Kensei sipped the vodka in his glass, glancing at his watch: 12:34. He reminded himself she was not a little girl anymore, tamping down the anger and worry that was rising simultaneously. Besides, if she came home at all tonight that would be a victory. He knew he should not worry so much because she was a grown woman after all and was well within her rights to stay out as long as she pleased. However, he had slowly watched her self-destruct over the last few years, and it was wearing on him. Then there was her heart condition. He blamed his wife. It was her fault his daughter seemed hell bent on destroying herself. If she had not abandoned them…

Kensei nearly jumped out of the chair when he heard her car pull into the driveway. He grabbed the book on the table sitting beside him and pretended to read. Although he was, he did not want to appear to be an overprotective, excessively concerned father.

"He's awake," Maeko muttered to herself. She took a deep breath, laying her forehead on the steering wheel of her car. He worried too much. But then a lot of that was her fault.

1:07 read the green numbers on her car's radio. Turning off the vehicle, she got out to slowly tromp up the sidewalk. She hoped he did not lecture her tonight. Yes, she frequented bars too much. Yes, she drank too much. No, she had not gotten into any trouble. Not tonight at least.

"What are you still doing awake? Don't you have to go to work tomorrow?" she asked, closing and locking the door behind her.

"Oh, I was catching up on some reading. I was so into this book I just was not paying attention to the time," he lied horribly, and he could tell she did not buy it. "I can sleep better knowing that you're home."

"That was the truth at least," she remarked, sitting down on the ottoman beside his feet.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Today was one of the good days. I wasn't quite so tired."

"That's a good thing. Do you want me to go with your to your appointment tomorrow? I've got plenty of time so it won't be any big deal to take time off."

Maeko smiled at her father. She appreciated him wanting to be there but she preferred to go by herself. When she went alone, she could decide exactly how much of the truth about her condition she was willing to tell him.

"No. I'll be fine," she assured him, patting his hand. "Daddy, what would you say if I told you I met someone?"

"I'd say that's great, honey. But you'll have to tell him about your problem pretty quickly. It won't be fair to –"

"Yeah. I know."

That's why she always ran from relationships, figuratively and literally. Who wants to know right from the start that the relationship is doomed? What man wants the responsibility or hassle of a girlfriend who is always sick and will have more bad days than good? None. And that's why she preferred one night stands. She got to enjoy physical pleasure for just a little while. Sometimes she even allowed herself to pretend that the guys actually loved her. She smiled when she thought of Shuhei. Then she found this idiot who thinks he loves her. She knows how to change his mind quickly.

"I've got a date with him Friday night. I'll tell him then."

Maeko sat in her car after her check up at the doctor's office. She had received her antibiotics and pain medication. She had also been told that her heart had received more damage from her recent bout of drinking, smoking, staying up too late, and having too much physical activity, only a small part of which was sex. Shuhei was the first guy she had been with in six months and she had decided to play the proverbial field while she still could. Since she was going to die anyway, she might as well have fun. So much for those plans. She had fallen in love with the black haired poet who hated love nearly as much as she did. How ironic. However, she was certain he would never want to see her again after her confession on Friday night. She imagined it would not go over well to know that the woman he was interested in could die any given day. Sighing heavily with sadness, she had to admit she would not want to love a person like that either.

Maeko started the car and decided to go by the police station to see if her father wanted to go to lunch with her. She entered the station and immediately began receiving the looks she was accustomed to but hated. Most of her father's coworkers had known her all of her life. The expressions of pity that she could not stand met her fake but cheery smile. If they wanted to put on a show of false emotion, she could too. The other people were positively mystified by the odd, tense reactions of their coworkers so they avoided her. Then there was Shinji.

"Maeko!" he exclaimed, appearing beside her as if he had materialized out of thin air.

"Shinji," she groaned as he threw his arms around her for a crushing hug.

Shinji was her father's partner and was like a brother to her. He had just graduated from the academy and was a rookie in training with Kensei when all hell broke loose in his training officer's life. He and Kensei had developed a bond through the incident that even the Chief recognized so he made them partners. The young officer had spent so much time at their house that it was a long held belief that he would marry Maeko when she got older. There was only a five year age difference between them so it would have been completely plausible. However, the two of them had developed more of a sibling bond while he and her father had developed a parent/child bond. The whole dynamic would have been too weird for everyone involved.

"How are you feeling? Your dad said you were going to the doctor today," he said, keeping his arm around her shoulders as they walked to her father's office.

"I'm okay," she lied. She dreaded having to tell her father the truth. "It was just a regular checkup."

"I'm glad you're all right. You really should take better care of yourself," he admonished her in his usual brotherly fashion. "You shouldn't worry your father so much."

"Yes, thank you, I know," she snapped, already feeling guilty enough without him giving her a few more spoons full of condemnation to choke down.

"So what brings you here today?" he asked, draping his arm over her shoulders.

"My car," she answered with a mischievous grin.

"Oh, ha ha, you are a funny one. I've always loved your wonderful sense of humor," he shot back, kissing her on the cheek. "Gotta go. Believe it or not, I have work to do."

"I don't believe it," Kensei said as he stepped out of his office.

Maeko could not help but burst out laughing. She did not know if it was just good timing or if her father had chosen that moment to become a smart aleck, but it did not matter because either way it was hilarious.

Shinji's toothy grin was quickly replaced with a severe glower. He turned around and stalked off to who knows where, most likely the break room to eat his lunch.

"Hey, do you want to go to lunch?" Maeko inquired, giving her puzzled father a hug.

"How could I say no to that offer? Wanna go ask gloomy Gus over there?" he asked, hooking his thumb at the pouting Shinji who was staring at them from the hallway beside the break room door.

"Subtlety is not one of his better qualities is it?"

"Mmmm, definitely not. He's that irritating kind of lovable just like a real brother would be."

"All right. Well, let's make this a family outing."

Maeko waved the blonde over and they all went to lunch together. The question she was hoping to avoid came up during the conversation at lunch: what did the doctor say? Taking a deep breath, she glanced at both men who were staring at her expectantly. While focusing on her hands to avoid having to endure their crushed expressions, she divulged the horrible truth without leaving anything out. She heard her father's familiar sigh of frustration and she knew if she looked at him she would see one hand in his hair and the other on his forehead. Her eyes dared to glimpse at Shinji who offered her a sad smile and patted her on the shoulder.

Maeko had not seen the point in taking care of herself because she basically had been given an open ended death sentence. It could happen in five minutes or it could happen in fifty years. Her heart had been severely weakened and damaged by rheumatic fever she had suffered at the age of fifteen. Her mother, a strong believer in a holistic, natural approach to medicine, had attempted to treat Maeko's strep throat with herbal cures that did not work therefore causing rheumatic fever. By the time she was finally taken to a doctor, she had already developed rheumatic heart disease which had damaged the heart tissue irreparably. The damage would only get progressively worse if she dared to do anything except lie in bed. She believed it was her mother's guilt that had caused her to abandon her family, especially her sick and dying daughter.

For the first two years after the diagnosis, Maeko was bedridden. She was weak and tired as her heart struggled to pump the blood through her body. After gaining enough strength to leave the bed and graduate from high school, she decided she wanted to try college. When two semesters were completed, it had become too tiring and too much of a struggle to get to class or study. She quit because she realized she was wasting her time when she had no future ahead of her anyway. That was when she started self-destructing with the excuse that she had to experience life while she could. Her first goal was to lose her virginity which was easy enough since there are not many teenage boys that will turn down sex from anyone, especially a pretty girl. Sneaking out, staying out all night, shoplifting, underage drinking, and the like became a habit that nearly drove her father crazy and almost cost him his job in addition to his sanity. She figured if she was going down, she would go down in a so called blaze of glory. She realized too late that she had a very strange sense of what kind of activities could be deemed glorious. Watching her father now as he struggled to maintain his composure, she regretted every single deed that ever brought him shame or a sleepless night.

"I'm sorry. I promise I'll take better care of myself. As a matter of fact, I'm a little tired. I think I'll go home and take a nap," she said, standing up and walking away from the table without another word.

"Maeko," Shinji called, following her out onto the sidewalk. He pulled her into his arms for a less painful but more heartfelt hug than the earlier one. "You know if you ever need anything, even if it's just to talk, you can call me."

"Yeah. I know. Hey, Shinji," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "Take care of Daddy for me, will ya?"

"You know I will," he responded, opening her car door for her. He stood watching her departure until she was out of sight.

"What did she say?" Kensei inquired, walking up behind him.

"She's as worried about you as you are about her. I think she's finally growing up. I don't think she has the desire to destroy herself quickly anymore."

"No? That's good. That disease is taking care of it fast enough for her."

"There's not a possibility of a heart transplant or something?" Shinji asked, stubbing his toe at the sidewalk like a nervous child.

"No. This could be managed if she would only take care of herself. I don't know. Maybe she's right. She might as well enjoy life while she can," he muttered feeling completely helpless and almost hopeless. This part of parenting was dreadful; when your child is in mortal danger and there is nothing you can do to save them.