A/N – strange title, completely sensible, read on to find out. Chapter one has been re-submitted for the reasoning that it was originally a third chapter for 'Beep Beep' but as I put it into a separate story of its own I had to change a few things. I have also found that I cannot submit chapters with their correct names because the names are in fact to long for the box. As such I will be leaving them as chapter 1, 2, 3 ECT.

Thank you once again for betaing my chapter 4gVn SoUl

I have also forgotten to put the disclaimer so here goes. YES I DO OWN ARTEMIS FOWL!!! I am in fact Eoin Colfer wasting away my life writing fanfiction instead of getting more books published and making millions of pounds. Come on… do YOU think I'm Eoin? Seriously?

Down the Tunnel, Down Again.

They all stood at the mouth of the tunnel. A slightly warm breeze blew through the entrance, hinting of another flare off in the distance. They were all putting off the moment of actually going in and facing the troll. It had all sounded so easy when they were planning, but was the pre-opp check had gone on it had sunk in how dangerous it was. Of course they were all going to do it; it would be just like the old times. Maybe too much like the old times.

They had pretty much waltzed with death in the old times.

Crap.

And if I can funding for my project it will hopefully split the water molecules up, create energy from the release, and then create more energy from the water as it rejoins at the other end. This will create simple, clean fuel that can be drunk afterwards. As a demonstration here is the engine… I put the water in… turn it on… the wheel turns… and here is my glass of water again.

'Dig, dig. Must dig. Must get away. Master told me to. Must obey master. That all troll do'

The failure of the water engine has left millions with cancer. The water produced has been funnelled back into mainstream water piping and has devastated millions. Apparently the weakened water bonds interfere with the delicate balance of the body and have given a 96 increase in the likelihood of getting cancer. BBC news, out.

"Let's go, no point in putting this off anymore." Butler rumbled. And they all set off. Down the tunnel.

As the light from the portal faded they all activated infrared beams on their clothing and their helmets folded over their heads giving a clear picture of everything. For once Butler had a helmet that fitted and was marvelling and the technology, picking out detail from forty feet away like it was broad daylight.

As the tunnel twisted and turned Butler was forced to hunch down, these tunnels having only been designed for small cargo ships that would fit through the tunnel like a hand in a glove. This was a problem for the guy who was considered big by human standards.

Reaching the last turn before they would have a perfect shot at their target they all stopped.

"Artemis, maybe I better take the gun? I'm a better shot." Holly pointed out.

"Yes, good point. Here, pull the trigger to fire a tracing beam, when it hits something it will try to shut down its brain so be careful what your aiming at." Artemis explained.

"And your sure it is non lethal?!" Holly asked for the fifth time.

"Yes, 99.8 sure." Artemis answered.

"let's do this then, Butler, don't shoot unless it is absolutely necessary okay? Put your rifle on highest charge though. Be careful it recoils slightly." Holly told the bodyguard before holding up three fingers.

'gods, what if this doesn't work? It could either kill the troll or it could just get it angry enough to come and get us.'

One finger went down.

'this could be a suicide mission if I didn't make that well enough. I went over the calculations five times but what if I missed something?'

a second finger joined the first.

'oh well, Butler should be able to stop it again. I hope. Please work please work please work…'

the last finger went down and Holly rounded the corned, instantly covering all angles. Butler came round seconds after her raising his gun to his shoulder. Then Artemis and Mulch stepped round pointing their neutrino's at the tunnel that completely failed to become a troll.

After some searching they found the tunnel to be completely empty. Artemis sat on the floor and though.

"where could it have gone? Both ends are being watched. Is there something we missed?" Artemis said to him.

"look mud boy, don't take it personally but you aren't as in touch with the earth as we are. Watch this." And with that Mulch slapped a patch of wall that looked like any other and it swung open, revealing a tunnel that twisted and turned worse that the one they were in. one thing that was clear. It was defiantly heading downwards.

"down the tunnel, down again." Artemis said.

"what was that? Philosophy?" Holly asked.

"no, I just thought it was appropriate to explain for anyone wondering about the title." Artemis pointed out.

"…What are you on about? There is no title…" Holly started but Artemis interrupted her.

"never mind." And so they set off into the bowls of bowl of the earth.