispered, tears stinging the back of her eyes. "You're too good to me, you know?"
Luke shook his head. "No, Lorelai. I'm just doing what I do. This is what I do," he said, a slight shrug to his shoulders but his voice soft and low.
"Right," Lorelai whispered. "Well, thanks." They stared at each other without speaking, Lorelai's heart beating a little faster in her chest. Warning bells suddenly began to sound and she jumped, believing for a second they weren't actually in her mind. Realizing their close proximity, she dropped her hand from his arm and instantly missed the warmth of his skin through the fabric of his flannel-clad sleeve. She took several long strides away from him and she heard him clear his throat softly. She wrung her hands together, at a loss for what to say next. Thankfully, she didn't have to.
"Hello again, Luke," Emily said, appearing in the doorway and brushing past him into the room with Rory a few steps behind.
"Oh, Emily, hello," Luke said.
"How did things go at the house? Did Tilda get the plans alright?"
"Oh yes, ma'am, we found everything without issue," he said, digging in his pocket. He held out the keys to her, which she accepted and placed in her purse.
"Good," Emily said with a nod. "I want to thank you for doing that for me today. It was very kind of you."
"Anytime," he said with a smile. "I was glad to be able to help."
Lorelai noticed that Rory was glancing around the room in confusion.
"Logan's making a call. He'll be back," Lorelai told her from her place across the room.
"Oh, thanks," Rory said as she began to unpack the rest of the food.
"Logan is here? Well, isn't that nice," Emily commented, nodding her appreciation. She looked to Lorelai then, a question on her face that Lorelai clearly understood. Instead of responding, she looked down at the ground.
"Grandma, the food is getting cold," Rory said, waving her over.
Emily saw the remnants of Lorelai's cheeseburger sitting on the chair and wasn't even aware of the obvious distaste visible on her face. "Oh, thank you, Rory," Emily said, waving her hand. "But I think I'm not all that hungry after all."
"Actually, Mrs. Gilmore," Luke said, walking over to the bag. "I didn't think cheeseburgers were exactly your thing so I got you a grilled chicken salad instead. I wasn't sure what kind of dressing you liked so I had them throw in one of everything. I thought that might be more appetizing to you. I would have gotten it for all three of you except I knew at least one person in this room would refuse to eat at all if that's all I had brought so I went with the tried and true for these two."
Emily nodded with appreciation. "Thank you Luke," she said, sincere. "That does sound better. That was very thoughtful of you."
Lorelai watched the exchange from her stance from the other side of the room. Rory and Emily sat down next to each other and were talking quietly as they ate. She noticed Luke watching her and she looked away quickly. She walked over to another row of chairs nearby and sat down. She perched her elbows on her knees. She wasn't surprised when Luke came and joined in the seat next to hers. He mirrored her posture and looked at her sideways.
Lorelai suddenly remembered something he'd said earlier that day. "Luke," she said quietly, turning to look over at him briefly. "What were you coming to talk to me about?"
"What do you mean?" he asked with confusion.
"Earlier. When you said you went to the Inn to talk to me, before you knew about my father. What were you wanting to tell me?"
"Oh, right," he recalled with a nod. "I was coming to thank you, actually."
"For what?" she asked, this time it was her turn to not understand.
"You know, the letter, what you said in it," he replied, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
Realization dawned and she whispered softly, "Oh, right. The letter." Her fight with Christopher suddenly sprang to mind again and she bit her lip.
"Lorelai, what you said in there, I can't," Luke paused, unsure exactly what he wanted to say. "I can't tell you what it meant to me to hear. Really. Thank you seems so inadequate. It's just…simple. Too simple for what you did for me. But it will have to do because it's all I know to say. So thank you."
While he rambled his appreciation towards her, Lorelai watched as he removed his hat in a gesture so familiar to her it made her almost ache. She found herself completely mesmerized by this man in front of her, watching as he combed his fingers through his soft, thinning hair, and then replacing the cap firmly on his head. She had to push back the almost overwhelming urge to replace his fingers with her own. Instead, she closed her eyes but that only made her more attune to his smell, his own personal unique scent that was always a surprisingly pleasant mixture of grease, bleach and, well, something that was just plain Luke. She inhaled slightly, reminiscing briefly in the feelings that particular scent provoked inside of her. As quickly as she had closed them, though, her eyes popped back open. So inappropriate, she scolded herself. Get a hold of yourself!
"Um, you're welcome," she managed to say, her tone surprisingly steady despite the extremely unsteadiness of her insides. She looked up at him suddenly. "Wait, so does that mean you've had the hearing already?"
Luke nodded. "Yesterday actually."
"Oh, wow! That was fast! Well? What happened?" Lorelai eagerly asked, leaning forward in her seat.
Luke smiled. She didn't think she'd ever seen him smile quite that big and it was apparently contagious as she felt her own face light up in a matching one.
"I won," he said simply.
Later, she would try to analyze why she did what she did next, what made her step so far out of the appropriate boundaries of the situation and act in such an inappropriate way. But for that brief moment in time, she simply acted.
Lorelai threw her arms around his neck and squealed. Luke's arms came around her to rest on her back and he hugged her tightly in return. She could feel him laughing, a low and throaty laugh that reverberated through her chest, traveling on to places within her she tried hard to ignore. The feel of his body touching hers again after all this time was not unlike being hit by lightning. She pressed her face into his neck, breathing in his intoxicating scent, her body melting at the memories it provoked. She felt his arms tighten around her momentarily and she almost whimpered in response. For a brief second in time, she felt like she was home.
The only times Lorelai ever allowed her guard to be let down, even for just a second, was late at night when everyone else was asleep. The days were filled with as many distractions as she could come up with, convincing thoughts that she was happy, she had a family she loved. Christopher, for all of his faults, cared about her, loved her completely and she knew all he wanted was to make her happy. It was easy during the day to convince the world that he did just that.
It was the nights, however, that were her downfall. Nights when she awoke for no reason and could not go back to sleep. It was only then she would let her thoughts stray to him, just for a moment. She would remember what it felt like to have him sleeping next to her and it would leave her aching from the loss of his embrace. The feeling of utter peace and contentment being cocooned within his arms gave her was one she didn't think she'd ever be able to duplicate with another for as long as she lived.
She would lie there during her weakest moments and allow herself to remember the nights past. Christopher's arm wrapped around her middle was heavy and confining, his breath hot and uncomfortable on the back of her neck. And in one momentary second of weakness, a moment born out of sheer wistfulness she couldn't control, she would pretend it was a different man spooned behind her. Immediately, she would be filled with shame but for that one brief nanosecond of time, she would pretend. And simply relish in the feelings of safety that washed over her.
Realization dawned on her now, though, that she was not lying in bed pretending. This was real. This was happening. This was wrong. But it feels so right, she couldn't help but think as she slowly pulled away from him. Her smile didn't fade, however, as she looked him in the eyes.
"I'm so happy for you, Luke" she said sincerely, allowing one hand to remain on his arm. "You deserve no less. That little girl doesn't have any idea what she missed out on by not having you around growing up. But she's damn lucky to have found you now. She's better for it. I know it. And hopefully Anna will know it eventually, too."
Luke nodded, suddenly shy and a little uncomfortable, especially with the realization that they were not alone. Glancing around the room, he noticed Emily and Rory both staring at them. Emily had nothing less than disapproval lining her features and Rory had a sad, wistful smile on hers.
"Thanks," he said, looking back over at Lorelai. "Really, that means a lot to hear you say."
Lorelai just smiled, her eyes glancing over at her family before landing back on him. "You're welcome," she said with a quiet laugh, finally removing her hand from his arm.
Nobody noticed that someone had been watching them through the small window on the door. And as quietly as he had come, Christopher disappeared.