Disclaimer: I still don't own it…. And my heart is torn.

Gold Hair and Lightning

Ch.4: Hurting Hearts

4 Months later….

Rose was in her fifth month and absolutely miserable. She had gotten bigger. You could definitely tell that she was pregnant now. And ignored. The Doctor hardly spoke to her anymore. The only person she really talked to was the TARDIS.

The pregnant woman felt completely alienated. Her mother wasn't talking to her, the Doctor wasn't talking to her, and Mickey…. Oh Mickey.

He had called Rose about 5 days after she had told her mom. She didn't think he was ever going to stop yelling at her. Despite the fact that they had broken up, he still harbored feelings for her and this baby sent him into a state of shock, and then pure anger. He had yelled for a good 10 minutes before hanging up on her like she said something offensive to him.

And now all of the sudden, almost every planet they went to seemed to be dominated by beautiful women. And not your average beautiful, but the drop dead stunning kind of beautiful.

Now Rose spent most of her time in her room, sinking deeper into depression. At the moment, she was sitting on her bed, her thoughts taking her all over the place. Then they all came to a screeching halt that reverberated through her head and left her reeling for a moment.

They stopped on the Doctor and tears leaked out of Rose's eyes before she even knew she was going to cry. She started thinking about the old Doctor, about his kind, soulful face, his laugh, his smile.

His love. Rose remembered the way her old Doctor treated her, how he loved her. A sob escaped her lips and she buried her face in her hands. She missed him so much right now. In essence, the new Doctor was still the same person. Same memories, same knowledge. But he was a different man. With his own ways and wants.

Rose cried even harder as she thought about her old Doctor. He would have never done this to her. Never. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Look at all he did for her! He had saved her countless times. He comforted her when she was upset. And back at the game station, he sent her home. His only way out of there and he used it to make sure she was safe.

He had absorbed the Time Vortex for her! He had taken his own life to save hers! This brought a fresh wave of tears cascading down Rose's face.

Now she would give anything to go back to that day, let him live and her die. 'It would be better than this.' She thought miserably.

The Doctor sighed and tore his eyes away from the screen. Rose was crying.

He had thought she had moved past her weepy stage. 'Not that you had any hand in that.' His mind supplied. Growling in frustration, he jumped from his chair and began pacing the room. He had to remind himself why he was being so cold and distant to her from time to time. It could be hard.

His first instinct when he saw her crying was to rush in there, gather her in his arms, and smother her with affection until she was smiling again. But he swallowed the urge.

After all, she had taken advantage of him at his most vulnerable. She misused his trust. He figured she could handle the predicament she got herself into without his interference. He was hoping that by now, his distance and coldness would make her go fleeing back to London.

The TARDIS wouldn't deny her if she wanted to go back home. He wasn't aware of the current situation with her mother, but then again, he never asked.

The Doctor threw himself back into the pilot's seat and sulked. He had been a father before. But he lost his children in the Time War. He lived a dangerous life, and to put a child through that, he almost didn't see the point. He sighed in frustration.

A small noise startled him and he saw Rose walk in with red eyes, then shuffle across the grated floor of the TARDIS control room.

He tried not to let his gaze drop to her pregnant belly, but his eyes seemed to travel there on their own accord. His hearts leapt this time, not just twitched, when he saw her inflated stomach. He didn't want to feel anything about it.

"Rose, I think I should take you to see Jackie." The Doctor commented casually. A dark look washed over Rose's face. He sighed inside his head. He had intended to take her home and hopefully she would want to stay.

"No thank you." Rose replied coolly.

"Why not?" he questioned. "You haven't seen her in awhile."

"Just leave it alright? I don't want to." She said through gritted teeth. The Doctor let out a mocking laugh.

"Oh come on Rose! Don't be so ridiculous. It's your bloody mum!"

Rose's eyes flashed dangerously and she marched towards the Doctor. "It's your bloody ridiculousness that got me into this circumstance that caused my bloody mum to hate me!" she shouted, flinging his words back at him.

Now the Doctor's eyes flashed. "Oh my bloody ridiculousness? I wasn't the one to take you to bed when you were drunk!"

Rose took a step closer. "And I wasn't the one who came babbling and crying to you asking you to help me forget! "

The angry man laughed again, louder this time. "Oh Rose Tyler, you are a laugh. An enormous laugh. You took pity on the poor drunk time lord and slept with him. You are such a saint, Saint Rose." He mocked, sweeping into an elaborate bow.

"I was trying to help you!" she shouted, hurt. She didn't dare tell him that she had done it also because she loved him, and couldn't stand to see him suffering.

"Well you really helped a lot, thank you" he remarked sarcastically. Rose screamed. She actually screamed and grabbed her hair. The Doctor was startled.

"I haven't done a thing to you!" Rose shouted once her screaming had abated. "You never want to talk to me, and when you do, you're a downright arse! Why can't you be civilized, just for a moment?"

The startled look on the Doctor's face contorted into one of fury. "Then why don't you just go home" he screamed.

At this Rose's face crumpled and tears cascaded down her cheeks. "'Cause this is all I have now. It's all I've got. My mum told me not to step a foot in the Powell Estate for the time being. Mickey hates me so much right now, he can't even stand the sound of my voice. I-I'm alone right now. I ain't got a home." Rose felt like she was bordering closely on the over-dramatic edge as she fled the control room, but her out-of-whack hormones didn't give her a minute to care.

The Doctor sank down into the pilot's seat in a shocked silence. Seeing Rose cry like that in front of him had done something to him. His heart's hurt. He placed a hand over his chest and hung his head. 'What have I done?' he mused.

He took a moment to settle himself before he got back up. "A checkup." He declared. "She needs to get a checkup……Torchwood. Jack." The Doctor allowed a small smile to grace his lips.

He gave it several hours before he went in search of Rose. He found her in her bedroom, staring at the wall. He cleared his throat and she turned towards him, a wary look on her face. The brown haired man attempted a smile, but he got none in return.

"Umm I've set up an appointment for you tomorrow at Torchwood. Jack's gonna be there." This was the first time he had seen Rose smile in ages. Well what felt like ages.

She nodded her head and turned back to the wall, her smile still in place. The Doctor grimaced. He smile used to be so bright and vibrant.

He sighed. "Well, I guess we can head there now." He turned and made his way to the control room, not bothering to wait for her response. Maybe Jack could cheer her up.

END CHAPTER

I want to thank everyone for reviewing! You guys are amazing!!

Well I'll have the next installment up soon! So don't be bovvered.

OH!!! And that bit about the Doctor being the same man in essence but still different came from a review left by the wonderful Magali! Thanks for the idea!!