Scarred Chapter 4: Confrontations, a twilight fanfic

Thanks to my awesome beta paradigmofsecrecy. You really helped me with this one. I was having a bit of trouble with it, so thank you.

Read on!!

Scarred

Chapter 3

Confrontations

Bella

This is my life.

I kept saying the words over and over, and they still hurt like hell. I want to accept it. I want to be okay with it. But I'm not, and it's all so fucked up.

My mother's dead.

Phil is dead.

I'm dead.

Not in the actual sense, but my heart died that night.

I woke up in a sweat again after dreaming about the fire. Emmett wasn't there this time. I was glad because I didn't want him to see me like this after the good day he had. I barely spoke to anyone and yet somehow I found myself with 4 new friends. I don't deserve friends, but they found me nonetheless.

Alice is a little pixie ball of energy.

Rosalie is a beautifully aggressive, got your back kind of bitch, in the best way.

Jasper is calming. There's nothing else that could describe him as sufficiently.

Edward.

I don't know.

People talk about what it means to have friends, and I know what to feel for a friend.

But Edward.

I don't know.

His voice.

His laugh.

His face.

I fell asleep again, but this time my dream was different.

My mom wasn't there.

I didn't hear Phil.

I just was.

Thursday

"Bella." Emmett voice sounded from my door.

"Ready." I said and grabbed my bag.

We made it to school before they did, so we sat in the truck bed for a while.

"How you doing?" Emmett asked. I shrugged.

"Okay, our new friends seem nice." I smiled to him. He got this dreamy look in his eyes, and I knew it was Rosalie induced. I hit his shoulder playfully. "Rosalie's a looker."

"Yeah," He said enthusiastically. "Not only that, but she loves cars. She even wants to work on this classic with me some weekend." He gestured to the truck. "And she's….well she's…." He sighed.

"Emmett Swan is in love, ladies and gentleman." I teased him. He laughed but shrugged.

"I just know we have something. She's amazing." He said. Just then, we heard a car pull up next to us. We saw Rosalie driving up in a red convertible BMW with Alice sitting shotgun. On the other side, we heard something else pull up. I turned and saw the two Ducatis pulling in.

Is this what a heart attack feels like?

Edward was, well, sexy. He had low-rise jeans that seemed to ride on his hips. And when he lifted off his helmet, his shirt rose allowing a little sliver of skin to show. The boy had muscles. He even had that v-line going into his jeans. He was wearing the same jacket as everyday, but with a green shirt that made his eyes look so good. I think my mouth went dry just looking at him. I looked up at his face and his eyes were on me. I looked down quickly with a new blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Hey guys." Alice said happily and went over to hug Jasper.

"Hey." Rosalie said to us, well Emmett mostly. She sat next to him in the cab, and they started to talk about what to do with the truck later. I tuned them out and stared at my lap. I felt a presence beside me and turned to see Edward next to me giving me a half smile.

"Bella." He said and sat next to me. The wind began to pick up and my hair started to fly around my face and fall out of my messy bun. Edward seemed to automatically reach over and put some hair behind my ear. I looked into his eyes and I felt this feeling pass between us and needed to get out.

"I have to go." I muttered and all but ran inside. I heard my brother saying something but I couldn't make it out.

I sat in class for a while before anyone else came in just thinking.

This is why I don't get close to people. I freak them out because I am a freak. I'm an ugly freak.

I didn't know I was crying until a tear hit my desk. Emmett sat next to me in class, but didn't say anything. He knew when I just needed time.

Class was slow and tedious because I knew all of this already. I was in all AP classes in Arizona, so it was just a big review for me. I wanted to hit my head on the wall repeatedly just to have some sort of excitement. I chickened out every time though.

"Bella," I turned while walking which was a bad idea. I tripped, waiting for the impact, and was thankfully caught. I looked up and tensed when I realized it was Edward. He let me go quickly. "Sorry." He said and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

"Don't worry about it." I said looking at the ground.

"I'm also sorry about this morning. It was stupid of me. I just thought that……" He trailed off, but I didn't know what he was going to say. The warning bell rang, and we both said our goodbyes before going to our classes.

I was quiet all through lunch, but the table was full of chatter. Edward didn't sit with us. I don't even think he was there. I felt terrible because I knew I made him uncomfortable.

"Bella, what do you think?" Alice asked me.

"Huh?"

"Well, I was thinking we could all have a hang out party thing at my house Friday, all six of us."

"Um, I guess. I just have to talk to Charlie."

"Dad will be fine with it." Emmett said tearing his gaze away from Rosalie to smile at me. I gave a small smile back.

"Great!" Alice bounced in her seat and Jasper looked at her lovingly. I wish I could have someone who looked at me lovingly, but I was too disgusting. My good mood was immediately gone with those thoughts.

"Hey Alice?" I said hesitantly.

"Yeah."

"Is Edward sick?" I asked looking down.

"No, why?"

"Just wondering where he went, I saw him earlier." I whispered. They were quiet, so I looked up and saw Alice's nervous look.

"He had somewhere to be." She said cryptically and went back to planning tomorrow night.

Friday

"How about you guys just follow us to our house." Alice suggested as school finally let out.

"Yeah, that would be cool." Emmett said and gave a kiss on the cheek to Rosalie before he helped her into her car. "Bye, I'll miss you." He said sweetly. I just rolled my eyes.

"It'll be like 10 seconds." I yelled at him. He scowled at me, and she just giggled.

"I'll miss you too." Then she leaned in to whisper. "My big bear." He growled and I almost threw up right then.

I hurried over to the truck before my ears and eyes needed to be poked out. Edward was leaning against his bike when I came around the back of the truck. I stopped dead in my tracks, and he looked up. He smiled timidly, got on his bike, and left.

We followed them, and I gasped at the monster of a house they called home. It was incredible, and did I mention huge. I stepped out of the truck and found two of the most beautiful people ever. The man was tall, blonde, and looked really young. The other was a woman that looked that she came straight out of the forties and too young to have teenagers.

"Mom, Dad, this is Bella and Emmett." Alice said as we approached them. We walked over to them and Emmett held out his hand for them to shake.

"Emmett Swan and my twin sister Bella." He waved over to me. Carlisle shook his hand but Esme hugged him. He laughed at her loving nature, but I also saw the sadness. Loving and caring women made him miss mom.

"We've heard so much about you." Carlisle said kindly. He held out his hand for me, but I looked down at my feet ashamed. He smiled to say it was okay. Esme smiled as well and took his hand holding it at their sides.

"She's a bit shy." Emmett said to them. They just nodded and led the way into the house. I followed quietly and saw Edward was behind me.

"Hello." He whispered.

"Hi." I said quietly.

"Okay, we have pizza on the way and movies." Alice said happily. "We're going to watch some for a while then play it by ear." She plopped down on Jasper's lap after he sat on the couch.

"You kids have fun. Your mom and I will be out late, so behave. You do have the Chief's kids here and all." Carlisle laughed and helped Esme into her coat. Then they were gone.

"So, which movie first?" Alice asked as I sat on a recliner.

"We have pretty much every Baldwin brother movie imaginable." Rose said with a giggle. "Before they all got old and weird." Emmett laughed at her.

"Well let's see." Jasper said. "The usual suspects, Hunt for Red October, and Back draft."

"Back draft. Billy is totally the hottest." Alice said. The guys groaned and I tensed. Fire was not my favorite thing to have around, and a movie about it was not my idea of fun.

"No." I said quietly. Everyone looked at me and Emmett took the movie and put it away. He walked over to me put his hands on either side of my face and looked in my eyes.

"We won't." He said simply. I nodded and looked at my lap. He let go of my face. I felt like an idiot.

Everyone was quiet as Alice put in another movie. I looked up and saw that everyone had sad looks on their faces. I felt so guilty for ruining the fun. The doorbell rang and Edward went to get it.

"That will be $34.50." A voice said.

"Here. Keep the change."

"Thanks man." He walked back in with 4 boxes of pizza.

"Order's up." Edward smiled at me. I blushed but smiled back.

"Hell yeah, I'm starved." Emmett laughed. He winked at me and I relaxed. He always knew how to diffuse my stress and intense situations with his child like attitude.

We were into the second movie and I was curled up on the recliner. I felt a blanket being laid on me while I was resting my eyes. I looked up into the green eyes I couldn't get out of my head all week.

"You looked cold." He said softly. I nodded.

"Thank you." I said and snuggled deeper into the chair with the blanket. When the movie was over, Alice jumped from her seat and walked over to me.

"Make over time!" She clapped. Edward just groaned.

"Alice." He scolded her. "If she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to." I gave him a thankful look but she wasn't done.

"But she's so pretty and I want to show her how to accentuate that." She whined.

"Alice, I really don't want to." I said.

"Nonsense." She pulled the blanket off me. "Come on Rose, let's get her all beautified." She said happily.

"No, please." I said as they stood in front of me.

"Bella, we're your friends. We just want you to have some fun." Rose said. I shook my head at them.

"Guys, just leave her." Emmett said in his big brother bear voice. They looked over at him and they seemed a bit upset that he used that voice with them.

"Emmett." Rosalie said sadly.

"No, Bella doesn't want to. She doesn't have to." He said firmly.

I felt horrible yet again.

"You know what guys, how about I go home. It seems at every turn I just make things awkward." I said standing up. "Emmett can you get a ride home tomorrow?" He nodded and handed me the keys. "I'm sorry, guys. You'll have a lot more fun without me." I told them as I passed them to get my bag.

"Bella, we're sorry." Alice said deflated.

"Yeah, just stay." Rosalie smiled at me.

"No, I knew this was a bad idea." I walked to the front door.

"Wait!" Edward said and ran to me, but I was already out the door.

"What?" I asked once I was in the darkness and hiding my tears.

"Why are you running away from us? We just want to be your friends." He said sadly.

"Why?" I said and my voice broke. "Why do you want to be my friends?" I threw my hands up in the air.

"Because we like you." He said and then raked his hand through his hair. "Because I like you." He said softly looking into my eyes. He took a step closer and I took a step back.

"No. I can't do this. I'll just hurt you. All of you." I turned and got into my truck. He grabbed the door to stop me and spun me around.

"I know you think you're fucked up or something. Hell we all are, but that's why we want you here. We want you to be with us." He yelled.

"HEY!" Emmett shouted from the porch.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly running his hands through his hair again. "I just wish you would let us in. Be our friend." Emmett was next to us by now.

"You okay?" He asked me. I nodded and got back into the truck.

"I'm sorry just have fun." I said and turned the key and drove off.

Edward wasn't having it and he climbed onto his bike and followed me. I drove for about ten minutes when I realized he wasn't giving up. I pulled over and jumped out.

"WHAT?!? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I yelled at him. "You come into my life and demand answers. I don't even know you."

"Because you won't let me." He shouted back and stood with me behind my truck and in front of his motorcycle. I shook my head trying to fight off the tears. "I get it. You're scared. I know." He said softly and took a step towards me.

"You don't know anything." I whispered and my voice broke. "You can't just act like you know what I go through everyday. Do you even know why Emmett and I had to move here?" I said stepping closer to him with determination.

"Something about your mom." He said softly. I laughed one of those hysterical laughs.

"Yeah, something about my mom." I said back. I sighed and leaned against the back of my truck. "This is so confusing." I muttered to myself. He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

"Tell me about it." I looked up at him and he seemed just as broken as I was in that moment.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just know that I'm not a very good friend. I'm not even a good sister." I said with all honesty.

"Don't say that." He said softly reaching for my hand. I didn't pull away, which caused him to smile at our clasped hands. He ran his fingers over my gloved hand and I wished with all I had that I could feel his skin on mine.

"It's true. In the last six months, I have never seen my brother happier and it's not because of me." I said as he moved closer.

"From what I see, the bond you two have is one built on a great amount of love. He does what he can to take care of you. When you're happy he's happy."

"Yes, and when I'm sad he's sad. And I have been sad and angry and confused so much lately. I know I drain him and I just wish I could go away so he could be happy." I said as he stood directly in front of me. I cast my eyes down and he pulled at my chin to look at him.

"Going away is the last thing he would want. The last thing we all want." I looked into his eyes and saw sincerity. He seemed to like what he saw in my eyes because he smiled. "Now, let's go back. The girls will leave you alone. I'll make sure of it, but I think Emmett has your back too."

"Oh, I feel so bad about that." I mumbled.

"Don't feel bad. If they get pushy, just fight back. If you don't want to, just say no." I think he meant more than just the girls when he said that. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay."

"Great, follow me." He said giving my hand a light squeeze before letting go. He climbed onto his bike and I got into the truck to follow him back to his house. I rolled down my window as I heard his bike come even with my truck door.

"When you want someone else to talk to besides your brother, I'm here. It gets easier if you talk about it."

That night was a shift. I knew that. I had never felt this way before and I didn't know what to do. He was caring, understanding, and something told me he had some secrets of his own. I was also scared of what he would think of me. We still barely knew each other and the new Bella wasn't who she used to be. Not on the outside or the inside. I just hoped he would stick around after he found out all about me. I did know one thing for sure; I was falling for Edward Cullen, and hard.

REVIEW!!

So, do you like the direction it's going?

I hope you guys like it.

I was also wondering if you liked me to alternate chapters. One Bella's POV and the next Edward's.

Just let me know. I aim to please.