As Long As You're Mine
Dirty Boys
Xander couldn't think. He wouldn't allow himself to. He couldn't remember all the memories that came rushing back. He pushed them out of his mind as he sipped his drink and smiled at his friends, this one much weaker than all the others at the house. "Let's dance!" Oz and Willow looked away from each other. Buffy shrugged. "I'll go." Xander smiled at her and held out a hand to take hers. They looked back at the couple. Willow smiled at them. "I think we'll take the next Soul Train, you guys go boogie we'll guard the table!" Oz looked at her. "This is a really good table." She smiled, beaming at him. "I had to kill a man." Oz nodded. "Really good table." They smiled softly at each other and Xander pulled Buffy away before he started vomiting, or crying. They danced. The music swirled around Xander, ran through his veins. He didn't know the song, barely even heard the beat. He was moving to his own. Dancing away the memories that threatened to drown him. He didn't know how long he was there, it could've been hours or it could've been minutes but soon Buffy told him she was thirsty and made her way back to the table. He was alone, again. He didn't mind though. Because Angel was here, standing in front of him. Dark eyes boring into his own.
Xander shut his eyes and danced. Of course it wasn't Angel. He wasn't an idiot. It was just a hallucination, brought on my grief or wishful thinking. But it didn't stop him from dancing. He let himself believe Angel was here dancing with him. Holding him, grinding against him, growling sexual comments into his ears. Then suddenly someone really was holding him, grinding into him. "May I cut in?" The voice whispered, the man's cold breathe running down Xander's neck, sending shivers down his spine giving him goose bumps. The voice alone made Xander sizzle. The accent that played on every syllable helped, Xander loved a man with an accent. He turned around and smiled coyly up into the bluest eyes he'd ever seen in his life. They bore into his own and it took all the strength he possessed to pull away from the trance he'd fallen into in order to look at the rest of the man. The blondest hair he'd ever seen was styled back but a single curl had fallen out of place letting Xander know what this man's hair really looked like under all the gel. If it was tousled, if Xander ran his fingers through it, then he knew those curls would fall out making the man even sexier. Soft small ears that looked completely biteable, sharp perfect cheekbones that made all the Greek gods Xander had ever seen statues of look like Wal-Mart cashiers. And lips. Soft, perfect, and Xander wanted them, he wanted to possess them, wanted to feel them form that completely sexual smirk against his own. Xander blinked startled at his own thoughts. "See something you like pet?" Xander glanced back taking in the man in his entirety. Black outift, bad guy.
'Damn' Xander cursed mentally. He was too sexy to be evil. Xander smirked, echoing the man's face as he saw that the man was glancing down Xander's body. Xander was so glad he'd chosen an outfit that fit him like paint, flattering the body he hadn't even worked to attain. "Obviously you did." The man glanced quickly back into Xander's face, carefully avoiding his eyes. He chuckled slightly and Xander felt his body light on fire at the sound. How could someone affect him like this? The man nodded. "M'still seeing it. Care to dance?" Xander smiled again. "I thought we were dancing." The man shook his head, mumbling something to himself that Xander couldn't catch. He stepped closer and allowed the music to flow for a second before catching Xander's hips and grinding him close. Xander didn't know the song, didn't care, it didn't matter. He kept his face focused on the man as they moved as one, dancing to the beat. "What's your name kitten?" Xander smirked coyly up at the man. "What do you want it to be?" The man clenched his teeth in obvious arousal. Xander smiled to himself that he could provoke such a reaction in a man so utterly sexy. "Xander." The man's eyes widened and then narrowed into an intense gaze. "Xander." Xander's breath caught at the sound of this man, this utter stranger, saying his name. Worshipping his name, letting the sound of it roll from his tongue, caressing his name with that mouth. The man's mouth went from an almost shocked look to a smirk. He ran his tongue over his teeth, curling it behind them, leering. The leer brought Xander back to reality, halting the fantasies that were fluttering about. The man leaned closer as if to kiss Xander, then he spun him around. He pulled Xander back, flush against him. His cold breath sent shivers down Xanders neck and he shuddered visibly causing the man to chuckle. The vibrations made Xander shudder again in pleasure. " M'name's Spike." Xander growled softly, "Spike." Spike growled into Xander's ear. This was turning into a dangerous game. A dangerous plan. "Xander." Spike whispered in his ear, allowing his tongue to run along the outer rim of Xander's ear, blowing softly. Xander groaned and ground his body back into Spike. Spike closed his eyes, gritting his teeth, and grabbed onto Xander's hips to stop his movement. "You're playing with fire pet." He allowed one of his cool hands to slip under Xander's shirt to let Xander feel his skins temperature. He wanted Xander to know.
Xander's eyes widened at the cool hand stroking his back slightly. Cool, in this heat? In the middle of the dance floor full of people? Just like.."Angel." Xander froze. He could still remember the night he'd found out what Angel was. He'd known before everyone else The first time they'd kissed, right here on this dance floor. "Xander..." He closed his eyes feeling Angel's cold lips brushing over him, his cold tongue invading this mouth as his cold hands roamed his body. "You're cold," Xander had whispered looking up into bright yellow eyes. Angel growled and stormed off into the alley. They'd fought. "Xander?"
He opened his eyes to see Spike's blue eyes, 'so blue,' he thought, so different from the dark eyes of his former lover, the complete opposite. The gaze he saw was not the dark gaze that froze his soul, instead it was full of life, concern, and a sparkle of something else that smoldered deep within. These eyes drew him in when Angel's had cast him out. These filled him with a warmth that was so different from the cold he'd felt whenever Angel's gaze had pierced his heart, like an icicle that went right through him. Then cold hands caressed his cheek. A soft caress, not the sharp blow Xander was so used to. His flinch was unnecessary, it only caused the concern to become more prominent in Spike's eyes. Spike leaned close. So close that Xander could feel his cool breath on his lips. "I can fix you." Spike whispered so softly that Xander might have been imagining it. Then he kissed him. It was soft, tender, passionate, so different. These vampires, these men, were so different. It was brief. It could have only lasted seconds, like a soft breeze on a summer's day, but it warmed Xander's hollow heart to a temperature that he'd never thought possible. How could a stranger thaw a heart that had long frozen? Xander craved more. The sparks flowing through his veins were too harsh, too bright, too new, and utterly perfect. He needed more. He grabbed Spike's head, crushing their mouths together. Sparks. Big flashes of light that played behind his eyes, jolting his heart. It made him feel so...alive. This hollow shell of Xander Harris was filling up to the brim with something caused by this stranger. Spike pulled back and looked into Xander's eyes. Those large slate blue eyes were full of smoldering lust and Xander licked his lips at the thought of it. He could taste the bitter whiskey and yet underneath a sweet brown sugar flavor that was so different from the ashes that Angel tasted of. "Call me when you're ready to burn pet." And with that he turned and strode off into the dark shadows leaving Xander cold in his wake, longing for the fire that was a vampire named Spike.