"How long was I gone?"
"Two months. You just…disappeared. Cole found me and led me to you."
Cole then revealed that the so called "knights" here were "Promisers", a fanatical group of cultists obsessed with the Seekers of Truth. We fought through many of them and I delighted in the fact that Red Lyrium hadn't dulled my fighting skill. I cut bone and flesh easily as I did before- I could take a beating just like before- the only real differences was an insatiable hunger to kill my foes, a heightened sense of movement and red crystal growing out of my wounds. (Don't look, Josh.)
"Where are the others?"
"Jason, Vivienne and Sera are at Therinfal Redoubt dealing with Envy. My brother, sister, Dorian and Blackwall are meeting with Alexius and Calpernia in Ostwick. " Josh spoke as I peeked around a corner.
"Good." The way was clear, I was about to move forward but he pulled at my arm. I pushed him away and snarled. "Do not worry yourself over me."
"I have to worry. I care about y-"
"Don't say it." I stopped him in his tracks. Cole gave him a sad look and pointed his gaze to the floor.
"Echoes- I loved you with all my heart. I followed you to the end of time. I killed you so I could save you and you want friendship. I am your friend then. I am your Lion-"
"Shut up, Compassion!" I brought my fist down hard onto Cole's chest, the spirit doubled backward and Josh moved to his side. The spirit lifted his head in sadness and shook his head- he then looked at Josh and shook his head.
"Cole is innocent. Why are you-"
"No more words." I flatly shut him down. Josh gave me an angry look as I moved on without him.
"Cullen-"
"No more fucking words." I turned back to the mage and his eyes widened in fear as I grabbed his throat and slammed him against the wall. He had a horrified look as I blankly gazed at him and nodded to myself. "I need to kill them. I need it. I don't need your words. They are hollow."
I let go of the mage and he looked at me perplexed as he massaged his throat. I offered a hand to Cole, he took it reluctantly but smiled solemnly as if he knew some secret thing of which I had no idea. (Stay out of my head.)
We approached what seemed to be the courtyard of the fortress. We stood above the stables- I guessed from the smell of horse shit emanating from below. We saw a seeker being dragged inside by a few templars who shut the doors behind them. The courtyard was well guarded, two archers at the doors leading inside the main keep- a shield bearer at the stairs.
I assumed a shield wall stance as I jumped off the high-ground; Josh remained hidden up top while Cole kept to the shadows and followed me. I drummed my shield to get their attention and blocked when I saw an arrow come my way. I saw Cole assassinate the first archer as I parried a blow to my chest and struck out hard to open him up. Josh stepped out of the fade and impaled the knight on his spirit-blade. I heard an arrow fly as Cole slit the next archer's throat and instinctively bull rushed Josh, the arrow struck my shield as Josh recovered and fired a barrage of icicles at the lone archer in the barn. She was dead before the second shard hit her.
"Thank you, Cullen."
I merely gave him a blank look as I moved to the doors of the keep and saw that it was locked.
"You won't even speak to me?"
"…" I moved away from the mage and checked the bodies for a key.
"I am in pain." I heard Cole speak and I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood for his crap and I didn't want to hurt him again, so I blocked him out- but instead I heard the song so I reverted to hearing Cole carry on about my feelings and Josh's apparently. "Do not look at me. I am a monster now. I want you to live. I want you. But you want friendship- Friends then. I am your friend- but you care too much still. I let go of you. Do not make this any harder than it already is."
"Oh Cullen." (Stop it with the 'Oh Cullen's! Damn you Josh.)
I ignored him, found the key and opened the keep. Inside, there was a contingent of knights surrounding a very young Seeker, bound in place with a metal brace. Before any of the templars could do anything to him, I intoned fire and cast it out- but it wasn't vhenan-ise. It a blood red flame and it struck swiftly. The ball of flame seared many of the knights, allowing Cole to move in and save the Seeker while Josh and I handled the remaining templars. Cole released the man and he looked at me in confusion as I sheath my blade and helped him to his feet.
"Thank you. Who are you people?" The youth asked with a grateful look as he bowed to us.
"I am Joshua, First Enchanter of the Ostwick Circle; these are my friends, Knight-Commander Cullen Rutherford of Kirkwall and Cole. He's the one who brought me here." (Yes. I am your "friend".)
"I am Daniel, I trained under Seeker Pentaghast." The seeker smiled slightly but he cringed when I broke into a coughing fit. "You don't look well, Knight-Commander."
"They…fed me red lyrium. I seems like I was their first subject."
"Red Lyrium? Seekers are immune- I do not know why but the Lord Seeker- he's gone mad. If we kill him- I can find you help from amongst the other seekers. " The young seeker affirmed as he pointed to the doors leading deeper into Caer Oswin but I shook my head in disregard.
"We will kill him; you will leave here and find Cassandra. Tell her- her that he she wishes to avert disaster, she must come to Ostwick with Leliana and Varric. Then you reroute all Seekers to Ostwick."
"What about you, sir?" Daniel gave me a worried look and I waved him off.
"I've survived worse."
"What could be worse than slowly becoming a monster?"
"Losing the one you love."
"I…" The Seeker hesitated and I saw Josh look away in sadness as Cole whispered something in his ear. "I will go then. Make the bastard pay!"
I nodded to him and Josh approached me. He opened his mouth to speak but I placed a finger over his kissable lips.
"You can rebuke the Red with your touch but I expect you keep your distance."
"I can save you?"
'No, but you can slow it down. This is something that cannot be cured."
"I should help you-" Josh moved close to me and took hold of my former-broken arm. He reached for one of the crystals and cried out when I ripped his hand away and pushed him against a wooden beam. Cole shook his head slightly as he moved over to the throne and searched about. "Why?"
"Maybe I like suffering. Maybe it's my way of coming to terms with loss- to suffer and prevail."
"It's foolish."
"You're foolish."
We managed to deal with the Lord Seeker with relative ease. He tried to drain Josh's mana but I was able to dispel his efforts, allowing Cole to strike mercilessly. The Promisers were no more and the remaining Seekers would make their way to Ostwick once Daniel met with Cassandra.
The spirit disappeared as Josh helped me to mount his horse, the mage forced me to ride behind him as we returned to Ostwick, taking a few rest stops between to rest our tired limbs. Cole probably followed from the shadows to keep the Knight-Enchanter safe.
One night- after a hazy dream of gruesome deaths and reliving my past failures over and over again, I felt like my spine was burning from the inside out. I must have screamed out because Josh bounced from his bed roll and settled beside me. He tore at my armor, leaving me in just my pants. I flushed as he let out a gasp when he saw how pale I was. I tried to push him away but I was too tired, too consumed by pain and noise to even hear what he was saying.
He touched a red crystal and I finally heard him, a low hiss of pain as the red broke away and blood pooled at the wound as my arm broke again. Josh tried to mend it but that was when I felt it- absolute pain…coursing through my veins, stabbing into my eyes, twisting into my legs, ripping at my arms, pressing my chest and tearing out of my back. (What…is happening to me?!)
I screamed as I pushed Josh away and moved onto all fours as I roared, barely held up by my body. I punched down with each roar. I felt my skin being penetrated by red lyrium. I felt my flesh tear inch by inch- I felt my blood curdle as it turned to crystal, I saw the look of dread on Josh's face as he leaned against a tree for support. He watched in silence as I roared, each time louder than the last time- pure agony in a single voice- raw and terrifying as I heard every wild animal steer clear of our camp- A solemn roar as the forest went silent.
"S-Stay back!" I managed to stutter between the roars of pain. I could not stop myself from screaming out and roaring. It was pain beyond anything I had ever felt before and I wanted it gone. Josh gave me a miserable look as he watched me, but soon he shook his head in anger and he pounced towards me, seizing my body in a tight embrace.
"I can help you!"
"No one can help me, Josh."
"I don't care." Josh touched the crystals on my back as I spewed out blood- the sensation of him removing the lyrium made me feel sick but soon I felt weak. Utterly weak and I realized: Lyrium cannot be forced out, it takes time to be removed- to detox the body of its effects. If I wanted to survive it, I had to run its course and hope to the Maker that I didn't turn into a monster.
"Josh…stop!" I snarled as I pushed him away and he looked at me confused as I explained what I had realized.
"Fine then." Josh muttered to himself but then gave me a worried look and wiped the blood away from my mouth. "But that was just your upper body, what…about down…"
Josh pointed to my pants and we both flushed as I realized what he meant. I crawled away from him as he reached for my pants but he caught hold of my arm and his gaze softened.
"I want to help you, my friend."
"I don't want your help."
"Oh Cullen, I…please…" (Josh…stop it) The mage gave me a resolute look as he moved for my pants, his fingers already undoing the ties of it and I found myself unable to move as he pushed me onto my back. He tugged down my pants and my smalls painfully slow- instinctively I covered myself, but Josh removed my hands and attempted to heal the bruising on my thighs and feet. His fingers trail upward from my thighs and stopped short of my hardening cock. The song rang in my head as I looked at the mage in shame.
"I'm sorry." I stammered as he checked it for any welts or signing of the crystals forming. The mage shook his head and flushed.
"Don't be…uh…I've never seen another man naked before."
"I'm sorry that it was me then in this sorry state, and not Jason."
"How you feel can't be helped. It's natural." I saw Josh look away bashfully. "Like how I feel."
"How do you feel?"
"Foolish."
Josh then moved over to me and gave me a sad look, then he suddenly straddled me- pinning me down to the ground as he moved in for a kiss. At first, I was in disbelief- it was only when I felt his tongue lick my scar that I knew it was real. His fingers roamed my body; my flesh felt like it was on fire as he grazed the dagger wound Samson gave me.
Before I knew it, Josh was stripping off his armor and flush against me as he started a slow grind against my cock. I returned the grinds eagerly.
"What a-about Jason?"
"He ended things with me after you left; said h-he saw how much you loved me and that he could not stand in the way of true love." Josh kissed at my neck and I bucked against his dick. "How do you…want to do this?"
"Just as we are…when I- if I get better, we can try other ways."
"You will get better."
"I d-don't know if I will. I…" I inhaled sharply as Josh began to move faster and took our throbbing needs into his hand. He looked into my eyes and smiled as he intoned ice and the cold trickled onto my flesh making me buck into his hand for heat.
"You look so handsome with that scar." Josh leaned forward and kissed at it. He was changing the subject. I understood why. He wanted to indulge for once without fear of losing someone he loved. "And your eyes…Maker they would strike fear into any man but I see love where others see terror."
"When I s-saw them, I was afraid that I looked like a monster."
"Y-You could never be a monster."
"You hated me."
"I shouldn't have said that…I was upset and…and-"
"I'm close…a-as well…" I managed to cry before Josh came with a loud howl. The noise he made drove me over the edge and I felt my inhibitions go away as I covered our chests in my spunk. For once since being forced the Red, I heard no song- only the pants Josh made as he rolled off me and snuggled my arm. "That…was…wow. Uh- how…how do you feel?"
"Foolish. I'm sorry I said that I hated you. I…love you. I love who you are and what you are doing for all of us and I will help you get through this. I owe you that much at least."
"You don't owe me anything Josh. I love you too."
Josh brought a spare rag to clean us up. Once clean, we settled beside each other, half clothed and blushing. I began to hear the song again but it was quite distant- a few times I cringed as the red ravaged my insides but I knew somehow that I would be okay.
"We didn't have a chance to talk about the white wolf."
"Oh…right." Josh smiled slightly as he looked at me and nodded. "He came to me since the day I blew the horn. He watches me- a few times he helped me with some demons harassing me."
"Tell me if anything changes. We have to be one step ahead of him and the Elder One."
"Of course." Josh pulled me into a kiss and I savored in the taste of him. He then pulled away abruptly. "Can I ask a favor of you?"
"Sure, Josh."
"Next time…could you take me?"
"Take you? Where?" I feint inexperience and Josh's blush intensified as he looked away and placed a warm hand on my chest.
"You know what I mean."
"I don't. Where must I take you?"
"Against a tree. Or in my quarters, against the bookshelves. Or what about…"
"Whoa whoa whoa!" I chuckled as the mage flushed and kissed my cheek. "Let me recover- if I can."
"Think of it as motivation to recover." Josh straddled my hips and kissed my scar as he roamed my body with his fingers again. "I want to have you to myself."
"You have me."
(I promise.)