Behind Black Eyes
by Kashy
Sirius Orion Black.
Sirius Black never thought of himself as a Black.
He wasn't like the others in his family, he wasn't a death eater and he wasn't a pureblood maniac. He was a traitor, a pureblood traitor that had been burned from the family tapestry and never spoken to again.
After his favourite cousin Andromeda had run away with the muggleborn Ted Tonks he had felt isolated from the rest of the family. He had actually tried to had his cousin for that; he didn't like being the only one in the family that was completely and utterly different. Andromeda was the only other one in their generation that didn't like the pureblood laws and rights that surrounded the family. Andromeda has been an idol for him when they were growing up, she was compassionate and just an overall good person, something he didn't see in the rest of his family, something that he still didn't see. He remembered being praised by her when he was sorted in Gryffindor. She hasn't scolded and shouted insults at him like the rest of his so called family had. And Sirius remembered the letter she had left for him before she had run away, leaving to marry Ted Tonks. He hadn't spoken to her after that and the only time he saw her was from a distance when he was too scared to go and say hello. He didn't like the fact that he hadn't spoken or seen his favourite cousin until he met the charming and lovely metamorphous Nymphadora after he escaped from Azkaban.
Through out his years in Azkaban he thought about his godson, he thought about Lily and James, about Remus and Peter. He thought about his family too. Thought the one person he didn't have to think about was Bellatrix. She had continued to taunt him from the dark and dreary cells of Azkaban, even if he couldn't see or hear it. Sirius always knew that she would taunt him and his traitor ways. Sirius had always hated Bellatrix, even when they were children there had been something that he had disliked about her. When she became a death eater he had laughed and said it was about time. He hated that he was a cousin of a Death Eater but he had been waiting for the day she joined that dark side.
His brother was another matter all together. He had been close to Regulus, they were brothers after all, and they had never been separated until Sirius went to Hogwarts. The first person Sirius told about being sorted into Gryffindor was Regulus because he was afraid to tell his parents. He remembered to kind letter back that he got, but he could tell that their was going to be a strain on their relationship from then on. They had both made an effort to stay close though, even when Regulus was put rightfully into Slytherin. But as the years went on they drifted further and further away and Sirius didn't bother to make an effort to become closer to him again. James Potter had become his brother, they were related distantly after all, and the Potter's had become his family after he ran away. He remembered Regulus began to start fights after that and joined Snape and his friends. Sirius felt some regret when it came to his brother because of the way he left and the way they treated each other in the teenage years. But Sirius had never thought that Bellatrix would convince his brother to become a Death Eater though, and as much as he disliked his brother's choices, he knew that he had to let his make his own decisions at some point.
Narcissa was the only other member of the family Sirius allowed himself to recall. He didn't like to recall his parents and Bellatrix wasn't brought up in his thoughts as much as his friends, Regulus and Andromeda. Narcissa had always been, and always would be a narcissist to him, always admiring herself and always doing what was right for herself and not for anybody else. He judged his cousin Narcissa too much and had never taken any great liking or interest in her. He saw that she was a combination of Bellatrix and Andromeda but with more beauty and grace. He had never really spoken to her after he went to Hogwarts because his cousin had avoided him like the plague and had Malfoy to stalk anyway. The only truly good thing he saw in Narcissa was the fact that she gave a male heir to carry on the Black line, even if it was only partially. Sirius had always seen that as a downside to his life, the fact that he had never had a little boy to continue the Black line. But then again, if he had done that then he would just be doing what his mother wanted. Plus there was the added fact that he liked to playboy lifestyle too much to give it up.
So when Sirius died leaving his godson Harry and his friend Remus Lupin behind he didn't meet any of his cousins because they were all alive. He had never expected his vengeful and most hated cousin Bellatrix to be the death of him. He met his brother and reconnected with him, but he spent most of his time with Lily and James Potter, who were more of a family to him then any other Black.
Well sorry it's taken so long to update Behind Black Eyes, but I've been busy and personally I was stuck with what to write for Sirius. He's harder then the rest. But I tried my best and I hope you enjoyed it.
Please Review.
Next Up: Regulus Black - the final Black.
((A/N 2: Re-edit of Sirius Black! Much easier to write then before.))