To Love As A Lover - Chapter 4
I woke up to the sound of birds and the smell of steaming rice. I sat up; noticing the space where Haku had been lying was empty and remembered what had happened in the night. I got up, fixed my yukata and went through to the kitchen, following my nose and vague memories of my childhood.
There was Haku, wearing what I assumed was my mother's old apron over one of his own kimonos, preparing breakfast. I smirked to myself and went over to him, hugged him from behind around the waist. He jumped in surprise and looked up at me.
"Oh, good morning, Zabuza. I found some rice in the pantry but there's nothing to go with it so-" I interrupted him with a kiss.
"Morning, Haku." I said when we parted, smiling at his flushed face. I sat down at the table, watching him with a smile. Haku blushed and dished out the rice into two bowls, placing them on the table then looking for chopsticks. "In the drawer." I said, pointing. Haku opened it and took out two pairs of beautifully decorated chopsticks, admiring the art as he sat down. "My mother always loved decorated chopsticks, she collected them." I explained as he tucked in
"They're almost too beautiful to eat with.." Haku said softly, gazing at the intricate hand-painted detail on the wood
"Well then eat with your hands. You're too thin, Haku." I muttered through a mouthful of rice. He smiled and nodded, eating delicately with the sticks. "I'll go into the village later for food and stuff, ok?" I asked, looking up at him. He nodded with a smile, swallowing his mouthful noiselessly before replying
"Could you get some gardening things? I really can't wait to start." He said, excitement dancing in his eyes. I smirked and nodded
"Sure thing. I'll look for a job there too, I need to provide for us, don't you think?"
"I could do some work too, if-"
"Haku, I would never let you waste yourself on such vulgarity as work." I said with a smirk. He blushed and smiled shyly, continuing his meal.
After breakfast, we unpacked. I'd already put away the 'parcels' somewhere safe, as well as all our money and precious items. Haku put all our clothes in the large mahogany wardrobe and I sorted out what we already had and what I would need to buy.
We decided on a shopping list together, both essentials and gardening, and then I left for the village on Saku, leaving Haku to get himself acquainted with the house.
I rode Saku to the nearest town and tied him up by the local horse paddock before walking into the main market place. I couldn't help but notice how much I, myself, stuck out. Most of the people around me were either elderly couples or overweight red-faced merchants, shouting their goods to be the first to sell.
"I haven't seen you around here before, son." Said the butcher, while I was buying some meat.
"Yeah, well…we're new here…"
"We?" he asked. I mentally sighed, questions only ever led to trouble, and nodded
"My wife and I. We just arrived last night."
"Where are you staying?"
"Up by the west mountains.." I muttered, we were actually in the north. The man nodded with a smile
"How old are you?"
"Twenty two."
"And your wife?"
"Seventeen."
"Ah, a young bride, hm? My wife, God rest her soul, was eighteen when we got married. Ah, she was a lovely little thing… Great cook too; does your girl cook for you?" I just nodded, growing impatient. The old man sighed in nostalgia "She was such a lovely thing but, sadly, she passed giving birth to our boy…"
"I'm sorry to hear that." I muttered, lying only a little bit - losing Haku would be the worst thing I could think of. The man nodded with a sad smile and continued his task at hand - wrapping up my order.
He handed it over; I paid and left the shop with a gruff 'thank you'. I got the rest of the things on their list, every shop I entered I was questioned about where I was staying and what brought me here. Each time, I made something different up, forgetting his previous excuses. I didn't want anyone knowing where Haku was. As usual, I didn't trust anyone.
I went back to Saku, who looked a little indignant at all the extra cargo he now had to carry, and we left for home. I arrived back to find Haku in the garden. He was wearing a pair of pink gardening gloves he'd found, weeding what he could. I smiled and left Saku to graze while I went over to him, looked down at him from the fence. Haku looked up when my shadow covered him and smiled
"Hey, Zabuza, welcome back!" he said, standing up
"I'm home, Haku. Getting stuck in already?" Haku smiled and shrugged
"I couldn't wait. I found these in the bedroom; I guess they were your mother's." he said, showing me the gloves. I smiled and nodded
"Well, I got plenty of seeds for you to use." Haku grinned
"Oh, thank you! I'll come and unpack everything. Would you like a cup of tea?" I smiled
"That would be great, Haku." The boy smiled and went back into the house. I smiled to himself and went back to Saku to put him away.
When the horse was fed and watered, I went into the house to find Haku putting away food. He turned when I came in and smiled, holding out some jars to me
"I can't reach the top shelf.." he said sheepishly, blushing. I chuckled, taking them and reaching up with ease to place them on the shelf. Haku grinned and took out the many varieties of tea, all of which he loved "Oh, Zabuza… You didn't have to get so much.." he said, getting six or seven boxes out. I smiled
"They were cheap. I'll have red tea, you make it so well." I said, hugging him around the waist and kissing the top of his head. I frowned, feeling Haku shivering "Haku?" I asked and turned him round. "Haku, what is it?" I asked, hugging him. There were tears falling from his eyes
"R-red tea…is what I had to make for…him.." he mumbled. My jaw clenched and I hugged him tightly. I knelt down in front of him, holding his waist as I looked into his eyes, barely shorter than him when on my knees and him standing
"Haku… I…" I sighed, hugging him again.
"I'm s-sorry… I didn't.. It just reminded me.." Haku said, wiping his tears but they kept coming. I stood again, picking him up with me and kissing the tears on his cheeks away.
"Don't be sorry, Haku." I said, then lowered my voice to a whisper "I'm sorry…"
"Z-Zabuza?" I smiled at him
"Nothing. I'll make the tea, Haku; why don't you go and take a shower, ne?" Haku sighed and nodded. He placed both hands gently on my cheeks and kissed me softly. I smiled, hugging him and kissing him back before putting him down. Haku smiled and went to the bathroom, wiping his eyes on his sleeves.
I sighed and got on with the tea, trying to remember how to do it as Haku does. I knew Haku was still hurting about what happened. Something like that was difficult to forget, especially for someone so delicate as Haku… I was very surprised he wasn't sensitive to my touch, even a little bit, he didn't even flinch when I hugged or kissed him - if anything he leaned into me more than he used to…
My thoughts were interrupted by Haku's voice
"Zabuza?" I looked round to see a damp-haired Haku wearing a bath robe, frowning at me "Are you ok? You've been standing there since I went for a shower…"
"Oh, really…? Just daydreaming I guess..- Ah shit, I forgot the tea…" I muttered, feeling it was almost cold now. Haku smiled and went over
"Don't worry, I'll do it." He said, pouring out the cold batch and starting on another. I smiled and finished putting the groceries away before sitting at the table. Haku gave me a cup of expertly-made hot tea and sat down with his own, smiling
"So, did you get much done while I was out?" I asked. Haku nodded, swallowing noiselessly before replying
"Yes, I've weeded most of it, I just need to cut the grass then I can start planting." He said with a smile, I knew he was excited about having his own garden. Back at the camp, there was no real place for planting so Haku had to settle for potting what he grew though had always wanted a garden "Um, where I grew up…nothing ever grew… I'm glad it's different here.." he said with a shy smile. I grinned at him, drinking my delicious tea.
"The winters aren't too bad here, even though it's by the mountains, and the spring is beautiful." Haku grinned at this, spring was his favourite season
"I look forward to it." He said "What is the village like?"
"It's quite small but there's everything we could need there - I guess it's a market village.." I said, trying to remember from when I was growing up
"Um, why did you leave here, Zabuza?" Haku asked softly, looking down at his cup. I sighed
"I suppose I just didn't belong here, not back then anyway. I was a very rebellious child, I hated how safe and dull it is. I ran away when I was fourteen and joined the army for some adventure but they found out I was too young so I was sent away - that's when I got in with that place.." I referred to their old 'home' with bitterness, Haku nodded slowly "Where did you grow up, Haku?" the small brunette frowned at him.
"In the mist near where we met.." he said. I nodded
"I know that, but what was your house like?" Haku sighed and stood up, taking their empty cups into the kitchen. I followed him "You don't want to tell me?" I asked, leaning on the door frame watching Haku washing the cups. Haku glanced at me over his narrow shoulder
"It…it's just I don't like thinking about it…that place…" he said quietly. I sighed, scratching my head
"I know, but you can tell me… You can tell me anything, Haku.." I said quietly, then looked around and cleared my throat, deciding not to get into it if Haku didn't want to "Well, I'm gonna go-"
"Zabuza.." I looked at him "Did you mean that? Can I really tell you anything?" I frowned and went over
"Of course, that's what I'm here for, right?" Haku smiled shyly and nodded, making me smile. He was so cute…
"How about you finish the dishes, I'll start a fire and we can talk in the living room."
"Ok, deal." I smiled and went to do so, finding logs and kindling in the cupboard my father used to keep fully stocked at all times due to how cold the house got.
We reconvened in the living room, the fire warm and bright in the hearth as they sat down together.
"So? Your house.." I reminded him, showing I wasn't giving up. Haku sighed and nodded, closing his eyes for a moment before reopening them and looking up at me
"My house…was only ever pleasant when my father wasn't home. He was abusive, to my mother and to me, and I hated him."
"Abusive in what way?"
"Beatings…and sexually.." he said the latter with eyes down. My jaw clenched, I knew something was wrong in Haku's past but anything other than that would have been better "My mother was from a lower class than him, he only married her because she was pregnant with me and it would have been more dishonourable not to… The beatings started when he caught her teaching me things from her own culture, things he thought were indecent… I watched him almost beat her death after that…then he came after me…and raped me in front of her.. I remember what he said to me as he did…'You're just like your mother, Haku, so soft inside..'" his big eyes filled with tears at this and he bit his lip. It broke my heart to see him so sad and quickly pulled onto my lap, hugging and kissing him
"It's alright, Haku, I've got you… Thanks for telling me, I know it was hard.." I muttered, pissed off that Haku's father had gotten away with that "What happened to your parents?"
"W-when I ran away…father had killed my mother and I defended myself with a knife. He came at me drunk a-and I stabbed him with my eyes closed… When he opened them again he was dead.." he mumbled, burying his face in my chest. I sighed, rubbing his bony back gently as I gave him quite words of comfort.
I know, sorry.
Hope it was ok for the time it took me to update, kind of ran out of material/got bored…
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