February 13, 2007
He wasn't sure what date it was anymore, but it was night. The last three days had been a series of missed periods of elapsed time for Dave. The only way he distinguished dusk from dawn was from the direction of the sun in the sky but soon he didn't care enough to even pay much attention to that. Everything about the last way he had seen Meryl replayed too much and too harshly. Her eyes, the way she flinched when he touched her. He was sure she wasn't coming back. He didn't blame her. But whenever he did, he drowned it in another drink until it became his fault again.
Ascending the stairs hadn't been a decision he remembered making by the time he started up them. His focus, along with the room, spun and threatened to send him in the opposite direction.
Dave's whole body turned to cement when he laid down on the bed. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the continued spinning of everything.
"Dave?" The footsteps stopped inside the room and the area of bed behind him weighed down. A hand ran over his shoulder and kisses lined the back of his neck
He rolled himself over to face her.
"Meryl...Meryl, I--"
She put her hand over his mouth. It hadn't taken her very long to evaluate what kind of state he was in and what it would take to stop him from talking.
"Just listen to me for a minute. I don't care about marriage nearly as much as I care about you, Dave. If it's something that never happens then, I'll just learn to be okay with that. I want whatever you want. I'd rather lose that than lose you."
She lowered her hand from his mouth and replaced it with a kiss.
"You don't owe me that."
"Yes, I do. I was terrible to you in Arizona. I half expected you to change the locks when you got back."
He smiled, "I kind of thought you were going to give me back my key."
"Well," she said as she let Dave urge her closer with his arm around her waist, "If you promise to never lock me out, then I promise to never stop wanting to come back."
"Deal."