Chapter 4

House sat in his office in the dark. His blinds were drawn, a clear sign to anyone even thinking of entering that he did not want to be disturbed. He reclined in his chair, gripping his oversized tennis ball in silence. He knew he had a team waiting on the other side of the door for his orders. He knew he had clinic hours to fulfill. He knew Wilson was probably waiting for him to barge into his office and unload his thoughts. But he just didn't care about any of it.

He sighed heavily and stood, throwing the ball on top of his desk. Where did it all go wrong, he asked himself. Glancing over his shoulder, he stared for what seemed like an eternity at the wall separating him from the women he loved. He made his way over to the wall and gently ran his fingertips over the wood, recalling the delicate feel of her skin under those same fingers. Leaning into the wall, he pressed his cheek to the cold wood and closed his eyes.

Cameron took a deep breath and dabbed her eyes with a tissue. She composed herself and stood, randomly sifting through some papers on her desk. But her thoughts wouldn't leave her alone. Her anger had turned to sadness. She missed him. After being such a jerk, she really and truly missed him. At some point in this relationship that was still so very new, they had lost touch with each other. It seemed to occur after moving in together. Was it a mistake to do so? She asked herself that every day. In the beginning he practically demonstrated the fact that his personal space was being invaded, and she felt guilty for doing so. But in fact she felt her own personal space invaded, as well, and this place so foreign to her. This place, where they were often so intimate and where she spent almost every night since they first decided to start this journey together, seemed like some distant land where she was not welcome.

For some reason, she felt the need to distance herself from him, but she honestly couldn't explain to herself why. In some sick way she understood why he was so rude to Burton, and why he showed his jealous nature. She probably would have done the same thing.

Glancing over at the wall that separated her from her true love, she sighed. Moving toward the wall, she stretched out her hand and ran it over the smooth surface, noting the drastic difference in texture from his rough stubble that she reveled in feeling move over her body, awakening her senses. Leaning into the wall, she pressed her cheek to the cold wood and closed her eyes, willing to feel him on the other side.

He was there, right there with her, but she would never know. She opened her eyes and backed away from the wall, then returned to her desk, grabbed some charts and walked out of her office.

On the other side of the wall, House backed away from the coldness emanating from the wood and opened his blinds, meeting the expectant eyes of his team. He opened the door and entered the conference room.

"Dr. House, are you all right?" Owens asked, ever the kiss up.

Reynolds and Matthews rolled their eyes. "We don't have any cases yet," Reynolds reported.

House nodded. "I'm headed to the clinic. Page me if anything new comes in."

The three looked at him in surprise. It was probably the first time any of them had heard House volunteer to do his own clinic hours. In truth House decided that if he had to be there, he'd hide in the protective, yet emotionally dulling confines of the clinic. Away from Cameron. Away from Wilson. With no one but the annoying hypochondriacs to talk to.

"Ok," Reynolds answered reluctantly.

But no such luck. House wasn't in the clinic more than five minutes before Cuddy tracked him down.

"House!" she shouted. He rolled his eyes and held up a chart.

"Not now, got patients to see."

"You missed this morning's meeting," she said, ignoring him.

"Sorry, teacher, I promise to stay after school and wash the blackboards," he retorted.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "House, I know you have your own way of doing things around here, most of which I don't agree with, but I put up with it because you're…well…irreplaceable," she mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that, could you say that louder please?" he asked.

"But as a department head you have a responsibility to attend at least some of these meetings. How else do you expect to find out what's going on around here?"

"Easy, I just ask Wilson. He's always ready and willing to give me the scoop, that is when he's not busy attending secret meetings with you in your office behind locked doors," he replied, waggling his eyebrows. "But I always know when those are because he pathetically scribbles them into his day planner. You two are so organized, scheduling a little office nookie during the day. What would our illustrious board members think about that?"

She dropped her jaw, unable to respond before he slipped into an exam room, grinning victoriously.

As usual, he disregarded the patient and went straight to the file.

"So, you've got bad cramps…what woman doesn't…" House glanced up at the woman sitting on the exam table. He stopped speaking for a moment. She was young and attractive, so much so that he bet she turned heads wherever she went. So stunning it made a man stop in his tracks.

He blinked upon hearing her speak.

"I know, I'm not complaining, it's just…they seem worse than usual. I mean, I'm bending over in pain when they're really bad, and no amount of ibuprofen will help," the woman spoke, concerned.

He subtly shook his head to rejoin reality and read over her file some more. "So why not pay your gynecologist a visit?"

"I'm a grad student here, kind of far from home. Someone told me to just come here and save myself the hunt for a decent gynecologist," she replied, smiling slightly.

He sucked in his top lip and looked her over.

"Okey dokey, put this on and I'll get a nurse to join us, and I'll take a look," he said, opening a drawer and handing her a gown. She smiled and hopped off the table, taking the gown from him. Her finger lightly brushed his, and for a second their eyes met. He could've sworn he saw her blush. The sight reminded him of Cameron when she was just a young doctor working under him, her blushes always subtly reminding him of her feelings towards him.

He shook the thought away and left the woman alone in the room. He closed the door behind him and approached the nurse's station.

"I need a nurse in exam 4 for a gynecological exam," he said, noting the file. He tried to keep his thoughts clinical, but he couldn't help but remark to himself that this woman was, indeed, gorgeous. He was a man, after all.

A few minutes later he entered the exam room with the nurse. The patient was seated nervous on the table. Her long, dark hair fell over her shoulders, framing her flawless face perfectly. Her tan skin was a contrast against the light blue gown. She met his eyes briefly, and in them he thought he saw a flirtatious twinkle.

Shit, he thought.

"Ok, just lie back and place your feet in the stirrups," he said softly, seating himself on the stool and rolling closer to her. The nurse stood over his shoulder as the woman positioned herself, and he heard her breathe deeply.

House completed the exam professionally and quickly.

"Ok, you can sit up," he said, removing his gloves and grabbing her file. The nurse helped the woman to sit up.

"You have endometriosis," he said, making more notes.

"Oh," the woman said, surprised.

He looked up at her. "No big deal now, but when you consider conceiving a child it may come up. In the meantime I'll prescribe something that might help with the cramps."

She sighed and smiled at him. "Thank you."

"You can get dressed," he said, handing her a slip of paper. He smiled at her and stood, then left the room with the nurse.

Minutes later he was at the nurse's station, searching through a stack of files. One of these has to be somewhat interesting, he thought. He felt a hand touch his shoulder.

He looked behind him to find the woman he had just examined.

"I just wanted to say thank you again, Dr. House," she said, reading his ID badge. "Like I said, I'm new around Princeton and I really don't know anyone. Anyway, this may seem kind of forward, especially since you just examined a very intimate part of my anatomy," she said quietly, laughing to herself and shaking her head. "But I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink sometime?"

He was shocked at her forwardness, even after, as she said, he was just very close to a very intimate part of her. He was flattered. This youthful beauty before him who probably could have any man she wanted.

"What are you in grad school for?" he asked, finding himself intrigued.

"Educational administration," she replied, smiling.

"You're a teacher," he noted.

She nodded. "On sabbatical right now so I can go full time for my master's. Normally I teach high school kids."

"What subject?"

"Music."

His eyes lit up. "You're a music teacher?"

She giggled. "Yes, why does that surprise you?"

He smiled and looked down. "It's just…you look like, I don't know, you should be stalking runways at Vogue or something, not teaching a bunch of pimply-faced teenagers how to play the tuba."

She laughed again. "Yes, well, looks aren't everything. Music has been a part of my life since I was born."

There was something about her, something so intriguing and fascinating. From the sound of it they probably could talk at length about their love of music. But despite her beauty and obvious similar interests to his own, he couldn't help but listen to his heart, the heart that still beat for Cameron.

His smile softened. "Look, as your doctor it would be unethical for me to get a drink with you."

"You're not my doctor anymore, you were only my doctor ten minutes ago."

"True, but…well, to be honest, I'm seeing someone," he said quietly.

She lifted her chin as if she finally figured him out. "Oh, I see. Sorry, I didn't mean to assume…"

"No, it's ok," he cut her off.

She watched him a moment. "Is it serious?" she asked him.

"What?" he asked, surprised at her question.

"Your relationship with her…is it serious?"

He paused for a moment. "As serious as a heart attack," he admitted, more to himself than to her.

The woman smiled and nodded. She reached out and squeezed his arm. "Well, thanks again, Dr. House." Her arm dropped to her side and she turned slowly, then walked away from him and out the door.

House remained still for a moment, attempting to process what had just happened, before turning his attention back to the stack of files. Out of the corner of his eye, though, a figure caught his attention. He glanced up and found Cameron standing only a few feet away, the look on her face evidence enough that she was there long enough to see him smiling and chatting with another woman, a woman who touched his arm repeatedly in an obvious flirtatious gesture. How much she had heard, however, he did not know.

One thing was for sure, she didn't look happy. In fact, she looked as if she would lose control any second.