"William!" Sacharissa yelled, running up to him. He turned around. She was flustered, and out of breath. Loose strands of hair worked its way out of a bun on the top of her head. "You have to see this!"

"Is it another...humorous vegetable?" William asked, nervously. He had just about enough of those, and he knew Sachrissa had enough also. And yet, they kept turning up. 'Please say no...' he thought.

"Thank heavens, no." She thrust a few sheets of paper in his face. "Altogether Andrews gave this to me. Apparently, Lady Hermione wants this to be printed in the Times." Sacharissa's face was as red as a tomato1. William assumed she was out of breath.

"Is it any good?" He asked, eyeing the paper. While he trusted Lady Hermione, Altogether Andrews as a whole was...off.

"I read it myself," she said, biting her lip. "Look...just read it!" She shoved it into his hands. Quickly, William read it. The room was silent as all the dwarves stopped talking, and started to watch William. A cry of 'ohdamndamndamn' came from the cellar.

William raised an eyebrow. "Why is Otto in this story? And why is he taking pictures?"

"Just...read it." Sacharissa muttered. "Read it in its entirety." A slightly disoriented Otto appeared from the cellar.

"I vas vorking on the flash on the camera..." he started, but trailed off as ten dwarves loudly shushed him. An awkward silence ensured. "Well, there's a gay baby being born," a dwarf muttered.

"Pardon?" William said, putting the papers down for a second. "A gay baby?"

"It was something I heard in a pub..." the dwarf muttered. "Every time there's an awkward silence, a gay baby's being born."

"Charming," William said, revolted. He turned his attention back to the paper. Now it was his face turning tomato red. He saw why Sacharissa was out of breath now. This was just...too strange. "What did Lady Hermione say this was?"

"Fanfiction. It's like...a fan writes fiction about us. Odd, I know." she said, smiling wearily.

"And she thought me and you...would do this?" A look of revolution was on his face. He wanted to yell out 'EEW!' but common sense, about ten dwarves, and Otto prevented him from doing this. He looked in Sacharissa's face and for a second, their eyes met.

"May I read it?" Otto asked, reading for the paper.

"No!" William and Sacharissa exclaimed at the same time. William promptly tore up the paper. "Sacharissa..." William muttered. "Erm...can I talk to you? Outside, perhaps?" Sacharissa looked like there was nothing in the world she would rather do. As the two walked outside, William heaved a sigh of relief.

"Is it about...the story?" Sacharissa asked, frowning.

"Yes," William muttered, breathing heavily. "All I want to say...is that I will never do that." Sacharissa breathed a sigh of relief. The red in her face, slowly left. "Although," William said, smiling coyly, "if you want to do it, you know where the cheese is. And I'm pretty sure I can get some aspen wood."

The words of dislike and discomfort at the story, burst forth from Sacharissa like shrapnel from a firecracker that just exploded. One got the feeling, she would smack him sooner or later for this2. "William!" she yelled, revolted.

1. Assuming of course, the tomato's ripe. And not one of those nasty green tomatoes that the produce people try to sell you.

2. She did