"Alright fellas, the plan is to sneak in and find Russia!"
"Do you really think it'll be that easy America?! And why did you tell us to bring weapons if that's the plan?!"
America turns and smiles innocently at the doubtful Englishman. "Well duh! Their for beating up anyone who tries to stop us! And of course it won't be that easy. They might send in ninja assassins or something!"
"Ninjas are from my country America, not Russia's," Japan polietly reminds the overexcited blond.
"Well of course! Russia probably has, like, super soldiers or something!"
"America, if we're supposed to be pulling a 'rescue' mission, then why are you acting like Russia's our enemy?" Britian asks in annoyance.
When the U.S's human representation turns to him, he's no longer the overzealous man Britian's used to. "Russia is probably not our enemy... But his people might be. You guys remember how things were in The Great Depression and on 9/11 right?"
Britian can only blink quietly at the somber smile on America's face for a moment before finally managing to whisper, "How could I forget?"
When people were desperate, they became untrusting and temperamental. All the nations had seen this in their people at one time or another and it was always a frightening thing.
Suddenly, America's safety measures weren't so drastic.
"Alright, extreme caution with this, okay guys? Let's head out!"
-.+
He felt like he was unraveling.
Tired. He just wanted it over.
The pain. Pain again. Again. Always.
It didn't leave.
Warm, thick confusion had folded over his mind like sleep, and buzzing filled his ears.
It didn't hurt.
But it did.
Just inside though.
No, it was the outside.
His chest was throbbing. It felt like the walls of his stomach and his ribs were trying to collapse on themselves. He felt nauseous almost. And cold.
But it was all in the inside, not a thing caused by the angry people swarming him like crows. Maybe at least.
Maybe he was dying. It almost sounded good. It did actually.
Then that weird aching would stop. Not in his lungs... Not blood or bone... What was hurting so much in his chest?
Not a lot. A little.
It felt like a severe wound. No, a sliver. No...
He suddenly noticed the loud thudding in his ears. It blocked out other sound. Or maybe he just couldn't focus on the noises outside his head. It was getting hard to focus. Like being really tired.
Sick maybe?
Oh. His heart.
That's what was noisy. It hurt. A lot.
He felt kind of sad when he listened to it. It was like watching a dying bird struggle helplessly. It wasn't funny to him. It could have been, pain was funny a lot. Though right now was not a time for laughing.
It was sad. Blue and black on white.
Helplessness. For both him and the bird. He wanted to help it.
Normally when he felt helpless, things got funny.
Normally when things were sad or scary, they were funny.
Anything could be laughed at.
Jokes and games were funny. They were just fine. They ended.
Safe. No danger.
Let them be real. Let his fear and impulses force jokes and laughter down other's throats that came back as screams. Screams that were as familiar and comforting as a whistle to dinner.
Screams and violence that blocked the thoughts that pounded through his head and hurt!
He could feel a bizarre high giggle in the back of his mind. Was it out loud? Did it make it to his lips?
Laugh, laugh, laugh, Russia. Laugh and laugh until you can't breath, smile until your face hurts or else everything will fall down and you'll break and be chopped up and die more than any physical wound. Let the pain be somewhere else so the things in front of your face aren't real. Laugh and laugh. Don't worry. Things fix.
Laugh and smile. Don't stop.
Or you'll never start again.
-.+
The man shouts in Russian at them.
"Anyone have a clue what the git is saying?" Britain asks.
He receives only a chorus of no's.
"It did sound rather violent and angry though." Germany suggests.
"Dudes!" America suddenly exclaims. "I can, like, totally do this! I'm not the melting pot of the world for nothing right!?"
Britian looks pessimisticly doubtful. "America, I'm not so sure about that. Your citizens seem a tad... Ignorant of other countries and their languages."
"What's that supposed to mean?" America asks with an infuriatingly blank look.
"It means there's a reason the English language loses its respectability when you use it!" Britian snaps.
"Oh c'mon Britian! Your not still angry about LOL right? Textese is super cool! I bet even your lame county uses it too!"
"Why you!"
"Заткнись иностранцев!"
They turn their attention back to the angry Russian. His filthy clothing hanging off his thin body was being tugged back by strong winds, showing his desperation, and the gun in his hand and the suspicious look made it clear he was ready to kill to live.
He points it at them, shifting targets whenever someone so much as twitched.
"Are we all in aggreance that this man posses a threat?" Germany asks.
"Yup."
"Alright, then we need to move him forcibly."
China and Japan move at the same time, diving towards him with the speed they both had built over the years.
"Aya! Move back Japan! I have this!"
"Then allow me to assist you!"
"Noo! Out of the way!"
"I must politely refuse to comply!"
The others shake their heads at the two Asian brother's bickering as they dodge the Russian's bullets. Finally, China hits the man over the head with the wok and knocks him out.
"See?! I told you I had him!" China retorts to Japan.
"Yes, after I moved you out of the path of his bullet." Japan replies calmly.
"Which I would have dodged anyways had you not interfered!"
"China!" Germany yells to stop the fight.
"Regardless of who was or wasn't capable of bringing down a single man, we still need to move his body out of sight!"
China pouts, but helps Japan drag the man behind a nearby building that looked inhospitable.
Japan ignores China's grumbling, turning to survey for witnesses, then freezes. "Is that... A child?"
China looks up, surprised. "It is! A girl I think!"
The girl sees them and turns to run with a scared look.
"Wait! Don't be scared!" China calls and chases her.
"Yes, because seeing two foreigners dragging her unconscious country-man is no reason to fear." Japan mumbles as he hurries after his brother.
"I never raised you to have such a smart mouth Japan. I think those westerners are rubbing off on you too much." China complains.
Are they really? Japan wonders absently.
The girl run into another crumpled building and straight into the hands of a very tall, skinny man.
This man also has a rifle, and doesn't hesitate to point it aggressively at the two Asian brothers with his brown, almond-shaped eyes glareing at them through platinum-blond bangs.
Realizing this man's protectiveness over the little girl, Japan puts his hands up in a surrendering gesture. China follows awkwardly.
"We do not mean any harm." Japan says gently. He had no idea if this man spoke English, but it was worth a shot at least.
"Then why were you attacking my little sister?" He growls in a thick accent.
Japan tries a light, almost confused smile. "We are a bit lost. We were only hoping she could help us."
The girl whispers in Russian to the man's ear and his scowl deepens. "My sister says she saw you dragging a dead body. She thinks you are killers."
Japan shakes his head, but as he opens his mouth, China beats him to speaking. "That man was just unconscious. He had been threatening us with bullets in our skulls, similarly to what you are doing now. I suggest you put it down before someone is hurt, aru."
Clearly, China was not planning on using diplomacy.
The man glares darkly at him and levels his gun to China's head. "I think you two are threats. Its best I eliminate you right here."
"Stop!"
They all turn to a man in the corner. He looks far older and is missing a leg, along with part of his arm by the looks of the bandaging. He looks very weak and ill, but his eyes were smoldering and proud.
"Father, I don't understand! These men are clearly untrustworthy! We are in enough danger an-"
"Enough!" The older man scowls at his son. "I will be the judge of that!"
He turns his sharp eyes, almond and brown like his son's, to stare piercingly at China and Japan.
"Drop your weapons if you're really 'peaceful'" He commands and hesitantly, they obey.
"What are your names?"
"I am Kiku Honda. My brother is Wang Yao. We apologize for the trouble we've caused," Japan says with a slight bow, still cautiously watching the son's rifle trained on them.
The older man frowns. "Kiku Honda and Wang Yao. Brothers... Yet of different nationalities."
Japan bites his lip. Why, for once, could this person be like so many others who couldn't tell the difference between one Asian and another? "That's right, we're adopted siblings."
"Of course. Nations do technically have to 'adopt' others as their siblings."
China and Japan both jerk back with shock.
The man smiles and says, "Welcome to Russia, Japan and China. I am the former Prime Minister."
Well isn't that fun? First paranoid stranger they meet leads them straight to the Prime Minister.
By the way, I'm American, so I dunno if other non-Asian countries really don't recognize the different nationalities well. It may just be us in the ignorant melting pot. Speaking of which, anyone know if Brits use textese? I'm really curious.
The style in the part with Russia was inspired through the books Black Eyed Suzie and Unwholly (the part where techy guy whats-his-face is looking back on his depressing Unwind life, if I remember right). I had to rewrite it because it looked wrong to me the first time. Too clearheaded and coherent and romanticized. Lame.
It took a while to update because, after reading some inspiring, heartfelt fiction on the Nordics, I couldn't keep that Russian feeling.