Author's note: Sorry again for that little rant last time, its the only way I can make my point clear to anonymous reviewers, and I don't just want to block Anons because I've gotten some very sweet reviews from anonymous readers. The point is I'm back with a real chapter like I promised.
Warning: Thus far I think we still only need to worry about language. I think I'll add an OOC warning just in case, but given what Bowser just went through I think he deserves to be a bit out of character at least for a while.
Disclaimer: SOPA can suck it. I'm not harming anyone, and not making any money off this. And if I were, it wouldn't be enough to put up with that bill.
Never Look Back
"I don't like this at all...It smells like Black Magic." Kamek growled.
"Is that a figure of speech or can you actually smell magic?" Peach asked innocently as she cracked an egg over her mixing bowl.
"Good question, here's a better one:" Kammy hissed at her, "Why the hell are you baking at a time like this?"
Peach choose to ignore the female Magikoopa's choice of words and answered politely "Baking is my hobby. When I feel like celebrating I bake; when I'm sad, I bake, and when I'm worried about something I bake." She glanced up passed the kitchen door toward the stairs, "And I think Bowser could really use some cake right now."
After passing out again they'd dragged him back into bed and waited again for him to wake up, and about another hour later he did. Though, considerably calmer than last time, he was clearly still distressed about his predicament and locked himself in his temporary room refusing come out or to talk to any of them, throwing a silent tantrum.
"His ungratefulness doesn't need your pity!" Kammy spat. "Besides, if you're making him a cake then why are you using cupcake molds?"
"You can ignore her." Kamek snapped with an irritated growl. "She's just mad because the last time she tried to bake King Bowser a cake he ended up being sick for three days and he forbade her from ever baking again, or even entering the kitchens."
Peach gave an acknowledging nod to Kamek while Kammy smacked him. "I'm using cupcake molds for the rest of us. Bowser's cake is in the oven." Satisfied with the batter for the cupcakes Peach set the bowl aside and shifted her attention to a new mixing bowl in which she was making pink frosting, "Mario, Luigi, could one of you run to the store and get me some strawberries?" She called.
"Strawberries." Kammy snorted, as if the very idea of them made her sick. "And why do you need strawberries for a cake?"
Peach rolled her eyes slightly as she mixed a bit of food coloring into her frosting bowl. "Ignore her again." Kamek told her, "She's allergic to strawberries so she just can't comprehend that there's no better match then chocolate and strawberry."
"There is too! What about chocolate and caramel?" Kammy shouted at him.
Kamek made a face, "Caramel and chocolate should never mix." He replied. "And you can't convince me otherwise so don't even try."
"What about chocolate and mint?"
"Hmmm, true mint and chocolate are really great together, but they don't taste good with strawberries."
"Then get rid of the wretched strawberries!"
"Don't you talk about strawberries like that!"
Peach rolled her eyes again, if this was a daily thing with the two Magikoopa then she sort of understood why Bowser was so short tempered with them. Mario pushed his way passed the two Magikoopa holding a bowl of fresh strawberries, "We had-a some in the fridge-a." He explained before Peach could tell him how fast that had been.
"Well after you didn't have any three times in a row, we can't be too careful, thank you!" She said with a wink. The oven dinged and Peach excused herself to pit on mitts to grab the cake and put the cupcakes in.
She left the cake to set and cool for a few minutes while she the poured cupcake batter into the molds and put them into the oven, setting the timer for the perfect temperature for cupcakes that weren't too moist or over baked. Meanwhile Kammy and Kamek failed to stop arguing, the topic at least had changed from strawberries to whose fault the 'magic marker incident' was.
"You shouldn't have left they were he could find them!"
"Well, you shouldn't have told them they were made of real strawberries!"
"See? Yet another reason why strawberries are the worst fruit in the world!"
And then they were back on strawberries. The princess bit her tongue trying not to tell Kammy stawberries were berries not fruit. With a light sigh Peach finished frosting the cake and decorated the circumference of the pastry with a total of eight strawberries. She reached to pick up one more to put in the center, but paused; eight was enough, she wouldn't have room for a message if she put anymore on.
While the argument of magic marker's and strawberries continued around her Peach found a tube of pre-made frosting that was a darker pink than her base frosting and hovered over the cake, trying to come up with something for Bowser's cake to say. "Hey, what should I right on the cake?"
"Sorry-a your kids-a got kidnapped-a?" Mario suggested, Peach couldn't tell if that was a joke or not.
"I want to make him feel better, not make him angry." The princess replied, "Now be serious, what should I write?"
"Write 'Kamek is a Ding-Bat!' that'll cheer him up!" Kammy snarled.
"Not as much as 'Kammy is an Old Hag!' will!" Kamek retorted.
Sadly those suggestions were utterly serious.
Peach shook her head and gave a heavy sigh. Maybe she should just leave it blank and put another strawberry in the middle. Kamek and Kammy continued to snap back and forth, and pulled Mario into their argument when they suggested write 'Mario is a big fat loser'. The Italian plumber tried to defend himself and worm his way back out but the argument was like a magnetic vortex. There was no escape, and Peach knew she wasn't the only one with a headache from it.
The princess looked sadly at the empty space on the cake; she'd really wanted to write something there, but she supposed a strawberry would look pretty in that spot as well. Just as she was about to set the frosting tube down she received a tap on the shoulder, she turned her head, "Luigi?"
The younger plumber leaned forward and whispered his suggestion in her ear, most likely to keep from being sucked into the ever growing argument vortex. Peach's eyes widened and sparkled at the suggestion, "That's a great idea Luigi, thank you!" She smiled and began the task of carefully writing each letter in elegant swirls of frosting.
Luigi gave her a thumbs up, "No problem-a!"
"Weeeeee-Geeeeee! Come-a over here-a and help-a me, it's-a two on one over here-a!" Mario begged. Luigi's eyebrows furrowed with worry and he looked as if he had been called to the gallows, but he turned dutifully to his brother and with one desperate look at Peach, joined the argument at Mario's side.
"Sorry." Peach said over her shoulder as she packed Bowser's cake into a box and wrapped it in a ribbon. "I'll be back in a minute to break this up." She picked up the box delicately and hurriedly left the kitchen, stealing up the stairs as fast as she could in her heels and skirt. She slowed down when she reached the hall, and walked carefully as she approached Bowser's door, like a hunter trying not to startle an animal.
She stood outside the door in silence for a moment before she reached up and rapped gently on the door with her knuckles. "Bowser? Bowser?" He didn't answer, Peach knocked again, "I know you're still in there Bowser!"
He still didn't answer.
Peach sighed and leaned her head against the door, "Listen Bowser, I know you just had a lot taken from you, and this probably isn't nearly enough to make up for it, but I made you something." She listened carefully and thought she heard movement inside the room, but nothing else. "Bowser." She said sternly, "You can't lock yourself in there forever. Just because you aren't facing your problems doesn't mean they aren't still there, and hiding from them won't get your kids back. You need to come out here and face this; you aren't doing anyone any favors by staying in there, least of all yourself."
Bowser didn't come to the door or answer, but Peach understood that he needed time for her words to sink in. "I'll leave this here for you." She said leaning over and placing the box on the gently floor. She turned around and began her trip back to the kitchen in silence. She had made it half way down the stairs before she heard the creak of an opening door; she glanced back up and saw Bowser peaking out from the room.
He glanced around nervously as if checking to make sure nobody was watching him, clutching the door for support. He looked down and saw the package she left and leaned down to pick it up. Peach allowed herself a small smile before she turned away and continued back towards the kitchen. The first thing she noticed was that the arguing had stopped and been replaced by almost civil chit-chat.
The moment she came back in, Mario leapt from his seat, "Alright-a, we got it-a, write on the cake-a 'Bowsah is the greatest-a', that outta cheer him up-a."
"The truth always cheers him up." Kammy added.
Peach glanced at Luigi, who shrugged, and then they both burst out laughing.
"What?" The other three asked.
Peach looked and them and while still laughing shook her head.
Meanwhile, upstairs Bowser sat on the floor studying the box Peach had left him. He could smell the cake inside, and as much as he loved Peach's baking, he failed to see how a cake could possibly make him feel better in a situation such as this. His children were gone, that witch had made a fool out of him by easily blowing him away and on top of that she had…done this to him!
Bowser clutched his hands into fists digging his fingernails into his palms painfully; he didn't flinch from the pain, but because of how easily the soft human flesh tore. He looked at his palm; his weak human palm where two of four fingernails had sunken through the skin and left small punctures that bled slightly. He rain his hand to his lips and licked the wound, his saliva sealed the nicks and stopped the bleeding.
He looked again at the box, and with a dejected sigh grabbed the red ribbon that held the lid on. He tugged it gently and it didn't budge, half angry and half despairingly he yanked hard on it, wishing desperately that he could just shred the stupid ribbon with his claws like he normally would. It slid apart with ease this time and he opened the lid, even more upset then he had been a moment ago, until he saw the cake, masterfully hand crafted by Princess Peach herself, with a pink message in her beautiful handwriting that proclaimed the words he most needed to hear, or as this case was, read.
"Everything will be alright"
Aside from the occasional snap between Kammy and Kamek, things downstairs had mellowed out into a serious discussion on what they were supposed to do about the kidnappings. As Peach had said, her father would be hosting a meeting for the kingdoms to decide the right course of action. Neither of the Mario bros really wanted to wait, Luigi especially wanted to go out and rescue Daisy, they'd waited long enough, he thought, but Peach convinced him that since it wasn't just their land that had been attacked, but the Darklands as well, her father thought it was necessary to bring global attention to the threat and rally as many allies as they could.
The debate at hand currently was who would go to the meeting to represent the Darklands, Kamek or Kammy.
"I've served the royal family for much longer, and more closely, than you have, I'll go." Kamek said.
"No, I'll go." Kammy argued, " I know more about outside politics everyone knows a woman is better looked upon by the public." She then brushed some hair out of her face, " And my beautiful face will put the kingdom in a better light anyway."
"Scare the other kingdoms to death more likely." Came a new voice "I'll go."
Everyone jumped, Kammy and Kamek leaped out of their seats, "Lord Bowser!"
Bowser was leaning against the doorway at an awkward angle, obviously he still hadn't gotten the hang of standing upright or walking without the weight of his shell or his tail keeping him balanced. Everyone stared at him as he made his attempt to leave the wall and take a seat at the table. None of them had heard him coming since his footfalls were so quiet as compared to his usual stomping.
"The Darklands are my kingdom and my responsibility, if there's a meeting of the kingdoms then I should go to represent them." He finished as he sank into one of the chairs, he made a face when he sat down, and shifted uncomfortably in the chair.
"My King, are you sure you're ready for-" Kamek started but was quickly cut off.
"Of course I'm ready!" Bowser huffed, "My brain didn't get turned into mush! I can handle talking to a room of officials!"
"I'm-a sure you can talk-a to the kings and queens," Mario said, "The concern-a would be if-a you could stand-a and walk."
Bowser glared at him, "This meeting isn't until tomorrow, right?" He looked at Peach who nodded without meeting his gaze, "Then I got twenty-four hours to figure out how this body is supposed to work, I'll be fine!" he declared.
Peach spoke up, "Well what are you going to wear?" She asked eying the plumbing shirt he was still wearing, "You can't go to the meeting like that, you look like a hobo."
"Oh Peachie, I didn't know you cared so much." Bowser grinned, Peach scooted away from him, Bowser chuckled and turned away from her to Kamek, "You can take care of that, right?"
"Yessir." Kamek lifted his wand, and sparked flew out of the end of it. There was a bright flash that made everyone close or cover their eyes, as soon as it was over they opened again.
Bowser sat precisely where he had been a moment before, but now instead of the large shirt he wearing magically fitted close, which included a spiked bands like the ones he used to wear in his true form. Kamek, it seemed, intended for Bowser's new outfit to resemble the King Koopa's original body as closely as possibly. He now donned a yellow tank-top with a green textured vest that brought to mind his shell, the back of which was also covered in spikes, leaving his arms sleeveless which brought attention to his his well defined muscles. He also wore tight black pants, which were decorated with spiked belts, and even the boots that completed his outfit had spikes on them.
He looked dangerous.
"Much better my lord!" Kammy chirped. "Though I say my magic would have been better."
Peach couldn't stop herself from staring at Bowser, and how he looked just as menacing as ever, "Well, then you can make him his clothes tomorrow!" She blurted, "You can't wear that in front of my parents either!"
"Or the rest of the royal court." Mario added with his mouth hanging open slightly in surprise.
"Yeah! Or the rest of the royal court!" Peach repeated.
Bowser chuckled again, "Of course, of course, whatever pleases you princess." He said with a certain smugness. He tried to stand but had to support himself on the table. "Now, I need walking practice, oh and losers, one of you needs to show me how to shave later, this mess has to go." he added tugging his beard again.
"He'd have better luck convincing us to help him prepare if he wouldn't call us losers." Luigi muttered, Kamek turned to him with a frown, Luigi straightened trying to look innocent and apparently succeeded because the Magikoopa looked away and followed Kammy and his king out of the room, trying his best to instruct him on how to keep his balance.
"Try putting all your weight on on foot at a time sire." They heard him say. The sudden yelp and thud informed them that the advice hadn't helped.
Luigi's whole body relaxed once the Magikoopa and Bowser were out of site and hearing distance. Peach noticed that she had been holding her breath and let herself start breathing again. The three humans looked across the table at each other in awkward silence before Mario finally asked, "So...what-a do you think-a happened to my shirt-a when Kamek did that-a?"
"Who-a cares?" Luigi said, "You nevah wear it anyway-a."
"I do when I don't-a have any clean-a pajamas."
Peach stood up. "I should probably get back to the castle. You boys will be coming to the meeting too, right?"
"If they will-a let us in-a, yes." Mario said with a nod.
"Good." Peach said as she leaned down and gave the bothers a hug each and kissed Mario on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye!"
"Bye-a-bye Peach!" They called after her.
The princess waved to them one last time before exiting the house. Bowser and his Magikoopa were outside, Bowser took a few steps in Kammy's direction practicing his walking by pacing between her and Kamek. He held his arms out trying to keep from falling, Peach covered her mouth trying not to laugh while Bowser continued to stumble, at last falling forward and landing in Kammy's arms.
"Augh, do I have to be wearing shoes, I think they're just making it harder!" Bowser growled.
"I haven't seen anyone walking around barefoot, so I guess its their custom to wear shoes." Kamek replied.
"Well, fuck the stupid custom then! How do I take these off?" Bowser sank to the ground and started clawing at his boots trying to tear them off before he found the zipper and successfully got his foot free.
"Sire, might I suggest we practice without the shoes and when you get the hang of it try it with them again?" Kamek advised.
Bowser replied by throwing a boot and him, "Fine!" he snapped.
Peach couldn't suppress a small giggle, and turned away to start her trip back to the castle. Silently she wished Bowser luck on his endeavor to learn how to walk, but also imagined what he would look like tomorrow if he came in with no shoes...
Author's end note: I was going to put the kingdom meeting in this chapter, but decided against it. Thanks for reading remember to review because I am still open for suggestions what sort of things happen in this fic!