Gone Too Far
Part IV
Disclaimer: Not mine
Ingredients (aka Warning): Dark matters, implications and a particularly twisted bout of logic.
Italics: can indicate either flashbacks
Or represent the true content of what is being said
Knocking softly, drawing a deep breath and Kurogane pushed the door open. Mentally steeling himself for everything, but finding a clean, friendly room filled by sunlight and a happy voice greeting him.
"Good morning Kuro-rin. Or is it already afternoon?"
And he froze, eyes widening in disbelief. Propped upon pillows, looking far too-pale his comrade was smiling like he had not a care in the world. As if nothing was wrong, as if nothing had ever happened.
"Kuro-mu?"
He couldn't say a word.
Sparkling blue eyes blinked in mock-confusion and all seemed perfectly normal. The situation disconnected from previous events; no strings attached at all – Kurogane's stomach plummeted down from those airy heights of reality-mutilation. Pretence made him sick.
Fai had raised it to an art; the way he was disregarding the fact that both his hands were bandaged thickly beyond any use, hiding another bloody bandage beneath silky golden hair and ignored that there might be a past connected to the status quo, a reason for the snow-white colour of his face and incapability to do more than lying down. The display was as grande as it was disconcerting.
It made Kurogane want to cry.
"Kuro-"
"What happened?" ,he asked rather breathlessly.
"Oh, Yuuko-chan took care of me, I think, but then I wouldn't really know. But you were awake, weren't you, Kuro-pu? Your eyes are bloodshot, that gives you away, you know."
As if everything was normal. Not a crack visible in this happy mask, indicating just how strong that damnable thing truly was. If last night's events hadn't even left a dent, the ninja didn't want to know what had been needed for it to come into existence.
What had been needed for it to crack.
What was hidden beneath.
Frightening.
Closing his eyes, Kurogane cleared his throat noisily. "No, before. Last night."
Something flashed within those eyes; a horribly dangerous, razor-sharp intelligence showed through the carefree façade – long enough to be recognized, long enough to make the ninja shudder.
Long enough for him to understand, that this was an intentional slip-up – a warning.
Then the silly smile again.
"Oh, but doesn't Kuro-pan remember? Did Kuro-chan get too drunk? Too black?"
And the magician dissolved in a fit of beautifully artificial giggles.
(silly pun: "black" as synonym for drunk and "kuro" translates into black.)
Obviously this approach was useless when the magician tried to enforce denial. Well, it was one thing if the wizard wanted to ignore problems; however the matter also pertained Kurogane and he wasn't about to let it rest. Perhaps being blunt about it didn't equal the best possible resolution – actually his gut was protesting loudly; the wizard's smile was quite thin – but the prospect of danger had never deterred the ninja before.
"Why did you thank me?"
And all of a sudden, blond hair hid cerulean eyes from view, obscuring the upper half of the wizard's face completely. The lazy smile lingered, but the melodic voice carried a hint of ice.
"For trying to defy hitsuzen."
It summoned memories of calm smiles in the middle of dire battles; nonchalance towards life-threatening situations and supported the overall message of: "Don't mess with me!"
Another purposefully controlled crack in the mask.
And perhaps the wizard was being honest. Honest because he knew that Kurogane lacked his and Yuuko's intimate understanding of hitsuzen.
Implications.
Inevitable happenings; something beyond even their mission. Hitsuzen as what was meant to be, as something Kurogane hadn't ever thought of before encountering the witch.
The power to travel between dimensions.
The king sealed underneath icy waters.
Kurogane's senses warned him; reminded him that his opponent was dangerous – and completely unpredictable. The façade betrayed no clues; none that weren't meant to be seen – and those he held formed a sinister picture that contrasted sharply with the happy-go-lucky personality he had come to knew.
And while Kurogane had taken done many a formidable opponent, he felt weary of this one. Hints of frightening ruthlessness, obscenely powerful magic and incredible willpower.
Backing of seemed like the best strategy at the moment, the ninja decided. Years of experience told him to leave the matter be for now – there was nothing to indicate that he wouldn't be the next one to end up magically endorsed underwater somewhere.
"Un. And everything's fine now?"
Then the ominous smile turned sugary-sweet once more. Withdrawal had not gone unnoticed.
"Peachy, Kuro-mun – look, it's such a pretty day outside. Who could sulk there? I bet even a big bad guy like you is smiling on the inside – you're just too shy to admit it, ne?"
Silliness all the way. Whatever else might have occurred was a closed matter, not open for discussion.
Grumbling, Kurogane turned away, insides clenched and twisted; muttering one loudly audible "Idiot" before leaving the room.
Sighing, Kurogane shuffled into the kitchen of their small house, sinking heavily into one of the chairs and stared at the fridge, contemplating the bygone hours.
In the end the turn things had taken had been rather unexpected. Yet, truly, Kurogane hadn't been surprised. Only confused, upset and angry, although he couldn't even pinpoint the exact cause of his frustrations.
There was guilt clawing at him, reprimanding him for overlooking the obvious, his inability to provide protection when necessary. The glaring miscalculation served only as the cherry on top. His hands were still shaking from shock, but Fai had dismissed the entire matter; forgone a perfect, gullible opening.
Until there everything had been clear; the guilt, the responsibility – but somewhere between Fai passing out in his arms and waking up something fundamental had changed.
And somehow this made Kurogane furious. Anger about pointless violence, that he could understand. Emotional instability and every consequence he could bear, no matter how strong – he was still under the impression that old wounds had been reopened with the magician.
When those vile words had been said, when Kurogane had spoken of hate and shouted at the wizard to leave – the façade had wavered. And that alone would have been a feat to achieve for any ordinary person. But not so the god-forsaken magician, who…
Well, no use trying to deflect the blame there, the ninja admitted to himself. His harsh words had drawn blood, just as he had hoped to, but to an completely other end. A reaction, an honest reaction had been what he wanted; no more fake personalities. Fai then had looked betrayed. To him, whatever sort of fragile trust he had established towards Kurogane had been shattered – especially with everything that had happened later on.
His personal demons were having a feast.
But the way Fai'd just slapped the mask back on, insisted on pretending that nothing ever happened. While subtly hinting at greater things involved.
Pure rubbish, if anybody cared for the ninja's opinion.
How often had he seen court nobles forgetting the reality beneath their feet while trying to achieve some "higher" goal. Practically the same fault he saw with Fai and the Dimension Witch – both somehow managed to loose every regard for the present – in spite to their vehement claims of the contrary – when faced with "hitsuzen".
And even if their behaviour was perfectly justified and Kurogane just didn't understand enough about hitsuzen – it remained a stupid waste of lifetime.
Perhaps he would one day convince the wizard to let go of that façade and try worrying about himself instead about the fate of dimensions.
This matter, Kurogane vowed to himself, isn't resolved.
"Yuuko-chan, to what do I owe the honour?"
"Hitsuzen."
"I overheard a very interesting conversation – and I'm not amused."
"Ah, I see."
"I do understand your point perfectly well. But so you do mine."
Both were smiling tightly, the air between them frosting with tension. No stranger would have noted anything amiss; they were expert players at this particular game.
"Now, do you?"
"I won't take kindly to trifling with hitsuzen. Too much is at stake. Be aware there will be grave consequences."
Not a muscle twitched under the witch's pensive stare.
"Hitsuzen…" , Fai mused, as if contemplating the term for the first time. Then the smile widened, turned slightly sinister.
"Hitsuzen is that all begun must end.
All that lives must die.
All that sleeps must awake."
"I'm not too fond of Hitsuzen, obviously, so don't count on unconditional support from my side. However, beyond that the decision is not entirely my own to make as you know perfectly well."
And downstairs Kurogane sneezed.
THE END
Questions? Comments? Critic? Random thoughts?
And lastly, thanks to all readers and reviewers. I apologize for the long wait and perhaps the last chapter doesn't explain it all. Actually, I've taken a couple of ideas from this fic and played with them a bit in "Hidden under a Smile". Gonna post it right now... -