Carmilla holds her. She wraps her arms around Laura as the girl shudders and heaves with every shaky sob, and pretends not to hear the words that Laura whispers into Carmilla's chest because it wasn't meant to happen like this.

It was never meant to be like this.

There's muffled laughter outside of the coat closet door and Carmilla knows that they weren't quiet because they'd never been quiet, and then Carmilla is putting the pieces together in her head. And her mouth feels dry because suddenly things start making the worst kind of sense and then Laura is stiffening in the vampire's arms because apparently her thoughts are of a similar vein. Sitting up straight, all wet gasps and shaky breaths, Laura swipes at her tear-stained face violently, and Carmilla tries not to notice the way the flesh of her bare back ripples with tension because now is not the time.

Except Carmilla's heart is still in her throat, because not five minutes ago she had her face buried between milky white thighs and Laura's hands twisted in her hair. And now there was a throbbing between her legs and an ache in her gums where her fangs were raring to come out which now seemed highly inappropriate because Laura wasn't hers anymore. The vampire watched as Laura pulled her dress back onto her shoulders and tugged the hem down her thighs, except she couldn't seem to force herself to do anything except lay there, coated in a thin sheen of sticky sweat and smelling like sex, and feeling dirty and damp and used.

Laura doesn't look at her as she leaves.

Laura's face is red and puffy from the tears and her hair is sticking to her forehead and she's sure she must smell absolutely terrible because she hadn't showered since last night but all she can think about is finding Danny. The tall redhead is usually particularly easy to spot but Laura can't seem to find her anywhere today, and if she's searching just a little too frantically it's because Danny's left her three voicemail messages already, and certainly not because she's just come harder than she ever has in her entire life around her ex-girlfriend's fingers in her current girlfriend's hall closet.

'Have you seen Danny?'

Her voice is too high-pitched but the girls are too drunk to notice as they shake their heads no. Laura makes her way through every room of the house except the one currently occupied by a half-naked vampire and moves into the garden. Laura eyes fall on a flash of red hair amongst the green. She's sitting at the far end on a bench no one uses anymore and Laura feels sick because everything suddenly seems a little more real. Wearing a smile that she's not quite sure is authentic, Laura jogs the last few steps to the redhead as Danny stands at the sound of footfalls.

'Babe! I've been looking for you everywhere!'

The lie falls too easily from Laura's smiling lips and then the red head turns around to face her and they're not smiling anymore because Danny knows.

Danny knows.

She doesn't have to say anything. She's standing there and looking at Laura with eyes that are fire and Laura knows that she knows. Danny's teeth are tearing at her bottom lip and there are a hundred well-rehearsed words on the tip of her tongue, but the only one that comes out is why.

Laura doesn't know what she's doing here, and she sure as hell doesn't know what she's meant to say to make the last hour of her life disappear.

'I'm sorry.'

If the right words existed, those were not them. Danny's eyes fluttered closed and her jaw set hard as she knocked her white-knuckled fist too hard against her thigh, trying to keep her composure.

'I asked you –' She ground her teeth, eyes looking towards the sky because they couldn't look at Laura anymore, 'The first thing I did was ask you whether you wanted this and you sa-'

'I'm so sorry,' Laura's voice was broken in a way she knew she had no right to, but she had to say something. She could hear the pain in Danny's voice and all she wanted to do was take it away – take away last night and take away the hall closet and take away the words and the thoughts that never should have existed because they had put that look on Danny's face. 'I'm so sorry'

'Shut the fuck up and let me finish.'

Laura took a step back, her mouth gaping open, lips forming words that weren't being spoken.

'You said you wanted me. You said you loved me. It has been two fucking years. And you never loved me'

Laura's mouth opened in protest and there was salt on her tongue because somewhere along the line she'd started crying again.

'Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare tell me that you loved me. You've done enough of that for one lifetime, don't you think?'

And Laura doesn't know what to think because her heart is breaking - and maybe this time it was her own fault, but that she's discovering that it doesn't make it hurt any less.

'You two deserve each-other. I couldn't give a fuck anymore. She's going to hurt you and you're going to hurt her and you're both going to hurt pretty much everyone else, but you know what? I don't care. I just can't care anymore. Tear each other apart.'

Laura was numb as Danny pushed past her, heading back into the party. The thought occurred to Laura that she would eventually have to follow her steps except she couldn't imagine her legs ever moving again, let alone carrying her over the grass and into the house, past Danny and past Carmilla.

The footfalls behind her faltered and Laura found herself turning, without meaning to and without knowing entirely how. Danny's face is red and there are marks down her cheeks where the tears she finally let fall have carved tracks in her skin. And it's all Laura's fault.

'You were fucking her in the goddamn coat closet while I was three feet outside the door and you thought I wouldn't find out?'

And Laura has to say something because hearing it like that makes her sick and she didn't mean it – didn't mean any of it.

'Danny, I –'

'Fuck. You.'

The words were spat out and Laura felt bile rise up at the back of her throat, and she knows that there's nothing he can do. She knows there's nothing that she can possibly say, no magic words which could make the redhead stop and listen to the words she's not entirely should be said.

The patio door swings open and Danny stops mid-step and Laura thinks that maybe she'll turn around and come back to her until she hears another set of feet and sees another pale tear-tracked face and Laura almost laughs.

Join the club.

And then Laura's hands are flying to her face because Danny's fist has collided hard with Carmilla's nose and the vampire is stumbling backwards and blood is dripping from her chin. Carmilla's back collides with the glass door and Danny is less than three inches from her face, index finger pressed hard into Carmilla's chest.

Carmilla's eyes hold Danny's gaze and Danny knows she should be angry with the vampire that stole her girlfriend's heart but she can't. She can't because there's guilt and regret and all kinds of apology in those eyes, and Danny can see hurt that mirrors, and maybe even exceeds her own and she knows that Carmilla let her hit her and that she'd let her hit her again if she needed to. Danny grits her teeth and brings her palm down hard against Carmilla's cheek. It's less cathartic than she'd hoped but it's enough, because somehow Danny knows that whatever she does to Carmilla won't be half as bad as what Carmilla does to herself.

So Danny steps back, smoothing her hands down her thighs, eyes never leaving the vampire's own, and mutters out two words dripping with hurt and hatred and a strange sort of forgiveness.

'Thank you.'

She swung the door open and disappeared inside, and Laura became painfully aware that Carmilla's gaze had turned to her.

'Carmilla, I –'

And it seemed as if Laura Hollis might never get to finish a sentence again because Carmilla caught the door before it closed and disappeared inside, and Laura was alone.

Painfully, frighteningly alone.