Darkwarrior17: Once again, I have nothing important to say at the present moment (November 4, 2005.)
Disclaimer: If it's not already obvious, I own nothing.
Darkwarrior17: Oh, by the way, if you are offended by anything in this chapter, please don't hurt me. Nov. 27, 2005.
One Smashing Vacation
IV
Trouble at the Vatican
"'Capital idea, it shouldn't be crowded this early in the morning!'" Marth did an imitation of Master Hand as they waited in the obscenely long line for the Vatican. "If that's true, then I'd hate to go in the afternoon."
"No matter, I'll wait." Mewtwo said, sitting down on the wall.
Half an Hour Later…
"'No matter, I'll wait.' WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR OVER A HALF HOUR!" Roy did an imitation this time.
"Hold on a sec." Mewtwo said, and suddenly concentrated on the people in front of them.
"You know, I just had a sudden urge to get behind those freaks!" Everyone in front of them said.
"Front of the line." Zelda said, smiling.
"Yes, I'm good like that."
Inside the Vatican…
"Oh boy, more metal detectors." Marth said.
"Here, give them here and I'll teleport them to the hotel." Mewtwo was gone and back in a flash.
"Um, what about him?" Link pointed at Master Hand, who still had the sword in his back.
"No matter, I can make it seem as though it's not there. No one will be able to see it… now!" The sword disappeared.
"Oh, good. Of course there's still the metal detector…"
"Laughable."
Bree! Bree! Bree!
The alarm went off as Master Hand stepped through the metal detector.
"I say, these metal detectors seem to be giving me a mite bit of trouble recently. I wonder what could have possibly-"
Don't worry, you can keep going. Mewtwo said as someone else's voice. And to the security guard: It didn't go off. Don't worry, the Pope is safe.
"We're through?"
"We're through."
Somewhere West of Rome…
"That was easily the longest flight I have ever experienced." Samus said, climbing out of the ship.
"Why?" Falcon asked.
"… You and Falco guard the ships. Fox and I are going hunting."
"Oh. For what?"
"Idiot. C'mon, Fox, let's get moving."
"Man, this is going to be a long walk."
"Who's walking?" Samus said, and took off running.
"Oh, for the love of God." Fox muttered, and ran after her.
In the Hall of Tapestries, the Vatican…
"Wow, these satellite photo quilts are really off." Marth said, looking at a tapestry of a map of Europe, according to the Romans.
"That's not a satellite photo, it's a map!" Link corrected.
"Ma-ma-map?"
"I say, I am yet to find a map of merry old England!" Master Hand said, looking slightly taken aback.
"So?"
"Oh, it was of a mite bit of importance back then, I believe. Hmmm, maybe down the hall. Odd, we seemed to have lost one of our group."
"What?"
"I say, my good friends, you seem to be a mite bit bad at observing. Mewtwo doesn't seem to be in the room, or hall I should say."
"Huh. Odd." Zelda was having this odd feeling that this was sounding familiar.
"Yeah, maybe he went to kill the Pope!" Roy laughed.
You could almost hear something hitting Zelda in the head.
"Ow!"
"What?"
"OH MY GOD-" several nuns crossed themselves. "HE'S GOING TO KILL THE POPE!"
She unfortunately shouted this, and almost every single Swiss Guard in the hall heard the words "Kill" and "Pope" in the same sentence.
"HEY! YOU!" One Swiss Guard came running, drawing his gun.
"I think it's time to leave." Master Hand said, slowly making his way to the door.
"Hey, Master Hand! There's a map of Great Britain!" Link pointed behind Master Hand.
"What! WHERE?" Master Hand quickly turned around, and Link caught his sword and pulled it out of Master Hand.
"HAHA! NOW WE RUN!" Link shouted, quickly sheathing the invisible sword and running out of the room.
"AHHHHHH!" Zelda, Marth, and Roy came barreling out of the room after him, dragging Master Hand.
"I say, be careful here! And I haven't found the map yet; oh, do give me a second!"
"COME BACK HERE!" The five Swiss Guards that were in the hall ran after them.
On Top Of St. Peter's Basilica…
Mewtwo surveyed the area. He knew that soon the Pope would go out some secret exit and hide in that castle down the road. He knew this because he had buried Zelda's memory of their conversation not very deep. "Kill" and "Pope" put in the same sentence together would trigger her memory, and knowing Zelda, she would probably shout the plan out for almost anyone to hear.
Suddenly there was a great commotion in the square, and Swiss Guards began to usher people out.
"Perfect." He muttered to himself. He slowly descended from where he was floating and landed on the dome, grabbing on to the pole on the top to secure himself. This was not a safety measure; it was to ensure better aim. He relaxed for a second and then concentrated for the Pope.
In the Sistine Chapel…
The Smashers had managed to lose the Swiss Guards momentarily, and were now catching their breath in the Sistine Chapel.
"Quick, take a picture!" Roy said, tying to grab the camera from Master Hand.
"I say, Roy, don't you ever read signs?" Master Hand said, pointing to a sign that said No Pictures. "Obviously, the sign implies that you aren't allowed to take pictures."
"Oh, give me that thing." Roy said, grabbing the camera and snapping a picture.
"Hey, you!" A Swiss Guard had noticed them. "Give me your-" a radio message from his belt suddenly interrupted him.
"Five suspects, believed to be trying to assassinate the Pope! Get all people out and keep your eyes out for a large white hand."
"Damn." Was all that Master Hand could say before being dragged off by Link and Marth, the Swiss Guard quickly following, shouting into his radio.
Back at the Mansion…
Ness and Young Link were slowly crawling out of bed, knowing that soon Zelda would come in and chain them to some hideous device. And then Mewtwo would come in and-they shuddered just thinking about it.
They slowly walked down to the dining room and were sure that they would soon be dragged off.
Their fears were soon realized, but not in the way they would have thought.
"Alright, you two. Sense neither Mewtwo nor Zelda are here," Game and Watch said as they walked into the kitchen. "I'll be in charge of your punishment. You will be forced to watch Star Wars, Episode One, over, and over and over and over and over and-"
"But I like-" Young Link was about to say, when Ness clamped a hand on his mouth.
"Oh, no! Please have mercy on us, oh merciful one!" Ness "begged" Game and Watch.
"Oh no. You aren't getting out of this one. D.K., strap them to the couch."
"So how many times do we have to watch this?" Young Link asked, trying to fake tears.
"Six times." Game and Watch said, grinning evilly.
"You know what would be worse? If he made us watch all six of the Star Wars'."
"Yeah, and made us eat popcorn and drink coke."
"Oh, no that would be awful!"
Five Minutes Later…
Game and Watch shut the door and locked it. The delinquents were secure, being rightly punished.
As the two heard the key turn, they burst out laughing.
"WHAT A MORON! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"THIS IS GREAT! In a sound proof wall, with all the coke and popcorn one could ever want, and we get to watch Star Wars and Lord of the Rings!"
"That was a great move, by the way!"
They burst out laughing again.
On Top Of St. Peter's Basilica
Mewtwo had spotted his prey, being ushered out through an underground passage way. He quickly fired a psychic bolt at the area, in order to uncover the Pope.
There was quite the explosion, and the Pope and several Swiss guards came running out of the hole Mewtwo had made in the ground.
"Your holiness, we can not protect you for much longer! We must hurr-" Mewtwo blasted the poor Swiss Guard, and quickly took out the rest.
"NOOOOO! I WILL AVENGE YOU!" The Pope shouted, and quickly grabbed two Uzis out of his robes and did a slow motion dive, shooting up at Mewtwo.
"Jesus Christ!" Mewtwo shouted, ducking behind the dome.
The Pope quickly hid behind the Obelisk, and continued shooting from there.
Mewtwo poked his head up and fired another bolt, making the Pope duck again.
The obelisk suddenly cracked, and began to topple over, leaving the Pope horribly exposed. Mewtwo took a second look over the dome and almost got an ear taken off.
"Damn-it, who knew the Pope was such a good shot?" Mewtwo said.
In St. Peters…
"HOW THE HELL DID WE GET HERE!" Link shouted. Several Priests looked as though they were about to faint.
"I don't know, I was just running!" Zelda shouted back.
"Well keep running, you morons, they're right over there!"
"GET BACK HERE!" One of the Swiss Guards shouted.
"WHY ON EARTH SHOULD WE?" Roy shouted back.
"Um…" The Swiss Guards stopped for a second to try and figure this one out.
The five were running down the steps at top speed, not taking time to notice that no one was in the square and the obelisk had fallen down.
"Let's… get… to the… hotel… FAST!" Marth shouted.
"That's… stating… the… obvious…" Link shouted back.
"Hey… that… guy… sort of… looks… like… the Pope!" Master Hand said, pointing to the Pope.
"You… moron… that… is… the Pope!" Link said.
Master Hand quickly stopped. "Let's take a small stop to snap a photo!"
"Are you insane?" Zelda said, having regained her breath.
"No, no! We must get a picture! I insist!" He grabbed the camera from Roy and was about to take a picture when Mewtwo chose to peak his head over the dome and fire another bolt, accidentally hitting Master Hand. The Pope hadn't realized that they were there and just noticed that Master Hand had blocked the shot.
"God has saved me! It is divine will for me to live!" The Pope skipped off, and tripped on a stone and fell into the fountain.
Link quickly grappled Mewtwo down. He didn't have time to do anything, for the Swiss Guards had finally figured out that they would stop if they caught them. Marth and Roy quickly grabbed Master Hand's unconscious form and quickly ran.
Some Where in Rome…
"Hi, has a giant hand checked in here?" Fox asked a hotel person for the three-hundredth and seventy-eighth time.
"Ah, yes. About twelve hours late, you know."
"YES! Ha-ha! Samus," He called on his radio. "I've found them!" He turned to the guy at the counter. "Alright, what room number are they in?"
"You know, punctuality is very important. It gets you places, finds people-"
"Give me there room number or I'll blast your head off." Fox pointed his blaster at the desk receptionist.
"Uh, uh…"
"I don't like the sound of that."
"Got late. Gave away room. Don't hurt me!"
"Damn." Fox pulled out his radio. "Samus, negative on that. Got there late. Lost reservations. How's the 'tourist spot check' coming?"
"Not so good. I've checked several places. No sign of them. Try a nearby hotel. They probably didn't go very far."
"Good idea." He turned back to the desk. "Alright. Exactly what is the nearest hotel?"
"This one."
"Besides this one."
"I'm afraid I'm not allowed to give that information."
"I'm not aloud to shoot you, but just watch me."
"The Other-Conveniently-Placed-Right-Next-To-The-Vatican Hotel. That way." He said, pointing the opposite direction of the Vatican.
"Thanks."
The Really Long Named Hotel…
"All right. We lie low for some time, and then get on a plane and go some where else. How's that for a plan?" Zelda was outlining a plan as everyone else either poured ice on Master Hand or tried to figure out how to tie down Mewtwo.
"That's a wonderfully good, but we need tickets." Master Hand pointed out from under the ice.
"I can get tickets!" Mewtwo shouted, from under several cords of rope.
"Fine, but it twill be me who chooses where we go." Master Hand said.
"… Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Where are we going?"
Master Hand thought about it. "Sandusky. Ohio."
"Huh? What have they got there?" Link asked.
"If you don't know, then you shouldn't be going. Quite a dangerous place, Sandusky."
"Huh?" Everyone asked.
"… Are you trying to tell me, that none of you have been to the wonders of Sandusky?" Everyone slowly shook there heads. "Wow. Might shame, but now we can complete your education. Dangerous place, Sandusky."
Darkwarrior17: Man, I would have had this chapter done yesterday, but I came down with a cold and could barely comprehend what I was writing. By the way, the date's November 8, 2005.