"You honestly like The Mortal Instruments?" I asked Brandon, raising my eyebrows.
The dark-haired boy chuckled, nodding almost hesitantly. "Yeah, I do. I know it's probably weird for a guy to like that kind of stuff, but that's just the sort of person that I am. It's a really good book series, and the characters have a lot of depth."
I smiled. "It isn't weird at all. Who's your favorite character?"
"Jace," he answered immediately, almost as if he had been anticipating the question. "Who's yours?"
"Well, Simon," I said truthfully. "We're both a little awkward and we get uncomfortable in certain situations, but he also has this incredible sense of humor that kind of reminds me of my best friend. It isn't often I come across a character that reminds me of myself and Maya, so I guess you could say I'm emotionally attached to him." It felt strange to be admitting all of this. Although Missy shared my obsession with reading, she had never read The Mortal Instruments. Sure, she tried to keep up whenever I constantly babbled about it, but I knew that it had to get boring after awhile.
Brandon grinned slightly. "That's really cool." It looked like he was considering saying something after that, but he was quickly cut off by the dulcet tones of people arguing with each other. I pressed my lips together firmly, trying to hide my second-hand embarrassment over whatever was going on. Usually we didn't act this way around one another, so it was most likely just the change of environment, but it was still no excuse. We were all high school students now, about to go into our junior year. You'd think we could act like human beings around new people, instead of rabid animals.
Maya and Lucas came stumbling down the stairs, both of them storming into the living room. "You're an idiot if you think she honestly cares about you, Huckleberry," my blond best friend hissed, her tone acidic. "We've had our experiences with Alyssa before, remember? She's a stereotypical popular girl, and that's how she likes it. It isn't like she even wants to ever change."
Lucas rolled his eyes, crossing his arms defensively. "Give me a break, Maya. She's a sweet girl, you just don't know her."
She laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, I've heard that before. 'Oh, he's a sweet boy, Maya, you just don't know him well enough,'" Maya imitated in a high, soprano-reminiscent voice. "And look where that got all of us. You're acting like the same jerk I met in Texas, and I don't like it, Sundance."
I swallowed hard. It was easy to realize that Maya had been mimicking me, but I just hoped that Brandon hadn't caught on. It might inevitably slip that Lucas and I used to be something more than friends, but this wasn't the right time for that.I wasn't sure why I thought that; All I knew was that the thought of Brandon finding that out so soon absolutely repulsed me. And I was rarely repulsed.
Lucas tilted his head towards Brandon and I, grinning bleakly. "Are you sure you want to continue this argument out here, Maya? Because if so, I'm all for it. There isn't anything I've got to lose anymore, how about you?"
Deciding that now might be a good time to finally step in, I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Um, guys," I started, forcing a nervous laugh. "I don't think we should be at each other's throats throughout this trip. It isn't fair to the people who actually live here."
Lucas raised his hands in surrender, although there was the slightest hint of a smirk lighting up his usually expressionless face. "Hey, don't blame me. Maya's the one starting crap with everyone."
I stared at him blankly, too overwhelmed with shock to think of anything to say. I snapped back to reality after the briefest of moments, abruptly stepping towards him, grabbing onto his arm and literally tugging him out of the room, heading into the kitchen instead. I quietly closed the door behind us, letting go of him right away. "What's wrong with you today, Lucas? You're acting even less like yourself than usual."
"Leave it alone, Riley," he mumbled, trying to push past me.
I stayed firmly rooted in place, crossing my arms and standing up straighter. "This isn't the Lucas we know, and I want to know why and I want to know now."
He rolled his eyes at me, but seemingly gave up on trying to rush away, slumping his shoulders. "Why do you even care, Riley? There's nothing you can do to help me, which is perfectly fine. I don't want your help. I just want to be left alone by everyone, but you guys aren't really making that possible."
It was the very first time Lucas so much as implied that he might be needing help. Wanting to latch onto the rare opportunity to improve our friendship, despite how irritated at him I currently was, I forced a small, reassuring smile. "What do you need help with?"
"Nothing you can fix. Can you get out of my way, please? I kind of don't want to be around anyone right now."
Exhaling, I dropped the happy facade, my false smile fading as quickly as it appeared. "You cannot keep running away from all of your problems forever, Lucas. They're still going to catch up to you one day, you know that, right? And consistently pushing away the people who honestly care about you is only going to make things more difficult once your issues finally do catch up to you. You'll be completely alone, and that'll make it even harder to sort through everything."
"Stop acting like your father, Riley," he said with a bitter smile. "You aren't him. You're just a sixteen year old girl with your perfect family and perfect life. You don't understand anything that's going on, and you won't. No one understands until they're forced to suffer through it. The sooner you realize that and let it go, the better. I mean it."
It was as if something had shifted the entire atmosphere between us. Instead of being Lucas and Riley, we were currently strangers. Two people who knew nothing about one another, and apparently never would. It was like everything we had been through together over the years, the things we had promised each other, suddenly meant nothing. It was like nothing even mattered anymore. We were more than your typical individuals trying to engage in a normal conversation. Instead, I was just a simplistic stranger to him, desperately and pointlessly trying to fix him.
Some things can't be fixed, though. Especially if they wanted to stay broken.
"I understand a lot more than you think, you know," I snapped, my tone icy. It was a rarity, coming from me, but I hadn't been lying when I said it felt like things had completely shifted. Not only the atmosphere, but ourselves, as well. He wasn't acting like Lucas Friar anymore, so why in the world should I act like Riley Matthews? We were strangers all over again. I could act like however I wanted to act like now. "Underestimating people is something you should typically try to avoid. It only leaves you looking like a thoughtless jerk."
He raised a single eyebrow. "Isn't that exactly what I am?"
I shrugged. "Maybe now. But that's not how things used to be, if you recall. Things were different for awhile, and I don't know what prompted you to change back into the person you were in Texas, but I hate whatever it is. Because it's turning you into a totally different person. A stranger. And there's nothing I can do to fix it. I don't even want to anymore."
"Good, that's what I was hoping to hear. Now can you let me through? I'm not getting any younger here."
"No," I snapped again. It was getting harder and harder to resist the urge to start yelling. It wouldn't help the situation whatsoever, but admittedly, I was getting pretty mad. It was more difficult than usual to control yourself when you're angry or frustrated. "Why do you have to treat people like this? What screwed you up so badly that you can't even act civilly around anyone that isn't Alyssa Allen?"
Lucas snickered. "You, perhaps? You screwed me up, Riley. You promised all of these wonderful things about never running away, never leaving, always being the person that would stay, no matter what."
"That's who I am, Lucas, why does that mean anything?"
"Because you lied," he whisper-shouted. We both risked a glimpse at the kitchen door behind us, overhearing the light footsteps tentatively approaching. Neither of us said a word, and the footsteps faded away. Lucas turned back to me, his eyebrows furrowing. "You lied. That's what my problem is."
I shook my head, confusion ruling over my annoyance. "I didn't lie. I'm still right here, like always. I haven't left, why would you even say that?"
Lucas chuckled, although it seemed vaguely humorless. "You have to be joking. You ended things between us, remember, Riley? I didn't. You decided that it wasn't worth it anymore, and I guess I can respect that. People always get fed up with me. But there's the answer to your stupid question, Riley. Can I just go already? I'm tired of this. And everything."
"It wasn't like I broke up with you for no reason," I hissed, basically ignoring the last part of his little speech. My bad. "You could have gotten kicked out of school again! Not just that, it was like you havebno remorse for what you did. It wasn't even the first reckless thing you had done. I was hoping the breakup might have knocked some sense into you, but I suppose it didn't."
Lucas bit his bottom lip harshly, fleetingly glancing around the kitchen before reluctantly locking his eyes on me again. "I don't want to talk about this right now. I'm tired and the time difference and jetlag or whatever is finally getting to me. I want to go to sleep, so please get out of my way, Riley."
Of course he didn't want to discuss it. He never did. I pursed my lips, taking a couple reluctant steps away from the kitchen door. "Sure. Whatever."
He lightly brushed past me, not bothering to say another thing to me before closing the door behind himself.
. . .
I stumbled down the stairs, messily running a hand through my hair. The morning light was seeping through the huge windows, and for the first time in my life, I pointlessly wished that the sun would go away for awhile. Maya was trudging behind me, just as slow and exhausted as I was, although I didn't quite understand why. She had fallen asleep before eleven last night, and meanwhile, I had been wide awake until three, contemplating my whole life. It turns out that eight o'clock comes really early when you've only slept for a few hours.
"Why do we have to wake up early?" my best friend groaned, her exasperation obvious. "It's summer vacation. I wanted to sleep in until eleven at the earliest. And then there's you, hopping out of bed at eight in the freaking morning like you have any responsibilities."
I sighed, pausing once we reached the living room. "We're guests, Maya. Don't you think it might be a tad bit rude to sleep in until almost noon our first morning here? We should at least try to make a good impression on these people."
Maya yawned loudly before waving her hand dismissively. "Cut me some slack here, Riles. Ranger Rick's mom already can't stand either of us, and I sincerely doubt his stepdad or stepbrother-"
"Brandon," I interrupted instinctively.
She raised her eyebrows. "Huh?"
"His name is Brandon, Maya."
Maya exhaled impatiently, quickly waving her hand around again. "Whatever, Brandon, then. I doubt either of them would care. Why do you care so much about making great impressions on everyone, anyway? It isn't like we're going to know any of these people after this summer. They aren't your family, Riley. Honestly, Lucas has more to worry about than you."
I didn't say anything, hesitantly pushing open the kitchen door. Sure enough, early risers that they were, Farkle and Missy were already sitting at the counter. Surprisingly, Brandon was also there, talking to Missy about the pros and cons of some rock song I had never heard. "Good morning,"I said somewhat nervously, hesitant to interrupt their conversation.
Brandon snapped his head up, instantly breaking out into a wide smile. "Hey, Riley, Maya. I didn't expect to see you guys awake. Farkle said you might be planning on sleeping in."
Maya threw her hands up in frustration, shooting me one of her death glares. "See?!" she snapped. I laughed, sitting besides Brandon at the counter and linking my hands together. Maya tugged open the door to the fridge, muttering incoherent things that probably had a lot to do with me dragging her out of bed so early in the morning (for her, anyways).
"Is Lucas awake?" I asked Farkle, raising my eyebrows slowly. I didn't want to appear too curious, still eager to avoid any questions about anything involving Lucas, but I couldn't help it. Despite everything that went down between us last night, I still worried about him. Sue me.
The fact that he had implied that he needed help with something honestly scared the life of out me. Looking back on my experiences with humanity, it was never a good sigh when people implied that they needed help after pushing almost everyone in their life away. It was one of the first signs of depression, and I didn't know how to fix that.
Farkle nodded, setting down his glass of orange juice. "Mhm. He left with Alyssa about fifteen minutes ago. Apparently he wanted to show her around the city."
Of course. Lucas had lived out here for a couple weeks, although not in the same house, obviously. Back in eighth grade, he had lived in an apartment with his mother, although his aunt, Rachel McGuire, sorted everything out for us. It turned out she was planning on moving to New York City and, with a little help from my parents, aunt, and uncle, she got on her feet in the Big Apple and suggested that Lucas live with her instead. It was something I still couldn't thank her enough for, despite everything that changed a couple months ago. She had done something incredibly selfless, and she deserved endless amounts of gratitude.
Needless to say, my feelings hadn't changed too much since eighth grade. Aside from getting stronger.
Another thing I would never want anyone to find out. Especially Lucas or Maya.
"Are those two dating?" Brandon asked, casually breaking into our conversations. Missy jerked her head towards me almost instinctively, and Maya stumbled away from the fridge, her gaze locked on me. Even Farkle was watching me, concern in his pale blue eyes.
No pressure.
I forced what I hoped was a nonchalant shrug, mindlessly toying with my fingers. "Not a clue. You would have to ask him."
It wasn't like we had the greatest of chats recently, anyway.
. . .
A/N: Hey, guys! Sorry in advance for the short author's note this evening, I'm not really feeling that great. c: I want to thank you guys for all of your wonderful reviews! You guys are so fantastic. I love hearing your thoughts, so please feel free to leave your opinions on this chapter! We found out a little more about what happened between Riley and Lucas a couple months ago, and I promise, you'll be getting the full story shortly. Thanks for reading!
I don't own Girl Meets Wooorrrllddd. Yaay.