A/N: Sorry for the long delay, real life got in the way a bit, and I have had barely a free moment. Things have calmed down again now though, so should be able to get back into this. Rating is still T, but there is some strong language.
Chapter 3:
Tony pulled the super glue out of the its secret hiding spot underneath his desk drawer, and glancing around just to be sure Gibbs wasn't somehow right behind him (the man had a crazy way of just showing up at the worst possible time), he quickly glued the phone into the cradle. Next he pulled a bag of balloons out of the middle drawer of his filing cabinet and began blowing them up as quickly as he could. It was slow going though, his plague-scarred lungs protesting the strain, causing a deep ache in his chest.
Come on, DiNozzo, you filled an entire dorm room quicker than this back in college! Fucking plague. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he decided just filling one drawer would be enough, and quickly moved to fill the knee-drawer of McGee's desk
Tony was just sitting back down at his own desk when he heard the ding of the elevator. He made a show of pressing the button on his monitor, and settling into his desk to appear as if he had only arrived moments before.
"You're here early DiNozzo," Gibbs observed, using a tone that demanded a explanation.
"Yeah, Boss, just walked in, wanted to get a head start on the paper work. Set a good example for McGeek and Ziva, " Tony replied easily, not exactly lying.
Gibbs grunted in response, and Tony wasn't sure if Gibbs believed him or not. At the moment though, he didn't much care, as he focused on breathing deeply, and easing the ache in his lungs before he had coughing fit that would definitely worry Gibbs.
Stupid, DiNozzo! Stupid plague. Stupid lungs. A few deep breathes later, Tony felt the he ache subside, and pretended to be focused on the "paper work" in front of him. – ignoring fact he could feel his boss studying him. His mind wondered though, now that he was out of work, and he found himself watching the clock, hoping McGee would arrive soon and provide a distraction.
"Got a hot date, DiNozzo?" Gibb's asked, after seeing Tony look at the clock for the fifth time in as many minutes.
Tony looked away from the clock and back at Gibbs sheepishly. "No, Boss. Sorry, I just need some coffee," he replied as he got up and made his way to the break room.
As soon as Tony was out of sight, Gibbs quickly made his way over to this senior field Agent's desk. He knew Tony had been lying when he said he had just gotten there; he had parked right next to his Mustang, and the engine had been cool, and his jacket and other personal affects were already put away – never mind the fact his agent looked tired as hell. Judging by the currently open files on the computer, Tony had been here quite awhile – having caught up on all paper work, and even pulled the files for a few cold cases.
He knew having Kate's sister here had been hard on everyone, and it didn't surprise him that Tony hadn't gotten much sleep last night and had come back to work at some ungodly hour. Usually though, when Tony knew events were going to hit him hard, he ended up at Gibbs' place with a pizza and a six-pack. Gibbs would work on the boat, Tony would ramble on about anything and everything until he was comfortable enough to really talk, or until he was so exhausted he collapsed on the couch. In fact, the only times Tony didn't show up, were times that he felt he was at fault, or had failed somehow.
Does he still think he should have been able to save Kate? Gibbs wondered. Moving quickly, so DiNozzo wouldn't know he had been snooping, Gibbs returned to his desk. Thinking back to all the nights Tony had showed up in his basement following Kate's death, and the talks they had had, he was pretty sure Tony wasn't blaming himself. They had both come to realize there was nothing either of them could have done. Then what is going on, DiNozzo ?
Tony returned to the bullpen, coffee in hand, to find Gibbs sitting at his desk deep in thought. Just as he was about to make a quip about thinking too hard, the elevator dinged signaling the arrival of McGee and Ziva.
"Morning, McGeek, Ziva," Tony sing-songed overly cheerily.
Recognizing the mischievous tone McGee eyed Tony wearily before sitting down at his desk, "Morning, Tony."
"Yes, good morning, Tony. You are in quite a good mood this morning, did you wake up with a woman this morning?"
" Awww, are you jealous, Zee-Vah?"
"Of you, Tony? Ha. I happen to find being in a relationship a lot more enjoyable than empty sex," she responded with an air of superiority.
Tony turned to McGee and in a stage whisper, "She's jealous!"
Ziva glared at Tony for a moment over her computer monitor before settling into rolled his eyes and settled in to get caught up on paperwork before they got their next case. Tony turned back to the cold case he had been studying before Gibbs arrived, and waited for the phone to ring, or for McGee to get something from his desk drawer.
An hour later, Tony had turned up no new clues on the cold case, and McGee's phone had yet to ring. He pulled out his phone and sent off a quick text to Abby. Grinning, he closed his phone, and turned his chair slightly to have a better view of McGee's face.
As if on cue, McGee's phone started ringing. Tim reached for the receiver, and when he lifted it, the whole phone lifted, and continued ringing.
"Seems your phone is a little stuck, Probie, " Tony said, laughing.
"Yes, Tony, real mature. What if the call was important?"
"Then they would have called Gibbs or me, " he replied smugly.
Tim didn't have a good response to that, so he just scoffed, and took the nail polish remover Gibbs was offering him.
Tony looked around the bullpen, Gibbs looked annoyed, Tim looked down-right pissed, and even Ziva seemed a bit annoyed at the distraction. Who get's annoyed about being distracted by paper work?
Before any or all of them could explode at him, Tony got up and made his way to the elevator.
"Just where do you think you are going, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, a bit of an edge to his voice.
"Ducky wants to see me." Gibbs nodded at his response and Tony disappeared behind the elevator doors.
He intended to go to autopsy and talk to Ducky, but realized that would just make him face the emotions he was trying to run from. Hitting the call-cancel button he rerouted the elevator to the ground floor. Just need some fresh air.
Tony made it outside, and turned right, heading to a little deli/bakery he knew a few miles away. He loved the place. Kate had hated it, no healthy tofu options, but he and Jeanne had often shared rushed meals there, as it was close to the university he was supposed to work for. He sat down at an outdoor table, thankful for the beautiful day, and smiled at the waitress who brought him a menu.
He looked at the menu, his eyes immediately going to Jeanne's favorite order. He really missed her. He knew he screwed up when he fell for her, but at the time, he didn't care. He had really loved her. He pulled out his wallet, and from the center fold pulled out a picture of himself and Jeanne he still carried with him.
"Maybe I should have chosen you," he said to her picture. "We could have had a life, not all of it was a lie, you know. Just my job, really…" Or maybe I should have taken that promotion to Rota, gotten out of DC, avoided so many messes. Actually, I probably should have just quit after Baltimore. Should have realized I am an idiot, I couldn't even see that my own partner was dirty, that should have been a sign I would suck at this job. That I would hurt people, would get people killed.
"I'm idiot, " he told her, as he slid the picture back in his wallet.
"Ya think, DiNozzo?"
Thirty minutes, then an hour passed and Tony had still not returned from his visit to Ducky. Gibbs stood up, "Going for coffee, " he stated as he made his way to the elevator.
"Oh, hello, Jethro, to what do I owe this visit? We don't have another case do we?
"No, Duck, no case, just looking for DiNozzo, thought he was down here talking to you."
"I did ask him to come see me at some point today, I was concerned as I got in around 5:30 this morning, and he had already been here awhile, and I actually startled him. Kate's sister being here has no doubt stirred up a lot of memories for Anthony, and I just wanted to check in the with lad. However, he has not yet been by."
"Thanks, Duck, " Gibbs said, already half way out the doors on his way to track down his wayward agent.
Dammit, DiNozzo!
On a hunch, he headed toward the deli he knew DiNozzo used to frequent. As approached the deli, he saw Tony sitting at a small table just outside the door, with his back to him. He appeared to be looking at a photo, lost in thought. Gibbs snuck up silently, just in time to here to hear the younger man mutter "I'm a idiot" in a ton more broken than Gibbs had ever heard from his second. He knew Tony would shut down and run if Gibbs acknowledged the vulnerability DiNozzo was clearly feeling. So he decided the best course of action was to go with normalcy.
"Ya think, DiNozzo?" he asked as he sat down across from his agent.
"Oh, Boss…what are you doing here?"
"Could ask you the same, DiNozzo, went down to autopsy, but you weren't there."
"Oh yeah, about that, I just needed some fresh air. Was starting to get a headache from all the paper work, " Tony half lied.
"Right. Well get back to it, Agent DiNozzo, and DO NOT wonder off like this on the clock again, or you will be riding desk duty for a week," Gibbs stated as he stood up and began walking back the way he came. He paused as he passed Tony's chair, giving his shoulder a small squeeze as he added, "And stop by autopsy on your way in, Ducky wants to speak with you.
"On it Boss, " Tony replied, following his boss back.
The walked back to NCIS together, and just as they were splitting ways at the elevator Gibbs put a firm hand on Tony's shoulder, forcing he younger man to look at him. Gibbs took in what he saw, not liking what he found he squeezed gently and stated, "My place tonight, cowboy steaks, you bring the beer." He walked away before the younger man could protest.
Great, Tony thought, I need to find a way to get out of THAT now…
Sighing, he walked off to autopsy to talk to Ducky.