Chapter Four: We Tear it Down

September 16, 2017

"Mom?" I asked as she sat at her desk, working on something. She removed her glasses and turned towards me, raising her eyebrows at me.

"I'm going to sleep over Angela's tonight after Emmett and I go out," I told her as I held my breath.

"Are you asking or telling?" She asked. Sometimes I swore my Mom only did the things she did because she could. She was power hungry, to say the least.

"Asking," I sighed.

"I supposed that's okay if her parents are okay with you staying."

"They are," I lied. Emmett and I were going to a party at Jess' house. We would probably end up staying there since her parents were on vacation if we didn't end up going to Emmett's house. His parents were okay with letting me stay there as long as we kept his bedroom door open and we slept on top of his comforter.

"Okay, just try and be home early tomorrow to get a jump on your schoolwork." She told me to make sure I did my homework like I was still in elementary school. I did my homework right when I got home from school and before she was home from work. I didn't need to be reminded of school work.

"Will do," I called as I headed upstairs. I texted Emmett, telling him that we were good to go and that I'd be ready shortly. I pulled on a pair of jean shorts and a tank top as he was pulling into the driveway. I went up to the window and snickered at him sitting on the hood of his car like some stud. He had been really good with doing his physical therapy for his knee, so his doctor gave him the okay to drive as long as it wasn't for long distances for the time being.

I couldn't wait to get my car.

I finished putting my makeup on and headed downstairs to his car. When I got inside, he leaned in for a gentle kiss. This week had been super busy for both of us and we didn't have much time together. The school year was starting to get more hectic and even though he wasn't playing football this semester, he still went to practices and I had cheer after school.

"You look nice." He smiled, pulling out of my driveway. We talked about his doctor's appointment for his knee and how that had gone to that afternoon. I was so glad it was healing right, especially since it was hard for him to keep his weight off of it at the start.

"You're sure you're up for this?" I asked as we pulled up outside of Jessica's house. Doctor's apointments usually exhausted him and he'd been in a strange mood since I'd gotten in the car.

"I just wanna blow off some steam," He sighed as he hopped out of his car and grabbed his crutches from the back seat. I got out of the car and looked at the overly huge house. There were a few girls outside, puking already and I figured they were freshman that had heard about the party and wanted to prove to the popular senior and junior boys that they were cool.

Puking the bushes instantly ruined any chance they had.

It was the third week back to school and Jess was having her annual party. Her parents were never around on the weekends, and even if they got back early, they just ignored us and went up to their bedroom. Jessica's parents were just like her and sometimes she told us they encouraged her to throw parties as long as they didn't get a noise complaint. This weekend they'd decided to go on vacation without either of their children.

It was the perfect place for parties.

"You sure?" I asked hesitantly.

"Bella, I'm fine," He smiled as he gripped my hand. Even though it had been three months since he got hurt and he was just starting to be able to put some more pressure on his leg. He needed to use crutches at least for another month, but he was healing faster than the doctors expected. This was the first time since he had gotten hurt that we'd be with everyone. He wanted to do more with this summer, but we ended up lounging around all summer together since he was in too much pain to do much else.

He kept telling me to go out and have fun while I could, but I felt bad. I wouldn't have had any fun knowing he was stuck on the couch for the summer.

"Just, let me know if you're starting to hurt. We can leave then."

"Look, I'm just looking to drink," He smiled as he squeezed my hand. "We're staying for as long as it takes me to get drunk."

"Okay," I rolled my eyes. "Are you sure you're allowed to drink with the medicine you're on?"

"I didn't take any today," He told me. "I knew we were coming tonight so I just dealt with it all day. PLus, the doctor wants me to start not taking them anymore."

I nodded as Emmett hobbled forward and I helped him get up the few front steps. His pain was nothing to laugh at, but the fact that he could still barely use his crutches cracked me up. Especially since he'd broken his leg in the eighth grade and this wasn't his first time trying to use them.

"I'm in pain, Bella," He sighed when I couldn't contain my laughter anymore.

"You are not," I slapped his arm. I knew he was hurting but sometimes all we could do was laugh. Laughter had proven to be the best memory when he got hurt. When we got inside, Mike already had his tongue pushed down Jess' throat and I could see Tyler with his hands in Lauren's back pockets as she pushed him against the back wall.

Didn't people have any control anymore?

"Never do that to me," I whispered, nudging towards Lauren and Tyler.

"Ew, no way." He laughed as we made our way over to where the keg was. Jess' older brother was a saint and always provided the alcohol for us. As long as he paid with it for cash, it wouldn't be traced back to him if the parties ever got busted. It had never happened, but he did what he thought he needed to do. I grabbed two cups and filled them up for us.

Emmett chugged his drink and I warned him to go slow. We didn't party every weekend, but we did drink together enough. I just didn't want him overdoing it since he hadn't had a drink since before his surgery.

"I swear I'm fine, Bella," He sighed.

"Yeah, but…"

"You're my girlfriend!" He hollered. "Not my mother." His eyes widened when he'd realized what he said.

"Ouch," I rolled my eyes.

"I'm just saying." He sighed, letting his eyes drop to the floor. "I can take care of myself."

"Okay, I'll let you take care of yourself," I said, loud enough to get everybody in the kitchen's attention. "I'm going to go find Angela," I sighed, grabbing my cup and walking away from him.

Emmett and I rarely fought, but when we did it tended to last for a few hours. We were both very stubborn people, so neither of us would want to be the first to apologize or want to talk about it.

When I found Angela, she pulled me aside so we could talk more privately. She told me that she and Ben had finally had sex last night and that it was more perfect than you could ever imagine. I smiled as she told me how romantic their date before was and how gentle he was with her. I knew Ben was a good guy and that he'd never intentionally hurt her, but it was nice to hear that he was careful with her.

"So, what are you two fighting about?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, grabbing another drink.

"You and Emmett haven't talked all night and he disappeared with his football friends a little bit ago."

"He called me his mother."

"No," She gasped.

"Yep, and I'm pissed and don't really wanna talk to him. Not now anyway."

"That's fair." She smiled.

"I mean, I just want him to be safe? Does that make me his mother?" I asked and she shook her head. "I think that makes me a caring girlfriend. He's an ass."

"Bella, you're drunk," She laughed.

"I am not. Just a bit tipsy," I giggled. tipsy was a funny word.

Angela looked up. "Incoming," I turned around to see Rosalie chasing after Edward.

"Come on, Edward." She wined.

"Rosalie, go bother someone else!" Edward yelled as he continued walking.

"Wow, trouble in paradise," I whispered in Angela's ear and I could tell she was fighting off laughter.

"You're the worst boyfriend, ever!"

"And you're a sucky girlfriend." He snapped. "I guess it takes one to know one."

"I hate you!"

"Right back at you!" Rosalie turned and ran out the front door, and Edward headed towards us.

"Can you move?" He barked, grabbing a cup. "You're standing right in front of the fucking keg," I scooted over so he could get to the keg and without another word he left in a huff. I watched as he skulked away and wasn't quite sure if I felt bad for him. He was kind of an asshole, but Rosalie was a huge bitch. I didn't really blame him for calling her out for her bad behavior.

"I don't know why they're even together," I whispered to Angela.

"No one else can stand them," She giggled as Ben walked up to us.

"He used to be nice," I mused. "When we were kids."

"Yeah and then he started hanging out with those kids from the Reservation and he turned into a dick."

"You're right," I nodded. I talked with Angela and Ben for a bit, but then they started getting handsy. I took that as my queue to leave and tried to find Emmett. When he was nowhere to be seen, I wandered outside to see if they were hanging out by the fire in the backyard, but he still wasn't there. I sat down on the steps of the porch and looked up. It was a weirdly clear night in rainy Forks, and I was kind of drunk so the stars were mesmerizing.

"What are you doing out here, Swan?" I heard a familiar voice ask. I turned and saw Edward sitting on the porch swing, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"Just needed some fresh air, Masen," I lied. It still never made much sense to me that we couldn't use each other's first names. We weren't enemies or anything. We just didn't really like each other. And it was something we'd done back when we were kids. I couldn't remember how it had started, but it stuck to this day. "You?"

"Rosalie came back inside," He stood up and came to sit next to me. "I'm hiding from her."

"Why do you keep getting back together with her?" I asked. They had broken up more times than I could count. It was kind of ridiculous.

"She's good in bed," He shrugged.

"You're disgusting."

"Is your boy good in bed?" He raised his cocky eyebrows.

"That is none of your business." I spat as I shoved him.

"Is he?"

"Are you?"

"Why do you think Rosalie keeps coming back to me?"

"He's great," I lied in a huff, just wanting him to leave me alone.

"Are you?" His eyes lit up when I didn't answer. "You're lying. You haven't fucked yet, have you?"

"Go away, Edward."

"You're kinda hot when you're mad," Was he seriously flirting with me right now? He knew I was with Emmett and I never thought he'd sink that low to flirt with someone in a committed relationship. Just because he couldn't stay together with his girlfriend didn't mean he had to try and ruin other people's relationships.

"Okay, I'm leaving," I stood up and went back inside. I tried finding Angela, but neither her nor Ben were anywhere to be found. I grabbed another drink, and I was starting to really feel it. When I couldn't find Angela anywhere and was pretty certain I heard her behind one of the bedroom doors, I tried finding Emmett again but he was still gone with his football buddies.

I considered calling Alice to ask her to come get me, but I decided against it. She was forty minutes away in Port Angeles and it was late. Plus, I wanted to have a good time and I didn't need Emmett to do that. I wasn't going to let anyone ruin my fun that I'd been looking forward to.

I found Jess talking with James and joined them for a while before stumbling towards the kitchen for another beer. I was small, I only weighed one-twenty, so the drinks I'd had were really starting to kick in. As I filled up my cup again, I felt someone lurking behind me.

"What are you doing?" I asked turning too quickly and spilling my drink. I started laughing as he rolled his eyes at me since I'd gotten beer all over the front of his shirt.

"Damn, Swan." He groaned.

"Whoops," I giggled. "It seems I've spilled some of my beer on your nice...white t-shirt. Come on, let's go get that stain out."

"It's fine," He protested.

"If we don't put some soap and water on it, it will stain. Do you want a giant beer stain on your white shirt?" I argued. Even drunk I could boss people around and tell them how to take care of them. I grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him to the upstairs bathroom. I grabbed a cloth from under the sink, wet it, and rubbed some soap into it.

"Bella, stop it," He wined as I started pressing the cloth to his shirt. "This is ridiculous."

"This is a nice shirt," I argued.

"It's a fucking cotton t-shirt."

"If you take it off, then it'll be easier for me to clean up," I argued with him, ignoring his pleas for me to stop.

"For the love of…" He sighed as I practically ripped his shirt off. Once he was shirtless, I gulped. He was fucking hot. I'd never seen him without a shirt and never pictured him with a six-pack. Edward never came to any parties at the river or to the pool during the summer. I was starting to wish he would have. Emmett worked out, but he wasn't as defined as Edward was.

I was very pleasantly surprised.

"Phew," I whistled, dropping the shirt to the ground and reaching my hands out. I had no idea what had come over me, but I suddenly had this urge to just…touch him and his perfectly toned stomach.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ignored him and pressed my palm to his abs. I could tell his breathing was becoming labored and I felt my heart rate increasing. "Shit," He whispered as he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. I was shocked for a second, but then wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled myself closer to him.

He bent down and wrapped his arms around my lower ass, picking me up and setting me down on the counter. I pulled him impossibly closer as he grabbed the hem of the shirt I was wearing. He was hesitant, and I was annoyed so I broke away from him.

"If you're not going to take my top off, you might as well get out."

"What about your boyfriend?" He asked and at that split second, my anger towards Emmett for ditching me and my hornieness took over my brain. I couldn't think about anything else but Edward's hot body and the fact that he was standing two inches away from me.

"Why, you want me to go back to him and leave you alone?"

"Fuck that," He moaned, ripping my shirt off and throwing it to the ground. He didn't waste any time removing my bra while I fiddled with his shorts zipper. Eventually, after plenty of tugging, we managed to get each other entirely naked. When I looked down, I gulped. Emmett was definitely big, but there was just something about Edward.

"Told you I was good in bed," He whispered as he kissed my neck.

"Big dick doesn't mean good in bed." I pointed out, and decided it probably wasn't the best idea to taunt him while we were naked. He continued to kiss and suck and do wonderful things with his tongue until I thought I might explode. I was so pent up that once he pushed a finger inside me, I came almost immediately.

"Fuck, you're so hot," He moaned as I convulsed around him. He removed his finger and gripped my hips, pulling me to the edge of the counter. He looked me in the eye, making sure it was okay and I nodded. He lined himself up and pushed deep inside me.

It fucking hurt.

"Shit!" I cursed as he stilled to give me a second to adjust.

"You okay?" He asked. I took a deep breath and I was pretty sure it hurt so much because he wasn't doing anything. He was just standing there.

"Please move," He started thrusting inside of me and I gripped his shoulders tightly and began panting. The position Edward and I were in felt fucking amazing and I was pretty certain I was seeing stars again.

He was right. He was pretty damn amazing in bed.

"Fuck, Bella," He cursed as a bead of sweat dripped down his forehead. "You're so…ugh…fucking tight."

"Yes!" I yelled as he thrust hard inside me. "Fuck, Edward. I'm going to cum! Oh my god!"

"I can help with that," He smiled, pressing his thumb to my clit. It only took a few strokes of doing that to bring me to the edge.

"Fuuuuuck!" I yelled, clawing at his back. I shook underneath him as he continued to thrust inside me, helping me ride out my orgasm.

"Damn, baby. That was hot," He panted and I knew he was getting close. I wrapped my legs around his waist and after a few more thrusts, he stilled inside me for a few seconds before collapsing. He pulled out of me and just slumped against the counter, laying his head in between my boobs.

"Oh…" I panted, still coming down from my high. After a few seconds, he stood up and grabbed some toilet paper so we could clean ourselves up. He reached down for his boxers, and I stopped him. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Umm…getting dressed?"

"You don't wanna go again?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Obviously I do…"

"Then you'd better take those off," I smiled, hopping off the counter and gripping his semi hard dick in my hands.

At some point during the night, Edward and I had made our way into one of the guest bedrooms to go at it and passed out. I woke up as the sun began shining through the window and observed my surroundings. When I saw Edward naked beside me, I knew exactly what had happened the night before. Everything was hazy. I couldn't remember how we'd gotten in here and I certainly couldn't remember how I'd ended up naked beside Edward. I did, however, remember my clothes were in the bathroom so I found an old robe in the closet and pulled it on. I ran to the bathroom and observed the scene.

The room was completely wrecked. Our clothes were all over the fucking place and there was still strewn across the floor. A lotion bottle we'd thrown on the tile floor had exploded so there was that mess. It was just a mess and I felt terrible for doing this to their house.

What had Edward and I done?

As I picked up my clothes and started putting them back on, I noticed the white shirt on the ground. I picked it up and noticed the pale brown spot on the front. The beer. I looked up in the mirror as I started remembering bits and pieces of that night. I'd spilled something on Edward and wanted to clean it up for him. He took his shirt on and he was...really hot.

And then we had sex.

I started to panic. I had lost my virginity to Edward Masen in Jessica's bathroom. How had I let this happen? I wasn't stupid. I mean, I had been really drunk but I wasn't stupid. And then I remembered being so pissed off at Emmett that I drank more than usual and that's how I'd let my inabilities drop enough. I sat down on the toilet and cried into my hands.

All I wanted to do was have fun with my boyfriend, and I'd ended up sleeping with a guy I didn't even like. I didn't even like Edward and I'd given him my virginity. I could never get that back. I was such a slut and I'd never felt so dirty before.

I finished getting dressed and walked back to the room where Edward was still asleep. I covered him with a towel and prayed no one had walked in on us. Almost everyone was gone except for a few stragglers. When I looked outside, Emmett's Jeep was still parked in the yard so I knew I had to find him.

Emmett.

"No," I cried as I shut the front door. What the hell was I going to do now? I was in love with Emmett and had thrown our relationship down the drain for a night with…Edward Masen. "No," I cried again.

"There you are." Emmett's voice boomed from behind me and I started sobbing. I couldn't bear to look at him so I just turned away. "Bella?"

"Let's go," I finally said through my sobs and he didn't question me. I usually cried when I didn't feel good, so he probably just assumed I was really hung over. He led me to the car and jumped into the drivers seat. I cried all the way home and wouldn't even look in his direction.

"Where'd you disappear to last night?" He asked when he parked in front of my house.

"I just kind of wondered around and passed out in one of the guest rooms," I lied. Why was it so easy to lie to him?

"I'm sorry I called you my mom." He whispered.

"It's okay."

"I know you were just trying to help."

"Really, it's okay." Nothing he did would ever compare to what I'd just done.

"Ohio State called yesterday as I was waiting for doctor's appointment," He admitted. "And they told me I wouldn't be playing for them next year and I could possibly try out before my sophomore year. My chances are gone."

"Emmett," I bit my lip. He'd gotten the worst news for his college career he could possibly get and I'd had sex with Edward.

What the hell was wrong with me?

"And I should have told you, but I didn't want to disappoint you. You've been so supportive and I thought they could make their decision based off of videos of me playing," He explained. "So they called me to apologize for getting my hopes up and hung up."

"I'm sorry,"

"No, I'm the one who screwed up with you. I should have been honest with you and then I wouldn't have snapped at you."

"Stop apologizing!" I snapped because I was about to burst into tears. "I'm tired."

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Tomorrow was Sunday and we usually went to the park to do our homework together if the weather was good.

"I'll text you," I said instead of answering his question. I jumped out of his car and ran for my house. I'd told my parents I was staying over Angela's, so they were surprised to see me so early in the morning. I just told them I didn't feel good and that I just wanted to sleep in my own bed.

I went upstairs to jump in the shower in an attempt to wash everything that happened last night down the drain. This was not me. I was not someone who cheated on the guy that I loved. I was not someone to lie to the guy I loved. I didn't even really like Edward that much and I didn't know him at all.

I had basically slept with a stranger.

I felt disgusting, even after I'd gotten out of the shower. I changed into a pair of sweatpants and one of Emmett's t-shirts to try and make myself feel better. But, his shirt smelled like him, which just made me feel even guiltier. I switched into one of my shirts and crawled into bed. I pulled the covers over my head to try and hide from the world and just cried. I cried for breaking that trust and for sleeping with someone I didn't even know.

How had I let this happen?

I loved Emmett. We were so good together and got along so well. Edward was not the kind of guy I had ever been attracted to and he had a girlfriend too. Not only was I a cheater, I was the one he cheated with.

To make matters worse, I had no idea what to do. Did I tell Emmett and let him break up with me? Was it better to keep this to myself instead of hurting him? Did I just end it with him without a reason? Either way, no one won and I was still a cheater.

A dirty…awful cheater.