A Helping Hand Chapter 4: Her Song, an er fanfic

Rating: M

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

I made a video for the song used further down and heres the address:

http://ie. watch it and tell me what you think!

Chapter Four: Her Song

Ray was lying in the bed, listening to the sounds of all of the machines which where surrounding him, the machines which he was hooked up to. He still couldn't remember what had happened and that scared him. His mother had obviously noticed the look of apprehension that had crossed his face and shone clearly through his eyes because she took his hand in her own and whispered to him,

'I know that I haven't been there for you a lot of the times that I should have. But I promise you that I'm going to help you through this, no matter what it takes'

Not being able to actually speak as he still had the ET tube in his mouth, Ray simply turned the hand which his mother was holding over and lightly wrapped his fingers around hers and gave it a slight squeeze.

Ray heard the sound of footsteps and suddenly the face of his mother was replaced by the face of none other than Lucien Dubenko.

'Welcome back Dr. Barnett, I'm just going to check you over and then we'll see about taking that tube out, O.K'

Ray lay there as Dubenko did the standard check, listening to his chest and checking his pulse, finding it all rather boring and just wanting to get the tube out. But his thoughts where interrupted when he felt a pain like nothing he had ever felt before in his legs as Dubenko touched it, and he couldn't stop himself from squeezing his eyes shut in pain and sticking his nails into his hands, certain that he was going to draw blood.

'Sorry Ray, I just have to check the wounds.' Said Dubenko in an apologetic voice as he looked at Ray, his face a picture of agony.

After looking at the other leg, Dubenko returned to the top of the bed.

'O.K, everything seems to be fine, so we can take the tube out. You know the drill, big breath in and blow out on three. One…two…three!' And with that Dubenko swiftly removed the tube and placed an oxygen mask over a now coughing Ray's mouth, and telling him to take slow, deep breaths.

As soon as Ray's breathing had returned to normal Dubenko lifted the head of the bed up and fraction, knowing that Ray wouldn't want to have everyone hovering over him.

Dubenko turned to Ray, immediately noticing the confusion on his face, and he knew what Ray was certain to ask. He was also sure that Neela would want to tell him, and break it to him gently so he excused himself from the room, wanting to give the three some privacy.

'I'll be by to check on you later Ray. Just try and get some rest' and Dubenko left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

Ray turned his face to Neela and his mother, both who where standing right beside his bed, and said to them in a horse voice,

'What happened?' Ray didn't miss the look that passed over both the women's faces, it was a look of worry, but why would they be worried?

Neela looked to Jacy, and then to Ray as she said,

'You where in a car accident Ray. The truck that hit you' Neela paused and took a breath as she tried to think of the best way to tell Ray about his injuries and the fact that he would have to get learn to walk again. She knew that it was probably just telling him straight; knowing that skirting around the question would just make him more anxious. 'It crushed your legs, and there was a lot of bleeding. You were brought here and they had you in surgery for over seven hours…they fixed your legs really well.'

Ray sat and tried to digest what Neela had just said. My legs where crushed! That means that I won't be able to walk. Ray lifted his eyes and looked to Neela, feeling tears welling in them once again but threatening to let them fall as he said,

'Does that mean that I won't' Ray paused as he felt a lump form in his throat. Pushing it down Ray continued, 'that I won't be able to walk again?'

But before Neela even had a chance to answer, Jacy had bent down and wrapped her arms around her son and she said,

'No baby, your strong and you can get through this'

Neela noted that Jacy was probably saying this to herself as well, not wanting to think the worst case scenario, and just wanting her son to be back to the way that he was before.

'No Ray, you'll get physiotherapy and you'll walk again' Neela said as she picked his hand up in her own, and gave it a reassuring squeeze as she looked at him through tears in her own eyes now, still not believing what had happened. The reality of the situation only hitting her when Ray had asked the question whether or not he would walk again.

It had been several hours since Ray had woken up and the nurse had just been in and given Ray another dose of morphine to help with the pain. Neela couldn't help but feel guilty every time that she saw Ray wince of squeeze his eyes shut against the pain as he shifted slightly on the bed to try and get more comfortable, but only causing his legs to shot with a pain like hot pokers where being pressed against the skin of them.

Neela watched as Rays eyes slowly drifted shut, and she felt relieved that he could get a reprieve from the pain. She knew that he wouldn't be feeling better for at least another few days when some of the others injuries had healed and she just couldn't pray that those days would pass quickly.

The first thing that Neela had done the first time that Ray had fallen asleep was phone down to the E.R and tell them that Ray was awake. She had also said that he didn't need any visitors at the moment as he was still exhausted and in a lot of pain so she had received a lot of best wishes and 'get well soon's from people who were hoping to make it up over the next few days.

Neela was interrupted from her musings as she felt Jacys hand on her arm as she quietly said,

'Why don't you go home and get some rest honey, he'll be asleep for most of the night'

Neela was going to protest, but when she seen the look on Jacy's face and knew that her reasons where true she agreed. Before she went to the door Neela walked over to Rays bed, and taking his hand in her own she leaned down and placed a soft kiss, careful not to wake him, on his neck, before turning and giving Jacy a hug and telling her that she could come and stay with her and Ray while she was in Chicago.

Neela stepped off the elevator as it reached the E.R and the first person whom she saw was Pratt and Morris, who came walking over to her quickly, Morris saying,

'So how is he?' And Neela heard the emotion and concern in Archie's voice,

'Well, he's asleep now after another dose of morphine. Still in a lot of pain though'

After a small discussion about going to visit Ray later in the week Pratt turned to Neela and said,

'He's really lucky to have you Neela and you him' and Neela felt her heart swell at the sound of those words. She had always thought that Pratt would hate the idea of her getting into a relationship with Ray, but now he was telling her that they were lucky to have each other, and she could only nod with a smile on her face before she said goodbye and went outside to get a cab and go home to get some much needed rest.

Stepping into her apartment Neela walked over and flopped down on the couch, kicking her shoes off and pulling the blanket on the back over herself, too exhausted to walk any further to her room.

Neela had only been asleep for a few hours when she woke again, her mind too full to allow her to sleep. Pushing the blanket off her Neela walked to the kitchen and turned on the tap and got herself a drink of water.

Walking back to the couch Neela noticed the small black bag that she had brought to the wedding and remembered the C.D that Ray had given her on the roof. Reaching into the bag Neela pulled it out and walked over to the C.D player, and placed the disc inside.

Sitting on the couch Neela listened to the songs on the C.D, and just like Ray had said some of them where ones they had listened to when they had been roommates, times when there was nothing to watch on T.V so they would just lie on the couch and listening to the words of the songs. Neela smiled as the C.D played one of Ray's songs that was Neela's favorite. She loved the way his voice sounded in it and as she listened she closed her eyes and imagined him singing it, just like the night when he had invited her to one of his gigs after work. It had been one of the best nights that she could remember and she loved that it had been with Ray.

Neela opened her eyes as she heard the beginning of a song which she had never heard before, and her mind drifted back to what Ray had told her, 'one of them's about you'

It was a lot softer than all of the other songs of Rays that she had heard, most of them about heartbreak, as one time Ray had told her it's the easiest to write about, love and heartbreak, and as she listened to the words she tried to see if this was in fact, her song,

She said "I've gotta be honest,
You're wasting your time if you're fishing round here."
And I said "you must be mistaken,
I'm not fooling... this feeling is real"
She said "you gotta be crazy,
What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?
"You've got wits, you've got looks,
You've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong

All wrong.
All wrong.
But you got me...

As Neela listened, she thought how she wished that she did have Ray, to be hers and hers only.

Why did I wait? Why didn't I just tell him how I felt, then maybe all of this wouldn't have happened and he could have been mine, and I just hope that maybe he'll still let me make him mine.

Neela remembered back to the night in the car when they had shared their very first kiss. It had been the best kiss that she had ever had, so gentle and caring and full of love. She had had him that night, and him her, but she now wished that she had gotten the courage to take it further than just one kiss, and not have made him wait.

I'll be true, I'll be useful...
I'll be cavalier...i'll be yours my dear.
And I'll belong to you...
If you'll just let me through.
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?
This is easy as lovers go,
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
And this is wonderful as loving goes,
This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting?

Hearing his voice as it ask, why not now, she wished that she had have done something sooner. But as she had sat there listening to his song for her, her song, she decided that she was going to tell him how she felt, and she was going to help him get better, no matter what it took.

Well I hope that you liked this chapter…and please tell me what you think, good or bad!