This was actually done last night but it was getting late and I wasn't completely happy with it. After letting it sit for a day, I went through and smoothed it out.
*
Unexpected Baggage- 4
After retyping the last sentence of his order three times, Grimmjow shoved the laptop back on the bench. He'd been fine at first, his relief at seeing Ichigo again strong enough to push everything else back. But once he'd calmed down, it started to gnaw at him again. This whole thing had brought up some rather unpleasant memories. He knew there were some that were still partially buried but he was in no hurry to dig them up just yet. If at all. He'd been okay by himself. Doing fine.
Bracing his elbows on the bench, he rested his head in his hands and sighed. If that were really true, he wouldn't be agonizing over it now. At first, he hadn't been sure why he'd held onto Ichigo so tightly earlier. At the time, his first immediate thought was that they should just go at it right there and beat some of their aggravation out on each other. A real fight may have done them both some good and from the few moves he'd seen, it looked like Ichigo could have held his own easily. But Grimmjow had brushed it off with the excuse that Ichigo's rage made him dangerous. He snorted to himself. He wasn't worried about getting injured even if the kid somehow managed to kick his ass.
No, that wasn't it. When it came right down to it, he didn't want to hurt him. At least not physically anyway. Of course, he'd managed to do more than enough emotional damage to make up for it. Which he'd also been trying hard to avoid. Maybe he should have given in and taken him right there on the couch. But as soon as he thought that, Grimmjow shook his head again. Still not an option. For whatever reason it started, that would have been just as bad. No matter how he mulled it over and thought of different possibilities, he couldn't think of a decent outcome to what had happened upstairs.
Turning his head slightly, he looked at Ichigo out of the corner of his eye. Or maybe this was the best that could have come of it. Ichigo was still here and hadn't become a statistic. And Grimmjow didn't hate himself completely for doing something that he couldn't take back. Neither of them seemed to have gotten what they wanted, but Grimmjow wasn't even sure what that was. That was a problem too. Not really knowing what he wanted. At least not beyond his prurient interest in the redhead that still slept soundly not five feet away.
Grimmjow scrubbed his face with his hands as if trying to rub away the last of his confusion. Prying open the laptop again, he finished the transaction that had been waiting while he'd had his little intellectual episode. He seemed to be having a lot of those lately. An icon at the bottom of the screen blipped cheerfully.
'You busy?' The tiny letters appeared inside the chat window that popped up when he clicked on it. Grimmjow groaned quietly. He didn't need this right now. He typed quickly and let out a small laugh at the icon that appeared with his response. The animated peanut was blowing a continuous raspberry on the screen.
'Yes. What do you want?' He hadn't talked to Takuma since before he'd taken time off and he'd forgotten about setting up the image especially for him. There was a pause before the other man answered.
'You're such an asshole, Grimm.'
'And you're a neurotic obsessive with no sense of humor. We're even. What do you want?' Ordinarily, he wouldn't be bothered to deal with somebody who seemed like such an idiot. On the surface it looked like way too much work to maintain the connection. But Takuma could find a buyer for anything. You name it, he could sell it. Domestic, imported, hot or legal. He was one of the best accidental finds Grimmjow had made when he went out on his own. Which was why he wasn't just blowing him off. Well, not immediately anyway.
'Just wanted to know what you were up to. Got a shopper looking for something specific.' Not only would he happily fence parts, he brought in business from outside as well.
'Can't do orders right now. Find someone else.' Grimmjow was about to close the window until he saw the hastily written response.
'Nobooody's better than you and they need you for a job.' Grimmjow raised a brow at the typo. Usually Takuma was way too fastidious to let something like that slip. But he really didn't have time to deal with him right now. He had more than enough cash for a while and there were other things he needed to focus on at the moment. Not to mention he didn't like working for someone he didn't know. If it was specifically for Takuma, that was different. This sounded like he was bringing somebody else into it. Which was also a little off. He knew better then to add an unknown into the mix. And if it had been a regular, he would have said so.
'I'm not a contractor. Find somebody else.' Grimmjow shut the window and closed the program completely. He really didn't need to listen to the other guy whine. Which he inevitably would. Not right now. He knew Takuma would pout for a while but this wouldn't end their business relationship. The other man liked the money too much.
A soft exhalation from the direction of the couch made Grimmjow tense up. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to relax slowly. No need to let Ichigo see how rattled he was. Not that he wouldn't notice since Grimmjow wasn't giving him some sort of sarcastic remark. He kept quiet as the redhead shifted on the couch to watch him. Grimmjow swiveled the stool, one arm resting on the bench, the other hand braced on his knee. There was that mildly uncomfortable silence again. But what could they say? Something normal which would imply that nothing happened and reduce its meaning to nothing? Or something conciliatory that would ultimately sound clichéd and stupid?
"You're gonna work off the cost of that window since you've apparently decided to stick around." Or he could just continue speaking his native language. Asshole. Fortunately, Ichigo didn't seem to take it personally. He just let out a short laugh before shrugging.
"Better the window than your face." Ichigo sat up on the couch and smirked. "No wait, I take that back." Grimmjow clenched his teeth and felt the twinge of the bruise that was no doubt growing darker along his jaw. After a moment, Ichigo sighed and held up a hand. "Sorry, just gimme a sec." There was another quiet moment that hung on the air. Ichigo seemed to sag a little where he sat. It wasn't the deep depression he'd been drowning in earlier but it wasn't a happy posture either. Drawing his legs up to his chest, he hugged his arms around them and rested his chin on his knees. The position made him look so much younger than the date on his driver's license and Grimmjow shifted his gaze back to the bench. "Now what?" The question drew his eyes back to see honest curiosity with a healthy dose of apprehension in Ichigo's expression.
"Depends." Grimmjow watched the younger man frown when he didn't elaborate.
"On what?"
"On how much you know about cars."
"I can drive them." The frown deepened and Ichigo looked a little lost at the change in topic.
"Which means next to nothing." Grimmjow got up and went over to the large filing cabinet on the far wall. Digging around in the middle drawer for a minute, he came out with what he'd been looking for. As he passed the couch, he dropped the large manual on the cushion. It bounced once before settling. "Take a look at chapter four before you take the door apart so you can fish out any glass that might have fallen inside." Grimmjow nearly laughed at Ichigo's blank, mildly shocked look. He sat on the stool again and caught the boy's gaze out of the corner of his eye before nodding to the broom in the corner. "After you've swept up the mess you made of course." He let the corner of his mouth tug in a small smirk and was rewarded with narrowed eyes and a quiet snarl. But Ichigo merely got up and went to get started. Grimmjow thought he saw a small spark of relief in his gaze. But it might have been his imagination.
An hour later, Grimmjow shut down the computer and turned around to see that all four door panels were now off with the insides exposed. Ichigo had the manual in his lap and was playing with the wiring that was hooked to the forward speakers. Good, he was interested enough to tinker with it. Grimmjow had wanted to give him something to do. Something he could focus on. If he were in Ichigo's position, it's what he would have wanted. Anything so he wouldn't have to dwell on the thoughts that kept trying to grab his attention. Which is what he himself had been doing by researching current prices and blue book values. It had become familiar and routine at this point. Something that had been missing recently. He honestly couldn't remember why he'd taken the time off in the first place.
"Shit." Ichigo swore under his breath and snatched his hand back from the door. A small spot of blood was welling on the pad of his thumb, probably from catching it on a burr somewhere. Grimmjow watched him nearly stick the injured finger in his mouth until he realized how filthy it was from working on the car. "Well damn." Ichigo jumped when Grimmjow spoke.
"There's a first aid kit up in the bathroom."
"Yeah." Ichigo flipped the manual closed so he could stand up and stretch. "I need a shower anyway." He caught the other man watching and gave him a dry look. "Unless there's something else you want me to do." Yeah, no hidden meaning there. Grimmjow just shook his head.
"No, that should cover it."
"Speaking of covering." Ichigo eyed the washer and dryer that sat in the corner. "I need a clean change of clothes." He plucked at his dusty jeans.
"I've got a couple things that might fit you for now." The kid was a little smaller than him so he'd have to dig around for something that had a drawstring. No need to have his pants slipping off those slim hips. And it never stopped. Would he ever be able to look at him and not think about sex? Grimmjow scratched the back of his neck to cover his awkwardness with only mild success. "If you want."
"That would be fine." There was an amused tone to Ichigo's reply. Great. He thought it was funny. Dropping his hand back into his lap, Grimmjow caught his gaze. He held in the snarky remark that was on the tip of his tongue. The look in Ichigo's eyes was level and calm. There were still shadows of what was bothering him but it would take more than a simple distraction to make those go away.
"You okay?" Grimmjow nearly bit his tongue. Yes, he wanted to know but he hadn't intended to come right out and ask. That seemed a little too forward even for him. But there was no insult or indignation in Ichigo's expression at the question. Instead he seemed to be taking some sort of mental inventory as he tilted his head slightly.
"Yeah." His mouth moved into a small, wistful smile. "Mostly." Nodding, Grimmjow headed upstairs with Ichigo trailing after him. Halfway up, he turned his head.
"Shut the lights off, would you?" There was a brief roll of brown eyes before Ichigo trudged back down to flick the switch. It gave Grimmjow enough space so that he didn't feel the heat of the younger man's body on his back. His resolve was shaky enough as it was. When he got to the bedroom, he started rooting around in his dresser for something that would fit. He could hear the water start to run in the next room. Grimmjow wasn't sure if he was irritated or pleased that Ichigo hadn't waited to get the clothes first before undressing and getting into the shower. And then he couldn't decide whether he wanted him to come out in nothing but a towel or if he wanted to deliver the clothes himself. Not that he would to look when he went into the bathroom or anything. He let out a long sigh.
Out in the main room, Grimmjow only opened the bathroom door enough so he could set the clothing down on the edge of the sink and then he shut it again quickly. One thing at a time. Needing something to do, he put away the dishes from earlier and wiped down the counter. Which didn't need it. But he needed to be busy with something. As he puttered around, he started to realize how little there actually was up here. All his time was spent down in the garage.
After sitting on the couch and getting back up to pace a couple of times, he ended up leaning on the back of the sofa with his hands resting on the top of the cushions. Not exactly the picture of relaxed, but he was on edge for some reason and wasn't really sure why. The door opened and he clenched his fingers. He had no more idea of what to do now than before their fight earlier. Television held no interest. Go to bed maybe? And then what? He'd have to wake up and deal with all this sometime.
Ichigo wasn't quite swimming in the shorts and t-shirt that he was wearing, but they hung off his frame a little. He was watching Grimmjow with a thoughtful expression, but the other man didn't really know what was running through his head. "You were right, you know." Ichigo's words were quiet. Whatever Grimmjow thought he may have been thinking, that wasn't it. He frowned uncertainly.
"About what?" He'd said a few things before, none of them particularly complimentary. He swallowed as Ichigo came closer. Grimmjow found himself in the same kind of painful stillness as the first time Ichigo had tried to approach him. For all his teasing impulses, he wasn't sure how to react to his expression. He had an intense look in his eyes that was similar to before, but there was more to it now for some reason. The redhead came all the way over and stood less than a foot away before speaking again. "I was using you. But not in the way you think."
"Really." Yeah, the ultimate conversationalist. That's what he was. Grimmjow focused on his breathing and keeping it relatively even. Man, he hadn't been this awkward even when he'd been an adolescent when that kind of thing was expected. Not that he'd had a normal, healthy childhood where the expected was ever likely to happen. Ichigo reached out and placed his hand flat on Grimmjow's chest. The other man took a deep breath as if the expansion of his lungs would push it away so he wouldn't have to.
"I don't want you to punish me." Which was good. Grimmjow wasn't really into that kind of thing. He didn't know where this was going. Ichigo's eyes were on his hand where it rested against his chest. He raised them to meet Grimmjow's wary expression. "I've never really been able to get away from the things that bother me most. The things that make everything harder. Until yesterday."
"Where is this coming from? Did you meditate in the shower and have some sort of epiphany just now?" Grimmjow winced inwardly as Ichigo narrowed his eyes. He must have winced a little outwardly as well because the younger man relaxed his expression after watching Grimmjow's face for a moment.
"Actually yeah. Between the hot water and the sound, it's not a bad time to do it. But anyway. . ." He raised his brows expectantly and waited a beat as if to see if Grimmjow would interrupt again. When he didn't, Ichigo continued. "I don't really know how to explain it really."
"You don't have to explain anything if you don't want to." And you don't have to let me see into your head. That might be a little too close. The frown returned as Ichigo clenched his fingers in the fabric of Grimmjow's shirt.
"I just want you to fuck me until I can't think anymore. As far as I know, that doesn't require much explanation." Ichigo was staring at him, that intense expression pinning him to the couch more firmly than his hand. Grimmjow clenched his own fingers on the couch cushions. He really should be ending this conversation before he said anything else stupid or it went in directions best left avoided. After a few moments of searching Grimmjow's face, Ichigo dropped his hand and stepped back. There was a look of dissapointment on his face as he turned around and moved toward the kitchen.
Something shifted in Grimmjow and he was stepping forward to wrap his arms around Ichigo's waist from behind before he could walk away. The younger man stilled. "Just when I think you're honestly saying no, you do something like this. It confuses the hell out of me. You've been so damned careful and you've kept me at a distance when I'm pretty sure you don't want to." He huffed out an irritated breath.
"You have no idea." Grimmjow's could smell his soap on Ichigo's skin, and for some reason, it was an incredible turn on.
"Then tell me." Ichigo threw his earlier challenge right back at him. He should have expected as much since he'd walked right into that one.
"Aside from the fact that it would be wrong?" Grimmjow felt Ichigo shift so he could tilt his head to look him in the eye.
"'Wrong' doesn't seem to have the same definition in your dictionary as it does in everybody else's." Ichigo raised a brow. "I'm pretty sure the car doesn't belong to you. Or when I look up the title, will it actually say 'Dickhead' in the owner's space?" His expression didn't change when Grimmjow growled and tightened his grip.
"You know damn well what I mean."
"Why is it wrong if it's something we both want?" Grimmjow didn't have an answer to that. Ichigo twisted around in his arms to look up into his face full on. The openness of his gaze was a little unsettling and Grimmjow almost moved back. Slim but strong arms slid around his waist to hold him in place. He could feel the fabric of his shirt bunching at his lower back where Ichigo clutched it tightly in his fingers. "It's not taking if I'm giving it to you. And I know exactly what it is that I'm offering." The orange haired head tiled to the side in consideration. "I meant it when I said I've seen how you look at me. Don't tell me you don't want to because I'll know you're lying."
Well shit. Grimmjow felt a little trapped at the moment. And the worst part of it was that he wasn't sure he wanted to get away. He ran his hands lightly up and down Ichigo's back making the younger man sigh and lean into him. Grimmjow still wasn't sure he was going to do this but he didn't see the pained desperation from before. Not that they'd be any better off or healthier for sleeping together now. But it seemed more likely that it would happen because they both wanted it and nothing else. Which he could live with. There was a tug on his shirt.
"I appreciate your caution. Really I do." Ichigo nuzzled Grimmjow's neck lightly and he could feel the warm breath against his skin. "But if you wait any longer I might have to turn my frustration in a different direction and kick your ass." Grimmjow laughed at that. Leaning down, he murmured into the damp orange hair.
"Until you can't think, huh. With you, that might take a while." After a quick glance at the couch, he started steering the younger man towards the bedroom. They were going to need more room than that.