Chapter 3

It was a stand-off. Tony wanted to reach into the fruit bowl artfully sitting in the centre of the table and call 'Bananas at fifty paces!' – only he didn't really feel funny at the moment and certainly didn't want to joke with the man sitting across the table from him. He didn't want to forget the anger, pain and betrayal he felt towards him, not even for a moment. It was helping him focus, keeping him from panicking about what was actually happening.

Obadiah Stane was glowering at him from across the table, and for the first time, Tony wondered if splitting away from Stark Industries hadn't actually been in his plan. Tony really hoped it hadn't and that he'd managed to put a wrench into whatever plan Stane had spent years cooking up behind everyone's back. Or maybe Stane still thought Tony found his glower intimidating. To be fair, Obie had, once upon a time, been the wonderful uncle, the one who'd encouraged a teen-aged Tony, laughed at his jokes, and always had a smile for him and time for a few words no matter how busy he was. Back then, when the man was more like a father to him than the alcohol-saturated wreck that was his real father, Tony had cared about his opinion.

Funny how not caring about someone made their displeasure seem less important.

The heavenly aroma of coffee broke the staring match and Tony looked away to smile gratefully to Pepper for the mug she placed in front of him. She smiled back, her eyes silently supportive. Tony took a drink and let the soothing warmth relax him further, the bitterness a welcome balm on his tongue, drowning out the bitterness that formed in his mouth whenever he thought of the man sitting across from him.

And then the head of Stane's legal team cleared his throat. Stane looked away from Tony.

"Sir, we believe the changes are acceptable," the legal head said. Stane immediately turned on the privacy field that muffled all sound from their side of the table as he apparently questioned his lawyer further.

Tony felt a hand gentle envelop his and squeeze gently. Without looking away from the conversation between Stane and his lawyer, he turned his hand and squeezed back.

"Don't worry, Mister Stark," his own lawyer told him quietly from his other side. "The terms are incredibly generous. They'd be crazy to say 'no' to them. Especially since the only alternative would be going through the legal system, where they stand to lose everything."

Tony nodded. He could by rights take Stane to court for illegally appropriating SI property and copyrights. Proving Howard was drunk when he'd signed the papers would be easy: Howard was always drunk. But it was a hassle Tony would rather skip if he could. Even if it meant letting Stane take away part of his company. Going to court would mean publicity and that could hurt both of them, but especially Stane, since there was no way to paint him as anything but the villain of this story.

The privacy field came down and Stane turned back to Tony.

"You're sure about this, Tony?" Stane asked, his tone smooth and placating. God, how he hated that tone. "Once this is signed, there's no turning back."

"Just sign it, Mister Stane," said Tony. He would never be so sure of anything else again.

Stane's mouth seemed to tighten for a moment before picking up the slim, gold-detailed stylus sitting next to him and signing the back of his copy of the contract. Tony meanwhile slid the slim frame containing his copy towards him – he'd signed it as soon as he'd sat down earlier. Stane finished signing and then took Tony's copy and turned it over, letting his lawyer be the one to hand Tony his copy.

Tony's lawyer took the contract and turned it over, placing it in front of Tony. Tony picked up his own, fancy red stylus engraved with the SI logo in gold and didn't hesitate as he signed the appropriate box on the solid back of the frame. The box lit up as the program verified his signature and then scanned his DNA identifier chip. Thirty seconds later, the light faded and his signature deepened as the box engraved it into the frame of the contract.

He turned it over and slid it back to Obadiah.

"And so ends an era," Stane mumbled under his breath, shaking his head in what was probably supposed to look like disappointment.

Tony gritted his teeth as his lawyer took back his copy of the contract, verified the presence of Stane's signature, and then turned off the screen.

Tony stood, straightening his suit blazer as he did so. "Well Stane, I'd say it's been a pleasure, except that you're a rat-bastard and were stealing from me and my company the whole time, so that would be a lie." He pushed his chair away and made as if to leave, pausing with a hand on the back of his chair mid-turn and then turning back to face the other man. "Oh, and don't bother sending Ty to do your dirty work anymore. I don't know what your agreement is and frankly, I don't give a fuck, but I'm aware there is one, so tell him to just stay out of my way."

Stane frowned, but didn't refute the accusation.

Tony felt the anger boil up inside him. It was one thing to guess, but another to have it confirmed that every single important person in his life had been double-crossing him. He wanted to yell at Stane, to punch his smug face for daring to ever look disappointed in Tony when he was the one betraying him at every turn. He wanted to shove him right through the wall of glass windows behind him, listen to them shatter and watch as he tumbled to the ground.

He didn't do any of that. Instead, Tony clenched his jaw and turned to stiffly walk out of the conference room. He stopped outside the door and looked to his head of security. "Maria, make sure Mister Stane and his party make it out of the building alright," he said.

Maria Hill nodded. "Yes, sir."

Pepper was a silent presence next to him until they stepped into the elevator.

"What are you going to do now?" she asked him quietly.

"Go get a drink," was his automatic response.

He could practically feel her pursing her lips. "Tony it's two-thirty in the afternoon."

"I'm sure there'll be a few bars open already. This is New York, after all. It's the city that never sleeps." He looked over and caught a glimpse of her sad, disapproving expression. "C'mon, Pep, if I ever needed a drink in the middle of the day, I think today would be it."

Pepper sighed, clearly knowing she wasn't going to win this one. "Fine, but take Happy with you."

"Of course."

Tony stumbled in through the front door, a wide grin on his face and his mind buzzing blankly with alcohol. The world was great, Happy was great – in fact Happy was probably very happy beneath that dour, blank face, because Happy was always Happy and happy was a great way to be... He'd had a point somewhere. But he couldn't remember where.

He looked up at the brightly-lit chandelier. It was very bright... so many lights.

"Ya know, tha' ugly chanda, cander, chandalala... light thingy is kinda pretty with the lights on," he slurred. "Sooo many lights, sooo pretty. Hey, they're moving!"

He heard giggling and two sets of arms wrapped around him. He turned away from the light and looked to the two lovely ladies on either side of him. They were great. One was blonde with purple tips and the other was a redhead with silky long hair, and they were wearing just the right amount of clothes to show off their equally lovely attributes. Those were great too. He could write an algorithm to prove it.

And then a hand squeezed one of his ass cheeks. Tony moaned, reaching up to mash his lips to the redhead's. The algorithm could wait.

"Upstairs," he gasped, just sober enough to realize he didn't want Vision walking in on them having sex in the hallway. Machine or not, he still walked and talked and had eyes.

They stumbled up the stairs, laughing as the stairs seemed not quite as solid and steady as usual. None of them fell, but it was close. When they finally made it to the bedroom floor (as opposed to the guestroom floor), the blonde pushed Tony into the wall and assaulted him with her tongue. Tony grinned and opened up for her, pulling her tongue into his mouth and dancing with it. His hands reached out to grab her waist, sliding up and under her shirt, pushing it up frantically upwards. There were some things he could do no matter how drunk he got. He felt her moan as her bra came undone.

And then it was his turn to moan as he felt hands undoing his pants, nimble fingers just barely brushing his straining erection with each movement. The blonde grabbed at his shirt and started pushing it up. He pulled one hand out from under her shirt and buried into her hair, running his fingers through it roughly. She moaned and leaned forward, rubbing her breasts against his chest as she deepened the kiss. And then finally, finally the cloth was pulled away from his erection and cool air hit the heated flesh. Tony gasped around the blonde's lips.

Wet warmth engulfed his cock and Tony cried out, his head hitting the wall behind him as he ripped it away from the blonde's mouth. He looked down and the breath caught in his throat at the sight of the redhead greedily swallowing down his cock as if it were the most delicious treat she'd ever tasted.

"Oh god," he gasped. An electrical pulse sparked in his chest as his nipple was pinched and twisted. He looked back to the blonde, whose eyes were wicked and lips were smirking.

"How about we take this to a bed?" she said in a low, sultry tone.

Tony blinked, mind hazy with lust, as his mind tried oh so very hard to concentrate on something other than the steady, relentless suction on his cock.

"Yeah, sure, beds are good," he finally managed to find the words.

She hummed, clearly amused, before moving away and lowering herself behind the redhead – he couldn't remember how he'd met them now... were they friends or strangers? The blonde carded her left hand gently through the redheads long, shiny locks and then used them as a grip to gently pull her lips off of Tony's cock. Tony groaned at the loss, but he couldn't look away from the two women. The blonde whispered something into the redhead's ear while her right hand slid up her thigh and disappeared beneath her short green skirt. Whatever the blonde did then made the red head's eyes fly open and her hips pump forward as she moaned and – oh.

Tony blinked.

The front of the redhead's skirt was tented, the obvious erection pumping into the air as the blonde continued her ministrations. How had he missed that? He began to salivate. Bed, he suddenly remembered. They needed a bed.

Tony surged forward and pulled the redhead to her feet, not bothering to resist the urge to kiss her, moaning as he tasted himself on her tongue. Or was it his tongue? The redhead rubbed against him and Tony decided it didn't matter – the lovely lady was wearing a skirt, heels and long dangly earrings, so she was a lady. He pulled away and let go with one hand in order to feel his way along the wall to find a pad.

"Ow," he hissed as his hand banged against something metal sticking out of the wall. Oh, right, old house, therefore doorknobs. He'd forgotten there were doorknobs instead of doorpads. He was going to have to do something about that.

But later. Right now he twisted the doorknob. It opened into a large room with a puffy purple couch and a sturdy table and through the open door into the bedroom... yup, a bed. He pulled the redhead behind him, glancing once over his shoulder to check that she was being followed by the blonde.

They fell into the bed in a giggling tangle of limbs. The two women settled on either side of his body and pulled his shirt up together. Tony grinned and raised his hands to make it easier. His shirt off, he reached out and pulled the redhead's shirt off her, leaving her in a bright green lacy bra that matched her skirt. She smiled down at him and slipped a matching green thong down her legs, tossing it somewhere to the floor. Meanwhile movement beside him had him looking to the blonde as she snaked her own top off along with her already undone bra, tossing both items to the foot of the bed.

Tony was mesmerized, not bothering in the slightest to resist the urge to sit up and lean over to cup the round, jiggling globes in his hands. He swiped the pads of his thumb over the nipples and was rewarded with a low groan. Humming, he bent over and swirled his tongue first over the left nipple and then over the right, pausing to suck at it gently before worrying the nub with his teeth. He could feel the blonde's chest heaving as her breath quickened.

A slick, warm hand closed around his cock and Tony moaned, switching to the other nipple and laving it with attention as the redhead leisurely stroked his cock. He pulled away after a while and turned to the redhead, reaching out to bring her forward, stroking the back of her neck with his thumb as he kissed her. She returned the kiss with enthusiasm and swung a leg over his torso to straddle him. Tony reached around with his other hand and undid her bra. It slid away to reveal a lovely flat chest, both nipples pierced with golden rings.

She pushed him away and he fell back into the nest of pillows behind him. He grinned up at her as she shuffled backwards on her knees to get into position.

A panel in the ceiling fell open just above the bed and Tony's eyes widened. Reflexes born from lab disasters kicked in, and he surged forward to grab the red head and pull her away from the falling debris. She shrieked at the unexpected movement, not protesting in her surprise. Beside them, the blonde screamed.

Adrenalin pumping through him for an entirely different reason now, Tony's heart beat loudly in his chest, his breaths coming as desperate pants. There was a pile of metal objects – nope, there was no question: there was a handgun, four arrows and a knife – laying on the bed.

There was also a goddamned machete sticking out of the bed, its blade embedded deep into the mattress.

"What the fuck?!" Tony exclaimed.

"Happy, just take them... take them wherever they'd like to go," he told his chauffeur/bodyguard.

The large man just nodded solemnly. "Yes, Boss," he said and hesitated. "You gonna be okay 'till I get back?"

Tony sighed, the alcohol in his system suddenly making him feel tired instead of elated. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Vision and Jarvis are scanning the house for intruders. And at this point I think I'm probably just going to go to bed."

Happy nodded before leaving. Tony went over to the window to watch him lead the two ladies to the waiting wheel-less. The redhead looked back uncertainly before she and the blonde got into the car. Tony groaned and let his forehead bump against the cool glass. That had been amazing, absolutely amazing... but nothing killed the mood like having half an armoury fall into your bed. Well, almost nothing.

He wondered what the rumours flying about the Network were going to be like in the morning.

The car was long out of sight when he finally decided to push away from the window. He swayed slightly on his feet. The adrenaline had faded enough for his body to remember its state of inebriation. Still, after that monumental fuck-up of an evening, Tony needed a drink. On his way back to his room, he stopped by what Pepper romantically called the 'drawing room' (because it wasn't quite an office and wasn't quite a sitting room and she liked the name). It sounded distinguished, apparently.

All Tony cared about was that it held his liquor cabinet. There was also a billiards table that looked like it would fall apart as soon as anyone brushed up against it. He walked around it carefully – or as carefully as he was currently capable of – and poured himself a full glass from the crystal decanter sitting on a side-table next to the window. Like just about everything in this house, it was an antique.

The glass was half-empty by the time he'd made his way to his room. This time he made sure to go all the way to his own bedroom. He'd gone over that room with a fine tooth comb and several scanners and he was certain there were no hidden weapons caches inside. He'd go over it again tomorrow just in case.

This house was insane. Officially.

He downed the last of his scotch and then stripped down to his boxers. Or rather, stumbled around inelegantly as he clumsily yanked off pieces of clothing that had been haphazardly pulled on after his own house had tried to kill him.

Finally he managed to collapse into the inviting, pillowy softness of his bed. But right away, he knew it was no use. Alcohol hummed pleasantly in his veins, but his body still buzzed with left-over, unfulfilled arousal, keeping him on edge. It wasn't a difficult decision to make, pulling his boxers off and then letting them drop to the ground beside the bed and then pulling the lube out from the nightstand.

His body responded eagerly the moment his slicked-up hand wrapped around his cock. He groaned, closing his eyes to savour the sensation. He remembered the redhead, down on her knees and eagerly swallowing his cock down, her own erection tenting her skirt obscenely. Then he remembered the blonde, settling in behind the redhead, fingering her no doubt already slicked-up hole, getting it ready for Tony's cock. Both of them so beautiful, eyes intense and dark with lust.

He twisted his hand on the upstroke, circling the head with his thumb and gasped. He tried to slow down, tried to make it last. But he thought back to the blonde, her blue eyes so intense, pupils dilated and lust-filled, her chest heaving as she panted while he played with her breasts.

Except suddenly she was a man, blond hair falling into his face as electric blue eyes stared at him, held him in place, drank him in as though he were starving for him. As though the image Tony was presenting was too magnetic to turn away from. The golden, muscled chest heaved silently, perfectly-shaped biceps containing so much strength, so much power, all perfectly contained and controlled.

Tony's hand sped up, the sensation suddenly almost too much, yet not enough... not quite there. The blue eyes never left his. Heat pooled lower and lower, his body buzzing with energy as it built up. The blond's Adam's apple moved as he swallowed and Tony imagined running his tongue down that lovely, powerful throat, imagined biting down and making the amazing blond sex god cry out and lose control.

The electricity sparked behind his eyes and exploded. Tony cried out as he came. Finally sated, he relaxed back into his bed and panted through the aftershocks as he closed his eyes.

Suddenly, his eyes flew open and he sat up, looking around wildly. The room was empty, the door closed, the windows partially open, but the grates behind them still intact. He even looked to the ceiling, but there were no loose tiles to be seen.

Tony ran a shaking hand through his hair.

"Okay, so that was vivid," he told the completely empty room. "Never had hallucinations from alcohol before."

Maybe they spiked the drinks at the club? He wished he could remember if he'd drank any of the pixie drinks, which were usually spiked with mild drugs. He yawned, suddenly feeling the alcohol pulling him towards unconsciousness now that orgasm had taken care of the last of his lingering tension.

Tony flopped back into the bed and fell asleep.

Pepper strode into the manor, her heels clicking loudly against the polished wood floor. It was nearly noon and her straight back, tightly pulled-back hair and primly done-up blazer announced she was taking no prisoners. Of course, she'd purposefully not shown up earlier knowing that Tony would've had a late night after everything with Obadiah. She'd decided last night already to cut him some slack this morning and allow him to sleep in.

Not that she would tell him that.

She strode purposefully up to the stairs to wake him. And then noticed the dining room door was open. She frowned and walked over to see what was going on...

"Tony?!" she said incredulously when she noticed that her boss was not only awake, but hovering half-way to the ceiling in a pair of bright pink and green rocket-boots (they also had silver streaks – shiny silver streaks... god, those things were hideous). He had a holoscreen open out of one bracelet and held a tablet in his hand as he hovered just next to the vent by the ceiling, which was open. "What are you doing?"

He looked up and grinned. "Oh, hey Pep, I'm checking out these ceiling vents. Did you know the ventilation shafts cover the entire length of the house? Vision and I are mapping them out with drones and checking their structural integrity. Turns out the ventilation system is entirely interconnected; you could literally travel around the entire house using the shafts without anyone seeing you."

Pepper had raised her eyebrow at the insane engineer when he started, but her unimpressed look had quickly given way to a worried frown.

"That sounds like a rather significant security risk," she said slowly. "Did something happen to bring your attention to this?"

"My house tried to kill me."

She blinked. "What."

"Well, see I brought these two girls home from the club – well, one of them was a girl, the other was trans although I didn't realize that until we'd gotten here not that that mattered 'cause holy shit she was hot and her mouth–"

"Tony!"

"Er, right. Anyway, things were getting sort of heated, so instead of going all the way down the hall to my room I just picked a room with a bed and we were just getting to the good part – and by that I mean the even better part, 'cause all of it was really, really good, amazing even and, er, right I can see by that glare on your face that you really don't care about that part." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, like I said, we were in the middle of things, when suddenly the ceiling vent above the bed opened and this giant machete fell out and skewered the bed."

Pepper froze, her eyes widening. That wasn't where she'd expected that story to go. "I'm sorry, did you just say you nearly got knifed by a machete that fell from the ceiling?"

"Well, to be fair, there was also a handgun and a bunch of arrows – freaking arrows, seriously who uses arrows? The house isn't that old. And before you ask, yes, Vision and Jarvis both checked for intruders and found no one. So I'm going over the house and checking all the vents and then sealing them shut."

Pepper rubbed her temples. "Good, you do that. The last thing we need is for the Gala to be disrupted by random falling weapons." She paused. "Have you found any exits to the outside from the shafts?"

"Not yet, but the drones are looking for that too." He shrugged. "I haven't entirely discounted the possibility of an intruder. They could've gotten away if they were fast and knew the house really well. Jarvis, it turns out, has no cameras in the ventilation shafts, which, I must say, is a completely stupid oversight. As far as I can figure, there are two explanations for last night: one, there was an intruder and they got away, or two, the ventilation covers have come loose over the years. Sealing them up should fix both problems."

Tony paused, grimaced.

"Okay, technically there's a third option, but I'm a scientist and an engineer therefore I don't believe in ghosts and refuse to even entertain the possibility that the manor is haunted. Besides, it would just be way too cliché."

Pepper rolled her eyes, a fond smile tugging at her lips. "Well, if you can tear yourself away from the exciting world of ventilation shafts and not-haunted houses, then I got a response to our bid for the Bejing project."

"Sir, perhaps you should take this opportunity to have lunch. Vision has just finished preparing it. Would you like him to bring you something as well, Ms Potts?"

Pepper smiled up at the camera Tony had told her was hidden inside the decorative scrolling that ran along the top boarder.

"Thank you, Jarvis, some coffee would be lovely."

"You are most welcome, Ms Potts. I shall inform Vision."

Pulling a chair out, Pepper settled herself at the grand mahogany table and tapped the jewel on her SI bracelet. Tony was muttering something about people ganging up on him as he sat down, but she deftly ignored him as she opened her mailbox to find the appropriate message.