The streetlights flicker and then they fade
Like every good intention that I've had.
--
Fuck.
I've been pacing back and fourth for 10 minutes.
Where is Lilly?
I was only trying to fix things, that's it. I just want everything to be okay.
I want everyone to be okay.
I want Joe and Lilly back together, I want Miley to stop calling me, and I want Kevin to dump that stuck up whore.
You can't always get what you want.
Apparently.
My brothers are really starting to piss me off.
Kevin's all lovey-dovey with Madison.
Joe is heartbroken and currently doing drugs.
And me? I'm just sitting in my car, waiting for a solution.
Fuck you guys, there's someone out there who cares.
Right?
Mom and Dad are too far away, and I'm not sure they'd like it if I vented to them about Joe's coke addiction.
Well there's Miley... nevermind, I am so not going back down that road.
"Son of a bitch!" Lilly says, angrily stepping out of the back door to our apartment building.
"Lilly!" I call, running over to her.
"What happened?" I ask, catching up.
"Your brother is a complete ass."
I give her a small smile.
"I know."
She lets out a cackle.
"I can't help Nick, I'm sorry." She says, walking to the road, raising her hand to hail a cab.
And there goes my solution.
"Wait, Lilly, I'll drive you home."
--
I drive her home.
She asks me to come in.
I accept the invitation, having nowhere else to go.
We laugh at old memories, and she asks what exactly happened between me and Miley.
I tell her it's not even worth bringing up.
She chuckles, and pulls a bottle from under the counter.
I look at the label, seeing a farmiliar name there.
Jack Daniels.
She offers me some, I accept, becuse drinking with Lilly seems like a pretty good way to spend the evening.
Our laughter becomes louder, our words become less coherent, and things change.
I realize how pretty her eyes are, and she keeps touching my hair.
Then it happens.
--
Kevin wears his purity ring proudly, Joe's has been missing for quite some time now, and mine?
Still on my finger, less prominent that Kevin's, but more meaningul that Joe's.
It hasn't really been a big issue in my life, sex, and the rings were my father's idea.
If I wanted to have sex, a ring wasn't going to stop me.
But, I never felt the need to...
Until now.
Lilly is so pretty, and i'm not thinking clearly.
Intoxication.
She smiles, and she's not pushing me into it. She's innocently touching my hand, it's me who's thinking the dirty thoughts.
I avert my eyes from her, I need to think.
My eyes meet hers once more, hers are a shade darker, and that's when I know.
I'm not the only one with dirty thoughts.
"Lilly..." I whisper.
And my lips meet hers. Instantaneously, I feel it, the spark.
The fire, the explosion, the need, and suddenly I know what Joe feels when he gets high.
Lilly's lips meet mine fiercely.
It's so on.
The war with our mouths continues, she tastes like whiskey and a new addiction.
I'm gasping and she's gasping, as she pulling me up the stairs to her room.
She falls onto the bed, and I fall onto her.
I kiss her neck as I pull her shirt over her head.
I think of how many times Joe must've done this.
Guilt.
But, the thought passes quickly, Lilly nibbles on my neck, and that's all it takes.
No going back now.
--
My ring lays on the table, I pick it up, turning it over in my hands.
Lilly is sleeping, her head lying on my chest.
I've sobered up.
I sigh, thinking of what I've just done.
But, I certainly don't regret it.
It was perfect, and wonderful, and that's the problem.
It was too perfect, the way sex with someone you love is supposed to be.
And I don't love Lilly... Do I?
Author Note;
I'm SUPER SORRY that it took so long to update. I've been busy. And, I've recently fallen in love with Camp Rock fanfics. Especially ones with tess/shane angst, write me one, and I'll love you forever. They're a wonderful couple. I don't like smitchie, at all. Anyways, i've already started the next chapter, so that shouldn't take to long. Thank you for sticking with me, and my erratic updates.
i love you guys