a/n: sorry for the delayed update. In the past three weeks, I graduated from college, moved to a new apartment, and started a new job. Should be more regular now. I would really appreciate any feedback (good or bad).

Thanks!

Text conversation is underlined

Kurt kept raising his eyes; Blaine and Nick were patient with his progress. Finally Kurt's eyes met Blaine's. He took a breath.

Nick stood silently, waiting for Blaine or Kurt to make a move. Knowing both of them so well, he could see the tension in Blaine's stance and Kurt's features. He knew that both were trying to gage the reality of the situation. The difference was that Blaine had months to prepare to see Kurt...Kurt had mere seconds. Knowing Kurt's penchant for the dramatic overreaction, Nick was not surprised to find the door to the Hummel's house slammed in their face.

Blaine was crushed.

Nick reacted instantly, grabbing a stumbling Blaine as he nearly fell off his crutches. Just as he fell into Nick's arms, a gut wrenching sob emerged from deep within Blaine. For months, Blaine had imagined his reunion with Kurt. He believed that his best friend would capture him in his arms and never let go. He envisioned a long night of catching up and talking and just finally being happy and together again. In his wildest dreams, Blaine even imaged Kurt kissing him and finally moving their relationship to something more than just friends. The problem was that the Kurt of Blaine's imagination was not the boy who stood on the other side of the thin door. Blaine's Kurt was gone...lost some time over the past year to popularity and later depression.

Blaine slowly began to calm down. He gained control of his breathing and, though tears wear still rushing down his face, he was finally able to stand on his own again. Nick tentatively let go.

"Blaine, maybe we should go. Kurt obviously does not want to see us right now. We should let him process and then come back some other time. Or, better yet, we should meet him for coffee at the Lima Bean or something. Some place public and neutral. Let's just give him the time he needs. You know Kurt, he freaks out and then comes around. Let's just go."

Without letting his eyes leave Kurt's door, Blaine responded to Nick. It was as if he knew that Kurt was still sitting on the other side of the thin wood, listening to their conversation. "I understand that he needs time, Nick. I need to see him. I need to hold him. I know that this year was not easy for any of you but you're right, Kurt does tend to take matters to the extreme." Blaine began to cry again. "He tried to k-kill himself Nick. I can't just leave him. I will stay out here all night and wait until he is ready to see me."

Nick helped Blaine sit down on the top steps. He texted the rest of the guys, letting them know that it was going to be a long night and that they would need coffee and milkshakes to make it through.

NICK to WES: Hey man. Kurt won't come out and B won't leave. Coffee? May be a long one.

WES to NICK: Dude. No. B just got back. There is no way we are letting Kurt mess with him again. He deserves better. Tell him we are leaving and having a sleepover and my place. Let's go.

NICK to WES: You don't see him. He can't leave Wes. He is a mess. Kurt literally took one look at him and slammed the door in our face. I think that he needs to be here.

WES to NICK: No. He doesn't. He needs to be with people who actually give a shit about him. Make him leave. Do I need to come up there?

NICK to WES: Wesley, you really don't understand do you? They are in love. Always have been, always will be. B can't leave here and after all the shit he has been through I think that it is time he gets what he wants. So, if he wants to stay until next Thursday, I will be sitting here, next to my best friend. He needs to cope and integrate back into his life at his pace and in his way. So, if he needs to see Kurt, I will be here SUPPORTING him through that. You should too.

Nick continued to rub Blaine's back as he waited for Wes's reply. He was trying so hard to not get aggravated as he texted. He did not want Blaine to feel any more stress or pressure. He could see the toll that the interaction with Kurt had on his injured friend and just wanted to offer a small amount of comfort to ease his suffering. In that moment, Nick wished that Kurt was the boy he used to be...the one who lived with his heart on his sleeve and would have done anything to help a friend, especially Blaine. But, if Kurt couldn't be that person, Nick knew that he would have to do.

WES to NICK: We will bring peanut butter milkshakes and fries. Be back in 20.

Nick let out a breath and told Blaine about the food. His heart continued to break into a million pieces as he saw the lost and pained look in Blaine's eyes. Finally, Blaine spoke.

"I know that you all think I am crazy for sitting here and waiting. But since you told me that Kurt tried to... I just, I can't think of anything else. What would I have done if I came back and he was gone? I don't know that I could have handled that. The entire time I was in the hospital, I was bored out of my mind. I had watched everything good on Netflix and I couldn't read because of my concussion. So do you know what I did, Nick?"

Blaine actually stopped and waited for Nick's response. He wanted to be sure that he had Nick's full attention before revealing his big secret...his secret shame and comfort.

"No...what?"

"I thought about you guys. I wasn't ready to talk to you, but I thought about you. Constantly. I imagined what your lives would look like now. I pictured who each of you would be dating and what classes you would be taking and how you would be coping. I feel asleep every night envisioning my friends. I tried to imagine whether my absence would have any impact on you b-"

"You thought that it WOULDN'T? What the hell, Blaine? How could you think that? There was not a day that went by that you were not on all of our minds. We waited by the phone for word on you." Nick was getting frustrated; his voice rose. "We thought about you constantly. We called Coop obsessively. How could you even imagine that you being in a coma would not affect the people in your life?" By the end of his speech, Nick was shouting at Blaine.

Blaine looked defeated. He responded in a barely audible whisper and refused to meet Nick's eyes.

"Because who was I, Nick? I was Kurt's best friend...then he trashed our friendship. I was in the Warblers with Wes and David and Jeff...but I was never as close to them as they were to each other. And you...I relied on you and trusted you..." He looked Nick in the eye. "...it was never enough. I was never enough. Face it, I was the one that you all came to when you needed something or someone to talk to. I wasn't BFF material." Blaine ended sarcastically.

Nick was in awe. Suddenly, there were tears rushing down his face. He had never felt so guilty in his life. He had abandoned Blaine before the accident. He knew Blaine was right...in the months leading up to it, Nick had found a home with the lacrosse team and never made an effort to introduce Blaine. Even when all the drama with Kurt was happening, Nick refused to take sides. What seemed nobel then, now seemed selfish and immature to Nick. He should have been there for Blaine.

Blaine broke the silence. "I don't blame you, Nick. I wouldn't have wanted to be my friend either. The point of this is that I sat up day and night while doing therapy thinking about all of you, and when I thought of Kurt, I pictured him happy and healthy. I just need to see that Kurt before I can leave."

The two descended into silence again. It was not awkward, but it was obvious that both were lost in thought. So much so that they neglected to hear Wes approaching with the food. Both graciously accepted their meals and then returned to the quiet. They had so much to say and catch up on, but nothing seemed right after their conversation.

Half way through his milkshake, Blaine began to sob. Unlike earlier, Nick's comfort was not enough to calm him down. He was hyperventilating and spiraling fast. Nothing Nick was doing was working...he needed help.

NICK to WES: Shit. IDK what happened. B is having a panic attack.

WES to NICK: Coming. What did you do?

NICK to WES: Nothing. We weren't even talking. Hurry!

After texting Wes, Nick turned his complete focus to Blaine.

"B, you have to calm down. Okay. Calm. Breathe like me...in, out, in...no...come on Blaine." Nothing. "Blaine, SHIT! BLAINE!?...do we need to go to the hospital?"

Between the sobs, Blaine let out a small "Nn-n-no." Nick began to focus on what Blaine was saying. What he heard broke his heart. Blaine was constantly repeating "Why doesn't anyone want me? Why am I not good enough? Why is it always me?"

Nick felt someone sit on the other side of Blaine and push his arm off Blaine's shoulders. He figured it was Wes, finally there to relieve him of the emotional drama. For the first time since Kurt slammed the door, Nick looked at his clock and realized they had been sitting on Kurt's porch for over 5 hours. As he considered that chuck of time, he noticed how much quieter it had gotten...Blaine had stopped sobbing. Nick looked up to thank Wes only to see Kurt with Blaine cradled in his lap.

*THIS IS A TRANSITION/FILLER CHAPTER. More exciting reunion next chapter!