"'I'm here for you,' she said/And we can stay for a while/My boyfriend's gone/We can just pretend"

Chapter 4: The Feel Good Drag

…10:30 a.m.…

Slowly I opened my eyes to the smallest bit of sunlight peeking through the blinds over the window in me and Eric's bedroom and groaned. Granted, I was glad I managed to sleep through the screeching of Eric's alarm clock at six this morning, but it was almost as unpleasant to be woken up by sunlight in my face.

Speaking of time, I wonder what time it is now…? I rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock that looked like it jumped straight out of the nineties. Ten-thirty. Stan will be here soon.

With a wide smile, I leapt out of bed and went over to the dresser. It's been so long since I've had anything to be excited about during the day. At first, college was exciting: I could get away from Eric while doing something I never had before. But between lack of sleep from studying and the intense pain that made it hard to concentrate, that quickly became less and less exciting. And as much as I love Kenny and Butters, it was hard to get excited about seeing them, especially when they were together. I guess I just hated knowing that they have the kind of relationship I had thought I'd get out of Eric. (This by no means, means that I hate them, just the situation.)

I pulled a black turtleneck and some dark jeans out of the closet and pulled them on - I took a shower last night knowing I'd probably sleep a bit late - trying to ignore the pain of new bruises around my waist as I buttoned the jeans. After nearly making the mistake of hitting me in front of Stan yesterday, Eric was more angry than usual. Instead of slapping me like he was originally going to do, he used a plastic bat on me - he said he didn't use a wooden or metal one so that I wouldn't die - and then raped me. As much as I wanted to though, I didn't cry. It would've just brought either another beating or screaming about how pathetically weak I was, and how I shouldn't cry when I allow it to happen in the first place.

So, no crying, just a shower and sleep.

It was beyond hard to do, but I forced myself to do it just to avoid getting hurt any more than I already was. Oh well, just more "payment" for nearly having the secret revealed.

As I was brushing my teeth, there was a knock at the door. I looked at the clock as I walked for the door. Ten-forty-five. He was early. I answered the door to a smiling Stan in a black leather jacket and tight blue jeans. Damn, it was a nice sight! I stood aside for him to come in and spit on the sidewalk in front of the door as he came in. "You're fifteen minutes early."

Stan shrugged. "I said around eleven, not exactly eleven."

I chuckled and moved for the bathroom again. "I guess you did." In the bathroom, I finished brushing my teeth and grabbed my hairbrush. "So what're we doing today?"

"Well, I was thinking we could grab some lunch and then rent a couple of b-rate movies to watch." A wide grin broke out across his face. "If you wanted to anyway."

I returned the grin. "Sounds like fun. I haven't watched any b-rate movies in a long time." I really haven't. I think the last time I did was, maybe, my bachelor party. Kenny rented one and brought quite a few from him and Butters' place; everyone sat there and got drunk as we watched them, so I don't really remember them all too well.

"Great!" When I put my brush down, Stan asked seriously, "So, did anything happen between you and Cartman after I left?"

I flinched slightly at the too fresh memory. The excruciating pain of having that plastic bat smack into my abdomen, hips, and chest over and over and over again. The unclean and screwed up feeling of having Eric slam into me and then release himself in my ass. The urge to cry rose again at the thought, but I quickly shoved it down. The last thing I needed to do was cry, it would screw up the day before it even began. My eyes looked with Stan's. "No, nothing happened."

Stan sighed, though I couldn't tell if it was a relieved sigh or not. "That's good then." He smiled slightly. "Well, shall we go?"

I smiled too and nodded. "Yeah!" I happily followed him out to his dark blue crotch rocket, pausing only to lock the door. "Dude, this is nice!"

He chuckled and handed me a black helmet that matched his own. "It is, but not nearly as nice as you and Cartman's cars. I don't think I'll ever top refurbished classics."

"Nope," I laughed, "you never will!"

"Hey!"

"You said it, I just agreed." I pulled the helmet on over my head and strapped it in place. When Stan did the same and sat down on the bike, I swung my leg over the small bike and wrapped my arms around him.

"Hang on," he said through the helmet before starting up the engine.

My arms tightened around him. I'd never even ridden on a motorcycle, let alone a crotch rocket, though all it was was a smaller, faster version of a motorcycle. Right? Well, regardless, the rush I felt as he pulled from the driveway and started going seventy down the road was something I'll never forget.

Speeding so fast down the road that the houses I saw through the helmet's visor looked like blurs, feeling the wind whip my shirt all around my torso, being so close to Stan. Oh God, that was the best part! Even through my turtleneck, his leather jacket, and the t-shirt I was sure was underneath, I could feel the same warmth I did yesterday, and it was wonderful. Again, my arms tightened around him a bit and I rested my head against his back. So close to Stan, so close to what felt like real love, to what I had always wanted.

Suddenly, Stan hit the brake and pulled the crotch rocket to the side, skidding to a stop in a parking space near the entrance of Sizzler. My heart was in my throat at the sudden movement and halt. Holy shit! What was he thinking?

Stan pulled off his helmet and laughed. "Hey Kyle, you can let me go now."

Slowly, I removed my arms from around his upper body and pulled the helmet off of my head. He put the kick stand into place as I got off of the crotch rocket and stumbled a bit for balance. "What the hell was that?" I demanded.

"A stop," he said simply. He got off of the bike with a chuckle.

"Are you insane? You could've killed us, you crazy fuck!"

This time he full on laughed. Was it really that funny that he scared the living shit out of me? I turned red as he said, "I know what I'm doing, I've been driving these things for years. Don't worry so much, just have fun."

I sighed. "Yeah, you're right…" I handed him the helmet when he opened up the seat and threw both into the compartment beneath it. I looked up at the Sizzler sign and smiled again. "We haven't been here together in years."

"I know," he smiled too; "it's been way too long. Well," he hooked his arm into mine and pulled me towards the door of the restaurant, "let's go enjoy our bro date!"

"Bro date?" I had to raise an eyebrow at that. I thought it was called a friend date. Where the hell did "bro date" come from?

"Yeah, a 'date' between two really close guy friends, bros." He looked at the hostess at the front of the restaurant. "Two."

I sighed as he released me so we could sit down at our table. When the waitress went to get our drinks, I sighed. "Is that 'bro' thing something you learned in North Park, because I have never heard that before…?"

He laughed again. "It was actually." He waited a moment as we were given our drinks and the waitress left us so we could look at the menu.

While we looked over the menu, I filled him in on everything he'd missed. Kenny and Butters' engagement, Wendy, Bebe, and Clyde becoming a polyamorous love, Token moving away, Craig and Tweek's rocky relationship, Damien returning, and then Damien and Pip getting together. The drugstore closed, replaced by a health store, ("GNC, I think," I said with a shrug). Three years ago, some idiot played a prank on the town, causing everyone to think that the thing from the movie, Trick r' Treat was real, nearly destroying the town once again. Dr. Mafesto died, ending genetic research in the town, ("Everyone was disappointed about that. He always made things interesting around here.").

"So," Stan said with a tone of astonishment when I finished, "a lot really has changed since I left."

"Well, yeah. You've been gone for eight years," I said.

He nodded. "It's to be expected, I guess."

We stopped our conversation long enough to order our food and hand the menus over to the waitress before continuing along. I took a sip of my Coke and asked, "What've you been up to since you left?"

"Not much." He shrugged. "I made a few good friends in North Park, but no one I'm dying to see again. My dad's still as crazy as ever, just last month he tried to go the rock star path again. That's when I decided I needed to get away from him; I was living in my own apartment too, and come back here for a bit. To be honest, I was only planning on being here for six months, but now," he chuckled, "I think I'll stay for a while longer."

He's going to stay longer? Did he decide that after re-meeting me? I hoped so, that would be amazing! I smiled. "That's great Stan!"

"I thought so." He mirrored my smile.

I waited another minute when our food was given to us before I asked, "So, were you still a big time jock there too?"

"You know it! M.V.P. football player all four years of high school!"

"Damn!" That really was impressive. Though I guess it's not that much of a surprise, he always was a great football player. "So, I guess you've had a lot of girlfriends because of that?"

Stan ate a fry and shook his head. "Nope. Not a single one since Wendy."

"Really?"

"Really. At first, it was because not a single girl caught my eye, and then I thought that's what it was in high school too - they lined up for me and were highly disappointed when I didn't pick them."

"So…?"

He gave me a mischievous grin and I blushed again. He looked so damn sexy like that! I could barely stand it! (Godammit, stop having thoughts like this! You're married Kyle, get a hold of yourself!) "Sophomore year was when I realized that I liked the attention I was getting from the guys more than the girls and decided to experiment." I realized it then, what he was trying to say in the KFC. "I'm gay, dude. So, no, no girlfriends."

"I see." I poked at what was left of my burger and asked, "Do you…have a boyfriend?"

"No." He ate another fry. "I dated one guy for nearly a year, but we broke up a few months ago when he fell in love with someone else."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Not too sorry though. I was actually really happy to hear that he was single, it made the thoughts that kept flooding my mind seem less terrible. (And there were a lot of them!)

Stan shrugged. "It wasn't that big of a deal. I don't think I was really in love with him, just infatuated."

"Oh."

Infatuation. I wondered if that was what I felt for Eric all that time leading up to the wedding. Probably not seeing how heartbroken I was when the abuse started. Then again, anybody would feel heartbroken and betrayed when something like that would start up. So, maybe it was, but then again maybe I really was in love. Ugh… I don't know…!

We continued chatting for a while longer as we finished our meals and paid the bill. Outside, we pulled the helmets back on and rode off towards the video store for a couple of movies. Once we got those, which Stan stashed in the crotch rocket's compartment while we rode, we went back to his apartment.

I grabbed the videos from the compartment and dropped my helmet in to replace them. "Stan," I sighed, "you really need to stop doing the skid stop. It scares the hell outta me."

He laughed again and laced his fingers behind his head. (Damn him.) "How can I when you look so damn cute scolding me about it?"

I turned bright red. Cute? Me? Did he really just say that? "What was that?" I squeaked out.

He chuckled and turned for the apartment door he parked the crotch rocket in front of. "Oh, nothing."

I sighed deeply. Nothing my pale white ass. I had a feeling he enjoyed seeing me blush and nearly turn to goop when he said things like I'm cute, or how I almost melt when he holds me or when we're riding on his crotch rocket. Yeah, he probably somehow gets off knowing that. Damn him.

"Dude," Stan was halfway in the door, "you gonna come inside, or are you gonna stand there all day staring off into space?"

I turned red again. Dammit, I hate that he can make blood rush to my face so easily. I'm like a fucking love-struck schoolgirl, and this is the first time in eight years that I've seen him! "Yeah, I'm coming." I walked up to the door and inside of the apartment.

Stan grabbed the DVDs from my hand and walked over to the TV as I sat down on the couch with my legs folded underneath me. There were boxes still thrown around the living room, making it more than obvious that he was still getting situated from the move. Knowing him, it would probably take a few more days for him to clear out the empty boxes and a bit longer than that to unload and dispose of the other boxes. Maybe I should help him. I'm sure he'd be grateful for the help, plus it would give me another excuse not to be at home with Eric.

He plopped down on the couch next to me and placed one arm around my shoulders as the main menu for The Rocky Horror Picture Show appeared on the screen. The room was dark as he clicked the play button on the DVD remote, but I was sure he knew my face was burning red again. I moved so that I was leaning against him, almost cuddling into his side underneath his arm. I loved sitting like this against him, it was so relaxing and wonderful. Once again, the warm feeling I got when we had our arms around each other filled me up. Simply amazing.

I started laughing loudly as Stan sang along with one of the first songs, "Dammit Janet." He was so tone deaf that it made the song absolutely awful, but the fact that he clearly knew it and was using that made it hilarious. Still laughing, I wiped a tear from my eye and glanced up at him. Almost immediately, I stopped laughing.

He looked beautiful. His face was sharply angled, every bit of it signaling the man that he'd become. Even his lips, kind of thin and full - it was hard to tell with only the light of the movie - added to his beauty. I couldn't resist him.

While he was still singing, I reached up and gently grabbed the side of his face to turn him to me. Before he could ask me what I was doing, I connected our lips in a chaste kiss. And then, time stopped.