Time after Time

By JeantheGuardian

Spoilers : Degrassi, season 9 Premiere "Just Can't Get Enough".

Summary: What if Peter made a different long distance call when he was high on meth? Darcy returns to help Peter kick the habit. But will she be enough to save him?

Pairings: Basically, it's a Peter/Darcy. (PARCY)

Disclaimer: I own nothing here. Not lyrics, not characters, nothing. Don't sue.

Feedback: Please and thank you! And thanks to degrassiiloveyou, Jess, moonlightwasagi, and hld12271982 for your reviews. You guys rock! Well, this is the end of the road, kids. Last chapter. Enjoy! And remember, friends don't let friends not post reviews ;)

Part 4 – The Fixer

When somethings dark, let me shed a little light on it
When somethings cold, let me put a little fire on it
If somethings old, I wanna put a bit of shine on it
When somethings gone, I wanna fight to get it back again

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

When somethings broke, I wanna put a bit of fixin on it
When somethings bored, I wanna put a little exciting on it
If somethings low, I wanna put a little high on it
When somethings lost, I wanna fight to get it back again

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

When signals cross, I wanna put a little straight on it
If there's no love, I wanna try to love again

I'll say your prayers, I'll take your side
I'll find us a way to make light
I'll dig your grave, we'll dance and sing
What's saved could be one last lifetime

- Pearl Jam, "The Fixer"

Peter's POV

This hasn't been the first time I've ever been alone with Darcy. Not by a long shot.

Our moments alone have usually been memorable, including me snapping sexy shots of her, our private moments in the stairwell when we were sneaking around in the beginning of our relationship, our times on the roof of the school, and of course, the first time we ever made love.

So, why am I more nervous to be alone with her now than I've ever been in all of those times combined?

I feel the warmth of her skin even through the thin cotton of her form-fitting purple shirt. I see those soft, brown eyes looking up at me, the mix of emotions clouded on them reflecting what I'm feeling.

Confusion… longing … uncertainty …lusting…and something else…something stronger than all of those feelings…

Her lips press together, her eyes anxiously darting up and down. "Um...I guess one of us should let go, huh?"

I swallow, nervously. "Uh…guess so…"

Yet, neither one of us makes a move yet. As if neither of us wants to break the spell, escape the comfort that our closeness brings one another…

I feel a pang of regret when I finally decide to break contact, giving her space.

Both of us stand there, so close to one another, yet neither one speaking. I can't really find the words…

"I'm…really sorry about Mia," she offers, apologetically.

I shake off the initial surprise at her words. I'm not sure I believe her on that one, based on the snippets of conversation that I heard while I was asleep (well, as asleep as I could get with a few ounces of meth in my system.)

"I'm not," I shrug. Truthfully, it feels like a weight's been lifted off my chest.

Her eyes scrunch, as if she's trying to read me. "Really?"

My eyes meet hers as I lean against the kitchen counter. "Yeah…truth be told, I didn't think we were going to be together much longer, anyway."

I can tell that statement surprises her. "Why?"

I gently roll up my shoulders in another shrug. Might as well go with the truth. "Mia was cool, at first. But to be honest…I never really felt like I could be myself around her. Nothing really clicked, you know? Near the end…it became more about just having someone there than about being with someone I wanted to be with." I let out a derisive snort. "If I had any doubts, the last 48 hours wiped that away."

She frowns for a minute, and I tense. Was something wrong? "Um…exactly…how much of that chat between me and her did you hear?"

I smirk, relieved. So, that's what's on her mind. "Enough to realize that my old girlfriend is about a hundred times cooler than my new, now-ex-girlfriend will ever be in my book."

I see the warm smile she rewards me with, and it makes my heart jump. How is it possible for a girl to be so beautiful, and not even realize it? Not even realize what she does to me on the inside?

She looks hesitant again, rocking back and forth on the balls of her heels for a moment. It's one of those Darcy-esque things she does that's so damn cute. "So…does this mean that you and Mia are definitely— "

I put up my hand to stop her chain of thought. "Darce, if Mia and I were any more history, we'd be a book," I reply, with a shake of my head.

It's true. I know that I probably did scare Mia, and she has an amazing opportunity ahead of her…but I don't take kindly to being ditched. Especially when I really need help. Bottom line: relationships are about trust. No trust, no relationship. It's as simple as that.

I wish Mia all the best, but I can't trust her, not anymore. Maybe not ever again.

Darcy sighs, relieved. "Good." Off my raised eyebrows at that word, she immediately starts backpedaling. It's actually kinda cute. "I mean…it's g-good that you're feeling okay with it— "

I chuckle, taking two steps closer to her. "I think I know what you mean."

She looks at me in a way I can't decipher. "Do you?"

My breath catches in my throat at the look she gives me. A look that mirrors the one we shared only moments ago.

The beautiful auburn-haired angel inches closer to me, closer until we're standing with but a hair's breathe of space between us. Her enthralling scent is all around me, and for a few moments, it's incredibly hard to think. Amazing, how even after four months and half a world's distance, she still has this kind of hold over me.

"I meant what I said before, Darcy," I say, slowly lifting my hands up until they rest at her elbows. "Thanks for being there when I needed you."

A small snort of air escapes her as she shakes her head, a modest look on her face. "It's not a big deal."

I answer almost immediately. "Yes, it is." My hands slowly make their way down until they grasp the softness of her palms. "You flew halfway around the world for me. Why?"

She stares at me as if I'm missing something obvious, and perhaps I am.

"How could I not?" She replies, her fingers entwining around mine until our hands are melded into one, clasped together in perfect sync. Her eyes glisten with emotion as she looks deep into my own. "Last year, you were there at my lowest. You saw me going through the worst moments of my life, and instead of bailing altogether, you were there for me. I don't think I would've made it through all that without you."

I swallow back the lump of emotion that threatens to form in my throat as I recall the events of the past year. As hard as it was for Darcy – and I saw her go through hell – it was almost as hard for me.

Watching my girlfriend change into a stranger I barely knew anymore, seeing her struggle with the pain and suffering that one douchebag with a roofie put her through, being forced to play witness as the girl I loved walked the razor's edge between losing the will to live and finding the strength to fight…it was enough to make me lose my mind, to see her suffer so much and not be able to make it go away for her, to protect her.

My hand squeezes hers a little tighter. "I wish I could have done more."

She shakes her head almost immediately, bringing her right hand up to cradle the side of my face, and my head starts to swim as I find myself getting lost in her touch. "What you did…it was more than I would have ever asked for. From anyone."

I reach up and grab her hand, and I can't help but to stare as her eyes meet mine. "It's never that hard to support someone when there's love involved."

Her voice is small, but earnest. "No…no it's not."

Once again, words are lost as I find myself falling into those soft hazel eyes…

Her voice jerks me out of my reverie. "So…you going to be okay?"

Depends by your definition of okay. Am I okay to never touch drugs again? Most likely, yes. Am I okay to go back to being alone once she walks out that door and I find myself faced with the reality of life without her? Never…but I'll deal. Just like I always have. "What, with the meth problem? Yeah…I'm done with all that."

She looks at me with a sad, yet questioning look that both breaks my heart and makes me worry. "Just tell me…why?"

I frown in confusion for a moment before I realize what she means. She wants to know why the sudden craving for something that would turn my brains and teeth into mush, why I would play Russian roulette with my own life.

Shame washes over me as I lower my eyes to the floor, not wanting to look her in the eye when I answered. "I dunno. I guess I…"

Damn, why is this so hard?

Her hand finds its way to my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Come on, Peter. It's me. You can tell me anything, you know that."

Maybe that's the problem. Because it is her. I don't give a crap about what anyone else thinks of me, never did. But Darcy? Her approval, her opinion means the world to me.

"I guess I just…I just wanted to feel…like I could control something, for once, you know?" I begin, as my brain flashes unbidden images of the most humiliating last few days of my life. "I haven't been in control of a lot of things in my life, a lot of changes. Couldn't keep my parents from splitting on me, couldn't keep you from leaving, couldn't stop everything that…happened to you last year. So, when Mia tells me she gets this big modeling contract, instead of being happy for her, I realize another thing's slipping away. I'm losing another person I let into my life."

I sigh, leaning against the countertop. "I guess I figured the meth would at least help me control my own happiness. When I wanted to feel better, all I had to do was reach out, grab a bag, and poof! Instant happy." My palm roughly rubs my face. "I didn't think it would get so out of control so quickly."

I brace myself, expecting to hear the torrents of 'What were you thinking?' and 'How could you be so stupid?' and other comments validating my own stupidity of late.

Imagine my surprise when instead, her gentle hand returns to my shoulder, softly turning me to her. "That's what drugs do. You feel like you're in control, but you're not. The drugs end up controlling you, changing you…until you wake up one day and you realize you're not the person you once were."

It's as if she's inside my head. She's right. I've been so out of it lately that I've forgotten who I really am. And I have to say, this crazy, drugged up loser that looks back at me in the mirror where Peter Stone used to be…I'm not a big fan of.

"Peter…" she says, as worry tints her voice. "Just promise me — "

"Darcy, I promise," I reply, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "I will never use meth again."

"Not even once," she says, letting out a frustrated sigh before she worriedly chides me. "Gosh, Peter, you could've died this time! Do you have any idea what it would do to me if you died?"

I don't think I've ever felt guiltier in my life. The thought that I would have caused her more pain, more suffering…

"I…I know. Darce…" I start, but my apology begins to falter. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm just…so damn sorry."

I watch her softly exhale, waving off my apology. "It's okay. You're okay, I'm okay, we're okay. That's all that matters."

I raise my eyebrows, surprised by her statement. "We?"

Her cheeks take on a lovely pink tint. "Uh…"

"Relax, Darce, I'm just messing with you," I chuckle, though I feel bitterness at my next thoughts. She came back for me, right when I needed her most of all…but it doesn't mean she's going to stay. She has a whole other life now, one that doesn't include me…one that's halfway across the planet.

One she has to go back to soon, and leave me behind for…again.

She knows how to read me all too well, because her face drops her relieved smile from my joke and replaces it with that soft, worried look. "Peter? What's wrong?"

"So…what now, Darcy?" I sigh, morosely. "You get back on that plane and go to Kenya? Back to saving the world?"

"Oh…" Her eyes light up in understanding as she realizes what suddenly has me so down. "Well…I still have another month left in the program."

I can feel my heart literally ache at her words. "Yeah…"

She bites her lip, in what looks like a sad gesture. "And we are almost done."

"I guess."

She turns away from me as her lovely, slender form takes a few short paces back from me, wringing her hands in contemplation. "And I would need a really, really good reason to quit a prestigious program to come back and finish my year at Degrassi."

My head hangs in defeat, and I can feel my shoulders slump. Once she finishes, combined with her grades and this program, she can choose whatever college she wants. She'd have to be crazy if she was going to blow this program off just for my screw-up ass. "I know."

Then…the most amazing thing happens. She turns back to me, an impish smile on her perfect face, and utters 20 words I'll never forget:

"Like, say…making sure the only boy I've ever loved doesn't try to do something he might not live to regret?"

My head jacks up immediately, and I can feel the shock written on my face. I can feel hope for the first time in a long while spring up deep inside me. She couldn't possibly mean…could she?

"You mean…?"

With an enchanting giggle, she smiles and nods. "Yeah."

I start coming towards her, my mind full of hope, but filled also with questions. "But… your program— "

"I talked to Mr. N'Baku. He understood the situation. In fact, he even commended me for caring enough about someone to give up the program and come back to help them. He's writing me what he called a 'glowing letter of recommendation.'"

"Your parents—"

With a flick of her right hand, she waves off that concern. "Will have to deal with it. Besides, I think they'd be happy to get their first-born daughter back after four months away on another continent."

This is too good to be true, this can't be happening…"We're in mid-year already at Degrassi. Classes are almost—"

"Oh, that. Well…" she reaches towards me, but instead of taking my hand, her fingers daftly reach into the front of my jeans as she tugs me gently towards her. I feel a sudden surge of desire as I watch a flirtatious smile spread on those perfect lips, my waist's nerves alive at the touch of her fingers. "I'm kinda tight with this really hot guy whose Mom's the principal. I think he might be able to get me hooked up with a few good classes in time for graduation. What do you think?"

I can feel the old charm coming back, as my hands reach out and slide around that toned, slim waist as I pull her towards me. "I don't know, Darce," I feel a playful smirk on my face, "I heard about that guy. He might want something in return."

"Yeah?" she smiles, as her hands start sliding up my chest, batting her eyes in feigned innocence. "Like what?"

My arms are now encircled around her waist, as we draw close enough to feel her soft frame pressed against me, a feeling that feels so effortless, so…natural. "I don't know, but it would have to be something good."

She offers that teasing smile again that drives me crazy as her arms make their way around my neck. "Oh, I can definitely make it worth his while."

I can't help but chuckle as our noses rub against each other, her sweet lips only a few centimeters apart…

But, to my surprise, instead of her lips, my mouth comes in contact with her fingertips instead. I open my eyes to find her standing with a concerned, yet stern face.

"But, Peter…look, if we're going to be…together again…there have to be a few conditions."

I'm not sure I like the sound of that. "What kind of conditions?"

"Just three," she replies, before the first of her fingers rises. "First…the meth. I know, you already said it, but I need you to swear it to me. Never again, okay?"

That's fine with me. I don't think I could take too many mornings waking up with the urge to peel off my skin, anyway. "I swear, Darce," I reply solemnly. "I'm never touching that crap again."

She nods, but it's hard to tell if she's simply going to take that statement at face value. "Good. Because you have too much to offer, you mean too much to me to throw your life away on drugs. Especially that drug."

I bring her free hand up to mine, kissing it softly. "Don't worry. It won't happen again."

"Still, I'd like some assurance." Off my confused frown, she elaborates. "Which brings me to the second condition: rehab."

Oh, shit, you've got to be kidding. Anything but that…

I find myself sputtering in protest, "Rehab? Darcy, I don't–"

"Peter." Her face turns a strict glare towards me, a look leaving no room for negotiation. "This isn't a discussion. You need help. I've read about meth. From the first hit, you're always going to have a craving for it. I trust you, but I don't trust what it might have done to you."

"But Darce—"

Her voice rises slightly, not enough to shout, but plenty to drown mine out. "Don't 'But Darce', me, Peter! I told you I would be right by your side, but you have to trust me on this! I can't go through again what I did when I was holding you hours ago. You…"

She breaks off, lowering her gaze as I catch the sight of her lower lip trembling ever so slightly. Her voice goes small, hushed, but the fear in it was unmistakable. "…you really scared me."

Once again, I feel like a complete asshole. For the first time in days, I get an up close look at what the people I care about went through when I decided to take a chance on meth.

I gently lift her chin up so that her eyes and mine are locked again. "I'm so sorry," I reply in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't be sorry. Just promise me you'll go. Please?"

The idea of rehab completely sucks. Sitting in front of strangers telling them my problems, swallowing medications, being forcefed shitty hospital food…it's like being sentenced to a living hell for several weeks. A total suckfest.

But as I hear the pleading in her voice, see the earnest look in those soft hazel irises…Darcy, my Darcy, begging me to do this…. I let out a resigned sigh. Rehab might suck, but life without Darcy…that is a living hell. I once told her that I'd risk all the sh…all the sugar in the world for only a minute with her. And if it means I can be with her again, I'll sit in every "share circle" in North America if I have to.

"Okay…for you, I promise."

Whatever doubts I might have about my decision are swept away as Darcy's eyes light up with relief, throwing her arms around my neck as she leans in close enough to tickle my ear with her breath. "Thank you."

I waste no time in hugging her back, taking in that incredible flower-like scent from her hair. Rehab…this is going to be brutal. It might even hurt…but if it means I can have more moments like this in my future, with the only girl I've ever loved in my arms, I'd call it more than a fair trade.

Then, something dawns on me, as I nervously ask, "Um…so, the third condition?"

Darcy pulls back, with a smile on her face. "Well, that one's easy."

What's she up to? "Why's that?"

That sexy smile comes back, and our eyes lock once again as she leans closer to my face, whispering softly, "Because it involves a lot of this."

As our lips meet, and she gently nips at my mouth as the kiss lingers, it's like something deep inside me finally snaps back into place. The doors to my heart, bolted shut by uncertainty and self-involved parents and self-loathing, suddenly burst wide open. It's like I found something I thought lost forever.

Yes, this is what it means to be whole again, to be truly alive again…with her…breathless, I pull away as we stare deep into each other's eyes, and for a moment, it's like I see the other part of me in those hazel orbs. The other half of my soul.

"Oh." I feel a smile from deep within burst to the surface. "I think I'm going to like this one."

Her enchanting giggle rings in my ears as she teasingly rolls her eyes. "Well, duh."

"So…you're really back?"

My hands grip her waist just a little tighter, as I ask that question. I need to have that question answered. Is she really here? Is she back for good?

"That all depends." She says as she searches my eyes for something. "Do you want me back?"

No. I don't want her back. I need her back. Like I need air, or to eat, or to sleep. Without Darcy, I've managed to survive. But the only time in my life that I've ever been truly alive is when I've been with her. I need her smile, her warmth, her laughter, even when my jokes are corny…I need her unshakable faith in me that never falters even when it all looks hopeless, her selfless spirit that would sacrifice anything for others – even for a screw-up like me…

I need her to love me…as much as I love her.

My voice is strained with emotion as I stare back into those beautiful eyes…"More than I've ever wanted anything."

She says nothing, but the beaming glow on her face says all the words I need to hear. She pulls my head down to meet her lips, and once again, the world falls away in a haze of strawberry lip-gloss, soft lips and that flower-like scent again…the world just falls away…

…and we end up stumbling over one of the speakers left lying around. But even as we tumble to the ground, a startled gasp from her lips follows by us both fitfully laughing as we still hold onto each other.

I have a long road ahead of me. Meth may have bruised my dignity, nearly crushed my bond with my friends, and solidly ended relationship No. 3…but it couldn't break my spirit. Darcy saw to that. Like some kind of guardian angel, she came from out of nowhere, right when I needed help most of all…when I needed love most of all.

If there is any good that came out of this, I'm holding it right now. Every 5 foot 3, auburn-haired, hazel eyed inch of it. This is where I need to be, this is where I belong. In the arms of Darcy Edwards.

In the arms of the girl who saved my life…the only girl I'll ever love. Could this be any more perfect?

And as she holds her finger to my lips, thoughtfully adding, "Oh…don't forget to call your mother" – classic Darcy – I can't help but to smile as I gently murmur my reply, realizing how much more perfect it just became before our lips meet again:

"Hey…Whatever you want, babe."

THE END

A/N: Whew! Wow, I can't beleive I actually finished. Thanks for everyone who stuck with this story. Maybe now, I can get around to finishing some other stories I'm working on, unless another Parcy-type bolt of inspiration hits me. Please review!