The Many Lives (or Deaths) of Harry Potter

Well what do you know? I have discovered more ways for Harry Potter to pointlessly perish. Die, Harry Die!

Mwahahahahahahaha!

I apologize to all the mega Harry fans out there. I just can't help myself… Right now killing of Harry makes me feel... happy...

Special Thanks once more to: Pickle-Sidekick and Amber-is-a-little-bit-random. Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou. bowing

and thanks to all the reviewers. It's nice to know my work is appreciated :D

This really is the last chapter I believe. I am clean out of ideas here so...

Authors Note: This would have been posted just over a week ago, but nothing was uploading for me.

Harry ran as fast as he could to Hagrid's hut as the rain continued to pour down onto him. Finally he reached it and ran inside. A fire was crackling merrily in the empty hut; there was seemingly no one there. Harry decided he would wait for Hagrid to come back and went and sat on one of the chairs closest to the fire in an attempt to dry out. Feeling something brush his leg he looked down.

Hagrid, Dumbledore and several men from the disposal of dangerous creatures committee, made their way cautiously towards Hagrids hut, wands at the ready. The head of the committee looked at Hagrid, "so the Man-Eating Junegorp is trapped inside then?"

Harry sat on the very top of the Astronomy Tower feeling melancholy. His friends had tried to cheer him up, but to no avail. So now he was sitting on top of the Astronomy Tower, alone and sad. A storm raged around him as he tried to think of a way to cheer himself up. Suddenly he had an idea. Rising to his feet he raised his hands into the air and shouted, "I'm king of the world!"

He had completely forgotten that he had been taught lighting always strikes the highest point.

"Are you sure Hermione?" Harry asked his friend for the umpteenth time.

Hermione sighed, "Yes I am sure. This will completely and totally make you undetectable by Voldemort!"

Harry looked cautiously at the book, then at the potion, then back at Hermione. "Well if you're sure then" Raising the glass in which the potion resided he knocked it back, drinking the foul tasting liquid in one go. It took only a matter of seconds for something to happen. Harry gasped, clutched at his throat, and then after turning a bright rather pretty fuchsia, dropped onto the floor, obviously dead.

Hermione looked at the book, eyes flickering over the directions trying to find what went wrong. She turned the page, "Oh!"

Harry and Ron looked at each other, or more to the point at themselves. After making a risky decision they were going to try and deceive Voldemort by taking polyjuice potion to be each other and what not. It was quite a complicated and detailed plan. Ron (who looked like Harry) walked over to Harry (who looked like Ron) "This is really cool!" he chortled in Harry's voice.

"Too right" Harry agreed, then he laughed, "look I can attack myself better than Voldy can" he raised his wand, preparing to throw a tickling charm at his friend who looked like him. Suddenly out of nowhere Dobby appeared, "You shan't harm Harry Potter!" Harry was blasted by elf magic 20 metres into a solid brick wall at high speed.

Ron looked down at himself as Harry, "I could live with this..."

Harry Potter was furious, furious at the ministry, furious at all the truly stupid people who still didn't believe that Voldemort was out there. In fact he was furious at everything! In his fury he started throwing the occasional curse around; trying to vent his anger. One curse hit a rope which was tied to a bracket in the wall. He ignored it.

Ignoring that turned out to be a mistake because about 3 seconds later a 150 kilogram chandelier dropped from the roof, right where Harry was standing.

Harry Potter took a deep breath and prepared to apparate. He was the hero of the wizarding world and one of the best in his Defence Against the Dark Arts class, yet when it came to apparition, he was entirely hopeless. He took another breath, tried to clear his mind and apparated.

The keepers of the lions at London Zoo were puzzled, for some reason the lions didn't seem to be hungry. It was as if they'd already eaten... when the keepers left one of the lions coughed up a cracked pair of black framed glasses.

Harry was rather annoyed. After much trying and help from Dumbledore, Harry had managed to complete his animagus transformation. To his dismay however, he wasn't anything exciting or even normal, hell, compared to what he was a stag would have been incredible. Harry was a giant squid, about the size of a large cow or horse. He would have sworn if he had a mouth. He swam deeper into the lake, swearing in his head. He couldn't believe it. Of course Ron had laughed himself sick, Hermione had started spouting intellectual rubbish and Dumbledore had done nothing, except his eyes twinkled. He swam even deeper, still pissed off about his misfortune. Suddenly something grazed his side he turned to look around.

Behind him was a dozen merpeople all waving spears. He remembered during the triwizard tournament, he had seen the drawing of the merpeople hunting the... the... giant squid... Shit

Harry stared at the flying car hovering just outside of his bedroom window.

"You want me to jump" Harry began slowly "into a flying car... which is an entire storey of the ground... flying... from my window..."

Fred and George nodded encouragingly, Ron grinned "C'mon Harry, lets go!"

Harry took a deep breath and climbed onto the window sill, leaning out of it, he looked at the car and muttered 'jump' under his breath. He jumped.

Regrettably Harry overestimated the jump and leapt right over the car plummeting to the ground. Fred, George and Ron looked out the windows and winched. "We never saw anything, ok?" Fred asked. George and Ron nodded. "Right"

Harry walked idly along the empty corridors of Hogwarts. He was bored (again). For once he had gone a whole week without getting a detention for shouting, or saying inappropriate things at the inappropriate time, or being out of bounds, or being out of bed after curfew, or talking back to teachers, or... ok that's enough of that now... with a sigh, Harry looked up. He was near the 3rd floor corridor. in a sudden flash of brilliance (or more likely stupidity) Harry decided he was going to pay Fluffy a visit. He slipped through the door and looked at the massive 3 headed dog, which looked back, nostrils flaring as he breathed in the boy's scent. Before Harry realised what was going on the middle head lunged forwards and seized him, devouring him in seconds with no reason.

Fang was pissed off. That darn kid... the stupid black-haired one, the one that his master liked, had been fiddling with Fang's favourite bone and had pocketed it before he left. Stupid Kid...

Harry paced his dormitory, turning suddenly he savagely kicked his trunk then stood there and did nothing because the author (X'andirth) could not think of another way to die. Suddenly Harry had a heart attack and died almost instantly. Dissatisfied X'andirth went and ate some chocolate to make herself feel better. It worked so X'andirth went back to her story, incorporated herself into it and began to poke the lifeless Harry with a stick.

I think I am running out of ideas. Can you tell?

Authors Note: That's all folks and folkettes!