Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel

The air was chilly. It burned her lungs and throat with every exhale and her chest was heaving. Her legs had now gone numb, only a hint of the pain remained in her calves and knees. She noticed how the sun was just beginning to rise, making the trees look like silhouettes. It was about six in the morning, she had woken up about an hour earlier, deciding to go for a jog. Still, she questioned as to why she allows herself to do this. Jacqueline absolutely hated jogging, yet she tries doing it every morning after she wakes up. It was her way of just being with her thoughts, it allowed her to think about whatever comes to mind.

Is it really worth it though?

That's the question she always asked herself when she's struggling with breathing and her legs feel like they were on fire. Still, she always follows through with the entire thing. Then, professes to herself afterward that she's finished with it. Then the next morning comes around and she does it all over again.

"I always let myself down." She quietly scolded herself.

Standing near the edge of the lake, she remained still, catching her breath, allowing her body to cool down. She still had a few more hours. Steve's sleep schedule wasn't something she had knowledge of and she had no idea if he was actually sleeping through the night. But, just in case, she would give him a few more hours before sauntering over to the safe house.

Summoning enough willpower, Jacqueline walked back to her 'house', the muscles in her calves strained with each step. It felt like knots were forming. A hot shower should help with that. She unlocked the door and upon stepping in, her phone on the kitchen table began to vibrate. Groaning, she used her foot to close the door behind her and walked over to the table. Picking up her phone, she saw the name on the screen. Tony.

She answered. "What's wrong?"

His voice came through, hinting at a little questioning in his tone, "Why is it every time I call, you think something is wrong?"

Jacqueline raised her brows and turned to the clock, reading the time, "Because it's only seven in the morning and you never call me this early unless something happened," she crossed her free arm over her chest, "so what's wrong?"

"What, I can't just call you to check up on how you're doing?"

Not exactly. Tony would always call her about something that happened. Then at the end of that conversation, he would proceed with the whole 'how are you' side of the conversation. "Tony," she warned before continuing, "what is it?"

"Nothing," Not the answer she was wanting to receive. Before she could respond, the sound of glass being set down on a surface made her pause for a second.

"Are you drinking? At seven in the morning?"

Tony scoffed on the other end, "Oh please, Jaq you could give me just a little bit of leniency. It's orange juice, thank you very much."

She jumped the gun a little too soon. "Why are you calling me?" She steered the conversation back on the right track, actually curious about what he has to tell her.

"You know your mother called me again, in her endeavor to get me over for dinner."

This is what he wanted to talk to her about? Either way, the brunette actually managed to crack a small smile. That was very typical of her mother. Tony was someone that Jacqueline's parents have known since he was a child. And with how close the two families have become over the years, Tony was the closest thing to a son her parents had. Dinner with Tony was a recurring event that took place in their home. Especially after Tony's parents died, those dinners became more frequent.

Pulling a cup out from the cupboard, Jacqueline poured herself a glass of water, "Well, you know how my mom is, she just wants to know how you're doing."

"Knowing your mother, if I agree to another one, she's going to give me a whole pan of lasagna to take home."

"She just wants to make sure that you're well. And that you're also eating well." Jacqueline's smile widened when she heard Tony give a small laugh on the other end.

"By the way, how's your vacation with Captain America?"

"It's not a vacation, Tony." She corrected him, though her tone gave away her annoyance at him calling it that. "And, how did you know I was going to be up here?"

"I have my ways of getting information."

"Hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D. is your way of getting information."

"I don't always have to hack into things."

The statement made Jacqueline laugh. Whenever Tony wanted to know something that S.H.I.E.L.D. was doing, hacking into their system was the way to do it. Plus, he was an expert at it. Tony was the kind of guy who could hack into anything. Not to mention, he always brought up the fact that he successfully hacked into the Pentagon on a dare.

"Back onto why I called you, how is it? Being up there with the cap?"

"First off, it's not a vacation, so get that out of your mind." Her voice was so deadpanned. "Fury told me to come up here with him, so I did."

"You know, if you didn't want to, you could've bargained with Fury."

Resting a hand on her hip, her mouth hung open for a few brief seconds as she tried to come up with a retort. "Who says that I didn't want to? I felt bad for him so I wanted to help him. In any way that I can." She heard Tony hum again on the other end and her eyes narrowed, "Why all of a sudden are you calling me about this? What does any of this have to do with you?"

"I'm asking because I'm a curious person, Jackie."

"More like incredibly nosey." She recounted, but Tony went on, completely ignoring what she had murmured to herself.

"So, what's the cap like?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean."

"Tony, seriously, you called me at seven in the morning for this?" Honestly, she shouldn't be that surprised with this. Tony was known for calling her about things that were completely out of the blue. But, the fact that he was calling her about Steve, it was off-putting "I've only spent one full day with the guy, I don't even know him that well."

"You're staying with him up at the safe house. That means you are the only person at S.H.I.E.L.D. who has a good sense of what he's like."

"Why are you all of a sudden wanting to know about him?" She paused and raised a brow, "Are you going to fanboy all over him?"

"That's Coulson's job, not mine."

Of course, how could Jacqueline forget about Coulson? Possibly the only person at S.H.I.E.L.D. who has a great admiration for Steve, as in he is a huge fan of him. Jacqueline was often subjected to witnessing Coulson's fanboyism, but she often found it enduring in some sense. Coulson was someone who no one could remain annoyed with.

"You could at least give me something to work with."

"Why don't you just wait? You're gonna meet him at some point and you can figure it out for yourself."

"You know exactly why I'm asking this, Jaq."

"Um, actually, no I really don't know why this is any of your business."

"I'm pointing my finger at my father. Did you happen to forget what, or who, he always talked about?"

Jacqueline paused and rolled her eyes, not in annoyance, but in her own realization. "Steve."

"It was always about him. He wanted me to aspire to be like him. So, I just want to know if all the hype my father built up around him was worth it."

The statement made Jacqueline cinch her lips to the side, she knew about this. Tony's relationship with his father was not all warm and kind. She was a constant guest at the house of Howard Stark and his family. So much so that Jacqueline often considers the location her second home. But, she grew up around the harshness that was Tony and Howard's relationship. Of course, she was never exposed to the full brunt of it, but it was enough for her to obtain an understanding. Howard spoke about Steve constantly and it did annoy Tony. Being a witness to it, Jacqueline couldn't help but feel sympathy for Tony.

But, what exactly could she give him? Everything she had told him was true; she hardly knew the guy. There wasn't much that she could give him to get him to stop asking. "Like I said," she continued, "I hardly know him, I've only had one full day with the guy. But, from what I've seen he's well put together, kinda quiet, reserved. I mean it makes sense, he's been asleep for about seventy years and he's living in a time that makes no sense to him." Jacqueline paused and could hear Tony giving small hums, taking her words into considering. "Okay, you know what? I'm not going to do this, alright? Like I said, I don't even have that much."

"I'm pretty sure you'll gather more in the next few weeks."

She could hear his voice slur towards the end. After assessing the slur for a few seconds, she came to a conclusion. It wasn't from drinking, it sounded more like exhaustion. "Okay," Jacqueline ran a hand through her ponytail, "Tony did you pull another all-nighter?"

At first, there were only sporadic hums coming from his end before he finally answered, "Possibly."

Of course, he did. There was really no point in her asking that question. "Go to bed. Pepper is probably going to kill you if she finds out you pulled another one."

"You really think so?"

"Tony. Go to bed." She enunciated each word, making sure they all held the same amount of impact.

"You sounded like my mother just then."

The statement made her huff out a breath. "Sometimes we need to be a mother to you. Go to bed, get some rest. And, don't call me if it's about Steve. Okay?"

"Mhm."

"And, just accept my mom's dinner offer. You know she won't stop bugging you until you say yes." With one last hum of compliance, Jacqueline rolled her eyes at the conversation they just had, "bye, Tony." With that, she hung up the phone and placed it back down on the table.

Next thing on her mind was to take a shower. The sweat that had covered her body was starting to dry, leaving her with a strange feeling sitting on her skin. She wanted it off. After stepping out, the clock only read 7:45. There was still a good few hours before she was planning on heading over to Steve. Drying her hair with the towel, she debated on what she could do in her spare time. Staring at the night table near her bed she saw, From Here to Eternity, which marked a mental note for her.

Need to bring that to Steve. As she had stated to him the previous night, she would be finishing that book within the next day or so. She just finished it earlier than she had anticipated.

Standing in the room, she paused and pressed her tongue against her cheek. What to do? She could always start reading one of the extra books she brought with her. In fact, that's what her decision was. After making herself a cup of coffee, Jacqueline lounged herself in the sitting room and propped open a book, The Shining, to be exact. She never had a real interest in reading Stephen King novels. It was her friend Gabby that ultimately convinced her to give the books a try.

Her phone, which was on the table next to her, began vibrating. Pausing her reading, she reached over and glanced at the screen, then answered. "Hi, mom."

"Hi, sweetie, why are you up so early? I was going to leave you a message." Her voice came through, audibly surprised at having her call answered.

Jacqueline pouted her lips and absentmindedly skimmed over the page, "Oh, you know, I thought that I would start the day a little early." God, that was such a lie.

Her mother sighed into the phone, "How much sleep did you get, Jacqueline?"

There she goes, using her full name. Of course, her mother would see right through it. Although to be fair, Jacqueline wasn't exactly being discrete. She glanced up at the ceiling and rested the back of her free hand against her forehead, "I'll admit, not that much."

"Did you try to get to bed at a decent hour last night?"

"It was decent enough," she ran a hand through her still damp hair. "You know how it is, mom. It doesn't matter what time I try to sleep; I just can't fall asleep."

"I really wish you would see someone about it."

"It's fine mom, I promise." She paused and then continued, "I should be back on my normal pattern within the next day or so." Her mother hummed her doubt, prompting Jacqueline to try and switch over the subject a little bit. "Why are you up so early?"

"Kind of a restless night," Kathleen answered, without much hesitation. "Kept waking up, finally decided to just not go back to sleep."

That was a little off-putting. "Has it been a rough few days with dad?" She asked, brows furrowed in concern.

"No, actually, the past few days have been rather good. We went for a few walks, haven't done that in a while."

To say the news made her happy was an understatement. Good days were in rare supply for her father. Anytime that he was given a day where the illness took a backseat, called for any form of celebration. Usually, it would consist of the three of them taking long walks in her parents' neighborhood.

"Let's just hope that it will remain like that for a while longer."

Kathleen didn't respond at first, but the mood changed. "You know it never does."

Jacqueline emitted a long exhale, not finding anything she could say to rebut her mother's statement. It only made the mood sink even more. But, Kathleen was able to pull it up from the depth. "How is it in Vancouver?"

"It's...alright."

It was such a simple answer. Kathleen thought that her daughter was going to go into more detail. She never did. So, she decided to push for more information. "How is Steve?"

Jacqueline maneuvered herself until she was sitting up and blew out a breath. "He's…fine. I don't know it's just really weird. I mean, how many people can say that they know a guy who spent seventy years frozen in the Arctic? Not many."

Kathleen let out a breathy laugh, "It's weird when you put it in that context."

"Yeah," Jacqueline messed with a piece of string hanging loosely from her pants, thinking back on the conversation she had with him the previous night. "I told him about Peggy." The only response Jacqueline got was a hum, signaling for her to continue. "The moment I told him that she was alive, it was like—his face just lit up, you know? I just saw so much," she didn't know exactly how to articulate how it made her feel. "I don't know how to explain it. I just saw so much on his face."

"Did you tell him everything about Peggy?"

"That she got married and had kids…yeah, I did."

She could hear her mother hesitate for a moment, "How did he react to that?"

Thinking back, Jacqueline thought that his reaction would be completely different. The one she got was rather surprising. "He actually reacted really well. I mean, he said that he was happy that she had moved on."

"Do you believe it?"

Jacqueline shrugged and ripped off the loose string, "I think he genuinely is. But, it would be completely understandable if there was a little bitterness as well. Not towards Peggy, just bitter to the fact that he couldn't move on as well." Balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder, Jacqueline leaned back against the couch. "I don't know; this whole experience is just a little…different."

"Well, I am glad you're managing it."

"Me too." Jacqueline bit her lip, the more that Kathleen was talking, the more tired she sounded. "I told him about Grandma Addie."

Kathleen sucked in a breath, not saying anything for a good few minutes. "How did he react?"

"Better than I thought. He got really quiet when I told him she passed away."

Kathleen only hummed in response. The subject of her mother had always been a sensitive subject for her. "Mom, you sound really tired, you should get some sleep."

"I'll be fine." Her voice was hoarse and low. "But, I'll let you go now. I love you."

"I love you too, mom. Tell dad I love him."

"I will sweetie. I'll talk to you later."

She kept the phone to her ear until she heard the call end. Immediately after, a sinking feeling settled in her stomach. If only things were different.

...

Jacqueline tucked the book under her arm as she unlocked the door to the safe house. Stepping inside, it was quiet, which is what she expected. Perhaps he was still sleeping, might give her a chance to make him breakfast. She placed the book down on the kitchen island and out of the peripheral of her vision, she saw the TV was on, paused on a certain scene.

Turning her head, she recognized the scene from the documentary she had brought. "What,"

Footsteps came around the corner of the hallway and Steve stepped out, stopping once he saw Jacqueline standing in the kitchen. At the same time, her attention focused on him and for a moment they both stood there. Both acting like they were caught off guard by all of this.

"Good morning." Jacqueline finally broke the brief silence between them. The silent standing was starting to make her heart pound against her chest.

"Morning," Steve replied.

Jacqueline gestured at the television screen, "You started watching the rest of the documentary."

"Yeah. I was up and thought that I would just get started on it again." He paused and narrowed his eyes, "I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course not. You're not obligated to wait for me or anything. But, you worked the DVD player on your own."

"I watched you set it up the first time. Of course, there was a bit of trial and error."

"Right." Of course, he did. How else would he have known what do to?

She moved her attention back to the kitchen table, about to tell him that she had finished the book when she paused. One of the sketchbooks she had given to him was lying open. Curious, she reached over and pulled the book over to her. He'd already started putting them to good use. The sketches were of familiar images: buildings in New York, a faint sketch of Central Park, shop windows. These were all sights they passed on their way to the plane. But, she had to admit, these sketches were really good. Better than anything she could muster up.

"These are really good," she marveled, turning the pages, admiring every work that came up, "better than anything I could ever draw."

"How long have you been drawing?"

Jacqueline paused and laughed, "I think the word draw is too strong a word for what I was capable of. I liked to doodle. But, it was nothing like this." She continued on and noticed that quite a few of the pages were filled. She looked up, seeing that Steve was silently watching her scanning over his work.

"You drew quite a bit in this sketchbook already," she saw Steve's face softened as he nodded his head and then, she cringed slightly. "I'm guessing you didn't get that much rest last night."

"I think I've had enough rest for now. I mean, I did try. But, I just couldn't. So, I just drew and then I came out here and," his voice trailed off.

Jacqueline pressed her lips tightly and nodded. He was up all night, then. Glancing back down at the pages, she admired the last image one more time before closing the book. "Well, I'm glad they're being used properly, instead of collecting dust on my desk. But, I did finish this," Jacqueline reached over and picked up the book she had brought. "So, if you wanted to get started on it," she handed it over to him. "It's all yours."

One more thing that can occupy his time at night so that he wouldn't sleep. Honestly, sleep was one of the things he was trying to avoid. Too much was rattling around his head. Closing his eyes would only give all of it free range.

"Did you get enough rest last night?" His question threw her off. He saw the confused look when he glanced up at her. "I mean, you seemed exhausted when we flew out here."

"Oh, right," She cleared her throat having forgotten about that little event that happened. "I guess you could say that sleep isn't exactly being cooperative with me."

It was not hard to notice. Steve took in on how heavy her eyes looked, not just that. But, it was the way she was holding her stance. Her shoulders were slumped and one of her hands was pressed against the table, giving her some kind of leverage to keep her upright. "It seems like it's been happening for a while." He inquired.

"Yeah, this happens every month or so. My sleep schedule just kind of goes off kilter and it takes a few weeks for it to calibrate."

Sounded familiar. There were times, before the war, when sleep didn't happen for Steve. Whether it was his illnesses keeping him up or his own mind, this was something he found some relation with. "If you need to, you can go and rest. You don't have to be up."

"No." She quickly interrupted, shaking her head in the process. "No, it's okay. I'm fine. Once we get going here, I'll start to wake up. How far did you get on this one?" She pointed over at the television screen.

"I've been watching it for a few hours." He wasn't entirely sure how far he was in this particular episode.

"You're probably almost done then. You're watching the one on the 50's right?" Steve nodded. "I think the plan for today is to try and finish all of these."

"You really think we'll be able to?"

"If we get started right now, we probably will."

Jacqueline was starting to regret her decision to let Steve watch this documentary. It probably would have been a better choice to just select certain events and explain them. But she thought, why the hell not? They were going to be here for a while, might as well give him an entire rundown of what happened. However, she never factored in that each segment was about two hours long, that was just the minimum. A few of them are just a little over three hours long.

Why did I ever think this was a good idea?

There was really only one thing Jacqueline could find as a positive, the 60's was when things got interesting. In terms of events, it was one of the decades that was easy for her to learn in school. She was rather selective, no fault of her own when it came to what interested her. She took notice of the fact that Steve was asking questions, more than usual. Not that she minded. She preferred it, actually. It helped to keep her awake and focused.

But, with each hour ticking slowly and only getting up to switch out the dvd's, Jacqueline felt herself starting to succumb to her exhaustion. That was both good and bad. It was good because this means that her schedule will normalize after this. The bad thing is, there was a chance that she was going to fall asleep. Right here, right now. She had to get through this, besides, it would be a little rude if she just fell asleep in the middle of the documentary. Sitting on the couch wasn't helping her in this situation.

Once mid-afternoon hit, Jacqueline occupied herself with messing around in the kitchen. Even when Steve offered to help, she politely declined, telling him that it would be best if he just watched the rest of the documentary. She just needed to move around. As long as she was moving, keeping herself occupied, she would stay awake.

She managed to pull something together, despite the fact that her vision merged together a few times. That freaked her out a little, especially since she was using knives in the kitchen. Not something she would recommend someone doing; handling knives when they are on the verge of collapsing into sleep. It was extremely lucky that she didn't accidentally cut herself. But, her plan had worked. Bustling about helped wake her up and with conversations sprouting up between her and Steve, it was helping to take the edge off of her exhaustion. And it remained that way until they finally reached the last episode of the documentary.

Jacqueline checked the time. 11:30 p.m. This thing still had another hour or so left. And she was growing tired, this time it was a wave that washed over her. The heaviness grew in her eyes instantly and every muscle in her body relaxed.

No, come on. Stay awake.

Her head bobbed several times. She tried fighting it. Every act against it only made her feel more tired. Usually, she was at home when this started. That allowed her to just fall asleep, without hesitation. She was in a different situation at the moment. She just had to get through the rest of this.

She focused her eyes on the screen, watching the images flash to different scenes. Gradually, the narrator's voice grew muffled, like she was in a tunnel until the voice descended into nothing. Simultaneously, her vision blurred and her lids closed all the way. There was no chance of stopping it this time. She was out.

Steve didn't notice she had fallen asleep until he had finished the program. When he glanced over, she was curled up; knees to her chest and head resting on the couch's arm. Instead of waking her up, Steve chose to leave her alone. There was no point in having her go back to her place. She was more than welcome to sleep here. Steve placed one of the spare blankets on top of her, ensuring he didn't do anything to wake her. After turning off the TV, he retreated back to his room thinking-hoping, that he might get some decent rest tonight.

...

She awoke with a jolt. Her eyelids slowly opened; eyes, at first blurry, gradually grew clear and scanned the room. Immediately, she knew that this wasn't her room back at the other location. Then, where the hell was she? Her brows furrowed upon her recollection of the previous night and her body eased when she finally remembered. She had fallen asleep. Her hand pressed against her forehead, "Good job, Jackie." She muttered to herself, voice still groggy from having just woken up.

It was then that she took notice of the blanket that was covering her. Okay, that's weird. Her hand grabbed hold of the fabric, tired eyes examining it and recalled, specifically, that she didn't fall asleep with this thing on her. Then it dawned on her, Steve must have covered her with it. All of a sudden, Jackie felt herself smile. She didn't know why; it wasn't like it was an uncommon thing that people did. Still, it made her smile, she couldn't help it. But the minute she thought about Steve, she felt guilty. The last thing she wanted to do was fall asleep and she did just that.

Groaning at the disappointment she felt with herself, Jacqueline felt around for her cell phone, she pulled it out from her pocket to read the time. 10:30 a.m. That was a fairly decent time. Not only that, she felt amazing. Having finally gotten an actual night where she slept all the way through, has made her feel rejuvenated. Now, she doesn't have to worry about feeling exhausted when she went to work or when she did anything.

Using the back edge of the couch as support, Jacqueline pulled herself into a sitting position and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. All the while, soft footsteps appeared from the hallway and when she pulled her hand away, the image of Steve was what greeted her.

"Good morning."

The greeting made her smile, "Hi," she then gestured at the couch, "sorry about falling asleep here last night. You should've just woke me up so that I could get out of here."

Steve shrugged, he really saw no reason why. "It's fine. You seemed really tired yesterday, I didn't want to wake you up."

"Well, I'm sorry about just falling asleep out of nowhere. I was really trying my best to keep myself awake."

"You don't need to apologize." He paused for a moment and then continued, "do you feel better?"

"Fortunately, I do. Now, I have about another month, or so, before this happens again." But, she might be lucky. There have been a few times where she had gone months without having her schedule thrown off. She just didn't understand her body, or her mind, or why it did any of this.

Jacqueline allowed herself to really look at Steve and something about him struck her. He looked haunted. Shoulders were slumped in their posture and his eyes look red and—swollen? She swallowed hard, it looked like he might have been crying? No, it couldn't be from that, but maybe it was. It was either from crying or lack of sleep. But, she was leaning more towards the first choice.

Steve, although it was faint, grew visibly uncomfortable with her just staring at him. She wasn't trying to make him feel off. She was just trying to figure out what was wrong. Asking him would be a whole lot better than just staring at him.

"Are you alright?" Her question threw him off for a few seconds. It made him look lost like he didn't know how to respond to her. He finally gave her a small nod, but she wasn't convinced. "Did you get any rest last night?"

Steve remained quiet. At first, he kept his eyes off of her, choosing to simply stare at the ground. He was so still, it honestly worried her. That worry slightly diminished when he looked at her and shook his head. Something happened last night. Scraping her teeth against her lip, she pondered silently. She couldn't just move on like she hadn't noticed his appearance. It would bother her all day if she didn't do something about it, or more specifically if she didn't do anything for him.

She thought about what they could do. Maybe start one of the films she brought with her. But, when she took another glance at his appearance, probably not. She started taking simple notes. He hasn't gotten much, if not any, sleep since he woke up. And he's been cooped up in this safe house since they arrived. That's when the idea hit her.

"You want to go take a walk with me?" It was a simple thing for them to do. He's only been staying in this place for the past few days, not leaving its confines. Maybe some fresh air might make him feel better?

He was quiet and hesitant. Mostly since he didn't know exactly what he needed. "It's really nice around here," she tried again, hoping to get him to agree to her offer. "We don't have to worry about anyone finding us."

Maybe a walk is what he needed right now. It took him a moment, but Steve ultimately agreed with her offer. She also had a plan of her own. Perhaps getting him out and walking around for a bit, might offer her the right moment to really ask him how he is. Steve's trust with her is still fragile, the foundation only having been created a few days ago. So, having someone you don't really know trying to act like a therapist, or a close friend, might be off-putting. But, she was willing to try. Like she said, she was willing to help him in any way that she could. This was a moment for her to truly come through with that declaration.

It took Jacqueline a moment to balance herself. Her body was still trying to wake up. When they both were set, they headed out of the safe house and proceeded to walk along the banks of the lake. There was a path that allowed them to walk the entire perimeter and they did. Quite a few times actually. They didn't say anything to each other. Mostly due to the fact that Jacqueline gave him space. Not wanting to make him talk if he wasn't ready to. She got a sense that Steve was trying to calm himself, trying to get himself back into the right head space. Whatever happened last night, it must have affected him, deeply. It wasn't until their fifth time around the perimeter did Steve finally talk.

"You said that you know Peggy," They didn't stop their walking, just slowed their pacing. Jacqueline dug her hands into her sweater pockets and nodded in response. "And your parents were former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, how acquainted are they with Peggy?"

Time to start spilling a little bit more of information. Not a problem. "Of course, my mom has known her since she was a kid. But, they helped Peggy with a few projects back in the 70's. She valued their intellect and their loyalty—I don't know; they just became good friends."

In the process of talking about Peggy, the image of Howard popped into her head. He was someone that Steve knew as well. Howard had always called Steve a friend whenever the latter came into a discussion. Without really thinking about it, she switched the topic onto the subject of the late Stark. "My parents were also good friends with Howard as well. I spent quite a bit of my childhood at his residence."

This made Steve curious and the raised eyebrow was proof of that. "Why were you staying at his residence?"

"After I was born, my parents were still determined to do their jobs. So, I bounced around a lot, from staying with my grandparents and staying with Howard. That was when they would work or go on missions." It wasn't something she thought about a lot, but it was a very prominent point in her early childhood. Her parents were absent, almost constantly. While she did miss them, Jacqueline found comfort with being in the company of Howard and, more specifically, Tony. "Howard and his family, well, they became like family to me. Especially, his son Tony."

Steve nodded. He had read about Tony while he was back at headquarters. He became CEO of Stark Industries after Howard's death and his capture by terrorists in Afghanistan. But, it wasn't just Tony that Steve read about. It was then that he learned of Howard's fate. "Before we came up here, Fury gave me a file on Howard. I read that he and his wife passed away."

Oh. The statement made them both go silent. Jacqueline wasn't planning on talking about this. The subject of Howard and Maria's death wasn't one that she ever wanted to talk about. She didn't have whole memories of that time, just small bits of certain things.

"I remember just small things about that time," she said. "I was only like six years old. I was at home and my parents were very upset. As a kid, it was always easy for me to notice when something was off with them. But, they never told me, not at first. They kept me away from it." Jacqueline went quiet. The memories, however, few there were, still held the heavy emotion within them. "Their son, Tony, I didn't see him for a few weeks."

"Your parents kept all of that from you…for weeks?"

"No," she quickly answered, feeling the sudden need to defend her parents' decision. "They told me a few days after Howard and his wife passed away. They weren't really sure how to tell me. They just needed time. But, I just never saw Tony. It was only a few weeks, but as a kid, it felt like forever."

They both stopped along the edge of the lake. There was a thick emotion that was surrounding them—it was somber. Talking about death and loss wasn't something that she ever wanted to talk to Steve about, especially this early on. Given the fact that he's lost so much, talking about it can't be easy for him. Not one but. But, when he brought up the subject, it all just sort of, spilled out. She couldn't really help herself.

"When I finally saw him, his parents had been buried, but everything was different. He was different, for a while. He was quieter around me…more reserved. Around others, he put on a completely different facade." After that, she finally stopped, thinking why she didn't stop sooner. Looking over at Steve, his face said it all. God, she felt even more guilty now. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to talk about any of this. I'm sure that doesn't really make you feel any better."

"No, it's fine. I'm the one who brought it up." He quietly assured her. "It's what keeps me up at night."

It took a moment, but the meaning behind his words finally clicked for her. She turned her attention to him, he didn't make eye contact with her, "What do you mean?"

Keeping his gaze on the tree line, he didn't answer her right away. Probably was regretting that he had even said anything. It should have been a clue to her that he didn't wish to go further. But, being the kind of person she is, Jacqueline took a chance. "Steve, I know that we don't really know each other. Your trust with me is still new and I know this isn't my job, but if you need to talk about anything. I'm more than willing to listen."

Jacqueline was actually scared, he went quiet, not moving or saying anything. She was scared that her offer to help would be turned down. But, why would she be scared about that? It had to do with how vulnerable she felt. She's had no emotional, or mental guard up when it came to Steve. The entire time, she has been nothing, but open with him. Telling him about her life, her parents, her grandmother, and other various information. Being this open with someone she hardly knew, was surprising to her. But, there was something about Steve that held a sense of familiarity. Like she has known him her entire life. The only thing she knew about Steve was what was said to her. She supposed that keeping herself that open made her prone to anxiety. She has seen him emerge back into the subjects of his past. The only thing that Jacqueline wanted to do was help him. The idea that her offer could be rejected, nerved her to no end. She hated how vulnerable this all made her feel.

Steve, on the other hand, was questioning himself. Should he trust her with this information? Ever since waking up, there has been no one he was willing to talk to. At least, not about what he was experiencing mentally. He remembers it all. He remembers their faces and voices. All of the missions he went on with the Howling Commandos. The memory of watching Bucky fall has been seared into his mind. His first, and last, kiss with Peggy and her voice being the last thing he heard before it all went black.

Every night, since he woke up, it's all he would see when he closed his eyes. And how it made him feel was so complex for him to interpret. But, anger was always the main emotion that could be picked out. Just bitter anger. And he hated the way it made him feel, how easily anger could consume a person. He couldn't help but wonder, was his anger valid? He sacrificed himself to save others, does he really have a right to be angry about it? He wasn't sure, he needed to know.

"It's everything; the war, Peggy, Addie…Bucky. Every time I try to sleep I always see them. I see what my life was before I crashed into the ice. I think about how they looked for me and never found me. Then having to move on from that." He took in a slow, calming breath. Forcing himself to verbally speak what he was feeling made it feel raw. Made it feel more real. "I have to admit; I can't help but think about how unfair it is. Why did everyone get to move forward, except for me? I should have been able to."

God, it made him feel so self-centered. He saved lives as Captain America, he was able to save thousands more by crashing the Valkyrie. He doesn't regret that. Except, the more he thought about it, there was a small inkling of regret, in the pit of his stomach. What does that say about him? "Sounds really selfish of me, doesn't it?"

"No, it makes sense." She didn't have to think about her answer because this is what she truly thought on that matter. "Listen, I can't tell you that I understand how you feel, without it being a lie, because I don't. I've never been in your situation before, so I can't imagine what all of this must be like for you." Was it selfish of him to think this? Some might think, yes. But, Jacqueline always viewed selfishness as a complex emotion that has various degrees.

"But, I do know this. You've been frozen for almost seventy years. You weren't given the opportunity to live a full life with the people you care about. It isn't fair and I mean it when I say that I'm sorry that this happened to you. No one deserves that." She really didn't feel like this was making him feel better. Or maybe it did, she couldn't read his mind.

Glancing over at him, all she could decipher was that he was taking her words into consideration. That's all. But, it was enough to know that she was being heard. "But, you call it selfish, then so be it. If I can be perfectly honest, you have every right to be selfish right now. Be selfish. Be angry. Let yourself feel it. It just means that you're human."

Did he feel any better? Steve wasn't entirely sure. But, knowing that she finds validity in how he felt made the weight on his shoulders a little lighter. The moment he woke up, he felt alone. He knew no one and didn't recognize that world he currently lives in. Jacqueline is the only person he's been able to establish some form of bond with. And having her with him has made all of this more of a smooth transitioning. This also made him think back to what Jacqueline had said to him during their first meeting. We're on your side, Captain Rogers. And for the first time, he was starting to actually believe that statement.

A/N: So, this chapter was pretty mellow, but I kinda liked it. I went back and edited some details in the previous chapter. Nothing too major. But, the next chapter will take place at the end of their stay in Vancouver and will finally lead us into The Avengers! I hope you all are excited for what's to come! I also have a blog for this story up renegadesfanfic

A review would be much appreciated! Thank you all for the support on this fic! I really appreciate it!

(edited 5/25/18)