Note 1: This is only my second fanfiction work. Please read and review. I hope you guys enjoy this venture into this Verse.
Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.
Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.
Note 4: Thank you to my beta reader TACAitsH. Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors! You are awesome.
Soul's Scars
Chapter 4: Fruits of Labor
By: WrittinInStone
Anakin floated through the blue light, allowing it to carry him where it would. As he drifted, he reflected on the kiss that he and Padmé had shared. Kissing her had been as good as he remembered in life; passion had ripped through his body and rejuvenated his soul. He was dead but he didn't feel dead. He felt alive, more alive than he had felt in twenty-three years.
Anakin pulled his thoughts away from his wife as he began to slow down. He smiled as he realized he experienced no anxiety at what he would face, nothing could hurt him now; he had Padmé. As the blue light faded, Anakin realized that he was in what looked like a city. It's Cloud City, Anakin thought as he stopped, amazed at what he saw. The people were celebrating; they were behaving as though they had lost their minds. It looked as though the entire city was in the streets, dancing and singing and screaming freedom. Anakin's forehead crinkled in consternation as he was transported to Tatooine, then to Naboo, and then to Coruscant.
Every city was so different in their cultures, so different in their values, yet on this day, they were all the same. They all sang, they all danced and they all celebrated their liberation from the Empire.
Anakin watched, his heart in turmoil, as the Galaxy rejoiced at the fall of the institution that he himself had helped to establish. He had believed the Emperor's lies so long ago, had wanted to believe them, had thought that he would bring peace to the Galaxy by destroying the Jedi and the Separatists. But how could that be when so many celebrated his death, celebrated the Emperor's death?
Anakin let out a deep breath as he remembered that it was he who had destroyed the Emperor. Did that mean that the Galaxy was unknowingly celebrating him? Did the Galaxy know that it had been him, Anakin Skywalker formerly known as Darth Vader, who had destroyed Darth Sidious's evil?
Anakin tried to calm his chaotic emotions as he felt himself being pulled to yet another place. Anakin gazed at his surroundings as he arrived. This place was different; it had no technology and seemed to be dense with trees. It's Endor, Anakin realized, it's the forest moon of Endor. Anakin tensed as he felt himself being let down gently. He moved his body and realized that he was in control. It was now his choice to continue or not.
Anakin hesitated and then moved forward as the blue light began to fade completely. Suddenly Anakin paused, a cold chill running down his body. He felt something, a presence he had not felt in many, many years. "Yoda," Anakin whispered. He stopped as he immediately picked up on another presence. "Obi-Wan." They were here; they were in this place.
Anakin looked back in the direction he had come; he could leave now and if he was in the Gray, it was possible that they would never know that he had been here. He could go back to Padmé, continue his journey on the River of Scars and not face neither Yoda nor Obi-Wan. But he was a Jedi; he knew he was better than that. He had not been a coward in life, and he would not be one now in death.
Taking a death breath, Anakin stepped out of the blue light. The presence of Yoda and Obi-Wan strengthened immediately, and he glanced at the two Jedi as he appeared next to them. Anakin smiled at them tentatively, noticing the knowing smile that passed between Yoda and Obi-Wan. Anakin felt himself relax as they returned his smile; they obviously knew what he had done, and they were pleased. He knew that it would take more than defeating the Emperor to make things right between himself and the Jedi Masters, but for this moment, it was enough. More at ease, Anakin turned his attention to the celebration before him.
Luke, Anakin thought, a cascade of emotion building within him, it's my son. Luke was leaning against a tree, looking directly at him, smiling, as though even in this young form, he knew who his father was. Anakin returned Luke's smile, his heart full of pride. He did it, Anakin thought, he did what I was unable to do; he resisted the Dark Side. Anakin watched as Leia, his daughter, went to Luke and pulled him close, smiling into his face.
Luke glanced once more at the three of them before allowing his sister to pull him back to the celebration. Anakin head lifted slightly as he watched the people celebrate. He recognized people he had interacted with while alive. Han Solo, the smuggler whom he had tortured, Lando Calrissian, whom he had blackmailed in an attempt to capture his son, and even his daughter, whom he had tortured by using a mind probe on her; a procedure that was known for its pain and brutality.
Anakin's joy faded as his sorrow returned. He had done so much wrong to people who had not deserved it, even to his own children. He had helped to bring this revolution to pass, but only in his need to save his son. As he watched the smiles, the dancing, the joy, Anakin's sorrow increased. He did not belong here; this joy belonged to the ones who had truly worked to end it, not to him.
Turning away from the celebration, Anakin closed his eyes and allowed himself to fade away. He opened them as he found himself once again in the blue light, being taken back to the River.
"Anakin! Anakin, wait!"
Anakin turned at the sound of his name and there stood Obi-Wan, smiling at him.
"Obi-Wan." Anakin paused, unsure of what to say. What could he say to the man that he had killed?
"Anakin." Obi-Wan said with a warm smile.
Anakin's stomach clenched. Obi-Wan looked so happy standing there, repeating his name, as though merely saying the name 'Anakin' confirmed that his Jedi friend was alive once more.
Anakin looked his old Master in the face. "Hello, Obi-Wan."
"Hello." Obi-Wan hesitated and then continued, "I…I would very much like to speak with you, Anakin."
Anakin turned his back to Obi-Wan, his head moving slightly to the left. "Now is not the time for us to speak, Obi-Wan, but I suspect the time for doing so will be upon us soon."
"Very well." Obi-Wan paused, "It was very, very good seeing you again, my old friend. Very good indeed."
A lump in his throat, Anakin nodded. He started back to the River of Scars without speaking again, feeling Obi-Wan's presence fading as he walked further away from Endor. Was there something in the water here? How could Obi-Wan be so happy to see him?
Anakin suspected the answer as to why they were so willing to forgive him. Obi-Wan thought that 'Anakin Skywalker' was back now that he had fulfilled the prophecy and destroyed the Sith. But Anakin knew that Darth Vader was still there, lingering just below the surface. Darth Vader had always been a part of him, had always been present in his heart. Vader had first appeared on Tatooine when his mother had been killed. After he had slaughtered the village of the Sand People, Darth Vader had rested until Anakin had needed him once more to destroy the Jedi. Now, his loved ones were so happy to see him because they were so sure that he was different, so ready to forgive him his sins because they thought that Anakin had returned to them; yet he alone knew the horrible truth. He was not different at all, he was the same; Vader was still alive and well in the darkness of his heart.
Anakin sighed as he finally reached the door through whence he had come. He was glad he was there; it suddenly felt like coming home because he knew that Padmé was there; she would soothe the ache in his soul. As Anakin stepped into the boat, fear stuttered through his heart; Padmé was not there.
"Padmé!" Anakin yelled, looking around frantically, his voice echoing off the water. But there was nothing but gray, nothing but an endless stretch of still water.
"Padmé!" Anakin screamed feeling as though his heart would explode, "Padmé where are you?"
Silence answered him. Anakin sat down helplessly as anger began to rise. "No," he whispered, "this can't be happening." Where was Padmé? She had said that she would be here, she had promised.
Anakin took calming breaths as he felt a familiar darkness rise within his heart. "No!" He said aloud, "No. I will not allow you entrance again, Vader. I will not."
Anakin jerked as the boat began to move forward. "Wait, no, we can't leave yet! We must wait for Padmé!" His cries went unheeded as the boat continued to move forward.
Anakin sat down heavily and wrapped his arms around himself as he began to give in despair. "Padmé," he gasped, pain radiating through his body. "Oh, Padmé, where are you?"
He sat like that for what seemed like hours as the boat moved. When it finally stopped, Anakin sat motionless for a moment longer before standing. He did not care where he was, or what was before him. All he cared about was the fact that Padmé had been taken away from him.
Without any preamble, Anakin entered the light. He walked until the blue light faded, unafraid of where it would lead. Anakin's curiosity piqued for a moment and then disappeared when he saw that he was on Naboo. He closed his eyes and cleared his mind of all thoughts, willing his pain to go away as he allowed the light to guide him. When he was placed gently on the ground, he opened his eyes to see where he was. He was at the Lake House, where he and Padmé had been married.
His eyes widened as he suddenly felt the presence he had so desperately been seeking. "Padmé!" He yelled. He quickly ran toward the presence. "Padmé." He said with a huge sigh of relief. She sat on a bench, facing away from him, much as she had been the first time he had seen her in the Gray.
"Padmé," Anakin said in concern, "Why did you leave, why didn't you answer me when I called for you? I was worried." His voice was raw with relief; he had found her; she was safe.
Anakin frowned when Padmé did not answer. "Padmé? What's wrong?"
He moved in front of her, and then froze at what he saw. Padmé's gaze was turned down and she was staring at what was in her hands. She was holding what looked to be a HoloNet news pod; but instead of playing any type of news, it was playing his life, showing her the things he had done as Vader; to the citizens of the former Republic, to their children.
"Padmé." Anakin began, fear abounding in his heart whilst wondering how she had gotten there and whohad given her such a device, "I can explain."
Finally, Padmé looked up to face him and he could tell that she had been crying. The knowledge was like a punch to the stomach. Her red eyes gleamed with fury as she spoke. "You can explain? You can explain why you tortured our daughter and why you cut off our son's arm? You can explain that?"
"Padmé, please." Anakin begged, "I…I don't know what you want me to say. I can't…I can't give you what you want."
"I think I know that, Anakin." Padmé said quietly, "Just answer me this, how could you?"
"Padmé, I love you so much." Anakin said desperately, avoiding her question. He closed his eyes, praying to the Force with all his heart that this was a bad dream, "I need you, Padmé, you have no idea how much I need you. I lov—"
"How, Anakin?" She said, her voice rising as she stood to her feet. "How could you do these things?"
"I…" Anakin couldn't continue because he could give her no reason that would ease her pain. If he told her that he had shown their son mercy, she would laugh at him. He could tell her that it had been Darth Vader and not Anakin Skywalker who had done those things, but he would not lie to her. It had been Anakin Skywalker; Anakin had been there all along.
How could he tell Padmé that not only had he tried to turn Luke to the Dark Side, but had threatened to turn his daughter to the Dark Side as well? And of his own volition too? She would despise him and he would be forced to watch the love fade from her eyes. He knew that watching her love die would destroy him far worse than the fires of Mustafar, it would hurt worse than the Force-lightning of the Emperor; it would destroy his soul. So Anakin said nothing, feeling as though he were moments away from being pushed over the edge of a cliff and falling into oblivion.
Padmé stared at him, her tear-filled eyes beseeching him for an answer, any answer that would redeem him in her eyes. And as Anakin saw the hope die in their depths, he felt it die in his heart.
End of Chapter 4: I hoped you guys liked this, if you did, please review.
5th Chapter: Soul's Scars: Padmé confronts Anakin.