What if
Emmett crashed Mr. Jeep
The music blast as the monstrous red jeep sped two hundred miles per hour on the twenty mile speed limit road. Emmett turned the music up even louder and the speakers shook the car so it jerked back and forth. Renesmee shook her hair out and slapped Emmett a high five. She smiled and tried to tune out some of the unwanted music, to no prevail.
"Emmett?" she tried to scream over the music, "I can't hear myself think."
Emmett gave her a dirty look and turned the music all the way up. The sound blocked out everything but the small dinks as rocks hit the windshield. Emmett was now driving more violently. He swerved onto and off of the road at ease and ignored the spider web cracks that were forming on the glass.
Renesmee tried again. "Emmett turn this down right now!" she growled. Emmett simply looked at her and then back at the weathered road. Renesmee, sick of the nonsense, slammed her fist into the radio. The music broke off and the truck stopped twitching.
"What did you do that for monster?" Emmett growled. Renesmee shrugged her shoulders.
"I was getting a headache."
"I thought you liked my music."
"Emmett I enjoy listening to music, which I was before, right before you turned it up so I couldn't even hear it anymore." Renesmee answered.
"Fine be like that." Emmett said and he starred toward the road again. Renesmee looked out of the window toward the wildlife that was scurrying away in fear of becoming road kill.
Suddenly a huge grizzly bear stumbled out of the woods. He looked around, looking for the source of the disturbance. He spotted the huge jeep and let out a feral growl. Renesmee looked out and gasped.
"Ooooh, look Emmett, a bear."
Emmett looked out her window and yelled, "Holy crap, it's a big one, I want it!" and he swerved off the road, and onto the wild terrain. The bear broke into a run and darted through two large cedars. Emmett tried to follow it but failed to realize that he was driving the truck equilivant of Frankenstein. He crashed into the large trees. One fell onto the hood while the other set of a chain reaction, leaving a huge domino pattern of downed trees.
Emmett jumped out of the wreckage and ran after the huge animal. Renesmee unbuckled her seat belt; she had the conscious to actually wear one, and got out. She checked out the vehicle to see the damage. Four shot tires, no hood, roof crinkled like a piece of paper, and the bumper got a mouthful of leaves.
"Emmett, you big baboon, you killed the trees!"
Suddenly Emmett appeared out of the trees, his shirt was ripped and he was covered in a lot of blood. His mouth was full of the red liquid and his hands were soaked with mud.
"So?" he asked.
Renesmee looked like she'd rather kill him (or better yet sick Al Gore on him) then discuss the idea of a cleaner Earth. But two paramedics stepped into the little clearing. Now that they were paying attention, Emmett and Renesmee could hear sirens in the background, blanking out everything else. The paramedics, one male one female, had green faces and the women two looked like she was going to hurl her lunch.
"Are… Are you alright sir and madam? We just got a call saying there was a crash" she asked and she put her hand on her stomach.
"Umm… yeah?" Renesmee said and she stepped over to help the poor women out.
The male went over to Emmett who was starring at them like they were seconds. He smiled sadistically. Renesmee smiled at him but hissed way to low for the doctors to hear, "Priorities!" Emmett stopped smiling and looked sheepishly at them.
"Yeah, we just kind of crashed Mr. - I mean my jeep." Emmett knew the paramedics would not understand his stupid nickname for his car.
"But sir, you're covered in blood."
"So?" Emmett asked.
"Here, let's just get you to the hospital, you were just in a very bad accident." The women cooed and she covered her mouth. Renesmee patted her back.
"No!" Emmett screamed and he looked like they where asking him to eat a whole cow.
"Sir! Have some kind of respect for yourself." The male asked and he tried to get Emmett over to him.
"Wait, who's on duty, who's the doctor?" Emmett asked.
"Dr. Cullen." The female answered.
"Umm… yeah I don't feel so good, I think my arm is like broken or sprained or hurt." Emmett suddenly yelled.
"Fine, good then come here." The male answered and he escorted Renesmee and Emmett to the ambulance. He opened the door in the back and tried to usher Emmett inside but Emmett shouted, "Shotgun!" and jumped into the front seat. Renesmee climbed into the back with the female and sat down on the small cot. The male paramedic sighed and ran up front to the other seat.
He started to drive and Emmett stuck his head out of the window like a dog and let the wind fly through his hair.
"Wee-woo wee-woo, we got an ambulance here people get out of the way!" Emmett yelled whenever they met someone on the road.
Fifteen minutes later they hit the hospital, they probably wouldn't of taken so long if Emmett didn't make the paramedic stop every five minutes by adding comments like, "Ooh, he looks like he's in pain," or "Holy Crap! Ebola breakout!"
The female tried to usher Renesmee onto a stretcher but Emmett intervened. He jumped onto it first and sat down like a king, with one had around Renesmee's shoulders and one pointing frantically while he screeched, "Faster slaves!" through the hospital.
Finally they hit the operating room and the paramedics told them to sit down, while they waited for the doctor to come. Emmett jumped onto one of the operating tables and tried to look dead, his tongue was out and everything, while Renesmee took one of the medical robes off the wall and put on a nurse's mask and plastic gloves.
Renesmee was halfway to putting on all the lights around the medical table, and turning on a saw when someone stopped out side the door to talk to the paramedics.
There was a hurl and the women barfed into a nearby garbage can. "Sorry, I can't stand the blood." She murmured.
The new arrival looked at her and ordered her to go and see one of the nurses. His silver voice was charming and he looked at the door anxiously. Emmett grabbed a sheet from off a nearby table and covered himself with it. A second later, Carlisle stepped in.
"Renesmee, what are you doing here?" he asked and ran over to the sheet covered table. Renesmee shrugged.
"Do you like my lab coat? I think I look like a nerd but it's really comfortable." She started talking and pulled at collar of the coat.
Carlisle pulled off the sheet and groaned. Emmett was lying like a classic dead body, except his tongue was still out and he had his hands wrapped around himself like he was giving himself a hug.
Carlisle punched him in the side and Emmett opened his eyes and sat up. "I'm alive!" he shouted and Carlisle kicked him in the chest.
"No you're not."
"Anyway umm… I broke Mr. Jeep."
"So what do you want me to do about it? I should really punch you right now! I thought you were a patient, why are you covered in blood?"
"I ate a really, really, really, big bear!"
"Good for you, now get out." Carlisle yelled and he tried to push Emmett out of the room.
"Only if you give me some money so I can buy another Mr. Jeep." Carlisle sighed and took a few dollars out of his pocket.
"Here, now go." Carlisle yelled. And Emmett skipped out of the room.
Carlisle and Renesmee stood outside the operating room and tried not to make a scene. But one of the patients came over and asked Carlisle "What did you do to him?"
"Who, oh, that, he's always like that." Carlisle shrugged.
"He's always covered in blood?" the patient pondered.
"Pretty much."