Thank you everyone for reading and an even bigger thanks to you who took the time to leave a review, I appreciate the support and can't thank you enough for taking the time to do that for me :) here's the next chapter...

Sorry, I know it's may but this is a Christmas chapter.

x-X-x-X-x

Christmas Eve 1999.

Hearing a knock on her suite door, Clarisse placed the Christmas card she held in her hand down on the table and called out "come," before slipping off her glasses and turning her head towards the door as Joseph entered and closed the door behind him "ahh Joseph," she said and stood to her feet.

"You wanted to see me?" He said, watching her as she clasped her hands together in front of her.

"Yes I do, I've been going through Christmas cards all morning I'm in desperate need of a break and wondered if you can spare an hour to take a walk with me around the gardens?" She asked, watching him.

"Of course," nodded Joseph.

"Great, thank you," said Clarisse as she walked across the room and grabbed her coat from the hook and slipped it on.

Leaving the palace they walked in silence towards her rose garden and sat under the gazebo before Joseph finally spoke. "What time will Pierre arrive?" He asked, looking at her.

"It's normally around lunch time," she said, her eyes fixed on the palace a long moment before looking at him "will you go and collect him when the time comes?" She asked.

"Of course," he nodded "does he know that I have returned yet?" He asked and watched as she shook her head while looking back at the palace.

"Not yet, no," she said and looked down at her hands clasped together in her lap "I haven't really had chance to tell him anything, we hardly speak on the phone since Philippe died and he only visits now at Christmastime."

"Oh," Joseph said, looking back at the palace.

"It is what it is," she said and looked back up at him.

"I guess,"

"Anyway, I trust that Shades has gone over the schedule for today with you?" Clarisse asked as Joseph looked back at her.

"Yes, he has," he nodded.

"Alright, well I would like to change it slightly if I can?"

"Okay?" He asked.

"If security allow then I would like to attend midnight mass with Pierre tonight," she said and looked back at the palace.

"Are you sure?" He asked and watched as she looked back down at her hands.

"I am very sure," she nodded and looked back up at him "I need to start going again, I can't hide away forever just because Philippe isn't here anymore."

"Well you know that he wouldn't want you too hide away for the rest of your life," he said as she nodded and looked away.

"I know, and that's why I must take that step," she said softly and looked back at him "I know that it will be hard with it being Philippe's favourite time of year but I know that he will be right there beside me."

"He will be and he'll be proud of you too, just like I am," Joseph said and looked into her eyes.

"I really don't think I could do this if it wasn't for you being here, so thank you Joseph." She said and looked down at her hands as Joseph watched her a moment before looking across at the palace.

"You're welcome." He answered and looked back at her and smiled as she looked up at him.

Early Afternoon.

Standing in front of the Christmas tree in her suite, Clarisse took a sip of her tea and moved over to the table where a star tree topper lay waiting to be placed on top of the tree. It had been made by the boys when they were younger who insisted it should replace the old Renaldi family heirloom Angel that they had for the tree topper. Every Christmas for years after either Pierre or Philippe placed it upon the tree until it was lost, but going through some of Philippe's belongings that was boxed up in the attic recently she came across it and decided that it should once again take its place on top of the tree in her suite.

A few moments later there was a knock on her door, turning she called out for them to enter while placing her cup down on the table beside her and watched as Pierre appeared "Pierre," she smiled.

"Merry Christmas, mom," he smiled and dropped his bag inside the door before making his way over to her.

"Merry Christmas," she smiled as they embraced into a hug "did you have a good flight?" She asked as they pulled apart a moment later.

"I did," he nodded "and I must say that I was very surprised to see Joseph waiting for me at the airport," he said, watching as she picked up her cup and took a sip of her tea "when did he return?"

"He returned on my birthday," she answered and moved to sit down on one of the sofas armrests.

"He did?" He asked as she nodded and looked up at him "are you back together now then?"

"No," she answered and shook her head.

"I see," Pierre answered and moved to sit in one of the armchairs as Clarisse watched him.

"He told me when he came back that his feelings for me haven't changed and that they will always be there but I made it clear to him that I can't give him what we had before and that it has to be strictly professional this time."

"Are you sure him being back here is such a good idea then, giving your past together?"

"He is here to help with upcoming meetings and for additional security when we go to San Francisco to meet Amelia, it's such a delicate matter that there was only ever one person I fully trusted to help and I know that Philippe would approve of my choice so I asked him, thankfully he agreed to help," she said and looked down at the cup she held in her hands as she rested it on her thigh.

"Okay, that's good but do you still have feelings for him?" He asked and watched as she remained looking down at the cup resting on her thigh.

"Deep down I do feel the same way about him but since Philippe died I have no interest in being in an relationship." She said and looked back up at her son.

"Does he know that?" He asked.

"He does, we talked about it on my birthday and he understands," she nodded "but at the end of the day no matter what happened between us we are still friends, and I appreciate all the help he has given me since his return."

"At least you can still be friends," Pierre said and watched as she stood to her feet and moved around to the table.

Wanting to change the subject, Clarisse put her cup down on the table and picked up the Christmas star "look what I found?" She said and looked over at him as he looked down at her hands.

"Wow, I thought we had lost this years ago," he said and stood to his feet, walking over to her and took it from her hand.

"We did, I found it in one of Philippe's boxes up in the attic, how it got there though I don't know," she said and sipped her tea as Pierre looked up at the top of the tree.

"Can we put it up on this tree this year, for Philippe?" He asked, looking back at his mother as she lowered the cup down in front of her.

"That's what I thought we could do, I was waiting for you to arrive to put it on the tree, like you used too when you were younger." She said, placing her cup down on the table before walking over to him as he looked down at the star in his hands.

"I think," he began a moment later and looked up into her eyes "you should do it this year."

Seeing the hurt and sadness in his eyes, she nodded "alright, if you're sure?" She asked and watched as he nodded.

There, as Pierre held onto her hand she carefully stepped onto a chair and reached her arm across to place the star on the top of the tree. Once it was in place she let her arm fall down at her side to admire the tree a moment before stepping down from the chair to stand beside Pierre as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I wish he was still here," Pierre said, staring up at the star.

"Me too," Clarisse nodded as her son looked at her and watched as she moved to stand in front of the french doors.

"I know I can't get back here much, but are you coping okay?" He asked after a moment and moved to stand beside her, slipping his hands in his pockets.

"I am, your aunt Isabella and her family moved back to Genovia and with their help I've coped surprisingly well," she nodded and looked up at her son.

"Okay," Pierre said and watched as she looked back out the window "I'm sorry I never returned any of your calls, I promise when I return home I will make more of an effort to keep in touch."

Looking up at her son, Clarisse nodded "I would love that," she said and watched as he stepped closer and kissed her forehead.

"I am here if you need me, you know that don't you?" Pierre asked and looked into her eyes.

"Of course I do," she nodded and looked back out the window a moment before looking back up at him "and I'm here for you too."

"Thank you, mom," Pierre said softly and stepped closer, giving her a hug.

That Night.

Returning from midnight mass Clarisse had one Christmas drink with her family and several members of staff down in the lounge before calling it a night. Retiring to her suite she started to undress in her closet when she heard a knocking on her door. Grabbing her robe she made her way through her bedroom and opened the door leading to her lounge, calling out to them.

"Just a moment," she said, slipping on her robe and tying the sash as she walked over to open the door and seeing Joseph stood looking at her she pulled her robe tighter around her and folded her arms "Joseph? Is everything okay?" She asked.

"Yes," he nodded, noticing that the only light in the room came from the bedroom "I just wondered if you had a moment, but I see you are preparing for bed?"

"I am, but it's okay," she said and flicked on the light in her suite before stepping back, allowing him to pass before closing the door and turning to him "is everything alright, security wise?" She asked, moving to sit down in one of her armchairs.

"Yes, everything's alright," he nodded and moved to sit down on the sofa.

"And is everything alright with you?" She asked and tucked her foot behind her ankle while clasping her hands together on her lap.

"Yes, I'm alright, are you alright?" He asked and watched as she nodded while looking down.

"I'm alright too," she said and looked back up at him.

"That's good," he said, nodding and studied her a moment before pulling a long flat box out from inside his jacket "I know it's Christmas but this isn't a Christmas present, it's just a little something that I actually bought for you a few days before we were due to be married and well, I would still like you to have it," he said and past it to her.

"Thank you," she said and looked down at the box as she opened it to find a diamond jewellery set "oh Joseph, it's beautiful."

"I had planned on giving it to you on our honeymoon but then everything changed, so I put it in the drawer and completely forgot about it until I packed to come back here." He said as she looked back up at him and closed the box "I've just been waiting for the right moment to give it you."

"I know, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry that I don't have anything to give you in return," she said softly and watched as he looked down at his hands a moment.

"You allowing me back in your life, back here to protect you is the only gift I need," he said and looked up at her before standing to his feet.

"I'll be forever grateful to you for returning," she said and watched as he stepped closer.

"I know," he whispered and kissed her forehead "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too," she replied and watched as he walked out before looking down at the box in her hands.

A short time later she was laid in bed, thinking about long forgotten memories of them together when a couple tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Brushing them away she turned on her side and closed her eyes, willing for sleep to come but it never did.