Chapter 4: Trouble in Paradise
Yuuto sighed as he walked down the hallways of the 5th Division barracks, his body tired from several days of intense training sessions and mountains of paperwork. It only got worse when his Lieutenant seemed to ignore or outright avoid him, almost as if he had a cold that she could catch.
"Baka. Give her time! She probably hasn't yet gotten over her Captain's betrayal. I heard that he was like a father to her, so she probably took his betrayal the worst." he thought to himself.
Reaching his quarters, he slid the door open and walked in, taking his sword from his obi and setting it next to the desk. Sighing, he set about getting ready for bed (he didn't care if it was 4 in the afternoon. He was tired, damn it!), but stopped as he was about to remove his clothes. Looking around, he could have sworn he heard a noise. When it didn't happen again, he chalked it up to being stuck in the Dangai for too long, and disrobed. He didn't notice the small droplets of blood that landed on the floor nearby as he re-clothed himself in his night attire.
As he reached his futon, he blinked, then shook his head, sidestepping a strike aimed for the back of his neck, intent on severing the spinal cord and dropping him like a rag doll. Reaching out, he caught the blade in his hand, and his eyes widened. This blade had three prongs on it, so it could only belong to-
"Hajike, Tobiume! (Snap, Flying Plum Tree)"
His quarters all but exploded into flame. Shaking his hand, Yuuto blew on it to cool it off. Reiatsu was a wonderful thing, and being able to coat your hand in it to lessen damage was just one of the many benefits.
But he digressed. Looking over his (now ruined) quarters, he spotted several stacks of paperwork going up in flame. Were this under better circumstances, he'd be having a mental orgasm on the spot from seeing such a beautiful sight. However, someone had just tried to light him on fire, so he wasn't quite in the mood.
"To what do I owe this late night meeting, Hinamori-san?"
"You know damn well what, you imposter!" she shouted, hurling another fireball at him. This time, seeing as one of the walls had been blown out, he Shunpo'd out of the burning room, and landed in the main courtyard.
"Mataku...not even a week in, and my quarters are in shambles. God hates me."
Looking to his left, Yuuto watched Momo appear next to him, sword already coming down in an overhead arc. Reaching out, he caught her blade with little trouble, and held it firmly.
"Oi, seriously! What did I do to upset you so, Hinamori-chan?" The use of -chan on her name only infuriated her more, and another fireball made its' way to his face. He didn't bother to dodge, and caught it square in the cheek, the ball of flame singing his skin rather red.
"You're not my captain! My captain is...my captain is..." tears began to form in her eyes and she clenched her sword tighter. "MY CAPTAIN IS AIZEN-TAICHOU, NOT SOME WANNABE BASTARD LIKE YOU!"
Seeing her fireball did little damage, she thrust her hand into his face. "Hado no Sanjuusan: Sokatsui!" The blue flame further blistered his skin, and he groaned in pain as it put bruises on his already tender flesh.
Still, his hand did not relinquish its' hold on her blade, and she growled in anger.
"Let go of Tobiume, you hack!" Going from her hand to her finger, she pointed it at his forehead. "Hado no Yon: Byaku-"
With a backhand stroke, her hand was deflected from his face, the building energy of the Hado dissipating as Yuuto gave her a glare. "I can take a fireball to the face. I can take a Sokatsui to the face. But I am NOT about to have a Byakurai drill a hole in my skull."
With that, he gripped Tobiume hard enough to draw blood, and jerked it forward, causing Momo to lose her balance and stumble forward. Grabbing her wrist, he separated her from her sword and flung the blade behind him. The steel blade embed itself in the tiled ground behind them, and shifted back to its' sealed state.
"Let go of me, you lying, cheating, fake son of a bitch!" screamed Momo, her other hand clawing at his arm as she struggled to break his grip.
Shrugging, he let her go, and she dashed for her sword. Upon reaching it, she was startled to find it gone just as she reached for it. Looking around, she spotted Yuuto leaning against the wall, blood trickling down his head as he shouldered her sword.
"Give me back Tobiume, you prick!" she cried. "Chiniku no kamen, bansho, habataki, hito no na o kansu mono yo! Soka no kabe ni soren o kizamu, taika no fuchi o enten ni te matsu! (Ye lord! Mask of flesh and blood, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! On the wall of blue flame, inscribe a twin lotus. In the abyss of conflagration, wait at the far heavens!)Jutting her hands out rather similarly to a Kamehameha, she called out the name of the attack.
"Hado no Nananjuusan: Soren Sokatsui! (Hado #73: Twin Blue Fires, Crash Down)" While rather similar to Sokatsui, Soren Sokatsui is twice as destructive, as it utilizes both hands in the attack. The two blue fireballs screamed their way towards Yuuto, who momentarily contemplated using Tobiume to deflect them.
He took pity on the sword, as he could feel the pulses of sadness coming from the blade. Its' master was grieving, her heart having been torn asunder by her former captain. Slipping the blade into his obi, he pointed a finger at the oncoming blasts.
"Bakudo no Sanjuukyuu: Enkosen. (Bakudo # 39: Round Lock Fan)" The spinning yellow shield expanded to provide him with enough protection to cover his body's width. The spells collided, and blue energy was deflected to either side of the captain, leaving trench marks that carved deep gashes around where he stood.
"This has gone on long enough. Bakudou no Yon: Hainawa. (Bakudo #4: Crawling Rope)" Shooting the binding spell at Momo, Yuuto was momentarily surprised when she vanished from sight.
"Shunpo, eh? At least she's getting better, I suppose." Feeling the tug on his obi, he turned around to see Momo take back her Zanpakuto, it's Shikai once more released.
By now, several Shinigami had begun to gather, assuming that it was some sort of training exercise taking place between the Lieutenant and her Captain. Once several captains started appearing, though, it became a different matter altogether.
Hitsugaya was stunned. Momo Hinamori, one of the most respectable lieutenants and his childhood friend, was attempting to murder her captain in cold blood? His mind could not wrap itself around that. Hearing his name called, he turned to see Ichigo and Rukia appear, the last traces of Shunpo letting him know how they arrived so quickly.
"Toushiro, what's going on? Is there some sort of practice session taking place?" asked Ichigo.
"No, it's something different, Kurosaki." Ichigo's eyebrows rose. Toushiro had not bothered to correct him on his lack of formality. THAT set off warning bells in his head.
"Hitsugaya-taichou, what's going on?" asked Rukia.
Yuuto overheard her question, and turned to regard them. "Nothing's going on, just a little sparring practice."
Momo seemed to hesitate, then her shoulders shook visibly. "You...consider this...SPARRING PRACTICE?!" She let out an enraged yell, and held both her hands out, blue energy crackling in her palms.
Jushiro immediately recognized her technique, and moved to stop her. A hand landed on his shoulder, and he turned to regard Shunsui. "This is getting too dangerous. We need to stop this before someone gets hurt."
Kyoraku chuckled. "Yare, yare. You don't think Yuuto-san can handle a little attack like that? You're underestimating your sempai, my friend."
Ukitake looked back to where the energy was taking form, worry in his eyes. "But..."
Shunsui squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry. If he dies, we'll just have to find a new captain, is all."
Jushiro whipped his head around. "Kyoraku!"
He laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding."
Toushiro, meanwhile, was not even close to kidding. "Momo...HINAMORI! STOP THIS! YOU'RE GOING TO GET KILLED!" he shouted, his fear for his friend ever clear in his voice.
She smiled sadly at him, the ball of blue energy now the size of her palm. "Gomen, Shiro-chan, but Ishigawa-san has to die. No one can replace Aizen-taichou, and he needs to pay for even attempting to."
Blinking back tears, she focused her attention on the man before her. "Gomen, Ishigawa-san. It's nothing personal, but you can't replace Aizen-taichou. I won't allow it. Hado no Hachijuuhachi: Hiryugekizokushintenraiho! (Hado #88: Flying Dragon-Striking Heaven-shaking Thunder Cannon)"
The mid-sized ball of blue energy exploded outward, a giant wave of electrical energy flying towards Yuuto with the speed of a freight train. Ichigo watched, but widened his eyes as he saw Yuuto make no attempt to stop it. He just stood there, eyes hardening slightly before the blast engulfed him completely, tearing out a section of the wall behind him.
"Yuuto-san!" he cried. Several Shinigami turned their heads, certain they'd just witnessed a murder. Jushiro was one of them, already thinking of the ramifications that Hinamori would have to face, when he felt Kyoraku's hand on his shoulder squeeze lightly.
"Look." he said.
Turning his head, he gaped slightly as he saw Yuuto standing there, completely unscathed. Most thought he'd used the old nemesis of Hado #88, Bakudo no Hachijuuichi: Danku (Bakudo #88: Splitting Void), but they were corrected a second later when his sword arm was revealed through the cloud of dust and debris.
(It would take me far too long to describe his armor. If you wish to know what his armor looks like, follow this link: fs19/300W/i/2007/310/c/8/Haar_Pwnsome_8D_by_ )
Craning his neck, Yuuto looked at his armor, which now sported a smoking patch on the arm guard. "Tch, I JUST cleaned this last month, too. What the hell, man?"
Looking back up at Momo, Yuuto sighed, and deactivated his Shikai, the armor dissipating as he re-sealed his blade. Walking forward, he inwardly cringed as she took a few hesitant steps back, obvious fear in her eyes.
"He's going to kill me! I really went and did it, now. I'm really going to die! Oh, Kami-sama, please have mercy on me! I really don't want to di-" She blinked when a hand was put on her head. Looking up, she met the smiling face of her captain.
"Momo-chan, next time you have a problem, make sure to try and talk to me about it, okay? I know that I can never replace your captain, and I also know that you liked him quite a lot, but I will do my best to listen to anything you have to say, okay?" He ruffled her hair a little, getting her to squirm. "That's my job as a captain, after all!"
Turning to the crowd, which now consisted of a lot of curious and somewhat baffled Shinigami, he gave them a toothy grin. "Alright! Show's over! Get back to your jobs, people!"
Some grumbled, not looking forward to returning to work. Others were all excited, having gotten to see the new captain in action. As the majority of the Shinigami went back to their individual duties, Hitsugaya leapt down into the courtyard, and walked over to Hinamori's side.
"Hinamori, are you okay?"
She nodded, her eyes downcast. "Gomen, Shiro-chan. I...I wasn't thinking clearly. It's just, with everything that had happened...and the war...and Aizen-taichou...and you..."
Toshirou winced, remembering the time he'd been tricked into impaling Momo on his sword. That would forever be a low point in his life, not only for that, but for the complete and utter way he lost control, attacking Aizen like a greenhorn fresh out of the Academy.
Snapping back to the present, he put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "It's all right, Momo. I'm sure the capt-er, Yuuto-san...I'm sure he won't press charges, am I correct?"
Yuuto nodded. "I don't see the need for any disciplinary action. Emotions outrule logic quite often, from my experience. I won't hold it against her, but if it happens again, there will have to be some punishment."
He grinned. "I can't have her blowing up my quarters too often, now can I?"
Ichigo landed next to Yuuto, followed by Rukia. After hearing the captain's comment, followed by Hinamori's horrified gasp as she remembered, followed by her profuse apologies, he chuckled. "You poor man. You just can't catch a break, can you?"
Yuuto shook his head. "Afraid Fate has other plans in store, my friend. As they say, "There ain't no rest for the wicked", and I sure as hell ain't a saint."
Uproarious laughter had them all turn to see Ukitake Jushiro and Shusui Kyoraku walking up, the latter holding his sides in mirth. "How true, how true. I like you a lot, Yuuto-san. Quick-witted, and powerful to boot. You and I need to go drinking, preferably now."
Jushiro chuckled himself. "Now, now, Kyoraku. No need to add to Yuuto-sempai's problems. Getting him drunk will only further complicate matters."
Scoffing, Kyoraku dismissed the notion immediately. "Nonsense! Good sake always helps ease the stress of a long day's work. I should know. Now, come on. We've got some bar-hopping to do. Ukitake, you're coming, too. Kurosaki, where do you think you're going?"
While Kyoraku had been attempting to convince Yuuto to go drinking, Ichigo had turned tail and begun to slink away, having already been at the 8th Division Captain's mercy once. He had no desire to be part of another drinking contest, and he knew that most of the Shinigami could drink him under the table easily. He may be a strong fighter, but alcohol was not his strong suit.
Turning, he regarded the eyes of the straw-hat man. "Er, sorry, Kyoraku. I...got some things I need to take care of back in the Human World, and I-"
"Oh, bullhocky! You're going bar-hopping, and that's that!" In the blink of an eye, Ichigo found himself being drug towards the rougher parts of Rukongai, Rukia's face betraying her barely concealed laughter and Momo's look of worry following the Substitute Shinigami. Kyoraku's drinking binges were legendary, and pity the poor soul that got dragged to one of them.
Her captain sighed, and Momo turned to him. "Well, if I DON'T go, I'll just end up being dragged like poor Ichigo here. So I might as well walk there. Momo, if you could get some of the squad members to fix up my quarters, I'd really appreciate it. Okay?" He flashed her a warm smile, and Momo felt herself blushing.
"H-hai!"
Nodding, Yuuto turned to Shunsui. "Well, that takes care of that. Do your worst, Kyoraku."
A chilling laughter came from said man, and he grinned. "You...I REALLY like you, my friend. You and I are going to get along PERFECTLY! Well, let's go!" And with that, he resumed his trek towards the outskirts of Seireitei, dragging a flailing Ichigo behind him.
"Oi, wait! Stop! I don't want to do this! You can't make me do this! Rukia! Yuuto! Someone! Anyone! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP HIM! I CAN'T WAKE UP NEXT TO A NAKED IKKAKU AGAIN! HAVE MERCY! NOOOOOOOO!"
Sadly, no one came to his aid, and with a flash of Shunpo, the four individuals were gone, leaving Toshirou, Rukia, and Momo to gaze at the spot where they once were, and wonder just how bad the following morning was going to be.
Toshirou seemed to have an idea, because as he turned to leave, he gave the girls a piece of advice:
"You might want to get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a LONG day."
The next morning, things were...well, bad. First off, the whole gang had been invited to give Yuuto a late celebratory drinking party for becoming a new captain. Renji, Kira, Matsumoto, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Iba, and Hisagi also joined in on the action, having apparently planned this out for some time, as they'd reserved an entire section of the bar just for their 'party'.
Upon Kyoraku, Ukitake, Yuuto, and Ichigo's arrival, the party got into full swing. A fun time was had by all, and everyone went home somewhat sober.
…
…
Okay, that's a bald-faced lie.
By midnight, the bar was all but ruined. Ikkaku had gotten into a rather nasty brawl with a couple of goons (by couple, we mean 20) that had made fun of his 'shiny head'. After the bodies-er, individuals, were removed from the premises, the night continued, unabated.
…
…
Okay, that's another lie.
Several more fights broke out when some Shinigami had tried to hit on Matsumoto, and in her drunken state, she had 'playfully declined' (she beat them to within an inch of their lives with glass pitchers, several ashtrays, and a bar stool.)
The men (namely Renji, Ikkaku, Kira, Iba, and Hisagi) felt it was 'their duty to protect the beautiful, busty women of the world', and each had pounced on the unsuspecting bystanders with the fury of a wild beast. This led to even more destruction, and only Kyoraku's uproarious laughter could be heard above the screams, shouts, and the breaking of glasses, tables, and chairs.
After "Bar Brawl 2" came to a conclusion, all patrons were ejected from the trashed establishment, with a sworn promise to seek compensation for the damages.
However, since this was a "bar-hopping excursion" (much to Ichigo's dismay) the night continued unabated, until the sun peeked its' head over the horizon, checking the earth below to see if the coast was clear.
Sadly, Ichigo did end up waking next to a naked Ikkaku, but at least Yumichika was covering the unmentionables, so it wasn't as bad as last time. (Bleaching his mind was going to be on his To-Do List, though.)
The pounding headache was not a welcome friend in his time of need, nor was the uncomfortable feeling of having slept on wood flooring half the night. Struggling to regain his bearings, Ichigo looked around.
He kinda wished he hadn't.
Bodies were sprawled everywhere, and it took him a few minutes to realize he was not actually in the middle of a massive homicide scene (after all, there was only a pint or so of blood on the floor, and that was probably from Ikkaku, so nothing to worry about there.)
He noticed a particular group off in the corner, and recognized some faces: Renji, Kira, and Hisagi were all curled up/sprawled in the corner, one seemingly piled on top of the other, as if they'd been unceremoniously hurled into the corner...which could have quite possibly been what happened.
He spotted Iba on a table, mumbling something about doggy treats, and Ukitake was laying on a couch. He had no idea how they got a couch into the bar, but he had a sneaking suspicion that it belonged to someone who was going to realize that it was gone. And then they were going to flip their lid something fierce.
Sighing, Toshirou Hitsugaya unlocked the door to his office. He just KNEW that Matsumoto was going to be late today. He also figured that she wouldn't be of much help, if any, with paperwork. He anticipated that he was going to have to do her work on top of his, and he was not looking forward to it.
However, what he hadn't anticipated was what greeted him upon opening his office. The key in his hand clattered to the floor, and he could only stand there in shock as his eyes took in the pure, unadulterated, and wanton destruction that greeted him. His desk was overturned, the drawers pulled open and paperwork scattered like they'd been shot out of a wood chipper.
His chair was sticking out of his window, and he had no idea how the glass had held for this long. As if feeling his growing temper, and deciding to toss propane onto the blazing fire that was Hitsugaya's emotional state, the window chose that very moment to shatter and drop the chair unceremoniously to the ground with a loud THUD.
Looking around, he saw that his closets had been flung open, his bookshelves had been ransacked, and everything else looked as if a tornado had decided to play tag with another one inside his office.
However, the most damning evidence was not what was strewn throughout the room, which were various empty bottles of sake that implied a rather raucous party had taken place, but rather, what was missing...
His couch.
…
…
…
*Insert tea kettle bubbling, foaming, then exploding*
"...MATSUMOTOOOOOO!"
Back with Ichigo, he looked over to where Shunsui lay, curled up on a futon that he'd brought beforehand and snoring away blissfully. The sudden urge to strangle him in his sleep came over Ichigo, but just as quickly disappeared. It wasn't worth it, anyway.
Turning to get up, he blinked when his hand encountered something soft. He rubbed it for a bit, still not sure what it was. Finally, he gave it a squeeze, and someone moaned. THAT set off red flags in his head, and he turned to see just what he was grabbing. He nearly choked on his saliva.
Yuuto was sprawled on the floor next to him, completely naked except for a fundoshi that covered his privates. As if that wasn't traumatizing enough for the poor boy, a nearly nude Matsumoto was draped over him, completely exposed save for the shukakushou that covered them both, yet left little to the imagination.
Blood began to flow freely from Ichigo's nose, and just when he thought he had himself under control, he looked to where his hand was.
He'd been groping her butt.
That did it. All the blood rushed to his face, and Ichigo passed out, his head landing on the floor with a resounding THWACK.
Meanwhile, outside the bar, a white-haired demon was tearing up sections of Rukongai, looking for a certain strawberry-blonde lieutenant and his precious couch.
Chapter 4, done! Whee, I'm on a roll. Hopefully, this momentum will carry into my other story, as well. Regardless, continue to read, comment, rate, review, etc. Whatever peaks your interest.
-Sgt. Assassin