Still not JKR :(

4. Rocks

I didn't stay angry with Sirius. I wasn't angry with James either. How could I be angry with either of them? Sirius more than made up for his indiscretions by being very indiscreet. His flirtations were upped and I'd heard there were rumours that Sirius had finally met somebody. Yes. Me. I wasn't entirely sure how long this would last for. It was fun being with him though. He made my nights very interesting indeed and contrary to popular opinion, he hadn't even tried it on. Not that he would have to try very hard.

Despite everything though, I was still falling for James. I couldn't help the jealousy that overwhelmed me when Megan draped herself over him at breakfast, lunch and dinner was becoming harder to deal with. Most nights it was tempting to skip dinner and head to the kitchens. But tonight, the night before the Halloween dance, I was dragged almost kicking and screaming to the Great Hall because Mary wanted to discuss the Hogsmeade trip and which costumes we were getting. Why couldn't I just be left in peace? Lizzie and Jenny were studying for their astronomy lesson and Remus had disappeared off for his monthly. This left Mary, Sirius, James and I to enjoy riveting conversation. Where was Peter now I came to think about it.

"So I'm thinking that Marilyn Monroe would be a good idea. It wouldn't take me long to put my hair up. What do you think Lils?" I was staring into the back of my spoon. Holy Merlin, had my hair been like that all day? "Lils?" I sincerely hoped not. And what the hell was that in my teeth? "LILY EVANS!"

"What?" Could a girl not get any peace? Oh great, now the whole table was staring. "Sorry Mary. Spaced out."

"I was talking about costumes for tomorrow night."

"Oh, yeah. Sirius said something about matching or something." Mary stared at me. "What?"

"Were you actually listening to anything I said?" I looked down at my bowl of custard sheepishly, "Just be up and dressed tomorrow morning. I'll talk to Sirius about what you're going as." Why couldn't I be normal and interested in costumes and things? I was going to go back to staring into the back of my spoon when a sickly voice spoke those oh so nasty words. The sickly voice that was the reason why I now hated dinner.

"Jamesie wamsie! I missed you sho much!" Oh for the love of socks would somebody please give that girl a lobotomy. Maybe then she would shut up!

"Hey Megs, how was your day?" I groaned. Don't make her speak any more. Sirius, who was sat beside me, sniggered. I glared at him then elbowed him ever so slightly hard. I tried to drown out the whine as Megan started drawling on about something that really wasn't interesting. Seriously, how did James stand this?

"So Sirius," Mary said over my head, "What plans do you have for yours and Lily's costume for tomorrow night?" I was going to drown this conversation out as well until Sirius replied something very disturbing.

"I was thinking we would go as the Banana's in Pyjamas." This had me sitting bolt upright.

"Oh no we are not!" How could he? Was he being serious?

"No, we aren't. But I had to say something to get you interested. It's better than you staring at yourself in the back of a spoon all night. I mean, you already know you're gorgeous." He said with a big grin on his face. Why I could just... kiss him. But not here. Besides, he'd also unwittingly caught James's attention. And Meggie Weggies.

"Aw, what are you two going as? It's so nice of you Sirius to take Lily. Heavens knows you could take any other girl but you were so kind." Blood boiling. Getting angry. Mary was smirking. James was shocked. Sirius looked peeved. She was completely oblivious. "Jamesie and I are going as a Knight and a Princess. I already have two costumes picked out."

"I have to er... leave." I said, getting up. "Mary? We have to er, you know"

"Right, of course. Yes. Bye." James looked up at us with pleading eyes. Hah, serves him right for having an annoying girlfriend. Let's go. Merlin knows how I'm going to get through tomorrow night if this was how Meggie Weggie was going to act. As soon as we were out of the hall, Mary burst into laughter.

"Christ, you should have seen the look on yours and Sirius's faces when she said that!" Yes Mary, I was aware that I was peeved. "If looks could kill..." She would have been dead the moment I first saw her and James together. "Do you think we should have left Sirius there?"

"He'll deal with it." My tone was startlingly snappy.

"Lily, are you OK?" Was I? I couldn't have it both ways. I wasn't allowed Sirius and James at the same time. I wasn't allowed James at all. So why did it bother me so much? I had Sirius so it shouldn't bother me.

"I... I just don't like Megan I guess." Understatement. Mary obviously understood because a second after I said it, I felt her arm around me. I looked up at her, "I like him, Mary. What am I going to do? I like him but I like Sirius. I have Sirius but I want James." I sighed as we carried on walking.

"You're really stuck between a rock and a hard place." She's telling me! Perhaps now Mary knew the truth about where my feelings lay, she might be a little more helpful. "Has he made any move?"

"No. Well not really. He's just been spending a little more time being more polite recently. There hasn't been much else." I didn't forget about the other night when he came after me. He seemed in control of his actions though and maybe I was just over thinking it. Of course he'd be concerned for his best mate.

"And you still like Sirius?"

"More than ever."

"Well then, there's nothing more to do. Unless James makes a move, which he won't do once he knows you're with Sirius, then I think it's safe to say that there is no harm in being with Sirius."

"What about Megan?"

"Lily, unless James knows you are truly interested, he isn't going to get rid of her very soon." I was looking and feeling glum. Why did I feel so guilty being with Sirius, well Mary had just answered my question in so many words. While I was with Sirius, there would be no reason to moon over James. "Let's just get tomorrow out of the way shall we and then we can worry about your feelings." Mary laughed, "Only you Lily. Only you."

"Speaking of marauders, Remus asked you out?" It was her turn to blush. I knew something had gone on between them. Just yesterday Mary wasn't looking forward to the dance and now it was almost all she could talk about. We'd just reached the common room so we flopped on one of the plush sofas in front of the fire.

"Yes." I spill all my feelings to her and all I receive is a one word answer. Not good enough Mary MacDonald. I cleared my throat to gain her attention. "What?"

"Don't say what, spill. What happened? How did it happen? When? How did I miss this?" Seriously, how did I miss it? I was sure... wait just one minute... "You cheeky... How did you... Do you know what? I don't care. I just can't believe you didn't tell me sooner." Mary just laughed.

"Oh, stop grumbling Lily. I'm going upstairs to practice doing my hair. I found this really helpful charm, just point and... well I hasn't worked so far." I rolled my eyes, "Hence the practice. You coming to help?" That sounds like riveting fun. Just what I always wanted to do with my Friday night.

"Actually, I have a letter that I've been meaning to send to my mum. She might start to worry soon so I better go and post it." She just wanted gossip. I'm sure the only thing she wanted more than gossip was for me to have a love life. That would explain the 'dates' she used to set me up on in the summer holidays. Well, hopefully this gossip should satisfy her until my mid twenties. "I'll just pop to the owlery and I'll be right up OK?"

"Sure thing. Tell your mum 'hi' from me."

I hated the owlery. It was always full of poo and dead bits of animal. Also, it was the most freezing place on earth and when it was really windy, I was sure I could feel it sway. Anyway, apart from freezing my butt off and getting poo all over my shoes, it didn't help that I found the owls quite scary. I think it was irrational because these owls were perfectly trained. Why couldn't wizards use a different form of post.

I'd just finished tying my letter to one of the school owls legs when a beautiful eagle owl came swooping down from the rafters. Yes it was beautiful but it also scared the hell out of me.

"Holy Merlin, what the hell?" Well it surprised me! I heard a chuckle coming from the direction of the door. I turned. Mistake. My breath caught in my throat when I saw who it was. "James?"

"The one and only. Sorry, did Albert scare you?" Remove shocked look from face. Check hair with hands. Smooth down skirt. Wait... Albert?

"Albert? Who calls an owl Albert?" he chuckled again. Oh dear lord stop doing that! My legs could go to jelly you know!

"Me." Simple. "Bertie for short." Bertie? As in the beans? Now I know he was going crazy.

"Bertie isn't shorter."

"I know." Pause. Awkward? Maybe I'm just making it awkward? "I better post this. My mum... she'll be expecting gossip." Mothers! What are they like?

"Mine too. Hopefully this gossip will shut her up for a while." He was tying his own letter to Berties outstretched leg.

"Something juicy?" Wouldn't you like to know? I stayed silent just watching him. Stalker much? His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows revealing his lean, muscular forearms. "I want to apologise."

"What for? What have you done this time?" I was laughing, was I flirting? He chuckled again.

"No, no. I want to apologise for what Megan said at dinner. She was out of order." Oh that.

"It's OK. Really. She was just voicing the same thoughts that every other girl in Hogwarts is having." Yeah, those being 'Why her?' Mine being the same.

"I'm heading back to the common room, you coming." He held the door open.

"Sure, this place smells and I'm in need of warming up." I swear I heard him mumble something along the lines of 'I could warm you up' under his breath. Back in the corridor, I asked James something I didn't think I would ask him. Ever. "Is everything alright with you and Megan?" he didn't answer straight away, instead taking some time to think.

"Things are fine... We're fine. She doesn't really like the guys though." And they don't like her. "I'm bored of having to spend all my time with her and her friends. Whatever happened to lives outside?" I had no idea what to say without looking like a jealous little girl. "I don't think Sirius likes her much." He said glumly. Hey, you're not wrong. We were nearing the Gryffindor tower now. "Lily, I really am sorry for what she said earlier. She had no right."

"James, honestly it's fine." Lily, shut up, you're talking rubbish!

"I'm glad Sirius is taking you. I'd rather him than anyone else." Now who's sounding like the jealous little boy. He stopped just before the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"James, I'd rather go with-"

"I know it makes me sound like I'm jealous. I am." You're what? "If I can't take you to the dance, then I'm glad Sirius is." You want to go to the dance with me? "You don't know how hard it is when the likes of Benjy Fenwick ask you out." Hard eh? What were you ready to do? "I thought I was going to punch him when he was trying to ask you the other night." Are you reading my mind? "I care about you Lily." No. Not reading my mind. Hey, what? You care about me? He looked down to the floor. I definitely wasn't expecting what he said next. "You have poo on your shoe."

I looked down, "Ah crap." We laughed.

"My sentiments exactly. Here, let me." He knelt down and picked up my foot. His hand was warm on my skin. He pulled out his wand and cleaned my shoe. But he didn't put my foot back down. He was thinking about something, his face had a pained expression on it. His hand ran up my calf. Oh Merlin I'm going to fall over if you don't get up right now.

"James." I whispered hoarsely. His hand stopped. I put my foot back to the floor. He was still kneeling so I knelt to join him. "James?" He looked up. Our eyes met.

"I'm so sorry Lily." I was about to say 'what for' when a voice interrupted our thoughts.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Sirius. That knocked some sense into my head. I stood up and James followed my lead.

"James was just cleaning my shoe for me." I smiled brightly, "Hey, I have to go help Mary perform a charm. Something about hair. We must look beautiful for the dance." It wasn't that I wanted to be away from Sirius. I wanted to be away from male company. As I skipped through the portrait hole, I heard Sirius ask,

"Cleaning her shoe?"

"Yeah, she stepped in owl shit." The laughter I could still hear when I reached the girls staircase. Urgh, Men!